"The Opposite of Silence"

By: Yukine-Elric (Jenstone)

A\N: Please excuse my uncreative title, haha. I couldn't think of anything else... anyway, I'm proud to announce my second FMA story, where Ed gets his rear toasted over the back of a car... In front of his brother, too, oh, I'm so mean! D: I think I got this idea from... idk, reading too many FMA spanking fics? ;w; One included a car in the beginning... uh... I feel like some sort of pervert... oh well...

There shouldn't be too much OOC-ness this time. I tried to keep my little Ed and Roy in-character. Alphonse, too, but he doesn't talk as much as I wanted him to during this... (Maybe he's tending to the cats hiding in his armour. Yeah, imagine that!)

Edward Elric sat in the backseat of Roy Mustang's car, his brother Alphonse sitting next to him. The colonel had offered them a ride home after a rather tiring day since Ed refused to walk, and it was nearly seven, although the sun hadn't gone down quite yet.

"How much longer?" Ed mumbled, yawning immediately afterward. "I'm tired; can't you drive any faster?"

"Be patient, Brother," Al told him, no sleepy tone in his voice since he was only a soul in a suit of armour, therefore there was no need for him to sleep. "The colonel is tired, too."

"Yeah, well we could already be halfway on the train to Resembool by now with the speed this bastard is going," Ed snapped, putting his elbow against the window and leaning his head into his hand. "I'm exhausted... and like I could ever get to sleep in here. Gross, it smells like old milk in here."

Roy felt the sudden urge to stop the car. "I wouldn't have given you a ride if I knew you'd be running your smart-ass mouth the entire drive back."

"Heh," Ed scoffed, "you know, the smell of this car is probably why women won't go out with you."

"Brother..." Al warned.

"Says the pint-sized fifteen-year-old who can't get a date," Roy shot back. "I have to admit, I'm kind of surprised. Aren't you supposed to be all hormonial and girl-crazy at this age?"

Ed felt a blush start to spread. "Shut up!" He got up off his seat and slammed his automail fist onto the cup-holder seperating the driver's and passenger's seat. "And I'm not small, you fucking ba—!"

"Sit your ass down and shut up," Roy snapped. "I won't hesitate to pull over if I have to."

Ed did as he was told and slumped back down into his seat next to his younger brother. "Jerk," he mumbled under his breath. "What an empty threat. Pull over," he mocked, rolling his eyes and once again leaning against the window using his elbow for support. His automail arm layed unmoving to his side. "What could he possibly do to me..."

"I can hear you, Fullmetal."

Ed stomped his foot on the car's floor. "Shut up! I don't really fucking care!"

"Brother!" Alphonse grabbed a hold of Ed's false arm before he could jump up and try to strangle the colonel. "Come on, just sit down!"

"Watch your mouth," Roy warned dryly, not even sparing a glance behind him. His foot was already prepared to slam onto the brakes. "I'll tell you one more time: sit still and be quiet or I'll stop the car."

Ed huffed out a breath of irritation and stopped squirming, leaning back against the fabric seats of the car. He wasn't really scared of Mustang's threat; it wasn't like he would ever dare to actually burn him to a crisp with his gloves after pulling the car over, but Ed didn't want to find out the colonel's intentions anyway. Sometimes, Roy could be a pretty freaky guy.

But Ed just had to find out if Mustang was telling the truth, or if his threats were just empty after all.

"You know, if I was wearing a miniskirt right now you wouldn't even been threatening me," Ed joked. "You'd just be drooling instead. Probably so much, it'd be the same as having a bucket of water dumped on your head." Roy took his foot off the gas pedal. "You know what, Al? I think we need to find a miniskirt my size. Then Roy would be useless all the time, instead of just when it rains."

"Brother, don't—"

"That's it." Roy slammed his foot on the brakes, and since Ed never wore his seatbelt, he had to catch himself on the back of Roy's seat. "Get out of the car."

"No way—"

Roy opened his door and slammed it behind him, causing Ed to nervously scoot towards Alphonse out of slight panic. Roy then opened his door and grabbed his flesh arm. Ed desperately tried to grab it back.

"Let me go, bastard—" Ed choked out, but Roy was already much stronger and managed to scoot him to the end of the seat, where the colonel yanked him out, slammed the door, and roughly pushed his back against the car's side, but not hard enough to hurt him. "What the hell?"

"You really can't sit through a car ride in silence, can you, Fullmetal?" Roy yelled, and Ed's eyes widened slightly. "I was kind enough to give you a ride in the first place, I just wanted one simple thing in return, and you couldn't do it." Roy knew Al could hear them from inside the car and the armour most likely was thinking about the predicament his elder brother was now in. Oh, he's in a big one all right, Roy thought, blind thoughts swarming through his head. But I know just what this brat deserves.

Ed chose not to respond.

"You're not going to say anything now?" Roy scoffed, annoyed. "I wonder where that was ten seconds ago."

"Shut up," Ed growled.

Roy grabbed him by the ear (despite his arguments, and there were many) and guided him to the back of the car, where he leaned Ed over against it and restrained him with his left arm.

"What the hell are you doing, Mustang?" Ed snapped, when he recieved a hard swat to his clothed bottom, and he blushed. "Hey!"

"Giving you what I should of given you the first time you called me a 'bastard,'" Roy harshly responded. "I assume you've never gotten a spanking before, considering how much of a smart-ass you are." Ed wanted to stand up and swing his automail fist straight into Mustang's nose after he said that.

"A spanking!" Ed repeated. "Are you out of your mind? Not outside!"

"Maybe you should of thought about the repercussions before you carelessly ran your mouth to me." He finished this comment with another smack.

"You bastard!" Ed snarled, and when he noticed Al quickly looking away from their direction after the two brother's eyes met, his blush spread even more. "You can't do it here! Not outside! Not in front of Al! People are outside at this time, asshole!"

"You shouldn't have acted up, then," Roy scolded, grabbing the waistline of the alchmist's pants. "If we were inside, you'd be facing a corner with a bar of soap in your mouth."

Ed was really starting to panic. "You can't—"

"Maybe I'll do that, the next time you're at my office and you give me one of your signature line of curses. It won't be pleasant at all. Think about that, Ed." With that, Roy tugged Ed's pants down, and the prodigy freaked.

"Stop it!" Ed tried to wiggle his way off of the car to pull his pants back up. This was already humiliating enough! "Pull them back up!"

"Stay still, Ed," Roy demanded.

"I can't!" Ed cried. "This is embarassing!"

"It should be." Roy smirked and spanked him again. "Now, how many do you think you've earned yourself?"

"I haven't earned any, you pervert!"

One of the car doors opened, and Al started to climb out. Roy opened his mouth to say something, perhaps tell him to stay in the car, but he decided against it and glanced down at Ed, who was staring at his brother with a blush that had now spread to his ears.

"Al, don't watch," Ed begged, but his plead could easily be mistaken for "help me," which was what he seemed to want to say instead. "Don't watch, please..."

The armour ignored him and turned to the colonel instead. "Sir," he said quietly and polietly, unlike Ed, "are you sure this is a good idea? I think my brother is just a little stressed, is all, he just needs some sleep." Ed agreed with this, and turned his head the best he could in such an embarassing position to give his commanding officer pleading eyes.

"All the more reason to spank him," Roy growled, and Ed let his head bang against the car in defeat. Roy wasn't going to change his mind now.

"But, sir—"

"What else am I supposed to do?" Roy asked, his voice raising to a shout that startled both the Elric brothers. He sighed and lowered his voice: "Lectures don't work and neither does making him write reports—"

"Maybe because you punish me for stupid reasons!" Ed interrupted. "I didn't do anything wrong!"

"—and I am fed up with your brother's brattiness. He's getting this, Alphonse." He ended his statement with three sharp slaps to Edward's ass, causing Al to flinch and Ed to just become even more annoyed than he ready was. "You can stand there and watch if you want. If not then just get back in the car."

"Don't watch, Al!" Ed cried, once again trying to push himself off the car.

Half of Al wanted to listen to his brother and go back inside the car, but his other half knew Ed deserved the punishment and he wanted to see it take place. Al reached back towards the door handle and slowly pulled it open before hesitantly slipping back inside and shutting the door behind him.

"I think we can start for real now," Roy calmly said, taking his hand off of Ed and walking to the side of the road. Ed straightened up and looked at Roy in confusion — but when Mustang picked up a stick perfect to use on his rear, Ed freaked, pulled up his pants, and quickly tried to get back into the car.

"Get back here Ed," Roy demanded sternly, placing the stick on the car and grabbing a hold of Ed's shirt just as he was opening the door.

"No!" Ed argued, not letting go of the top of the door. "Don't you dare!"

"Just do what he says, Brother," Al said, glancing up at his elder brother with his same expressionless face, a hint of annoyance in his tone.

"But Al," Ed cried, as the colonel tried to pry his fingers off the door. Al didn't reply, and Mustang finally suceeded and managed to lean Ed back over and pick up the stick. "Mustang, don't!"

As if Mustang was deaf, Ed's words went ignored and he easily slipped the teenager's pants back down to his ankles.

He pushed his hand down harshly on Ed's back and had the stick in a ready position. "You're getting ten," he informed. "You will count them, understand?" Ed didn't respond. "Understand?" Still no response. Mustang brushed the stick against his thin boxers, and Ed flinched. "Answer me!"

"Y-yes sir!" Ed quickly answered, still blushing as hard as ever.

"Good." Roy raised the stick before giving him his first. Ed flinched and closed his eyes, now biting his lip.

"One." Smack. "Two." Smack. "Th-three." Smack. "Four." Smack. "Five."

Roy stopped for a moment. "Good boy, Ed," he calmly said, brushing a hand over Ed's rear. Ed hissed and reached back to slap the colonel's hand away, and Roy let him before he glanced around. The street's population had decreased since they started, but there were still people walking on the streets. Roy's eyes met a white-haired man's, who was staring at them from across the street, his eyes glazed over with... Pervert, Roy thought to himself, now definately wishing he had found a more private place to carry this out. His hands were reaching towards the waistline of Ed's undergarments, too.

Roy decided to leave Ed's boxers on, to spare some of his dignity, and mumbled softly, "...Okay, Ed. Five more." He once again lifted the stick.

Smack. "Ow!" Ed cried. "That hurt, dammit!"

"It's supposed to," Roy said, "and I said to count."

"Whatever! Six!" Smack. "S-seven...!" Smack. "Owww... eight!" Smack. "Nine!" The hardest blow was the last one, and it startled with a loud and harsh smack! "Fuck you, ow! Ten!"

Roy took his hand off of Ed's back and threw the stick back into the forest. "Get back in the car," he ordered, and Ed didn't hesitate in doing so. He hurriedly pulled his pants up before he climbed in next to his brother. Mustang followed, opening the door to the front seat and shutting it behind him. He buckled his seat belt and gripped the wheel. They were moving again shortly.

Ed was uncomfortably squirming in the back, trying to find a comfortable position that wouldn't hurt. He eventually just ended up face-down across Alphonse's lap with his head buried in his arms.

The rest of the ride was silent. Mustang kept his eyes on the road, not sparing Ed even a glance, and Al was silently comforting his brother by rubbing one of his cold metal hands across Ed's back.

The car stopped.

"We're here," Roy told them, breaking the silence. Al nodded and glanced down at his older brother, who was still lying on top of him.

"Brother, we're back," Al said quietly, but Ed didn't respond or make a move to get out. The soul-filled armour brushed Ed's bangs out of his eyes and saw them closed. His breathing was slower than normal, too. "...Oh. He fell asleep..."

Roy looked behind him to see. And there was his little state alchemist, peacefully sleeping face-down across his younger brother's lap. It was almost cute, but like hell Mustang would ever admit it. "Do you need my help getting him out?" he asked casually. "Or are you going to wake him up?"

"No, it's okay, I'll get him up."

"Hmm."

Alphonse shook his brother lightly. "Brother, wake up," he urged, and Ed's eyes creaked open.

"What...?"

"We're home, Brother. You fell asleep."

Ed's eyes averted to the colonel's, but he only gave him a glare. "Sorry. Y-you go ahead, Al." Alphonse nodded and opened the car door, climbing out, shutting it behind him, and walking towards the building where they slept.

Once Ed was sure they were out of Al's hearing, he once again glared harshly at the colonel. "What the hell was spanking me supposed to prove?" he shouted, and Roy only gave him a stern look. "Why did you try so hard to humiliate me, huh?"

"I spanked you to show that you're still a child," Roy answered, and Ed scoffed. "And I wasn't trying to humiliate you."

"Whatever. Liar."

"I'm being honest," Roy said calmly, but Ed still rolled his eyes. "Come on, it's not the end of the world, Fullmetal. And please try to not be the opposite of silence the next time I'm so generous as to give you a ride home." A smirk played at his lips. "I wasn't lying when I said next time you'd be at the corner with a bar of soap in your mouth, you know."

Ed decided to leave the car.

"Thanks, Colonel Bastard," he mumbled as he climbed out.

"No problem, pipsqueak."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALL?"

A\N: There! Done in half a night and a whole day! *blinks* I sure do take a lot of time on these things.

Anyway, sorry for those who wished Ed cried. I just didn't see him in tears after this. Should I do a sequel? Maybe actually following what Roy said about the corner and the soap? *evil laugh* It'd be great! I can see it now, in my dreams! My wonderful dreams!

Btw, Area11's "Homunculus" is an awesome FMA fanfic-writing motivation song. It's also my favourite song. I recommend it to all you FMA people who like heavy rock music!

Please remember to review and favourite! ^^ I give my thanks to those who do!