Lay Down Your Arms

...

When Charmander became Charmelion he had taken in the look on Ash's face and felt his heart break. Triumphant satisfaction, so close to smug. So similar to the look on Damiens' face when he found out that Charmander had learnt flamethrower. Seeing that on Ash's face... he'd been so hurt, and then so mad. And every time he was called out he'd shown Ash, ignoring him, all the while thrashing his opponents to show he was the strongest, the best. Every victory rubbed it in. He didn't need a trainer. And he'd show Ash that. None of his power, or his strength was because of Ash. None of it.

(And if Charizard rejected Ash first, then he wouldn't get hurt. Again.)

Relaxing in his pokeball he felt satisfied that he'd driven the point home by throwing the match after tossing that little Pikachu around to prove he could (Charizard fought for himself, no one else!). That would teach the boy.

Inside a pokeball pokemon could still hear the outside world, but it was faint and easy to ignore. When he heard his name mentioned Charizard stirred, wanting to hear the aftermath of him refusing to obey his weak trainer.

'..izard! I won't let you take him.' What? Was team rocket after him this time? That could be fun. Sending those goofs flying was always satisfying.

'Ash, your Charizard is too strong to leave with you. I'm sorry, I know this is the last thing that you want. But he needs to go somewhere where he will be controlled.' That sounded more like that Professor Oak from the lab. Charizard scoffed. Him? Controlled? They'd have a better chance of controlling a forest fire!

…but what was this about leaving?

Charizard could feel that Ash was holding his pokeball, the little machine warming up ready to release him. Was this it? After months of waiting for it?

'Ash, this just isn't going to work anymore. You've had a long enough grace period' Who was that? The tall boy with the food?

'Please! Give me another chance!' Was the boy really fighting to keep him? Charizard felt a creeping sensation of something and squashed it down. Ash was probably just putting up the token effort so that he could pretend he had fought. He couldn't want to keep a disobedient pokemon on his team.

'That is enough kid, either hand it over, or we will revoke your trainers licence.' The creep settled into disappointment. Charizard was sure this was it. He'd been waiting for Ash to leave him, and now the brat would.

'No! You're right, I haven't trained as hard as I could have. But I can do it! I can be a better trainer for Charizard!'

..what? Why wasn't he grabbing the opportunity? After all the trouble he'd caused Ash? After all the flamethrowers? After throwing his chance at winning the league?

'Ash part of being a trainer is knowing when you are beaten' Charizard scoffed again, Ash never knew when to give up…not even on a Charizard that wouldn't listen. (being called out again and again, spitting fire in Ashs' face, again and again.)

'Brock!'

'You need to listen to the professor.' Even Ash's flock-mates where arguing for him to give up. Charizard was feeling something other than the hurt and rage he'd been carrying around for the last few months. Worry.

'No! Look, it was stupid to send Charizard out there, but I'm learning all the time! And, and no one got hurt! All that happened was that we lost a battle.'

'Ash, every time you let him out he blasts you!' That was that water girl, with the hair. Never liked her (soft hands feeding him treats…).

'Yeah, me! I can take it. He's never hurt anyone else! Look!'

And one very confused and worried Charizard found himself being released from his ball. Automatically he roared and let his flamethrower loose into the night sky, feeling his emotions calm with it. It was dark and they were standing in the middle of the road, by the huge arena they'd fought in lit by those tall light trees. Charizard stomped a little and looked for Ashs reaction.

Ash wasn't even looking at him! Instead…he was crying, head down and shadowed. Cringing away from him Charizard realised with a shock. Ash had never flinched from him before!

Professor Oak was standing opposite them, with other humans in fancy looking clothes and odd-coloured pokeballs in hand. Next to them Ash's human companions, all shifting backwards looking fearful. Of him. Ash was sobbing hard enough that his shoulders were shaking.

'See!' said one of the strangers, gesturing to the embers floating in the air. What? It wasn't like he'd torched anyone. Not even Ash!

'It's for the best young man. Your Charizard will be better off with someone else.' Tried a sweet-talking woman in the funny clothes. But Ash just stood there looking down, arms wrapped around himself and face hidden under his usual cap. He is shaking all over.

Charizard snarls at the strange humans. Pikachu had had enough and yells too, flashing a thunderbolt between Charizard and the rest of them. They all jumped back, a satisfying amount of fear on their faces. They could see that they were strong! Now they would back down and let them be! But if anything the leader of the strange-humans looked triumphant. Like someone just walked into his flamethrower.

'Oak, I'm honestly not comfortable leaving this boy with that Pikachu. It is abnormally strong and what happens if that Pikachu evolves? I think the league needs to review his whole team.'

Ash's head jerks up, horrified, his eyes begging, tears still streaming down his face. Professor Oak is glaring at the stranger now. Ash's human companions say nothing. They just look away. They were all looking away, seemingly embarrassed for him.

Charizard immediately felt any remains of his self-riotous rage disappear. Separate Ash and Pikachu? That was just …wrong!

Charizard turns to Ash, bending his head to see the boy's face. He was sobbing like his heart was breaking, tears leaving trails on his dirty face. Charizard hadn't wanted this.

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. I'm so sorry.' He's murmuring to himself and shaking and falling apart. In his mind's eye Charizard sees a scared, heartbroken Charmander sitting on a rock.

Charizard wasn't sure what he had wanted. But this wasn't it. The strange human stepped towards Ash reaching towards Charizards pokeball and the fire pokemon snapped his fangs at him. Hands off! Immediately someone released a Blastoise that stomped and growled trying to intimidate Charizard.

Charizard just snorted at her, and stepped closer to Ash completely dwarfing the young boy. Ash looked up, tearful and terrified and so very, very young. Charizard looked at him and felt ashamed. This was the same boy who had helped save him after he had been abandoned. (He'd whispered sorry over and over, had cried, had promised to do better if Damian would just give him a chance!) How had he forgotten? The memory seemed distant and foggy, but he remembered warm and worried eyes and a jacket tented over his tail. Keeping him alive.

And he had abandoned that boy. He'd done that to the person who pulled him back and given him a home, and a team.

Charizard breathes in and Ash flinches. Charazard feels even worse, and blows out gently drying his boys face. In shock, Ash gulps down his tears and looks at his pokemon standing above him with wide sad eyes.

Charazard rumbles gently at him, and for the first time in months Ash can see his friend plainly, not hidden behind contempt. He immediately throws his arms around the dragon, clinging like a Mankey and sobbing.

'I'm so sorry Charizard. I'm sorry.' Charizard rumbles again, feeling guilty as his trainer, his friend, apologises desperately. (I'm sorry Damien, come back, I'm sorry).

The night air is cold and Ash is warm against him, except for the place where his face is dripping all over him. That's why Charizard stands there and doesn't pull back, and maybe curls an arm around Ash. The other humans are still watching, some look indifferent. But most look sad. Charizard wishes he could talk and tell them to buzz off. The lead human waits until Ash steps back and smiles at Charizard before coming forward again. He clears his throat in the awkward silly way humans do (why if they wanted attention couldn't they just roar like a normal mon?) and Ash looks at him.

'Look, Ash. A hug doesn't change anything. You just, aren't up to training a pokemon at Charizards level.' Charizard bends his head over Ash's and, knowing all about annoying people, yawns in the man's face before resting his neck on Ashs' shoulder. It wasn't at all comfortable leaning down that far (when had Ash gotten so small?) but it got the message across.

I don't care what you have to say. I'm not going anywhere.

Ash stands tall with his pokemon leaning on him and looks the representative in the eye, radiating determination, rather than fear or sadness. Charizard can see Pikachu grinning at him as he scrambled onto Ashs' other shoulder. It's been a while since any of his team mates had looked happy to see him. Ashs' hand comes up to smooth along his neck and Charizard feels as tall as a mountain.

'Maybe. But I can learn. I will learn. I won't just let you take one of my team from me.' Charizard huffs in agreement, blowing smoke towards the league man who coughs and scowls.

Ash continues 'It was stupid to use Charizard in that match, but it was just one mistake. No one got hurt' and there is a pause here. Charizard carefully doesn't think about all the tantrums he's thrown over the last few weeks, power itching to get out and hurt rage clouding his mind 'and no one will. I'll train hard and work with Charizard so that we can battle together. I can't do that if you take him from me.'

The strange man takes in Ashs' 'you can't make me face', Charizard draped over him like a lazy Persian and looks back at the other humans for support. Someone murmurs 'It hardly looks out of control right now' and the man gives in with a huff.

'You are going to be under supervision, young man. If we find anything wrong with your record, your licence will be revoked and your pokemon will be rehomed. Is that understood?'

Charizard huffs and returns himself to his pokeball to continue his nap. His mind troubled and skin crawling from all the emotions he's had to deal with today, but sure of one thing. Ash would never let that happen.

...

AN. I'm on a serious pokemon kick after the new game release. I've got another few thousand words of disjointed angst which I might post as a sequel to this, but it keeps growing and I'm working at turning it into a full length fic. We'll see how that goes.

Feedback welcome and well received :)