Title: Potentially devastating

Warning: T for now, may become M later

Summery: Set after Avengers. Onesided ThorxLoki. Thor has been in love with his brother for a long time now and having finally confessed it, it should have lifted a weight off him. Instead he finds out that Loki can be a hell of a sadist if he wants to be and he's using his feelings mercilessly to live up to his title as god of chaos and get his revenge on the royal family. How long will Thor be able to endure his little mind games? And more important: What will happen once he breaks?

XxX

„I did not think that you would come here again", Loki muttered.

Frigga smiled sadly and stepped forward, holding her hands out for him.

The god of lies simply stared at her. He knew she had to be an illusion – Odin had banned him from ever seeing her in person again. If he tried to touch her she would vanish and then what purpose would her visit serve? He didn't want her to leave.

„Loki, please, I have good news", his mother – no, not his mother, he reminded himself sharply - reached out for him and gently grabbed his wrist. He almost flinched back from the very much solid touch.

„What happened?", he asked, looking at her wide-eyed.

„You know that Thor brought back the tesseract as well as the sceptre you were using on Midgard, don't you?"

Loki felt his jaw muscle clench in an attempt not to grimace. „Yes."

„The sceptre was analyzed and it was found that it was powered by the mind gem, one of the six infinity gems. In its own right it could be considered just as powerful as the tesseract itself. Our healers who examined you after you returned to Asgard delivered the results of their tests to your father yesterday. They could prove that you were strongly influenced by the gem yourself."

Frigga smiled at him with unshed tears in her eyes but Loki just stared back blankly.

„Loki, don't you understand what this means? You are not being held accountable for any of the things that happened on Midgard. Odin has put you back in your rightful place as prince of Asgard an hour ago. I am here to get you out of this cell. You are free."

Slowly Loki pulled back from her. He could look into his mothers eyes no longer.

„You knew that already", she realized. „You knew of the spell put on you."

„It broke when the green beast broke me down", he admitted.

„But then why didn't you say anything! You wouldn't have had to spend a single day in this cell."

But he shook his head. „Even so, have you forgotten why... how I left Asgard in the first place? I still tried to destroy Jotunheim. I tried to kill Thor. More then once."

He could see the pain in Friggas eyes when he glanced at her but she moved to put her hand on his shoulder.

„It is true that the Allfather did not approve of your actions while you where king. Nonetheless you were rightfully sitting on that throne. I myself put you there. With Thor gone and your father in the Odinsleep it was your turn to wear the crown. As king you are literally unable to commit any crime. It was your right to sent the Destroyer to Midgard, to let the Jotun in and even to activate the Bifrost. And what might have seemed to be mindless destruction at that time turned out to have nothing but positive long term effects. It was only because you attacked Thor that he was able to regain his powers. Luring the Jotun into Asgard, leading them into a trap and managing to kill their king is not a small feat. Of course it would have been quite a stupid move that could have angered the whole realm so much they would have started invading the same day but when you activated the Bifrost you were doing a lot of damage to their realm. They are too scared to attack now that they know that Asgard possesses a weapon powerful enough to destroy them all and willing to use it. The Bifrost is destroyed now but it is being rebuild as we speak. Until it is finished the Jotun have no way of getting here and after that the threat of annihilation hangs over their head once again. You have ended the war that Thor begun within three days without shedding a single drop of Asgardian blood. You may not know this, Loki, but a large part of the Aesir now think of you as the most promising king Asgard has ever had."

Loki shook his head. „You know that none of this were my intentions."

„It doesn't matter!", she said, almost pleadingly. „We can use these results to get you free and save your reputation. Everything can be just like it always was."
„You don't understand!", he finally snapped at her. „Nothing can ever be as before! Things have changed, I have changed. You do not know what the Chitauri did to me, what Odin did to me through his rejection, you know nothing!"

„I just want to help you, Loki."

„No. You just want to live in a happy family again. I am sorry to have to tell you that this is never going to happen. We weren't even a family to begin with."

Frigga was silent for a moment. Finally she let out something that could have been a sigh, or maybe a suppressed sob too. She turned around and disabled the energetic field that closed off Lokis cell.

„Your living quarters have remained untouched. There is a celebration this evening to celebrate yours and Thors safe return. For the next two weeks you are relieved from your duties as a prince."

Then she turned to leave.

Loki waited a full five minutes until he finally made his way out of the prison as well. He still did not know what he was to think about all of this. Walking through the palace he felt like a stranger. He almost expected the first guards he came across to yell and try to apprehend him again. Instead he found them nodding at him with respect when he passed.

That weird moment when all of his plans failed and suddenly everyone respected him.

The god of chaos couldn't help a small smile. Even he hadn't expected this.

XxX

„Thor!" Frigga smiled pleasantly and motioned for the cushions on the ground before her. „What a surprise to find you up already. Sit with me, will you?"

Thor smiled weakly and moved to sit at the spot he and Loki would often sit to watch their mother tell them stories when they were younger. Frigga was sitting in a chair in a pavilion in the garden, working on some embroidery and enjoying the wonderful weather. It was indeed early in the morning, considering yesterday there had been a grand feast and Thor was usually still asleep or hung over at this time.

„Loki wasn't at the feast yesterday", Thor said quietly after he sat down.

„I know", she whispered.

„I think he's avoiding me", he muttered, leaning his head against her legs.

„He's avoiding everyone. Your brother needs time. He went through a lot", Frigga said soothingly.

„I know that", Thor said raw with some unknown emotion. „But... I've meant to talk to him for... for a long time and... When I go to his room there's this magical barrier that I couldn't get through without making the entire palace collapse and... and he never leaves his room. No, that's not right. I know he does because yesterday his horse was missing from the stables but nobody's seen him. You know how he is, if he doesn't want to be seen not even Heimdall can find him. But I... I really need to talk to him."

„He is bitter, Thor. With time, I am sure he will open up again but right now might not be the best time."

Thor was silent for a moment. Finally he said: „I already lost him once, mother. I cannot lose him again." He looked up at her with bright but also sad blue eyes. „Midgard taught me so many things, mother. Time is precious. I could never forgive myself if I let him go without apologizing."

„Apologizing?", she repeated surprised. „What do you want to apologize for?"

The god of thunder shifted a bit uneasily. „That I... I have to tell him myself."

„I may be able to help you to earn Lokis forgiveness for whatever it is you believe you have done. You know you can tell me everything, my son."

This time he didn't look at her. „You... You'll be angry", he whispered.

„Maybe", she answered. „But I got your brother out of prison after he almost destroyed two realms we were supposed to be at peace with. I think I can get you out of any trouble you have caused as well."

Thor smiled weakly but his expression grew serious quickly enough.

„For... some time now... And I mean quite a long while I have felt this... attraction. Towards Loki. Attraction that no man should feel towards another man, much less his own brother."

„Oh Thor...", Frigga sighed.

But now that it was out, Thor couldn't stop. „I tried to love Loki as nothing but a brother but it... just... wouldn't... work! I mean, I am attracted to lots of women too and I tried my best to distract me from him with them but I never felt this strongly for anyone before or after. I did everything I could think of to stop it but nothing would work! So I started ignoring him, pushing him away from me and distance myself as much as possible just so that I wouldn't have to see him every day, that I wouldn't have to think of him because it hurt, it hurt so much! Every time I was close to him it was torture because I just wanted to be closer."

Thor took a deep breath and refused to look at Frigga, lest he lose the courage to speak. She didn't interrupt him.

„Then I came to Midgard and Lady Jane showed me her world. The mortals happen do be much more... open with... these kind of relationships. And how surprised I was that there were actually couples existing of two persons of the same sex! I have never heard of such a thing before. I always thought I was cursed or ill or something. But it turned out I wasn't the only man who desired another men. In some places on Midgard it's considered normal! And, and its not an illness at all but just a part of who you are and it's other people who are being called stupid and narrow-minded and evil for judging these men... or women, for that matter.

And then I... Well, then you told me that Loki and I weren't really blood related. Suddenly my feelings for him were not unnatural or wrong anymore. I know that he is still my brother and I'm still not supposed to feel that way, but... When I met Loki on Midgard and he refused me when I called him brother, I think that some of this relief showed on my face. Only that he didn't understand it. I think he believes that I'm glad that he's not my brother because I don't like him when the exact opposite is the case! Loki has met so much rejection and I never once thought what I might do to him. I was only concerned in hiding my feelings that I didn't consider his at all. I think that it is partially my fault he let go that day and I will never forgive myself for that. But I have finally found the courage to set things straight between us. I want to tell him the truth, I want him to know that I love him. I know that... that he probably hates me after everything that happened but... At least I want him to hate me for the right reasons."

Frigga was silent for a moment. Absentmindedly she was stroking Thors hair and a light smile that he could not see was playing on her lips.

„You have grown so much, my son", she whispered, tears in her eyes.

„You're... You're not mad?", Thor asked worried.

„No, Thor. I... I will be honest with you, as you have opened up to me so much. Your father and I have suspected you might feel this way for some time now."

Thor was glad he was already sitting when he turned to stare at his mother in shock. „What?!"

She smiled at him in sad amusement. „It was obvious in the way you looked at him when you knew his gaze was turned away – but ours was not. Why do you think Lady Sif loathes him so much?"

„Wha- but …. she...!"

„She may not know to which extent your love goes but she certainly felt like your brother was snatching your attention away that she wanted for herself."

Thor was still a bit shocked but got over it quickly enough.

„What... What should I do now?", he asked.

„I cannot make a decision for you, my son. As things are now, Loki would probably react negatively to your declaration. You will have to prepare yourself for his rejection. Maybe it is for the best. Maybe you need this rejection to finally be able to move on. But it could also be good for Loki to hear this. Loki has it in his head, unjustly so, that your father loves you more then he loves Loki. You have said yourself that you have not always been the best brother to him either. Learning that he always had some kind of love from you, even if not the brotherly one, might be preferable to not having any. If you do tell him it could work in making Loki a part of this family again. However, I am afraid it could also come at the cost of your relationship. You might help Loki to heal... but in doing so, you might also lose him forever."

Thor swallowed hard. His eyes felt wet but he refused to let his tears roll.

„I always knew that I could not have him. Just... Just being around him, not having to hide would be more then I could have ever hoped for. If I can help Loki... If he can be happy when I'm gone from his life then I will do it." He looked up at Frigga again with new determination shining in his eyes.

„Mother, I want you to promise me something."

„What is it?"

„If... If Loki says he doesn't want to ever see me again... And father is forced to separate us, then please let me leave Asgard."

Friggas eyes widened slightly. „You would leave Asgard? But Thor, that would mean refusing the throne!"

„That is another thing I have learned on Midgard. Loki was absolutely right. I'm not ready to be king. He will be a good ruler once he does not have the threat of someone taking the throne from him hanging over his head and the people already respect him. I could go back to Midgard... Or maybe travel the other worlds. I would always be there to protect Asgard and follow the orders of my king just... not at his side anymore."

„Oh Thor", Frigga sighed and moved to hug her son. „You have such a brave, strong heart. Your father will not be pleased, that I can assure you, not pleased at all. But he will get over it eventually and I will help you on that difficult path you have chosen just as I've helped Loki."

„Thank you, mother", Thor whispered, finally melting into her hug. It felt good to let go like this, as if he was still a child and the matter of discussion was no more serious then him getting into trouble for riding a biglesnipe through the city centre. He was sure he had the most wonderful mother in all the nine worlds.