~AN~ (Author's Note)

So, I was bored, had this idea, then decided to try my hand at being a comedian. Let's see how I do, shall we?

(P.S. This will go along with the fanfic I plan on posting soon. I want to have at least five chapters completed on that one before I post the first chapter, so I can update it on a regular basis. It will be called "Transformers Alternate Universe")

Hi, Clara Morincy here, better known as Red. I decided that there are some things that are frequently heard around base that are just too funny not to share with the world. I hope you enjoy! I know I did!

(P.S. Not in chronological order.)

1. OW!

This is the most common one so far. It'll be anything from a human stubbing a toe, to a Bot (foolishly) ticking off Ratchet The Hatchet (don't tell him I called him that!) and getting knocked over the helm with the infamous wrench.

2. Shut up!

This one is usually heard when Jazz or Bumblebee won't keep their mouths shut. Usually Ironhide and/or Ratchet are the ones yelling this. (Just wait till Bluestreak gets here mechs!) Or it could be me yelling at the (annoying) government lackey sent to assist (cough-babysit-cough) us on base.

3. Keep It Down!

This is usually directed at Jazz, Bee, and/or, yes, me when we play our tunes a bit too loudly. Once again, usually Hide and Ratch yelling. (Killjoys!)

4. Boom!

After the first eight explosions, we humans stopped running for the training rooms, now taking for granted that it is 95% likely to be Hide testing out a new weapon of some sort. Or tossing Jazz through a wall. (Not sure what that one was about.)

5. Clang!

If this sound is heard coming from the med bay, it is the sound of a Bot being introduced to a wrench by Ratchet. Coming from anywhere else, someone probably dropped a clipboard. (Clumsy afts.)

6. Fraggit!

At first, this was only the Bots. Needless to say, we humans picked it up pretty quick. On the bright side, Lennox doesn't have to worry about his daughter eventually finding out what it means, since technically the word doesn't exist. (It probably goes without saying that Ironhide has a bad mouth when angered. Whose idea was it to make him a guardian?!)

7. Aw, Slag.

This is officially Jazz's go-to line whenever he finds himself in a "I-am-so-going-to-get-slagged-up" situation. (For the head of Spec Ops, you'd think he'd be more subtle when pranking Ratch or Hide. Maybe thats why he was thrown through a wall. Would also explain why there were feathers coming from Hide's favorite cannon.)

8. Not Again.

This is one of the ones that could mean anything and is said by everyone. From Ratchet scheduling another checkup to Ironhide blowing up the training room yet again. (Really, what is it with him and things going "boom"?)

9. Aaahhhh!

This one is usually most commonly heard when a new N.E.S.T. recruit sees the Bots for the first time. Now, Ironhide is saved for last. (I have absolutely no idea why. Note the sarcasm.) It also may-or-may-not be me falling off of Jazz or Bee's shoulder. Again. (While they are standing still. I really need to work on my balance. If only Hide would stop blowing up the balance beams. And the whole training room. Maybe we should just build him his own personal one.)

10. Get Back Here!

Ah, checkups! Jazz and Bee usually aren't too keen on these, hence The Hatchet yelling. Optimus is smart enough to realize that he can't get out of it, and Ironhide is usually already in the med bay anyways. (Honestly, I think he's blowing up the training room on purpose now! I thought Wheeljack and Que where the ones who blew stuff up?!)

~AN~

So, did you like it? If you have something you would like to see on here, comment or PM me. I might not use it, but I will consider it. And if I don't use it, you could always start your own!