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Carlisle's POV

I stayed nearby as Jasper fed from the small deer that Alice and Edward brought back. He doesn't usually like it when somebody is nearby while he is feeding as it makes him feel very vulnerable as well as possessive of his own kill but right now, his eyes were constantly flickering to me. Not because he wanted to make sure I kept my distance but because he wanted to reassure himself that I was still there...just not too close. It may have been because he wasn't the one that made the kill but even then, that would have still left him cautious. Perhaps it was because the events that took place had shaken him up and I just happened to be the one to stop the wolves from finishing him off. It's caused him to believe that I would keep the wolves away if they try to hurt him again. It's true, I would protect all of my children with my life. I just need to get to the bottom of why Jasper had crossed paths with the Quiluette's in the first place. The way they see it, Jasper was the one in the wrong. He was the one who trespassed after all.

Once Jasper finished drinking, he looked up and watched me expectantly. I had hoped that he would be the first to say something but he seemed to hope that I would be the first to speak.

"We'll bury the deer later; I want to talk first" I stated.

He looked down at the ground guiltily and he knew what was coming. I walked passed him and further into the forest and then jumped up into a tree, indicating that this was where I wanted to talk. It was far enough from the house so that nobody would overhear but I also wanted to be nearby because Jasper still needed some time to heal and just in case anything bad happened, I wouldn't be too far from the house. Plus, Alice was in the house and not being too far from her gave him some reassurance.

Jasper looked back at the house for a few seconds before jumping into the same tree...and then on the same thick branch. Again, I was surprised with the effort Jasper was making by being close with me today. It was something that I hoped would last but deep down, I knew that it wouldn't. I wasn't sure how long it would last but eventually, Jasper would return to his usual withdrawn behavior around me. No matter how many times I will prove to him that I care, he won't ever be as comfortable with me like the rest of my children are and as upsetting as the thought was, I knew it wasn't his fault. He was a damaged soul and there was only so much I could do to help him.

Jasper was watching me curiously, probably trying to figure out all the emotions he could feel from me. What could he sense? Pity? Sadness? Love? Worry? Disappointment? I hoped he couldn't sense the last one in fear that he would think that it was aimed at him. In truth, I was disappointed with myself by not coming up with a solution on how to make everything better for him; how to make him not fear me, how to make him understand the difference between a family and a coven and to accept that no physical punishment is involved. I hate seeing the way he cowers his head or exposes his neck whenever he thinks he has done something wrong. I hate the way he never turns his back on any of us excluding Alice. I hate the way Alice is his only reason for being here, the way he thinks this is her family and not his. And most of all, I hate the way he is waiting for me to turn into Maria; that I am his coven leader and not his father. I know I can't blame him but it still hurt.

This is why despite what happened, I like today's Jasper and I wanted him to stay close.

"I'm sorry"

A sudden voice interrupted my thoughts and reminded me that I wasn't alone. I turned my gaze to my son who was still watching me but now I could see shame behind those golden eyes.

"For today. For putting you and Edward in danger. For almost putting Alice in that position too. I shouldn't have done that" he whispered.

This is what I'm talking about. He seems to think that my worry was based on me and Edward going after him. Why couldn't he understand how much I really cared about him? I was worried about him. Jasper! He had been hurt. He could have been killed and yet here he was apologizing because he thought I was worried about having to protect him.

"What were you doing out there?" I whispered.

Jasper held my gaze for a few moments and then turned his head away to hide his face. His attention was on our house far ahead, probably imagining what Alice was doing right now. My guess was rearranging the closet again. I knew that he wasn't going to answer me so I was forced to continue.

"Jasper, you had me worried sick. You know the danger of crossing Quiluette territory and they could have killed you. Do you have any idea what that would have done to us? Alice isn't the only one who loves you, you know? We all do" I finished.

"I know" he whispered back.

Did he? Or was that the only reply he could think of. I wanted him to talk to me, not these small worded replies, really talk to me. I wouldn't go as far to say 'open up' because I knew that he wouldn't. Alice was the only person he was only open with but I just wanted him to speak to me without feeling like a complete stranger.

"Can I at least have an explanation?" I asked, desperately.

He still remained silent and I couldn't tell if it was because he was thinking of what to say or because he really didn't want to tell me anything. I chose to encourage him to say something.

"I noticed that there was a nomad on their land too" I commented.

His body stiffened though he did his best to hide it. His fists were tightened, his jaws were clenched and I noticed that he began to breathe; a method that vampires used to calm themselves down. I could tell that is was a mix of panic and anger and in hope to calm him, I gently placed my hand on his shoulder. I was expecting him to flinch so that didn't bother me but I didn't remove my hand because I knew that if I left it there long enough, he would relax into it. It was something I did to him every now and then as I knew that the flinching and tensing was more to do with an automatic reaction because the smallest part of his mind was still with Maria and the newborns. A gentle touch from me occasionally would remind him that I wasn't her and it was working ever so slightly because as the years went by, his flinching was becoming less and less obvious just like his tensing happened less because he fought against it.

I felt him as he leaned into my touch once he was fully aware that I wasn't a danger and more of a protector and a comfort. He looked up to the sky, observing the dark grey clouds that told us that we would receive another day of rain.

"He was a threat"

My eyes were back on Jasper but he didn't look away from the sky. Everyone outside of this family was a threat to Jasper. What I wanted to know was why he had been stupid enough to chase the nomad into somebody else's land.

"Did he attack you or Alice?" I asked.

He shook his head slowly but seemed unaware of the point I was trying to make.

"So how did you know he was a threat?" I questioned.

That got his attention as his eyes quickly moved on to me in a hardened stare.

"You don't understand, Carlisle. You don't just wait to see if they are friend or foe. All of our kind is capable of killing. Do you think the best thing to do is give them time to attack? You're a leader, you should know this stuff but you don't" he accused, harshly.

When he finished, he looked down, tilting his head ever so slightly and I knew what he was doing. He was waiting for me to punish him for talking to me like that because that's what he was used to when he corrected his previous coven leader. Instead, I moved my hand to the side of his head to straighten his neck; a gesture that tells him that I wasn't going to do it. I would never hurt him. The only time my teeth have ever broke somebody's skin was when I changed my wife and three of my children.

"Not everyone is an enemy, Jasper" I stated.

He closed his eyes and clenched his jaws again. He knew this. He knew that I was right but part of his mind still failed to believe me.

"I know that. I know but I just...I..."

Jasper ran a hand through his hair in frustration and my guess was because he hated his struggle to talk to me...or anybody else who appeared to be the dominant figure for that matter.

"What is this really about?" I asked with curiosity.

I just wanted to hear something that would explain his behavior. Not just for today, but for all those nights he spends outside the house, just standing there watching; almost as if he were looking out for something. It was doing that, that got him into this trouble in the first place and I don't think I could let him go out again without worrying about what he was up to.

"I'm scared" he whispered so quietly that I almost missed it.

Out of all the things that have happened today, this was definitely the most unusual. Jasper never said anything like this; especially in my presence. It was one of the rules that he had been raised with by his first coven leader; 'never show weakness'.

I felt rather sympathetic towards him but at the same time, rather proud that he could admit something like that to me. But why? What was making him feel so scared? Had this been any of my other children, I would have pulled them into a tight hug by now but I had to be gentle with Jasper when it came to things like this. He was the most difficult to comfort.

"What is scaring you?" I asked with delicacy.

He licked his lips and turned his head around, scanning the area to make sure that there wasn't anybody listening to us. Once satisfied, he looked at me directly in the eyes and only then, did I truly see his fear.

"That she'll come back for me"

There was a silence once the words were said and I was put into one of the common positions where I had to think of the right thing to say to him. Of course he would think that, but I couldn't ignore that it was a possibility.

"And if she does, I won't let her take you" I stated with confidence.

Whether he believed it or not, I would fight for him.

"That's what I'm afraid of. You wouldn't stand a chance against her. She's smart and she wouldn't be alone" he explained as he looked away.

He was speaking as if he was sure that this would happen in the future and he said them like facts. Of course he would. He knew what she and the newborns were capable of and he has only trained us partly on how to fight against Victoria's army a few months back. So if it came to a fight, at least one of us would get hurt but I didn't want to think about it because it wasn't something that would definitely happen and Jasper needed to know that. This was just Jasper being overly cautious as per usual.

Cautious.

He wasn't just spending every night outside...he was on guard.

This was all beginning to make sense now.

"That's why you're outside the house every night" I stated, quietly.

Jasper took a quick glace at me, licking his lips nervously. I could tell that he was analyzing my emotions and thinking of the reason behind them. He took a deep breath and then looked back at me; for longer this time.

"It's not that I'm scared that Ma...Maria will come back for me. I just know that if she does, she would destroy anybody who gets in her way. I don't want her...or anybody else to hurt this family. It's the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't want anybody to take that away" Jasper explained, desperately.

To say that I was stunned was an understatement. Protecting Alice from nomads was something I had no problem believing but I didn't realize that Jasper had also tried his best to protect the rest of us too.

It was my job to be the protector of this family so the fact that Jasper was taking part in that role could actually be a bad sign. Either he didn't fully trust me to keep this family safe from danger or he was doing all that he could do to prevent a vampire attack from happening; especially if Maria was involved as he would hold himself responsible.

"Jasper, nothing will happen to our family" I told him, saying each word slowly so that he could understand them.

He frowned, looking rather doubtful.

"You don't know that" he whispered.

I guess I now understand what Edward had meant when he tried to explain why Jasper did what he did without actually telling me the reason why he was spending so much time outside at night. 'It was one of his habits that kept him sane'. If Jasper spent all of his time locked up inside, especially being paranoid of passing nomads, he really would go insane.

"You're right. Nobody can ever avoid danger, no matter how hard they try. If looking out for danger every night comforts you, then you do that but I don't want you ever passing the Quiluette's land again. You hear me? You could have been killed, Jasper. You do understand that, don't you?" I questioned, perhaps a little too sternly.

I hoped that despite my stern tone, he could feel my concern for him. I could see the small winces Jasper made when he moved ever so slightly. He was still hurting but at least he had energy in his system now. He was shaking again but he tried to hide it from me.

"I don't know what came over me" he mumbled, fidgeting uncomfortably.

I didn't find that hard to believe at at all. When Jasper felt threatened, he never could control what he did and it was up to us to calm him down.

"I'm sorry. I...I'm sorry, I'm really sorry"

Jasper was muttering to himself now and he was frustrated. His shaking hands found there way to his head as he rubbed his palms against his forehead roughly. He was whimpering in between his muttering which was probably due to the still healing wound on his shoulder. He appeared to be panicking and I needed to calm him before it turned into a full blown panic attack.

Very carefully, I slide my hand around his back and pulled him towards me, into a hug. I knew that Jasper didn't like hugs because to him, he felt like he was being restrained but right now, it was what he needed. It caused him to tense up once more but I didn't let go.

"Relax son" I soothed.

I rubbed my hand along his spine in attempt to calm him and in return, I could hear him taking deep long breaths, forcing himself to relax against me with his chin resting on my shoulder. At least he was making an effort to improve his reaction to physical contact.

I suddenly felt the lightest touch against my back and that's when I realized that he was returning the hug. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as he did so. As small as it sounds, he had no idea how long I had wanted to be able to hug my own son without him pulling away, frightened or worse, freaking out.

"I forgive you, son" I whispered to him.

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