HI EVERYONE

WELL HERE IS IT. MY LATEST STORY. I HAVE BEEN WRITING ALL OVER THE HOLIDAYS AND I HAVE ABOUT 30,000 WORDS ALREADY DONE SO I SHOULD BE ABLE TO UPDATE REGULARLY.

I WILL WARN YOU ALL. THIS STORY IS NOTHING LIKE MY OTHERS AND I KNOW ITS NOT GOING TO BE EVERY ONES CUP OF TEA.

THERE IS A LOT OF ANGST IN THIS STORY BUT JUST LIKE ALL MY OTHERS, IT IS A HEA AND THERE IS NO CHEATING

I APPRECIATE ALL FEEDBACK GOOD OR BAD SO I THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR THE REVIEWS

CHEERS

LORNA XOXO

PROLOGUE

I cant believe we're here. I never thought my marriage would end in divorce. Let alone because of the love of my life being unfaithful to me.

I walk into the conference room where we will meet to sign the divorce settlement and discuss custody arrangements.

If I could go for full custody I would but I know realistically that joint custody is what will happen.

When I walk thought the door I am hit with the electric jolt that was always there when we were in a room together.

I walk confidently into the room even though inside I am shaking. I sit down next to my lawyer and I don't even make eye contact with who is across the table from me. It hurts to look.

My lawyer hands me a stack of paperwork and I start to read what is basically, the end of our story.

My heart feels like its being ripped out of my chest when I flip to the first page and see the words "Divorce settlement of Christian Trevelyan-Grey & Anastasia Rose Grey"

This is it, we're really doing this...and I'm the one who demanded this.

From catching them to now has taken less than 7 weeks.

The worst 7 weeks of my life.

"Please...Please don't do this...We can work this out. We will go to marriage counselling or couples retreat, just please I'm begging you not to do this to me, to us, to our children"

I look up and my heart wants to do everything that was just said. My heart is telling me to fight for my marriage. To make it work.

But my head and my destroyed soul is telling me to end it. End it so my shattered heart can start to mend itself. Well, try and mend itself.

"You are the one who did this to us. You're the one who broke our marriage vows and its because of you that our children will grow up in a broken home. Tell me, was it worth it? You have lost me, our home, our children half the time and you have to live for the rest of your life knowing that you! the one person on this planet that I trusted with my whole heart FUCKING DESTROYED ME!"

"Christian, I didn't do anything I swear. I..."

"ENOUGH!" I slam my fist on the table making everyone jump.

"I am sick of hearing you try and worm your way out of it. I want a divorce, Anastasia. I want to put you and our marriage behind us and pretend it never fucking happened. My focus now is on Teddy and Phoebe. You're not my problem any more. Now lets sign the fucking papers and get it over with"

I turn my attention back to the papers and try to drown out the sound of my wife's hysterical sobs.

She is the reason our marriage is now over and she acts like she is the innocent party. I want this fucking over.

I know I am being cold towards her but I am trying to protect my heart.

Or what's left of it.

The blue eyes that used to bring me such joy now make my heart twist like a knife is going through it.

I sign the first paper and then push it across to her.

With one swipe of her pen, Anastasia Grey becomes Anastasia Steel once again.

If she signs it that is.

She looks down at the document and pen with her watery blue eyes and then looks up at me.

I see many things in her eyes. Hurt, anger, regret, defiance, love, confusion and most of all, stubbornness.

"I'm not signing that" she sits up straighter and keeps her eyes locked with mine.

I turn my head.

I hear her lawyer try to reason with her but she snaps and like I did only moments before she slams her hand on the desk making everyone but me jump.

"I AM NOT FUCKING SIGNING THAT!" she screams and then slumps back in her chair where her tears once again fall down her face.

"Mrs Grey, This agreement is beneficial for both you and Mr Grey. If you turn it to page three you will see that the monthly allowance that Mr Grey will be putting into your bank account is more than generous considering the...situation" William Hartfield my personal attorney tells her but Ana locks him with glare that almost makes him piss himself.

"The situation? There is no fucking situation! I didn't do anything! I have never broken my marriage vows and my ass of a husband won't stay in a room longer than two minutes with me so I can explain anything to him! I am not signing those papers. I am not giving up on my marriage because my husbands self loathing has taking over his brain and HE WONT FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!" She screams once more and I've had enough.

"William, how long will a contested divorce take?"

"It can take anywhere between six months to a year depending on the clients" He parrots off.

"Then start the ball rolling on it today" I tell him as I stand and button my jacket before turning to everyone in the room.

"Leave us" I indicate to myself and Ana the command in my voice makes everyone, including the snivelling little wheeze bag who is supposed to be my wife's legal council leave the room with out a word, leaving us alone for the first time in about two weeks.

The hope in her eyes is almost my undoing. I know she is thinking that I will start to say sometime that might get us back on track but the beast inside me is screaming for me to destroy her like she has destroyed me.

"If you won't sign it then I will fight you in court. Is that what you want Anastasia? For our, no let me rephrase that, Your, dirty laundry to be aired in the media? Do you really want our children to be bullied at school by the other children who taunt them about their mommy who couldn't keep her legs shut?" The hurt that comes across her face almost makes me crumble but being the dick that I am, I carry on and rip her to shreds. The room we are in has one way mirrored glass all around and is sound proofed so I know that we will not be seen or heard by anyone.

"Have you fucked him since he got out the hospital? Have you had him in our bed? Does he make you scream like I could?" I lean down and get right in her face so we are eye to eye.

"Have you let him fuck your ass? Or have you not whored that part of yourself out yet?"

Her hand raises and falls on my face with a resounding slap that echoes off the walls. I roughly grab her arm and pull her out the chair before I harshly push her against the wall making her yelp in shock. I grab both of her slender hands in both of mine and hold them above her head.

It's not lost on me that this is the position we were in when we had our first kiss.

"Don't you ever, Ever, hit me again Anastasia" I snarl and for the first time in our marriage, I see fear in her eyes.

"I...I've...it's only been you Christian...only ever you...why won't you believe me? You won't even listen to me"

"What's there to fucking listen too? I walked in to a hotel room to find you naked, Him naked, clothes all over the floor and your face was flushed!. Imagine if the tables had been turned? imagine you finding me in a bed, naked with Leila next to me! Imagine your heart being ripped out of your chest and then thrown in a blender and you might, might get the idea" I scream.

I can't look at her any-more. Just the thought of what I walked in on is enough to make me want to vomit. I let go of her hands and then turn from her. I go to grab my cell phone off the table when I feel her small soft hand on my back in my once forbidden zone.

"Christian..." I turn with lightning speed and push her off of me and to my horror her heel catches on part of the carpet and she goes crashing to the floor. The shock on her face at what I have done makes me hate myself. I pushed her over. Ana. I hurt her.

The beast that I thought was well and truly locked away comes roaring to the surface and instead of helping her up and begging forgiveness which is what the hearts and flowers man trapped inside me is screaming at me to do, I do the opposite. I look at her with my impassive CEO face and leave her on the floor.

"Don't ever fucking touch me again" I snarl and then leave the room but not before I hear the sobs that start to rack her body.

The guilt that washes over me is enough to bring me to my knees but I manage to make my way down the elevator and across the garage to my car Before I completely lose it.

I scream and let the tears over take me.

Seven years of happily married bliss and now it's gone.

Seeing her small body on that floor sickened me and just makes me realise what I knew from the first moment she fell into my office.

I'm no good for her.