Simplicity and Tomorrow

by Kadi

Rated: K+

Disclaimer: Not my sandbox, but I do love playing in it!

A/N: Spoilers for Episodes 3x18 and 3x19 Special Master part 1 & 2. I am still blown away by the episodes, and I cannot believe that ending! At the same time, my Shandy feels were bolstered by that moment in Part 2. After all the darkness, and the pain, and the fear, I think there was more that needed to be said. Enjoy!

The ninth floor was quiet now. The frenzied search for Burning Man was over. He was in custody, although the nature of his case was still a bit in question. He admitted to the murders, but there was still the matter of his current condition and how he was apprehended. That would need to be dealt with.

Julio.

Burning Man was little more than paperwork as far as her team was concerned. There were reports that needed to be finished, but for now, they were on hold. There were other, more pressing matters at hand. Another search to be conducted.

Stroh.

He used the distraction of their case to make good his escape. Just as Sharon knew that he would. She didn't expect that he was still in Los Angeles, not a criminal as smart as Stroh. Not unless he was determined to follow through on his second objective to never leave a witness.

Rusty.

He could just as easily be gone. This was her hope. Sharon didn't want to let herself brush too closely to that feeling. It was likely that Stroh was in the wind, well out of LA and on his way to parts unknown. He was a smart man, but he was also a psychopath. That made him unpredictable. He could be laying low, waiting for the firestorm that his escape created to fade before he made his move. Stroh had to know that they would all be on guard now, that Rusty would be protected.

Only he wasn't.

Rusty wasn't going to let her protect him. He was refusing every attempt that she made to convince him otherwise. It wasn't only her. Lieutenant Provenza tried to speak to him too. Rusty stood firm. Respectful, but firm. He was not going to live his life in fear. He was not going to live his life in a prison. He was taking charge of his destiny and his life was going to be his own. He was not a puppet and Stroh would no longer be pulling at his strings.

It tied her stomach in knots. More than once Stroh tried to kill him. Twice he failed. For a man like Stroh, that was inconceivable. Sharon couldn't believe that he would let this go so easily, that he would let Rusty go so easily. He would be back. It was only a matter of when. Until then, they were left to wonder. They were left to worry.

The worry and the fatigue of the last few days were weighing down on her. At this point she was so very tired that her body ached with it. Her stomach was tied in too many knots for her to even consider coffee or tea, and it left her feeling mildly nauseous. Her eyes hurt. Every movement, every time that she blinked. They were dry and pained. She couldn't even begin to consider closing them. Not yet. The thought filled her with panic. She was terrified that when she opened them again Rusty would be gone.

It was irrational. For the moment he was still relatively safe. As long as he was where she could see him. As long as he was surrounded by officers and guns, insulated on the ninth floor, Rusty was perfectly safe. It was tomorrow that was questionable. Tomorrow would bring the danger. Tomorrow when he would step out of her sight and be alone on streets where there was a psychotic killer waiting for the opportunity to be rid of him. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Tonight Rusty was asleep in her office. Sharon looked in on him earlier and found him sleeping on the green chair in the corner of her office. He was so tired. These last few days had not been easy for him either. Sharon knew that she should take him home, let him spend the night in his own bed. Not yet. She wasn't ready yet to take him away from the last truly safe place he would ever know. She let him sleep.

She watched him for a few minutes, so quiet and innocent in sleep, but the effect of the previous days were etched in the frown that drew his brows together. Even in sleep there were more worries on his mind than any boy his age should know about. She couldn't fix them all. Try though she might, there were things that were beyond her control. Sharon drew away from him, left the office silent and dark. She left the stark brightness of the murder room and retreated away from the activity, away from the search.

The back halls were silent. They were dim this late at night. Beyond the windows the lights of the city glowed back at her. Usually it was a lovely sight. Tonight it seemed ominous. Sharon braced her hands against the window ledge and leaned forward. She allowed her shoulders to slump and her head to dip. The coolness of the glass greeted her as she let her forehead rest against it. It felt good to the ache behind her eyes.

There was no one to see her here. No one to know if she gave in, just for a moment, to the fatigue and the terror. Sharon drew a thin breath. A tremor ran through her. The chill that she had been holding at bay for most of the day swept over her. It wasn't enough to stand in front of that man. It wasn't enough to put Rusty in front of him, not once but twice. They'd had him. They had him and he was going away forever, and now… They lost him. He was out there, and when she turned off her intellectual side, every instinct that she had was screaming that he would be back. It left her cold, aching, and trembling.

The warmth came when she least expected it. Hands landed on her shoulders. She was drawn back against a solid chest. Sharon was aware that she should have startled, probably should have jumped. She didn't. She knew. Now or in a few minutes, it was inevitable that she would be followed. She would be checked on. There was only one who would dare.

Andy.

Sharon turned, unseeing, and let herself be drawn in. She expelled a shaky breath and let her arms slide beneath his jacket to wrap around his middle. Warm. Solid. Safe. The lump in her throat only seemed to grow, even while she tucked her face against his neck and allowed herself to accept the simple comfort that he was offering. She shuddered quietly, drew her bottom lip between her teeth and kept her eyes closed against the ache that had turned to a sharp sting. There was a hand in her hair, fingers gentle against her scalp. His thumb was stroking the side of her neck, slowly, gently. His other hand settled against her lower back, drew her closer.

In a storm of panic and worry, and anger, there was peace. There was comfort. She exhaled again, found that her chest ached a little less. Such a little thing, the act of being held. It helped. Odd though it seemed, with all that was happening around them and where they were standing. Such a little act was everything. It was a levy against the storm, a stop gap, rather than a cure. He knew, he always knew. A word, a look, even a touch. It was the simplicity of it. No grand or overt gestures.

She took another breath, this one much easier than the last. She sighed softly, and with it, she offered a quiet, reassuring hum. A response to let him know that she would be okay. That he was appreciated. That in this moment the little that he could offer her was enough. More than enough.

"You should go home." The sound of his voice rumbled quietly in the dimly lit hall.

Concern. She heard it, felt it in the way his hand moved up her back. It was in the way his thumb traced the curve of her ear, in just the slightest, faintest caress. Hardly there at all, and yet, the warmth of it was chasing away the chill and ache of the fear that settled inside her the moment they learned Stroh had escaped. If she was honest with herself, the fear started long before that. It started the moment that they began to suspect Stroh was grasping at desperate straws to make his deal. It began when Rios informed them that he could be behind the murders they were trying to solve. It wouldn't leave her completely, not until he was caught, but for just a moment, it wasn't quite so pressing.

She was loathe to move at all, but Sharon lifted her head. "No." Her eyes closed. "I should, yes, but…" Another tremor, not quite as strong as the others, but it travelled along her spine. She shook her head. Her throat tried to close up again.

"Hey." When she tried to look down, his hand moved. It slid out of her hair and gently cupped her chin. He lifted her face toward him, even as his own dipped. He searched her eyes, such a myriad of emotions there, deepening the normal color to something that looked a bit like moss. "We're not gonna find him tonight."

Sharon's hand curled around his wrist. Her thumb slipped beneath the gold chain that he always wore to stroke gently along the inside, near the steady beating of his pulse. "All the more reason to stay," she said quietly, voice thick.

His jaw clenched. There it was. The same fear he saw in her eyes was churning in his own gut. It was Rusty that Stroh would want. It was Rusty that he could come for. If he wasn't already across the border and halfway to who knew where. It was the not knowing that bothered them the most. But it was Rusty that Sharon was worried about. Andy sighed. Yeah, he was worried about the kid too, they all were, but at the moment… there was something else, someone else that he was a little concerned about. If Stroh decided he wanted Rusty, he wasn't going to let anything stop him, least of all Sharon. She wouldn't hesitate to put herself between them, and maybe she could take care of herself, but that didn't stop him from worrying about it. When it came to protecting Rusty, there was nothing that she wouldn't do. Like taking eight flights of stairs in her bare feet and knocking down a door with a fire extinguisher. When it came to Rusty she wasn't a cop. She was a mother. She couldn't be objective. They knew that. She knew that too. Yeah, that scared the hell out of him, even while it was one of the things he liked most about her.

"Ain't nothing going to happen to Rusty," he said. She wouldn't let it. He wouldn't let it. "Listen." Andy shifted where he stood. He let his hands move to her shoulders. Space opened between them, but just enough so that he could look at her fully. "You and I both know that nothing is going to happen tonight. Stroh has gone to ground. He isn't gonna be poking his head out anytime soon. Go home, Sharon. Take the kid home. Sleep in a real bed. Come back and find the bastard tomorrow."

"Hm." She hummed again. "It's the leaving that I have a problem with." She saw the question in his eyes, but Sharon shook her head. She didn't have it in her to get into that now. He was right, she was much too tired. They all were. Her head inclined while she studied him. He was just as drawn and tired, and angry as she was. Sharon sighed. She let her eyes close. She could try sending him home, but he wouldn't go. He would stay as long as she did, and really, he wasn't the only one. She couldn't keep them all there. Sharon nodded slowly. "Okay," she whispered.

There was still so much to do. None of them were in any shape to do it tonight. They'd been operating on too little sleep, and too much adrenaline. How many times had they come close to dying this time? If Sharon tried hard enough she could still smell the smoke that had invaded their clothes the other night. She could still see Buzz's soot streaked face. Good god, she had almost lost them all. Sharon opened her eyes and looked up at the man in front of her. He was still watching her, the concern was still there. She lay her hand against his chest, let her fingers stroke the length of his tie. "Okay," she said again, this time with much more resolve.

She would send Tao home to his wife, there would be solace in that for him. She would send Amy with Cooper, he would keep her safe, they would ground each other. Provenza she would send to his solitude, or to a waiting Patrice. There was a bit of a question there, and she hadn't the energy to linger too much on that. With Buzz she could only guess where he would find his peace, but he seemed to always manage. There was an innocence about him, buried in the snark and the humor that seemed to come out around them. He had every reason to be as jaded and cynical as the rest of them could be, and yet he wasn't. She treasured that about him.

Andy she should send home. She would say that she should send him to a meeting, but he knew better than she what he needed when he was away from the darkness that their jobs could present. There was also a part of her that wanted to be a bit selfish. There were things that she wanted to say, and things that she was too exhausted to say, and he was just warm, and solid, and safe. She should send him home.

Julio. Sharon closed her eyes again. That was a situation she didn't want to think about. FID was done with him for the night. He was sitting at his desk. There were things that she needed to do, paperwork to be completed. Words that needed to be said. She couldn't. Not tonight.

"I'll drive you." His hands fell away from her. Andy pushed them into his pockets. He took a step back, shrugged, and looked at his feet. "We sent someone to pick up the kid's car the other day, and it's down in the garage, but…" She was tired, and she wasn't going to let Rusty drive himself home, and if he was honest about it, he wasn't ready to let her out of his sight.

Her lips curved. It was a small, soft smile. It lit her face, warmed her eyes. She nodded once. She wasn't so tired that she couldn't drive herself home, but this was another of those simple, not so grand gestures that he was making. She understood it. Maybe she wouldn't have to be so selfish after all. She could lean on him, and keep an eye on Rusty, and for just tonight, they could both feel better about the situation. She folded her arms across her chest. "Thank you." Before he could look down again, in that sometimes bashful, other times sheepish way of his, Sharon turned. She gazed back toward the Murder Room. Yes, she would send them all home. Determined now, she nodded once more, this time to herself.

She began walking again, and her steps felt as though she was moving through mud. So maybe she was right, maybe it wasn't so selfish to let Andy drive her home. She felt him behind her, felt is hand brush her back as they strode toward the Murder Room. She also felt him drop back a step as they crossed that threshold. She knew that if she looked, his hands would be hanging at his sides. Sharon allowed a small smile at that, the distance that he knew to provide and when to provide, just drew her that much closer.

As she entered the room, heads turned. The eyes of her team settled on her. From the corner of her eye she watched Andy move to his desk. Sharon let her gaze wonder the room, settle over each of them. She clasped her hands in front of her. "Go home." Sharon shook her head at the hesitation, at the beginnings of protest she could see forming on some of their faces. "You've all done more than enough for now. Go home, get some rest. Come back tomorrow. We'll wrap up the paperwork then, and we'll keep looking. There is nothing else that any of us can accomplish tonight."

They all looked at each other. They wondered, silently, if she would take her own advice. Provenza frowned at her. Then he looked beyond, and saw his partner already straightening up his desk. He caught his eye and when Flynn nodded, Provenza sighed. He pushed himself up from his desk, felt his own body creak and ache in ways that just reminded him that he was too damned old for all this. Yet still, he pressed on. The Lieutenant looked around the room. Then he lifted up his jacket. "You heard the Captain. Let's get out of here before she changes her mind."

The others were a little slower to move, but when the Lieutenant began rolling down the sleeves of his shirt, in preparation for sliding into his jacket, they all began to finally gather their things. Sharon watched Amy take her purse out of her desk and close her computer for the night. She turned and saw Tao doing much the same, closing down his computer and shrugging into his jacket. Buzz moved around the room. He had much more to shut down, but he wasn't hesitating in doing it. Sharon smiled at them. "Thank you all."

She took a step back and turned again. That was when Julio stood from behind his desk. He walked toward her. She hadn't spoken to him yet, but he knew that she would. He was ready. "Captain."

Even looking at him right now was painful. He moved into her path. Sharon opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it again. Her mouth turned down into a small frown. There was a lot that she needed to say to him, a lot that she would have to say. It wasn't a conversation that could be had at present. Sharon knew that if she began speaking she would end up saying things that she would regret later. She was angry at him. Angrier, she thought, than she could recall being at any one of her fellow officers in recent memory. Her jaw clenched while her stomach churned. More than anger, what she felt at present was disappointment.

Sharon shook her head at him. "No." It was all that she could manage to say at first. She had to clear her throat when her voice faltered over it. "Go home, Detective. I will speak to you tomorrow." When she could do so without yelling at him. When she wasn't so tempted to shake him. When she could look at him without feeling the terrible, heavy knot thickening in her chest. Sharon stepped around him and strode toward her office. She left him standing there, looking a bit like a wounded boy, and couldn't seem to feel sorry about it. Not tonight. Tonight she was just too furious with him. She was just too hurt.

He lost his hold on his temper. He let it control him. In doing that, in using his fists to make his point to their suspect, he put the whole case in jeopardy. More than that, he risked the life of her son. If Markos Christakis had actually known of Stroh's location, or anything that could lead them to him, then by trying to beat him unconscious, or worse, Julio had put that information in danger. As it turned out, Christakis couldn't help them, but they hadn't known that at the time. Julio hadn't known that. He attacked the man anyway.

She tried to help him. She took a chance on him. He disappointed her by giving in to his anger again. More than that, she couldn't ignore the chance that he had taken with Rusty's life. She was just in no fit shape to comment on that now. It was doubtful she would comment on it tomorrow.

For now, Sharon couldn't look at him. She would forgive him. She would do her best to save his job, because in the end they couldn't do without him. In the end, she cared too much to cast him aside. Right now, she was going to be angry, and she was going to be disappointed, and Julio was just going to have to deal with that. Tonight those were the consequences for his actions.

Her office door clicked and creaked quietly as she opened it. Rusty was still leaning back in his chair. He was still sleeping quietly. She let the door close quietly behind her and stood there. She watched him. She hated to wake him. In sleep, he could forget the horror. He could forget the fear. But the frown that was etched into his brow, even now, told her that he couldn't. No more than the rest of them. She folded her lips together and crossed the room. She was tempted, as she always was, to smooth his hair away from his brow. Usually she could suppress that temptation. He wasn't comfortable when she became too overly affectionate, even now. He was getting better, they both were. The boundaries were blurring.

He was her son, and she was his mother, and that was something to hold on to. Another wave of warmth in a day that was filled with too much cold darkness. She gave in to the feeling. Her fingers brushed across his brow, smoothed the light colored locks away from his forehead. As he stirred, the backs of her fingers traced the curve of his cheek before she let her hand fall to rest against his shoulder. "Rusty." She watched his lashes flutter, then his eyes slowly blinked open. There was a time when he would have startled awake, gone stiff on her. Now he simply lifted his head and looked up at her, disoriented at first, but then it cleared, and he just looked as tired as she felt. "It's time to go home."

Rusty nodded. He stretched in his chair and slowly pulled himself up. "Sorry. I didn't mean to doze off again." Sleeping in the office wasn't exactly restful. He didn't know how they did it as often as they did. He rolled his shoulders and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans while he watched her, moving around her office, gathering her things. "Any luck, you know, finding him?"

"No." It was a bit mournful sounding, and she was sorry for that, but it couldn't be helped. "We'll look again tomorrow. For now everyone is just too exhausted. We're not giving up." Sharon looked over at him as she pulled her purse from her desk. She offered a small smile. "Are you hungry?"

"I can always eat." Rusty shrugged at her. No, she wouldn't give up. She would keep looking until she found him. They all would. That was just Sharon. That was just her team. "I don't think I'm really hungry, though. I think I just want to fall into my bed or maybe take a hot shower where there aren't guys waiting for me right outside the door."

How he managed that to sound so awkward and amusing at the same time, Sharon didn't know. She chuckled quietly. She shrugged into her coat and pulled her purse over her shoulder. He was right, a bed and a shower sounded really good. She wasn't particularly hungry either, even the thought of food made her stomach clench. There was so much more that she wanted to say to him. She wanted to plea and to argue and enforce her will, but Rusty made his point very clear. She would try again tomorrow. When she wasn't tempted to cry and plead or stomp her foot.

Rusty seemed intent to exist in a place where he wasn't looking over his shoulder. Tonight she would let him. This was her son, and he was so very adored. She would be what he needed, despite how much it hurt. It was the reality of being a parent. Until you were one, you could never know how much it cost to pretend that the world wasn't filled with danger and darkness. So Sharon's eyes sparkled at him, with much more humor than she felt. "Even when they're really cute guys?"

He groaned, even while he blushed. He looked away and twisted where he stood. Then he cast a look at her through his lashes. "How do you always know everything. God Sharon!" Rusty huffed and rolled his eyes. He looked toward the ceiling and shuffled his feet where he stood. "It's like I've got invisible ink written on my forehead that only you can see. Red alert, Sharon. Red alert! Rusty has a crush."

She snorted a quiet laugh. There was a more genuine bubble of amusement that rose through her at his reaction. What he couldn't know was just how truly happy she was to see him reacting to situations in a way that was so completely normal. Having a crush, even when it was on the wrong person, was human, and normal, and exactly the kind of thing he should be worrying about at this stage in his life. He had come a long way, her boy. She was pleased with it. It thrilled her, to watch him blush and smile, and stammer in those situations.

"Rusty." Sharon shook her head at him. She smiled, and it was a look filled with abject adoration. It warmed her, these moments with him, more than he could know. This was her solace, this was the balm to her aching heart. This, he, was her reason for continuing to fight, even when terror threatened to stay her. There were words she wanted to say to him, but they got stuck in her throat. She wanted to tell him just how precious he was to her, but he knew that. Of course he did. He was smart, this son of hers, and she told him in other ways. She showed him, daily, just how much he meant to her. Now she just smiled and walked toward the door. "I don't know why it is that you insist on believing that you are the only teenager I have ever had the pleasure of raising. I keep telling you, I've done this before."

"Oh." Rusty stopped beside the door. He looked at her and blinked. He lifted his bag from the chair it had been resting in and pulled the strap over his shoulder. "You mean, those people who were here a couple of weeks ago weren't just actors that you hired to pretend to be my siblings?"

Sharon rolled her eyes at him. He was going to be cheeky now. She pulled open the door and pointed. "Out, Beckin."

"Sure. Mom." But he tossed a look at her as he moved through the door, and there was a small smile playing at his lips. Rusty trudged ahead of her. "So, if they weren't actors, we've got to talk. I'm kind of worried about the guy… It's the hair, you see."

"Yes." Sharon agreed with him completely on that subject. "I've done what I can. He's stubborn." She pulled the door closed behind her and took a moment to glance around the Murder Room. Amy was gone, so was Tao. Provenza was waiting. He wouldn't leave until she did. Andy was waiting for them. He was leaning on the edge of his desk, but as they appeared, he stood.

"Stubborn. Really." Rusty turned and waited for her. "I can't imagine where that came from."

There was a slight sparkle in his dim eyes. Sharon made a face at him. Then she smiled, much too sweetly. "I can tell you, if you'd like to really discuss it."

"I'll pass." Rusty smirked. He knew when to push, and he knew exactly when to retreat. Rule number one, don't piss mom off. He knew that one way before Ricky ever clued him in. He watched Flynn move along beside her. Rusty's brows rose, but he didn't comment. Not directly at least. "So like, I can drive, if you're too tired."

"I've got it covered." Andy felt like snorting at the kid. He was smooth, but he wasn't always so subtle. As he fell in step beside her, Andy looked down at Sharon. "I had patrol take Rusty's car home. I'll take you home in yours," he said quietly. He could come back for his later, or take a cab to work in the morning.

Sharon smiled, gratefully, up at him. "Are you sure that you don't mind?" She had to ask, even if they had already, more or less, settled the matter.

"Nah." Andy shrugged at her. "It's alright, Sharon. I don't mind." He tossed a look at her, managed a crooked smile, despite his own fatigue and worry. "I like your car better anyway. Seat warmers."

Rusty let them pass him. He followed along behind. He rolled his eyes and managed, somehow, not to groan again. He wondered, not for the first time, if they could be anymore obvious. How could they not know, all this time, that they were, like, totally a couple? Oh sure, they weren't dating. They weren't dating in the same way that Provenza wasn't grumpy. Under his breath, and because he knew that Sharon would get it, Rusty muttered quietly, "Red alert, red alert…"

She tossed a narrow-eyed look back at him. Sharon sniffed, a bit delicately, at Rusty's teasing. She knew exactly what he thought of them. He made that obvious. Whether she was willing to acknowledge it, or not, was a different matter. There were aspects of her life that were not any of his concern. This was quite definitely one of them. To Andy, she said more sincerely, "Well my car and I, and Rusty, appreciate your kindness."

"Totally." Rusty smiled serenely as he followed them. If the situation was different, and he wasn't feeling quite like the world was closing in on him, he thought he might skip around singing, My mom's got a boyfriend, my mom's got a boyfriend… Well, okay, he definitely would not do that, but he would think about it. Sharon didn't think that he knew that she thought it was just so cute when he had a crush. Rusty thought it was kind of cute too, that she had one. Maybe more than a crush.

Andy shook his head at them. The kid was giving her grief. She was allowing it. He looked from Rusty to Sharon and fought the urge to smile. Normal. They were pretending to be normal. It seemed to be what they both needed at present. He could go along with that. "Did you want to stop anywhere on the way?" Andy let his attention move back to Sharon. "We can grab something to eat…"

He didn't look anymore tempted by it than she or Rusty were. Sharon shook her head at him. "No, thank you. I think we'd both just like to go home. I'm not sure that I could stay awake long enough to eat."

"Yeah." Andy kind of felt the same way. When they reached the elevator, he hit the button. They lapsed into silence, and that was just fine with him. Just fine with them, too, from the look of it.

They rode the elevator down in silence. There was little else to be said. At least presently. Any conversations which might be needed had no place being held in the elevator, nor the lobby. When they reached her car, Sharon passed her keys to Andy and felt something like pleasure when he held the front passenger door open for her. Simple things, she reminded herself. As she sank into the seat, a sigh escaped her. The soft leather settled beneath her and she was reminded just how much her body was aching at present. Sharon tipped her head back against the headrest and let her eyes close. On the driver's side, she heard the door opening, felt the shift in the car as Andy folded his body behind the wheel. Behind her, there was Rusty. His knee bumped against her seat as he got settled. Both of their doors closed.

Sharon kept her eyes closed and let a small smile curve her lips. They were insulated in the car. It was another safe place. Sharon felt herself relax, at least a little bit. She pushed back the terror that wanted to take hold of her at the idea of taking Rusty away from all of the officers and security inside the Police Administration Building. For just a moment the cold fingers of panic tried to wrap themselves around her heart, but she felt a hand brush hers. Sharon's eyes fluttered open. She rolled her head against the seat and found Andy watching her, concern in his dark eyes. She smiled gently at him and let her fingers slide along his in an answering touch. They drew apart, but it was enough to assure him that she was okay, at least for now. If he wondered why they were leaving the office without anymore security than themselves, he wasn't asking. He would, and she would tell him. Until then, she turned her head away from him, allowed her eyes to close again. It wouldn't take long to reach her condo, but she would rest until then.

Andy made the drive in silence. It didn't really surprise him when she seemed to be asleep before they left downtown. She was exhausted, worn down and stretched thin. He continued to watch her from the corner of his eye. Every so often, a line would form between her brows and her lips would thin. Her breathing was regular enough, but it seemed that, even while she napped, her mind was torturing her with all of the possibilities that lay head of them where Stroh was concerned. Andy glanced into the rearview mirror. Rusty had his chin in his hand, while his elbow rested against the passenger door. He was watching the city as it passed them. He too was pensive, worried. Andy wondered how much more they would be expected to endure, if it would ever end.

His hands tightened around the steering wheel as emotion churned inside him. His instinct was to protect her, but she wouldn't allow it. She would insist on taking care of herself, she always did. That didn't mean that he had to like it. No, he hated the hell out of all of it, but short of pitching a sleeping bag outside her door, and keeping her in sight every second of the day, Andy couldn't see a way of actually making it happen. The very nature of their jobs put them in danger every day, so it wasn't exactly feasible. He could think about it, though, and think about it he did. He could satisfy himself with that much at least.

Those were the thoughts that occupied his mind as they drove across town. He pushed them aside when they reached Sharon's condo. Andy parked her car in its usual spot, beside Rusty's waiting vehicle. After he cut the engine, and while Rusty was letting himself out of the car, Andy reached across and touched her hand again. "Sharon."

She stirred quietly. Her eyes opened and blinked tiredly at him. She looked around them, at the familiar structure of her parking garage and nodded. She busied herself with gathering her purse while he got out of the car. He would come around and open her door, she knew. Just as he always did. Sharon smiled when he did not disappoint her. As she slid out of the car, every muscle in her body ached. She felt a headache stirring at the lack of sleep.

Her eyes scanned the parking garage as they walked. Rusty was ahead of them, already waiting by the lobby door. He wouldn't enter, not without her. He remembered that much from last year, at least. Tension knotted her shoulders even more. A hand settled against her back, light, hardly touching her at all and yet she appreciated it anyway.

The silence surrounding them might have made him antsy in the past. Rusty didn't mind it so much now. Everyone was just tired. There was a lot on their minds. So Rusty really wasn't bothered when nothing was said as they made their way upstairs. Once they were actually inside the condo, Sharon seemed to relax a bit. She was going to be like this for a while, he knew. Rusty looked at her, with her shoulders slumped and seeming to move as though she were picking her way through water.

"I'm going to go and take that shower," he announced. "Then I'm going to fall into bed. Good night, Sharon." He started down the hall and then stopped. "Um, thank you," he added, and looked at the Lieutenant, "For driving us home." Even if he totally could have handled it. Rusty didn't say that, though. If it was just a ride he was giving them, he wouldn't have walked them up, and he wouldn't have come inside, and he wouldn't be standing in the middle of the living room with Sharon looking like they both wanted to say something and were waiting. "Good night," he said again, and beat a hasty retreat. Like he told Nicole, he might be living in the middle of all this, but he didn't have to witness it all.

"Good night, Rusty." Sharon spoke quietly, but knew that he would hear her. A bed sounded wonderful at the moment, but she dropped her purse on a table near the sofa and walked around to let her body follow suit against the cushions. A groan was pulled from her as she sank into the familiar softness. Sharon leaned her head back and let her body go a bit slack. Only now that she was home, well within the security of her own walls, did she reach down and tug at the gun holster attached to her belt. She pulled at it, and her badge, and placed them on the cushion beside her. She hadn't even the energy to reach out and put them in her purse. "I'm sorry," She said softly. Sharon's head rolled against the back of the couch and she looked at Andy. "There's coffee, but…"

"It's okay." He walked over and leaned down. He picked up her gun and the badge and lay them on the table beside her purse. Then he sat down on the sofa beside her. "I know my way around. I don't really think I could drink anymore that stuff anyway. At this point I've got more caffeine in my veins than blood." He leaned back on the sofa, and although he didn't voice it, his body appreciated the comfort it provided. His aching back particularly liked it. Andy lifted his arm against the back of the sofa, stretched it out behind her. He slanted a look at her and grinned a bit. "Come here."

She didn't need to be told twice. Sharon reached down and lowered the zipper on her boots. She tugged them off before drawing her legs up and curling them beneath her, even as she leaned sideways and into the solid warmth beside her. Her head settled against his shoulder while his arm curled around her. She sighed softly and let herself relax against him. She drew her knees close and let them rest against his thigh. A little tremor ran through her but she turned her face into his neck and inhaled. She could still pick out the familiar scent of his aftershave, even as she felt the tickle against her cheek that told her that he hadn't shaved in too long.

She felt his hand in her hair again. Her eyes drifted closed. He pushed her hair away from her neck and his fingers settled there, stroking the base of her skull. It helped, both the ache in her head and the tension knotting her neck and shoulders. Her hand settled against his chest and again stroked the length of his tie before she let her arm drape across his middle. Sharon hummed quietly. She should send him home, and then she should find her own bed, but she couldn't be bothered to move. Even as tired as she was, this was far more comforting than her cold and lonely bed would be.

"He refused the security detail," she said, speaking quietly, voice thick with both exhaustion and emotion. By now she knew that Rusty was closed up in the bathroom. "He won't allow me to arrange any extra protection. He said he isn't going to live his life in a prison of Phillip Stroh's making."

Andy frowned. He leaned his head against hers and sighed. He could understand the kid's reasoning, even if they didn't like it. It wasn't fair. In no world was it right that Stroh could walk around completely free while they had to live a life of fear. It only made him want to catch that dirtbag all the more. "What are you going to do?" It was voiced quietly, but seemed to rumble in the silent room.

"I don't know." It was whispered and miserable sounding. Sharon shook her head. She shrugged. "What can I do? I can't follow him around every minute of every day. I can't handcuff him to me. He's right, Andy. He deserves to live his life. It's a life he's fought for. This is what he has worked so hard for. I can't take that away from him now, when he's finally achieving it." Her voice hitched and she broke off. She pressed her lips together when they trembled.

"It's hard letting them go," he said. His fingers combed through her hair. His other hand settled against hers. Their fingers twined together and Andy tipped his head back. His neck ached, but he ignored it. Rusty wasn't moving out, but he was making a stand. He was, in a way, leaving the nest that she created for him. Metaphorically speaking. Every moment of every day of the last couple of years had been about keeping Rusty safe. She built a cocoon for him, and now he was breaking out of it. He was spreading his wings. He wasn't ready to fly yet, but he was definitely a step closer.

"Yes." It was such kaleidoscope of emotions that she felt. She couldn't seem to turn off her protective instincts, but at the same time, she was so very proud of him. "Rusty is only doing what I've taught him," she murmured, "but it still feels…"

"Like you're failing him somehow, because you can't protect him." Sometimes Andy wondered if he knew her too well. She brought Rusty to this moment, and it was because of her that he found this strength, the courage to stand on his own convictions in light of so much darkness. Given the potential for danger, he knew that she was regretting it, just a bit, and only because she loved that kid so damned much. "The thing is," Andy continued, "we can never protect them all of the time." He snorted quietly, chuckled a bit, but without any real mirth. It was similar to what he was thinking earlier.

"What?" Sharon lifted her head and looked at him. Her brows drew together. She studied him, but couldn't find the humor in it.

"Nothing. Just…" Andy shook his head at her. He grinned, somewhat sheepishly. "I was just thinking a little while ago that… I know you, and I was kinda wishing it was possible for me to camp outside your door and keep an eye on you. If Stroh turns up, if he makes a move on Rusty, you'll put yourself between them and it won't matter what happens to you. You'll fall down on that sword and not think twice about it, and I don't like it. But I guess I kind of have to deal with it, because I can't keep an eye on you every second."

"Oh." That startled her a bit. It wasn't what she was expecting. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth. Warmth and delight warred with the cold reality that his words created. She felt the stirrings of a smile. Sharon continued to watch his eyes, he was staring at her, and the intensity in his gaze both surprised her and warmed her through. Here they were, and she was practically sitting in the man's lap, and yet she could still be astonished by the direction their relationship seemed to be going. The awareness of it all was still so new, even if they didn't feel new. It all felt just as it always had.

She enjoyed his presence, she looked forward to their time together, and she was fond of him. So very, very fond. It was more than that though, and the truth was, she knew now that she was falling for him. That was a truth that she probably would have worked out for herself in time, but now it was made clear. He was waiting for her to acknowledge it and terrified that she would at the same time. He realized it, long before she did, at least his side of it. He was content to wait, and for that she would always be thankful. From the very beginning they were drawn together, and while she couldn't say where they would end up or how, at least now they were both headed in the same direction and at the same time.

Still, there was so much happening in her life at present. She was feeling so many things, but at the end of all of it, he was here and so was she, and she took comfort in that. She took comfort in him, in the simplicity of it. In knowing that he was there for her, however she needed. Her thumb stroked the side of his hand, where their fingers were joined. Sharon lay her head against his shoulder again.

"So what you're telling me is," she said quietly, "I should just deal with the fact that I can't protect Rusty every second?"

"Not when you put it like that." The fingers of his other hand combed through her hair again. He sighed as she relaxed against him once more. "Basically, I'm telling you that Rusty is right. We're not going to stop trying to find that bastard, but we can't live our lives like he's waiting to jump out of the bushes. Rusty wants to go back to school, right? So let him. He's not dumb, he'll be as careful as he can be, but if we hunker down and start jumping at shadows, then Stroh wins. That's not something I'm ready to let happen. In no way does that son of a bitch get to win. I don't care where he is. So you live, and you worry, because I know you're going to, and you enjoy all the moments in between. You keep watchin' that kid turn into the man that you know he's going to be, and I'll keep watching your back, and it will be okay. Somehow, we'll make it okay."

He surprised her again. Maybe that was why this all seemed to work so well, despite all of the odds and everything that seemed stacked against them. Their pasts, their jobs, and their fears. At least, she thought that it was working. It seemed plausible enough. It felt right. Not in that, if it feels good do it, sort of way. It just felt right. Whether he was right for her, or she was right for him, or it was just a matter of them being right for each other, she was too tired to suss out, but it was a fact that she couldn't deny. They had seen each other at their ugliest. They knew all of the bad, and even some of the nasty. There was still much that remained that they needed to learn about each other, and they would, in time. For now, she knew enough, more than enough, to know that pressing forward was the right decision to make. This, it was a light, in all of the darkness that surrounded them. A beacon in the night.

Sharon smiled against his neck. "We?" She lifted her head again. Her eyes were shining.

He gazed back at her. Andy shrugged. "Yeah. Why not?" He let go of her hand and reached up and to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. His finger stroked the line of her jaw. "We ain't turning out to be so bad." It was still kinda new, and he wondered if she would dig her heels in, back away. She didn't seem to want to, but he was still a little careful with her. Hell, he was careful with himself. This could all blow up in their faces and he had the added benefit of his partner's voice in the back of his head chanting don't screw it up, don't screw it up.

"No." Sharon said quietly. "I suppose that it isn't." She shifted against him, sat up a bit, and rested her arm against his shoulder. Her fingers touched his jaw. She felt the stubble, it tickled her fingertips. "How tired are you?"

Andy sighed. "I'm not going to lie to you. I was thinking about asking if you'd mind me crashing out right here." He didn't think he had it in him to move again. He could call a cab, but it was the act of going downstairs and waiting for it that seemed so daunting.

The backs of her fingers brushed his cheek. He was just as exhausted as she was, and she felt guilty for having let him bring her home. She could have arranged another ride for herself and Rusty. A cab could have just as easily brought them home. She wouldn't have her car in the morning, and for that she was grateful, but she wasn't the only one operating on too little sleep. Sharon leaned down, her lips brushed his. Not their first kiss, not at this stage in the game, but she kept it light, kept it simple. "Come on." Her body protested every movement that she made, but Sharon stood up. She held out a hand for him. "You can stay, but I'm not making you sleep out here. I like you too much to make you deal with the pain it will cause your back."

He looked at her hand and then at her. Andy shook his head. "Sharon…" It was all that he could say. Sharing a bed was not a line that they had crossed. Not yet, anyway. They both seemed to be on board with seeing where a relationship between them could go, and yeah, okay, he wasn't a saint. He'd had his hands and his mouth on her, just a few days ago, actually and he enjoyed the hell out of that. So had she, but they were being careful with this thing. Just because he felt more comfortable touching her now didn't mean that he was keen on taking advantage of the situation.

She rolled her eyes at him. He could be so adorably clueless. One of many things she liked about him. "You know, I think at this point in our lives, we can both sleep in a bed and not worry about being pawed by the other party. I'm too tired to entertain any thoughts beyond sleeping, and I don't care what they say about your reputation, so are you."

Andy made a face at her. "It's all exaggerated, I swear." Then he shrugged, offered a bit of a grin. "Okay, mostly exaggerated." He looked at her hand again and sighed. "Alright. But I'm holding you to that. I like you and all, but I'm just not in the mood sweetheart." He pulled himself up, his back protested, his knees popped. Goddamn he felt old.

Sharon slapped his arm, lightly, teasing. He made her smile and that was the point, but she made a face at him as she turned. It broke the awkwardness of the moment, and that was his intent. Andy Flynn, her own personal, adorable, goofball. Yes, she was falling for him. She wouldn't be able to deny it now, even if she wanted to. He might be exactly what she needed, and only time would really tell, but he was also exactly what she wanted.

Sharon took his hand in hers and gave it a tug. She pulled him with her down the hall. They could hear the shower running. Rusty was taking full advantage of his first, completely solitary moment in days. She couldn't blame him for that. Sharon led the way into her bedroom. The bed looked so good in that moment that she almost wept at the sight of it. Before she could take another step forward, she was pulled back. His arm circled her waist from behind. He nuzzled at her neck. She sighed quietly and lay her arms over his, relaxed against him. Simple things, she thought again, like being held and knowing that there was nothing else expected of her but this.

Comfort and sanctuary. Those were the things that they could offer each other tonight. Simple and profound. Nothing and everything all at once. She stood in the circle of his arms for a moment longer. When she moved away, he let her. Sharon crossed the room and opened her closet. She stepped inside of it and pushed a few items aside. When she reappeared, she held a clean t-shirt and a pair of sweats. "Ricky," she said by way of explanation. "He always forgets something. He left these in the laundry at Christmas." She would never dream of offering him anything that had once belonged to Jack, and nothing of Rusty's would fit him. Besides which, any possessions that she had left of Jack's had been tossed out in the garbage.

"Yeah." It was the first thing he thought of when he saw them. He knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't bring her ex-husband into their relationship. Not even to offer something he'd discarded long ago. The only thing that once belonged to Jack that Andy wanted was her, but then, he didn't suppose she had ever belonged to him at all. He took a step forward, Andy accepted the bundle of clothes from her. His head lowered, and his lips were soft against hers.

Her lips curved into a smile beneath his. Her fingers touched his jaw. She hummed quietly before she stepped away. "Bathroom through there," She nodded to the closed door beside her closet. "Go ahead, I'll be back." Although she was operating under so very little steam at the moment, Sharon made the trip back to the living room to retrieve her purse, to make sure the door was locked, and secure her weapon for the night.

They took turns in the bathroom. By the time Sharon was changed and folding down the covers of her bed, she heard Rusty leave the other bathroom and step into his own room. She relaxed a bit. He would lock his door, he would be safe. Tonight she would hold on to that, and tomorrow she would begin the process of accepting the fact that she could not protect him forever.

As she settled into bed, Sharon wondered at all of the different ways that she could make him safe without providing a security detail. It would be worth thinking about, and she made a mental note to do that, when her mind was capable of functioning at that level again. For now, as she got comfortable on her side of the bed, facing the windows and the city beyond, she reached back. Her hand curled around his arm and she drew it around her, even as she slid closer to him. His chest settled against her back and she felt them both relax, heard his sigh join hers.

His lips moved against her ear. They were old enough to know that they would end up laying here, feeling awkward, if they didn't just give in to what they both wanted. He wanted to hold her, apparently she wanted to be held. "So much for not pawing at me," he rumbled quietly.

Her fingers stroked the length of his forearm, and finally settled atop his hand. Her eyes were already closed, but she smiled. Yes, he was her own personal sarcastic, adorable Andy. She said nothing, but let his warmth surround her. As sleep neared, she found she couldn't completely shut off the workings of her mind. "We had him," she whispered. "Andy. We had him."

"I know." His hand splayed against her stomach, stroked gently through the soft cotton of the sleep shirt she wore. He pressed his lips against her neck. "We'll get him again."

"You don't know that." In the dark, it seemed her fear was intent to return.

"I do." When he felt her tremble, he pulled her closer. His leg moved and settled over both of hers, so that she was completely surrounded by him. "We got him once, we'll do it again. We're not going to give up. We're not letting him go."

He sounded so sure of that. Sharon chose to believe in it. She trembled again. "I may have to fire Julio." Her other fear. The one she didn't want to think about at all.

She was pissed as hell at him, but he heard the pain in that statement. She would rail at him, but she would fight for him. That was Sharon. "Then you fire him," he said simply, because he knew that it would only be a last resort. "He knows he screwed up. Do what you have to do, Sharon."

She relaxed more fully against him, let another soft sigh pass her lips. "Andy." Her fingers stroked his arm again. She shook her head when the words wouldn't come. They were stuck in her throat. Sharon wasn't even sure that she knew what she wanted to say. He was important to her and she was glad that he was there, but there was so much more that she felt needed to be said. She had simply lost the ability to form real words. It saddened her, until she felt his arms tighten around her.

"I know." His thumb stroked her stomach in gentle circles. "Me too." Andy thought he knew what she wanted to say. It was hanging in the air between them, but there was time enough for that. "Sleep," he said, because he was moments from it himself. Neither of them would be making a whole lot of sense soon, and he was down to one or two word replies.

"Tomorrow." She promised him. She would say what needed to be said. Her eyes closed and she settled again. Sleep was pressing in on her, it was a thick blanket of fatigue that was wrapping around her, drawing her under. She let it.

Tomorrow she would do all of the things that were left waiting for her. This, however, this she would gladly greet with the morning. She would wrap all of the darkness, and all of the pain, and all of the many hard things still laying in front of them in the hope and delight that filled her with such warmth. In the simple things that made life so much better. That was the reality that she needed. He was the reality that she wanted. Tomorrow she would tell him that.

~FIN