RNM 17

"Do you have any idea how much you've inconvenienced me?"

"Well, uh, …" Lorelai, who had opened the door after the person had knocked and rang the doorbell and complained vociferously the whole time.

"You're not Rory Gilmore." Paris cocked her head in displeasure.

"No, I'm her mother." Preoccupied with thoughts of the rapidly-approaching temporary custody case, Lorelai had answered the door while still looking for a lawyer in the phone book.

"Well? Where is she?"

"Who? Rory? She's not here."

"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about. I bet this is your fault."

"Is what my fault?"

"Rory isn't home studying like she should be. She's gallivanting around, almost certainly with that rube of a boyfriend. Do you know what happens to teenagers when they are unsupervised?"

"Uh, yeah. Gallivanting."

"It's evident that you never took an SAT practice vocabulary test."

It finally dawned on Lorelai who this was. "Paris," she breathed. Looking across the front yard, Lorelai saw Rory coming home from Lane's. Rory stopped, eyes wide as she recognized her arch enemy and began waving her arms wildly at her mother to prevent her from saying anything.

"Oh, look, there's Rory now," said Lorelai smugly.

Rory glared at her mother as Paris turned around, then leapt off the front porch to confront Rory.

"Gilmore! What's this I hear about you dropping out of Chilton?" she demanded.

"Chilton sucks, journalism sucks, you suck." Rory tried to brush past Paris, but she stayed with her as she moved onto the grass.

"Not good enough reasons to quit."

"Well it worked for me. I'm out and I'm happy." She looked around trying to find another escape route.

"Why are you giving up journalism?" demanded Paris.

"Because I hate the foreign correspondent job. It's filthy, miserable and you have no control over your stories. And those are just the highlights from my pro-con list."

"Show me the list."

Rory pulled the crumpled paper from her jacket pocket. She shook out the paper which had been made soft by her countless reviews and additions.

Paris scanned the document. "Drunken louts, story control, Paris, …" She pierced Rory with her glare. "Why am I on the con list? I'm your best motivator. Think about the parking lot story. You were successful because I created the opportunity."

"Uh, no. My best motivators are my dreams of what I want to be someday. You are a big pain in the patootie."

Paris shoved the paper back in Rory's hands. "Ah. You don't understand. I see now why you quit. You're not part of the group."

"Not being part of the group was the best thing about Chilton. I hated those people. They were so mean." Rory was absolutely certain of her decision when it came to the other students.

"Yeah, you're wrong. They aren't mean. We've been going to the same school since we were 10. Everyone understands how things work at Chilton. Everyone except you."

She buttoned her jacket, which had come open when she ran to confront Rory.

"We've known each other so long that it never occurred to us that you didn't know. We're actually a team, but it's a team that also competes internally. We fight and bicker, but when it comes to getting projects done or sharing notes, or getting revenge on bad teachers, we stick together."

"So this horrible treatment, with the 'Mary' business and all of the bullying, was all done in fun?"

"Not fun so much as just bickering. We know that getting into the universities is a crapshoot once you've done the basics of good grades and the right connections. So we poke each other and push each other to make us stronger."

"God! It doesn't look that way to an outsider. And it's a horrible way to live."

"I see that now, and I understand why you aren't staying. That's too bad, though, I really wanted you around for the competition. You kept me on my toes."

Paris thumped Rory gently on the shoulder, then looked a little shy. "You know, if you should ever decide to come back, I can show you the ropes."

Rory was moved by Paris' offer. Not enough to change her mind, but she appreciated the gesture. "Um, well, thanks, Paris."

Paris began walking to her car. She turned around, adding, "That would be of course right before I stomped your peaches and cream face into the mud."

"Oh sure. I wouldn't expect anything less from you," replied Rory as she waved Paris off.

Lorelai was desperate. Christopher demanded custody of Rory – absurd! They had less than three weeks to get prepared and she still didn't have a lawyer. Her mother had something to do with it, she was certain. Emily had gone into silent mode, neither answering nor returning Lorelai's phone calls. Rory was dealing with it better than she could imagine. Luke's rants had subsided after about a day and he went into helpful more, but they remained stuck. No strategy. No lawyer.

She'd been obsessing about this for days, with every idea falling apart almost as soon as it was spoken. Sleep was a foreigner to her, often searching the internet late into the night and waking Luke at odd hours to discuss one idea or another. Today, after a fitful few hours of sleep, hunger overcame her and she dashed to Doose's, still dressed in her worst sweat pants and most unflattering shirt, a curious combination of pink and peach.

"Junk food is just what I need right now," she muttered to herself as she entered the grocery store. She tugged on the ponytail keeping her unkempt hair relatively under control.

She ran her finger along the boxes on the shelves as she pondered her purchase. "Pop Tarts, no, Lucky Charms, no, Twinkies, maybe, Oh! Oh! There it is! The perfect solution! Spray cheese!"

Not waiting to check out, she grabbed a can, popped off the plastic top and began spraying the over-processed, guaranteed to disgust Luke, artificially colored cheese product directly into her mouth.

She was palpating the gooey mass in her mouth when someone tapped on her shoulder.

"Lorelai, you do plan to purchase that, am I right?" asked Taylor archly.

"Bub bourse, Baylor," she mumbled through the mouthful of cheese. She swallowed. "Just need to find some Ritz Crackers to go with them."

"Aisle 3, top shelf next to the White Lily flour," he said curtly. "And don't think of pulling a box from the back of the shelf. Take the first box on the shelf. I won't have you jumping date codes. First in, first out, I always say."

Lorelai ignored him and ran over to the next aisle to grab the crackers. Choosing a box with a recent date code was irrelevant because she knew the crackers wouldn't last out the day anyway. If she and Rory hadn't polished them off by the end of the day, Luke would have his favorite evening snack of peanut butter and crackers.

Taylor cut her off on her way to the checkout by going around the other way. "Lorelai, I'm not finished with you yet," he reprimanded.

"What do you need, Taylor? I've got to get back to finding an ambulance chaser." She proudly pulled her T-shirt out straight so Taylor could read the joke. "Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy."

"That's exactly why I want to talk to you, Lorelai. Let me introduce you to the firm which handles my legal matters."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. Everyone in this town knew of the custody suit, thanks to Kirk, his job as a process server, his utter lack of a 'proper behavior' filter and his tendency to eavesdrop on her conversations with Rory and Luke.

"Sure, Taylor, fine. Write down the information and give it to me and I'll contact them."

Taylor smirked. "No need, let me introduce you to my lawyer, Nicole Leahy." He stepped to the side as a beautiful strawberry blonde woman moved closer, holding out her hand.

"Hello, Ms. Gilmore," said Nicole in a businesslike manner. "We have a very experienced team of lawyers who specialize in child custody. I would love to understand your situation so that I can work with them on a proposal."

Lorelai looked Nicole up and down. The slender lawyer was dressed impeccably in an obviously expensive suit, had a perfect sleek bob, and wore designer shoes that Lorelai practically drooled over.

Normally Lorelai would have felt uncomfortable, given her unkempt state. She prided herself on pulling together sexy, fashionable outfits that compared favorably in every way to Nicole's city sophistication, especially in cost. On an average day she could measure her success by the number of secret peeks Luke took at her legs. On a spectacular day she exercised her powers of stupefaction, leaving poor Luke and the male half of Stars Hollow unable to put words into sentences in a sensible way.

Today was neither spectacular nor average. Her sweat pants flapped loosely against her ankles and her shoes had seen better days. The shoes had also seen a few painting sessions.

None of this mattered to Lorelai Gilmore at this moment. She grasped Nicole's hand and shook it firmly. Shoving her purchases into Taylor's arms, she said, "put it on my tab, Ok?"

Turning back to Nicole, she led the way out of the market, growling, "Let's get some coffee and figure out how to drop a giant anvil on this rat bastard."

Nicole followed her, happily anticipating spending the finder's fee she would get from the child custody department on a new pair of Manolo Blahniks.

Taylor was left at the cash register, impotently telling his niece Bonnie, "We don't run tabs at Doose's Market. Cash only."

Luke stared stupidly out the window as the beautiful woman crossed the street, obviously headed in his direction. He managed to place the loaded plates he carried on the correct table, even though none of his customers received the correct plate. He then took two long strides to open the door for her, managing to give her a grin as she came through the door. A moment after that he realized that the beautiful woman wasn't alone, there was also a lady in a suit following behind.

Nicole and Lorelai took seats at an empty table in the center of the room, Nicole carefully pulling her leather-bound notebook and Waterman fountain pen out of her elegant briefcase. Lorelai occupied herself by pulling scrap after scrap of crumpled paper out of her pockets.

As Lorelai sorted her notes out, Nicole glanced around the room, her attention diverted by Luke bending over to pick up some napkins carelessly dropped by Kirk right before he left a few minutes earlier. This town is even more scenic that I thought.

She assessed him appraisingly as he moved behind the counter and started a fresh pot of coffee for Lorelai. She liked what she saw. A bit of a haircut, a decent shirt, and he wouldn't be half bad.

As Luke waited for the pot to brew, he reached into a box on the low shelf underneath the counter and pulled out a piece of wood. He sighed as he inspected the prototype of the goat he was carving for the chuppah. "Looks more like a possum than a goat, dammit," he muttered to himself. "Back to the drawing board." He dropped the prototype (number four of what would be a long line of test goats) back into the box.

When he delivered two cups of coffee a few minutes later, he nodded at Nicole, nearly smiling. She smiled widely back and batted her eyes as she watched him smoothly put a spoonful of sugar into a still-distracted Lorelai's cup, then slid the sugar and creamer over to Nicole. Thoughtful, takes care of what must certainly be a regular customer. Definitely going to hang around here for a little flirting after this meeting.

Nicole passed up no opportunity to give him a friendly, yet come-hither look as Luke bustled around the diner performing his usual tasks.

Lorelai cried, "Hah! That's it!" and launched into a summary of the custody case. Nicole, pleased at the thought of bringing this case to the firm, and hoping to cut one more notch in her 'want to become the next partner' belt, listened attentively. Ever the multi-tasker, she kept her eye on the tall, dark and handsome scenery.

Before she knew it, Luke was at their table again, this time depositing a plate of muffins and donuts. This was enough to take Lorelai momentarily out of her discussion, and she looked up at him and smiled her thanks. He ran his hand over her shoulder and gave her neck a momentary massage. Lorelai reached up, covered his hand with hers and said, "Thanks, doll." She kissed his hand briefly before turning back to Nicole.

Nicole's flirty smile turned to a thin-lipped businesslike grin as she changed her game plan with a touch of regret. Back to the career goals.

The one thing Lorelai was grateful for with the custody hearing was that Rory would not be there. The primary reason was school, but Lorelai did not want her to witness the animosity sure to arise as the petition was decided.

Luke had driven off to park the car while Lorelai went inside the courthouse to reconnoiter and find coffee. With Nicole's and her law partner's help, she had prepared all the documentation they had deemed necessary, from her financial statements to her best recollection of Christopher's visits and support over the years.

"This is going to be quickly settled, Lorelai," said a voice behind her.

"I agree, Mom," she replied. "Christopher hasn't got a leg to stand on."

Emily stiffened her spine. "He does have the best custody law team in Connecticut, plus …"

"Plus all the Gilmore wealth behind him, I see," said Lorelai snidely. "You really have no compunction in supporting a lawsuit against your own daughter. All in favor of a guy who hasn't been there for sixteen years, who can't even remember his daughter's birthday."

"This is all your fault, Lorelai! You should never have left Hartford. You chose to become a maid and keep your daughter in poverty. You chose to send her to inadequate schools and to keep her away from the only family capable of providing for and loving her!"

"That's enough, Emily," said Luke as he came up behind her so quietly that she jumped when he spoke. "No mother has ever loved her child better or provided for her better than Lorelai has for Rory."

Emily's nose went even higher in the air as she turned on her heel. "We'll let the judge decide that. The judge who golfs with Richard and plays tennis with Straub. Who understands what it takes to provide for a child properly." With that she disappeared around a corner.

Her confidence shaken by her mother's cruelty, Lorelai leaned shakily into Luke.

"Coffee?" he asked, seeing her empty hands.

"Yes," she breathed. "This way." She took him by the hand and guided him to a small coffee shop in a corner of the courthouse.

Ordering and paying for a coffee and a tea, Luke joined Lorelai at a small table near the window. He squeezed her hand. "Don't worry. It will turn out fine. This is going to backfire on that chump."

She looked at him with sad eyes. "Luke, you don't understand the power of the rich. They don't have to bribe anyone because they all go around in the same social groups. All that has to be done is to let the judge know what Emily wants and it will be done," she said despondently.

He ducked his head down to draw her eyes away from the clouds in her coffee. "Hey, it's not going to be that bad. As much as it pains me to say this," he nudged her hand and cracked the half-smile that showed he was teasing, "the lawyers we have are pretty good themselves."

She chuckled. "Luke Danes, liking a lawyer! That is unusual." She arched an eyebrow at him. "Or is it just the pretty lawyers that you like so much?"

He grunted. "They're both so pretty, it's hard to choose. Although maybe the guy with the permed hair has the edge. I mean, did you see the tie he was wearing?" he teased. He laughed out loud at Lorelai's shocked look.

They moved out of the café and climbed the stairs to the floor with the judge's chambers. As they rounded a corner, Lorelai stopped cold. "Oh, my god. Can you believe the nerve of that guy?"

Christopher lounged lazily against a wall, chatting with Nicole, Lorelai's lawyer. Lorelai and Luke watched dumbfounded as he pressed what must have been his phone number into her hand.

Nicole smiled and tucked the number into her pocket before walking away. Christopher looked after her for a moment, then sauntered down the nearby stairs, not seeing that Nicole casually dropped his number into a nearby trash can.

"OK," agreed Lorelai, "at least we know she's intelligent."

They followed Nicole until they came to the room they needed. Looking at the brass plate outside the door, Lorelai gasped. "Uncle Morty!" She grabbed Luke's arm and shook it. "Uncle Morty is our judge! That is awesome!"

"Morty? You have an uncle named Morty?" Luke scratched his head.

"No, of course not. He's Mortimer Pendergast, and he used to live next door to us. He was the one who taught me how to climb down the tree outside my balcony. I wonder if he remembers me?"

Shrugging off her anxiety with a nervous smile at Luke, Lorelai opened the door. The assistant greeted them and escorted them to the chamber where the hearing would take place, indicating the water and glasses on the large mahogany meeting table and encouraging them to help themselves.

They didn't have to wait long to hear Emily's shrill voice demanding immediate attention. After what sounded like a small scuffle in the reception area, Emily burst into the room, with Francine and Christopher in tow.

"Oh, this will not do," she declared. "You two," indicating Luke and Lorelai, "sit over there," waving at a corner of the room. She looked disdainfully at Luke. "As a matter of fact, you ought to just leave the room altogether," she proclaimed, trying to get him to leave.

Before Lorelai could launch her heated protests against Emily's diatribe, Nicole and her law partner Trey came in, calmly took seats on Lorelai's left side and greeted the opposing family members. When Emily started in again, Nicole finessed the situation by addressing only a nonplussed Christopher, who had hit on her without knowing that she was Lorelai's lawyer.

The atmosphere in the room dropped to outer space levels – nearly absolute zero and a complete vacuum. Suddenly the door crashed open and a short bespectacled man bustled inside, followed by a taller, distinguished-looking if rather snooty man dressed in a designer suit.

"Take a seat, Barry," ordered the older and shorter man. "Let's get this over with." He scanned the room without looking at the people seated at the table. He frowned. "Teresa! Where's Teresa? Darla, I thought I told you to schedule Teresa for this hearing!"

"Take it easy, Judge," said Darla, his assistant. "Teresa's on her way. She was delayed a couple of minutes when she dropped her son off at school." Darla placed a porcelain cup filled with tea on a saucer at the judge's desk, then pushed him down into his leather chair. "Relax for a minute and drink your tea." She moved back into her office to wait for the court reporter.

Lorelai giggled. This was exactly the way she remembered Morty. What she hadn't realized is how much he and Luke were alike, both gruff with layers hidden underneath.

The judge's head snapped up at the sound of her laugh. "Who's laughing in my courtroom?" he demanded.

Everyone in the room froze and looked at the desk, except Lorelai. She grinned, her eyes sparkling, but didn't say a word.

He glared at her for a moment, then shook his head as if he were trying to loosen something somewhere in his brain. He did a double-take, then returned his eyes to the documents which had been laid in front of him by Darla.

"Oh, my god, it IS you!" he exclaimed. "Lorelai Gilmore, you scamp!" The judge jumped up from his desk and rushed to give her a bear hug, at least as much of a bear hug that a man eight inches shorter than Lorelai could possibly give.

Chatter burst from them both as they reminisced. "Is that tree still outside your balcony? I remember that you almost killed yourself until I taught you how to climb down safely." He indicated that she should sit again and he towered over her as he half-leaned, half-sat on the meeting table in front of her.

"And I remember helping you surprise Aunty Lorraine on her birthday," she replied, holding his hands. "How is she?"

Before Morty could reply, Emily interrupted. "Lorelai, for god's sake control yourself. How can you behave like this?"

Morty turned to Emily briefly, not letting go of Lorelai's hands. "Pull the stick out of your butt, Emily, sit down, and shut up. You always were the most annoying creature." He chose to not bring up the fact that it was Emily who had driven his family to move to the other side of town.

Turning back to Lorelai, he continued. "I lost her five years ago, honey, to breast cancer. She remembered you even at the end. She talked about the flowers you laid out on the back terrace for her birthday as one of the happiest moments of her life. She called it her field of fairy flowers." He grinned at her and squeezed her hands again. "I still can't believe I haven't seen you since you were twelve. You still look exactly the same."

A noticeable "Harrumph!" came from the table next to the judge's desk. The court reporter had come in, placed her machine on the table and was organizing her notepad and pen as she waited for the judge to finish talking to Lorelai.

Morty patted Lorelai's cheek. "That's Teresa. Now we've got to get to work," he whispered conspiratorially. He glanced at Luke. "Hey, is this your guy?"

She beamed, reaching to rub Luke's arm. "Yes, this is Luke. My white knight, Lancelot, flannel-clad hero of all my most dramatic moments." She broke out in pure laughter as both Morty and Luke rolled their eyes at exactly the same time.

"Well, I'm glad to see you happy," Morty said. Pushing his glasses higher on his nose, he turned to Luke, but kept talking to Lorelai. "Let me know if he ever doesn't treat you right, you hear?"

Luke's eyes widened as he felt the threat that he liked to use himself to intimidate people. Lorelai nudged him as she said, "I'll put you on my speed dial, sweetie. Sometimes he withholds coffee."

Morty roared with laughter. "You're living a dangerous life, young man! Lorelai discovered coffee at our house. I thought we were going to go broke keeping her caffeinated."

"Don't I know it," he grumbled affectionately.

Morty reluctantly stood up and went behind his desk. "Teresa, it's about time you got here. Kept us very busy and important people waiting."

Teresa merely snorted her disbelief.

"How's Timmy?" he asked kindly, referring to her 8 year old son. "Did he fall in the well again?"

This time both Lorelai and Teresa scoffed at Morty's lame joke. "Ready to go whenever you are, Judge," said Teresa calmly as she checked her equipment one last time.

Morty moved quickly through the formalities. This is a hearing on a petition for full custody of one Lorelai Leigh Gilmore by Christopher Hayden. The mother is Lorelai Victoria Gilmore and currently has full custody."

"I wish to say something, Mortimer," stated Emily.

He looked at her over the top of his glasses. "In this hearing, you will refer to me as the Judge Pendergast. That is, if you are Christopher Hayden, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore or one of their lawyers. Since you are none of those, you will either remain silent, Mrs. Gilmore, or you will be removed from these proceedings." Morty's animosity toward Emily was only heightened as he recalled how sad his wife was when they moved away.

After explaining the process behind an in-chambers hearing, Judge Pendergast moved on to the case details.

"Lorelai, I read here that you have been raising Lorelai Leigh primarily in Stars Hollow, Connecticut?"

"Yes, Judge," she said nervously.

"You're employed as a manager at an inn? No periods of unemployment in the past five years?"

She nodded. "Always worked."

Luke mumbled, "Harder than most," under his breath. The judge fired him a warning look.

"Mr. Hayden, are you currently employed?"

"Yes, sir, I have just taken a position of great responsibility at a local high-tech firm. The cutting edge of …"

"That's enough." He was cut off by the judge.

"No periods of unemployment in the past five years?"

"There was a small break between companies in California," he began.

"How many breaks? How long in total?"

"Three. Eight months total."

"And how did you support yourself during those times?"

"Um, I had a trust fund from which I borrowed."

"I see," said the judge. "How many people were you supporting from these borrowed funds?"

"Just me, sir."

Emily began speaking. "He sent his daughter money and presents regularly. Things her mother couldn't provide."

Judge Pendergast called out, "Darla! I need you!"

Darla opened the door and stood primly off to one side.

"Please escort Mrs. Gilmore to the hallway."

"I most certainly will not go!" exclaimed Emily hotly.

"Call Security if necessary," he added, turning back to Christopher. After huffing angrily, Emily followed Darla outside.

"If given custody, Mr. Hayden, where will you and your daughter reside?"

"Initially with my mother, at least until the remodeling of the house I've rented is finished."

Lorelai's heart sank. If the judge was talking about where Rory would live with Christopher, it wasn't looking good for her.

"Tell me about your plans for child care."

"Child care?" asked Christopher.

"Yes! Child care! Are you so clueless that you think a child of age ..." he opened Rory's case papers, "1984? This child was born in 1984?"

"Yes, sir, I think so," stuttered Christopher.

"You're seeking custody of a sixteen year old girl who, by all reports has lived a successful and happy life with her mother?"

"Um, yes, sir. You see, she won't let me see her. Her mother, I mean. And her grandmothers. She can't see her grandparents either."

"That's not true!" cried Lorelai. "He's been allowed to see her whenever he wants for the past sixteen years! He's almost never done that!"

"Lorelai, take it easy, I'll handle this," said the judge.

"Teresa, take a little break. No need to record this." She tossed eye daggers at Christopher before relaxing, her hands folded in her lap.

"Mr. Hayden, when was your daughter born?"

"Well, the exact hour I don't exactly remember. Her mother went to the hospital without telling me."

Judge Pendergast leaned back in his chair, laced his fingers behind his head and smiled patiently.

"What day was your daughter born, Mr. Hayden?"

"It was 1984, um, ..."

"Good start, but I already gave you that one. Which month?"

"September!" he said, recalling the phone calls Lorelai had frequently made to remind him of Rory's birthday.

Lorelai began to fidget happily in her seat.

"And the date?"

Christopher had nothing but a silly wild-ass guess. "The fourteenth?"

"I've heard enough." The judge flipped a few papers and made a couple of notes.

"Teresa, hop to it. I'm going to talk fast. Try to keep up this time," he chided, their banter having been established decades earlier.

"So one hand ought to be enough," she grumbled.

Luke's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he feared Lorelai wouldn't be able to resist a 'Dirty!' outburst. She managed to hold back, though.

"Mr. Hayden. Reviewing your financials, I see that you have a trust fund of half a million dollars coming due in two years." Lorelai's gasp was audible.

"You have borrowed two hundred thousand dollars against that fund already. Your income over the past sixteen years has averaged eighty thousand dollars, not counting the trust fund loan."

The judge threw a subtle wink at Lorelai, who almost missed it as she pondered just how much disposable income Christopher had disposed of in the past years.

"Also over the past sixteen years you have paid exactly zero dollars in child support. In spite of that, I am inclined to award partial custody to you."

Lorelai and Luke held hands so tightly, neither could determine whose palm was actually sweating.

He sipped his tea casually. "There are a couple of conditions, though."

"Yes?" asked Christopher, daring to look smug for a moment.

"First, you will have no rights to either custody or visitation until you set up a trust account for your daughter with at least fifty thousand dollars, to be provided to her upon her entry into a university or she turns twenty-one, whichever comes first."

"Secondly, as soon as you have paid Ms. Gilmore back child support of $150,000, she will provide you with up to three two-week time slots per year for your daughter to visit you at your home. Ms. Gilmore may make more or less time available as she chooses. You will bear all costs of travel to and from her home to yours."

"Finally, the child, although I hesitate to call this young woman a child anymore, has recently left a private school situation. Should she choose to return to a private high school, you will pay the full tuition for the last two years of her high school career into an escrow account."

"Upon achievement of all of these obligations, the father shall have joint custody insofar as he resides within a thirty minute drive of the child's school. Visitation is to be decided jointly between the parents, with mediation available to resolve disputes."

"This custody arrangement shall, of course, expire upon the child's eighteenth birthday, unless either parent chooses to renounce custody rights after payment of the required funds for the child's welfare."

Judge Pendergast looked at Christopher. "Any questions, Mr. Hayden? Or from your lawyer? Barry?"

"No, sir," Christopher said morosely, as Barry agreed.

"Lorelai? Any questions from you or your legal team? Nice to see you again, Trey. Nicole, how's your dad doing?"

"Fine, thanks," replied Nicole, at the same time Lorelai also answered in the affirmative.

"Teresa, thanks for your help today. We're done now." She stopped recording and packed up her equipment.

"Mr. Hayden, you should go through this other door here so we can draw up the formal documents and you can make your first payment." The judge stood up, reached high to grasp Christopher's shoulder and guided him with more than a little force to the door. "By the way, that was one of the stupidest custody cases I've ever seen. Don't let yourself be made a fool of again. Emily is a real dragon. She'll chew you up and spit you out before your body has a chance to get cold."

At that, Christopher, Francine and their lawyer exited per the judge's instruction.

The judge came to shake the lawyers' hands, then gave Lorelai a big hug. Slapping Luke on the arm, he asked Lorelai, "Is this one as dumb as that one?" he asked, jerking his thumb toward the door Christopher had gone through.

She laughed, saying, "Well, he does have his moments, but I'm pretty sure he's a keeper."

Morty laughed with her while Luke turned red.

"You call me if he needs an ass-kicking, ok?" He laughed. "Don't be a stranger, doll. You got my number now. Use it."

Lorelai and Luke exited through the same door as Emily, saying goodbye to Darla and Teresa, who had been chatting in the outer room.

Emily was right in front of them as they reached the hallway. "Oh." she said when she saw that Christopher was not there. "Christopher lost," she concluded.

"No, Mom. Christopher has a few obligations to fulfill, but then he gets joint custody as long as he stays in the area. That means he won, and Rory wins, because she gets to see her dad more often."

Emily looked disappointed. "I was, er, HE was supposed to get sole custody."

She suddenly turned angry. "You know very well he'll never follow through, Lorelai. Christopher has the attention span of a gnat."

Lorelai sighed. "That is true," she acknowledged sadly.

"Now I'll never see Rory again," said Emily, as Lorelai and Luke turned to leave. "I've ruined everything. Richard will never forgive me."

They walked down the hall a few steps, when Lorelai stopped. "Call me crazy." She turned and went back to her mother.

"Mom, when the custody papers were served, Rory and I had a good long talk. She still wants a relationship with you. She likes you," added Lorelai.

"She said that?"

"Yes, she did. And I told her we'd find a way."

"So Friday Night Dinners will continue?"

"No way in hell, Mom. I'm not going to do that to myself anymore. But if you want to invite Rory once every couple of weeks, I'm sure she'd like that. And if once in a while you invited Luke and me for an evening, I bet we could make that work, too."

"You're serious?"

"Mom, I will never voluntarily agree to a social engagement with you as a joke. Of course I'm serious. As a matter of fact, why don't you and Dad come to us for dinner in a couple of weeks? Rory ought to be settled in at school very well, and Luke will cook." She looked up at him. He nodded briefly. "That's settled then. Dinner the week after next, in Stars Hollow."

"Ok, then," said Emily, still in awe that her relationship with her daughter and granddaughter wasn't completely gone. "We'll talk before then to make the final arrangements." She waved as Luke and Lorelai practically ran down the stairs and outside into the sunshine.

As he escorted her to the Jeep, he asked, "Do you really think that Morty guy can kick my ass?"

"Of course," she replied coolly. "Look at what he just did to Emily Gilmore. He'd crush you like a moth."

Luke chuckled. "Guess I'd better behave, then. Hey, different question. What do you think of goats?"

"Buy me a caramel latte for the drive home and I'll tell you, doll face."

Fin.

A/N: This story is finished. After hitting Christopher with a judicial anvil, I am leaving our band of crazies to their own devices. Rory is exploring new career options, Lorelai is plotting how to ask Luke to move in without actually having to go to the batting cages, and Luke is sneaking off to carve Gilbert and other miscellaneous woodland creatures for their little chuppah. Waiting in the wings is Liz, who is just one more pot bust away from calling Luke and sending Jess to him.

Beaucoup kudos to DSLeo for the ideas and inspiration for the lawyering stuff. She blasted through the wall of my writer's block and made finishing this story possible.