A/N: Part two that was posted to tumblr a few days ago. Thanks again to Jessa for putting on Prompts in Panem and Court81981 for being the greatest friend/beta ever. I'm on tumblr ~ thegirlonpeetamellark :)
She couldn't function around him. She couldn't think or breathe. All she could focus on was how badly she wanted him. And she had never wanted anything like this in her life.
It was driving her crazy.
She dreaded, as much as she looked forward to, the moment when they were left alone together in the room after all the children had left. She was scared of how she felt about him and the things she would let him do to her. There was always that feeling of shame and doubt that crept over her. She thought about how the church had always instilled in her that those things were wrong and a sin, how she should wait for marriage.
"Katniss…." Peeta said with a hint of amusement in his tone as she was tidying up her desk.
"I think the play is going to be great," she replied, trying to distract him. "I can't believe it's going to be next week. We should have a couple more practice runs with all the sets and costumes before then." She forced false enthusiasm into her voice, convincing herself that if she pretended like she was only thinking about the Christmas play that Peeta would go along with it.
She was very wrong.
She felt his hand on her arm and then he was turning her around, pulling her right up against his chest. She looked up at him with wide eyes and bated breath, not even pretending anymore that she didn't desperately want this. She waited anxiously as he looked at her for a long time, a little smile on his lips. Finally, he took one hand and wrapped it around her waist and tangled the other in her hair, holding her in place as he lowered his mouth over hers.
He tasted amazing. His lips were soft but firm, and when he coaxed her mouth open with his tongue, she moaned at the feeling of his tongue dancing with hers. She was alarmingly wet, and she was vaguely aware of the fact she had lifted one of her legs up, as if she wanted to wrap it around his waist.
He laughed as he pulled away, dropping a hand to grab the leg she was offering and using it to lift her up and set her on the edge of her desk. He stepped between her legs so his hips were aligned with hers and she cried out.
She felt reckless. She was wearing a stretchy wool dress that was now pushed up around her waist. Her underwear was so wet, and it was the only barrier between his jeans and that hard bulge beneath.
"You taste as sweet as I knew you would," Peeta whispered in her ear, ducking his head to kiss her neck. His hands found her behind and he squeezed, pulling her more firmly against him.
"Oh god, Peeta!" she cried out. She knew that she was getting worked up and excited embarrassingly quickly, but she couldn't help it. She had never even so much as touched herself, and she was suddenly exploding in sensation.
"Fuck, you want it, don't you," Peeta commented as Katniss rocked her hips against him, desperately searching for pressure and friction, something to ease the burning need growing inside of her. "Let me feel you," he said, moving one hand between them as he slipped his fingers past her underwear.
She gasped at the sudden invasion of his hand; part of her couldn't believe this was happening. She couldn't believe that Peeta's hand was in her underwear, feeling the place so private and intimate she had never even allowed herself to think of it in terms of pleasure.
His fingers trailed up and down her folds moving through the arousal that was dripping down her thighs it was coming at such an alarming rate.
"Holy shit," Peeta said as he eased one finger inside her. She gasped and tensed up, suddenly unsure. She wanted him; she wanted his hands on her, but she was also scared.
"It's okay," Peeta assured her, as if he could sense her unease. He dipped his head to kiss her as he pulled his finger out from inside her and moved to that little bundle of nerves that was crying out for attention. He started to rub it in slow, deliberate circles and she groaned and rocked her hips in response.
Everything was too intense. She felt out of control. She couldn't stop now, even if she wanted to. Her hips were moving without her consent and she had no desire to stop herself. Every muscle in her body was tightening and that pleasure was growing hotter and hotter low in her belly. She clutched onto his shirt desperately and squeezed her eyes shut as everything finally hit the breaking point and she cried out.
She was trembling and clutching onto Peeta for dear life when she came back to herself. She pulled back and looked up at him shyly.
He used a finger to tilt her chin up so she was looking at him directly. He leaned down to kiss her softly and then smiled, a satisfied expression on his face.
"So…"
She laughed and shook her head. "I liked that…" she admitted, fighting back a grin.
"Hmm…I could tell," he chuckled.
She felt a twist of something uncomfortable in her chest and she frowned, hating the feeling replacing the blissful one had been experience moments before.
"What's wrong?" he asked softly.
She sighed and tried to find the right words. "I don't know if I should be doing this," she admitted carefully. "I mean…isn't it a sin…?" she trailed off not really sure what she was getting at. She wasn't even really sure she knew what she believed anymore, and that worried her. All her life, things had been pretty clear-cut. The things her father and the church told her were wrong were things she would never do. And she was pretty sure what she had just done—on the Sunday school teacher's desk no less—fell into that category.
But now, being with Peeta, she couldn't imagine how what she had just done with him could ever be considered wrong, when it not only felt amazing physically, but it felt right in her heart as well.
"Katniss," Peeta said gently, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to him. "I'll respect whatever decision you make. If you don't want to do this with me anymore, that's okay."
Her heart fluttered at how amazingly kind and understanding Peeta was. She had no doubt just about any other man would lose any and all interest the second she voiced her reservations. "But I think you want this. I think you feel this thing between us. It's real, and it's about more than just getting off."
She flushed at his words and then mentally chastised herself for it. She needed to start being a grown-up about this.
"We can go slow," Peeta whispered in her ear before joining their lips together in a gentle kiss. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for," he assured her.
Something inside her relaxed at that and she melted into his embrace. She decided she wasn't going to worry about what other people expected of her for once. She was going to do what she wanted to, and what she wanted was Peeta.
The voice in her head that expressed its disapproval at what she was doing with Peeta grew fainter and fainter.
Instead, her own voice, the one that was fully convinced she wasn't doing anything wrong by sharing her self and her body with Peeta, grew stronger and more confident every day.
She felt giddy. For the first time in her life she was truly, blissfully happy. She felt in control of her life and not as if other people were pulling the strings. If she was honest, the fact that she was now doing things she had always considered wrong and a sin made it that much more enjoyable—as if she was finally rebelling after so many years of letting outside influences dictate how she led her life.
It was exhilarating the way Peeta could just look at her across the room and she immediately felt the rush of arousal between her legs. She felt hot and antsy and eager for him to deliver on the promise the look in his eyes held.
He came up behind her after one of their final practice sessions for the Christmas play as she was organizing things on the front desk. She knew he was approaching her, but she didn't dare turn around or move. She loved letting him be in control and she always wanted whatever he was willing to give her.
"Katniss..." he hummed, slipping his arms around her waist from behind.
She arched her back and pressed her behind into his groin, already feeling desperate for his touch between her legs. She was practically panting, always so quick to get off for him.
"Mmm..." Peeta trailed kisses along the curve of her neck as she tilted her head to grant him easier access. "I had a dream about bending you over this desk last night."
Although they had done nothing more than him rubbing her between her legs until she came, her heart jumped. The thought of Peeta moving inside her, of their bodies joining together for that ultimate pleasure, in savage animal lust, made her heady with desire. She wanted him so fiercely she was ready to push aside any and all of her inhibitions and let him have his way with her.
Peeta's hands came up to cup her breasts through the silk blouse she was wearing. "I want to see these," he whispered in her ear. "I want to lick and suck them."
She whined pathetically and pushed her chest into his hands even more. They had not gotten around to removing clothes as of yet, but suddenly she wanted nothing more than to be completely bare for him.
His hand slipped past her blouse and under her bra, and then she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning embarrassingly loud as he started to tug at her nipple. She felt the direct spark between her legs as he started to knead her breast. She was so lost in her own world she almost didn't hear the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat, in the doorway across the room.
When Peeta pulled his hand away from her like he had been burnt, she came out of her daze and turned around to see what he was looking at.
Madge was standing at the doorway with an amused smirk on her face, her arms crossed in front of her chest. "You guys should probably be more careful." She smiled at them. "I could have been your dad, Katniss."
Katniss felt her face burn with shame and fear about how close they had just come to being exposed. It wasn't that she was embarrassed of Peeta or felt bad about what they were doing, but she didn't want what they shared in private to be anyone else's business except their own, least of all her father—who she was certain would not understand or approve.
Suddenly she was nearly terrified at the idea of being found out, when she didn't feel like she was even close to handling the repercussions that would come from that.
Flustered, she mumbled an excuse and an apology to both Peeta and Madge before quickly fleeing the room.
Peeta: You're not ignoring me are you?
Katniss anxiously stared down at the text message she had just received.
It was the third text she had gotten from Peeta since she had left him earlier that day after their encounter with Madge, and she had yet to respond to him.
She was reverting back to her social hermit status. As much as she wanted Peeta and felt good about what they were doing with each other, she couldn't put aside the worries and fears she had over really going to that next level with him. She wanted him so desperately that he overwhelmed her. She wanted to do things with him that scared her, if she was being honest. And she wasn't quite ready to be so open about their relationship—let alone tell her parents she was seeing an older man—which made her feel like she wasn't mature enough to handle it.
But she also cared about him too much to just ignore him completely.
Katniss: I'm sorry….
Peeta: I'm not going anywhere, Katniss. I realize this is all probably new for you, but I can be patient. I care about you a lot.
She sighed and her heart fluttered at how amazingly understanding and supportive Peeta could be. She would be a complete idiot to mess this up with him.
Her phone rang, startling her, until she saw that it was Peeta. She answered it as she moved to close and lock the door of her bedroom.
"Hello?"
"Hey gorgeous."
She smiled at that, coming back over to her bed to lie down. It was late and she was already in her pajamas. She kept her voice relatively low, because she knew her parents were asleep and their room was down the hall.
"I really am sorry about earlier," she repeated.
"Don't be sorry," Peeta assured her. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or that I'm pushing you towards something you're not ready for."
"That's just it though," she tried to explain. "It's definitely not that I don't want it, Peeta. Trust me." Once the words passed her lips she slapped a hand to her mouth, blushing red and cringing at how that came out.
"Ahhhh, okay, I think I see what's going on here," Peeta replied, and she could practically hear him grinning from ear to ear.
"Yeah, what's that?" she challenged him.
"It's the whole Catholic guilt thing over the fact that you're actually enjoying something that feels good. You don't think you're allowed to like it as much as you do because it's suppose to be wrong, right? That's what you were always led to believe at least."
She was actually pretty surprised at just how accurately that summed up what she was feeling. "I'm not Catholic," she corrected him on the technicality.
He laughed. "Yeah, but the rest of it I hit the nail on the head, didn't I?"
She chuckled and shook her head at him even though he couldn't see her.
"So I think I might know a way around that for you. And it will be beneficial for the both of us," Peeta said, grabbing her attention.
"What do you suggest?" Katniss asked.
"We don't have to try and get you to accept that what we're doing is good. We can fully embrace how bad and wrong it is instead."
For a long moment she sat there, stunned and elated at Peeta's suggestion, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She could hear her heavy breathing over the phone as neither of them said anything.
"See, I think you like being bad, Katniss…"
She clenched her thighs together, her panties wet almost instantly.
"I think you've wanted to be naughty all your life. You've never done anything but follow the rules, haven't you?" Peeta's voice had taken on the tone of smooth honey, flowing over her like a sensual caress. She was antsy and eager for his touch as she lay back in bed.
"What are you wearing, Katniss?"
She bit her lip and looked down at the tiny boy shorts she was wearing with a thin tank top. She related that to him and then closed her eyes as she hesitantly reached down to cup her mound, sighing at the pressure on her throbbing clit.
"Peeta…" she sighed as she started to rub herself over her underwear.
"Fuck, if I was there right now I'd pull your underwear down and put my mouth on your pussy, Katniss."
A sound that was a combination of a gasp and a shout fell from her lips and she instantly started to rock her hips against her hand more urgently. She slipped her hand past her panties and found just how wet his words had made her.
"You'd be pulling at my hair as I sucked on your clit and I would have to tell you to be quiet so we wouldn't get caught," Peeta continued, his breath coming fast and harsh, so she could tell he was just as turned on by this as she was.
She whined his name helplessly, unable to contribute to the conversation anything but needy moans.
"Push your fingers inside yourself and imagine it's my cock," he told her.
Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, overwhelmed at how much she enjoyed hearing him say that to her. There was not even a small part of her in this moment that felt ashamed or hesitant or embarrassed about this. She was embracing the bad for how good it could be.
"I'm so fucking hard for you," he told her, through harsh pants in her ear. "I would go slow cause you're going to be so tight, but you would take me so deep and it would be so good Katniss. God, it's going to be so good."
She was breathing hard as she fucked herself with her fingers and simultaneously rubbed her clit. She was making mewling little whines as she neared her climax. He encouraged her to come, telling her he was rubbing his cock right now and thinking of her, until eventually they exploded together over the phone.
She was satisfied and sleepy and so content as they talked on the phone a little while longer until they both fell asleep without hanging up first.
The night of the Christmas play was perfect.
She was beaming with joy as the kids recited their lines and sung the songs they had practiced together.
Afterwards, she was standing with her father as he congratulated her on a job well and introduced her to a friend of his that was a member of the church. He was an older gentleman with thinning red hair, who then introduced her to his son that was about Katniss' age. It wasn't until her father and his friend awkwardly excused themselves that she realized she was being set up.
The boy was nice enough, but he was just that: a boy. And he wasn't Peeta. She anxiously glanced around the reception room where the families had gathered after the service and play, looking for Peeta.
When she saw him across the room, her breath caught. His eyes were fixed on her, a steely blue that held her in his gaze. She hastily made something up and then excused herself from the awkward situation, smiling politely at the boy who she thought was named Darius.
When she approached Peeta across the room, he didn't say a word. He simply took her hand and led her out of the room and to the parking lot where she followed him without a word. Once they were alone in his car, he pulled her to him and kissed her until she was breathless, tangling a hand in her
"I've never been so fucking jealous in my life and you barely said a couple of words to the guy," Peeta panted as they broke away. "Fuck, Katniss you're mine." He dipped a hand under her skirt and rubbed her through her panties. She gasped and jutted her hips towards him.
"You want to be bad?" he whispered in her ear causing chills to race down her spine.
She nodded wordlessly and he reached down to undo the button and zipper of his pants. She held her breath. She had not seen or touched him yet and she was both anxious and elated at the possibility. She wanted to make him feel as good as he had made her feel, but she still considered herself woefully inexperienced and naïve in most intimate matters.
"Touch my cock," he whispered in her ear, licking the spot on her neck that made her groan.
Her chest was heaving as she reached out, and he took her hand and guided it towards him. He showed her how to grip him and how much pressure to use and where to put her thumb so he shivered with pleasure. She was surprised by how much she enjoyed the feel. He was so hot and smooth, and harder than she expected.
She watched in fascination as he told her to grip him harder and faster until eventually he was tensing and calling our her name as he came in spurts over her hand. After he cleaned them both up with napkins from his glove box, he kissed her and asked if she wanted to come back to his apartment with him.
She did—of course she did.
And when her father called her cell phone a little while later, she didn't feel bad about letting it go to voicemail and then sending him a text that she would be spending the night at her friend Annie's place.
She was naked.
And Peeta was naked.
And he was whispering passionate, vulgar, incredibly sexy things in her ear. She had already come twice—first from dry humping Peeta as she straddled his lap while they made out on his couch, and then from his fingers rubbing her clit until she was seeing stars.
"We don't have to do this," Peeta whispered in her ear. The words seemed silly though, considering she could feel the length of him hard and hot on her inner thigh where his hips were nestled between her legs. "We can wait," he added, but she could tell how hard he was breathing and how bad he wanted this. "I still want to taste you," he said between kisses. "And I want to watch you suck my cock."
She mewled pathetically, her hands digging into his back to pull him closer.
"I need you now," she told him, moving her hips eagerly.
He reached for a condom on his nightstand and put it on while she waited patiently. When he was done, he looked up at her and cupped her face in his hand. "You sure?" he asked, his tone and face serious. "This is a big deal…"
She swallowed past the lump in her throat and smiled at him. If there had been any doubt in her mind before this moment, the way Peeta asked her that question would have made that apprehension disappear.
She knew with absolute certainty that this is what she wanted. There was nothing that could convince her that what she shared with Peeta was truly wrong in any way. She had fallen in love with him and she wanted to share her body with him.
She nodded wordlessly and he kissed her again before he guided himself inside her.
She gasped a little at the intrusion, the thick, hard length of him stretching and spreading her open. It pinched and burned just a bit and with a final quick thrust of his hips he was sheathed to the hilt. He didn't waste time pulling back and then pushing back inside her again, the pleasure rolling through her in waves.
"You feel so fucking good," Peeta panted in her ear. "Your pussy was made for me."
She got lost in sensation after that: her fingernails digging into the skin of his ass to pull him deeper; his hips slamming against her in desperate frenzy; the sound of their moans and the feel of their sweat collecting on their skin.
The pleasure coiled tight and fast until she shattered beneath him, crying out his name when she came, with him following soon after. When he pulled out of her she felt strangely bereft for a moment, until he pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her neck.
The last thought she had before sleep pulled her under was that she was glad she had decided to stop doing what she was told.
This had been worth the risk.
Her father asked her to attend the community fundraiser the church was hosting.
She smiled and assured him she would.
She tried to be even more agreeable than usual lately, to make up for the time she spent with Peeta, which she was certain her father would not approve of.
The occasion was catered and held at the mayor's house. She put on her nicest, most modest, nearly knee-length black dress and accompanied both of her parents to the affair.
She wasn't having the time of her life, smiling and nodding and making polite conversation with her father's acquaintances, but she wasn't totally miserable either.
That was, until she saw him.
Peeta with his hand around Madge's waist. Peeta smiling and nodding and charming the crowd of people around him.
She felt her heart drop and although logically she knew the truth—that it wasn't like that, that he was just being a friend, that Madge wasn't even attracted to men—the sight of Peeta with someone else still made her feel physically ill.
She must have been staring at him for too long, because suddenly he caught her eye and his face paled with shock, clearly not expecting to see her there.
She mumbled an excuse to her parents and the people around her, and quickly made a dash across the room, searching desperately for the closest bathroom. She got as far as a secluded hallway when she felt his hand around her arm, pulling her towards him and begging her to just stop and listen.
She couldn't sort out the mess of thoughts in her head — jealousy over seeing him with another woman, logic telling her that she had already known about him helping Madge and that it wasn't as if she had anything to worry about, anger that he hadn't at least told her he was still playing along for Madge's sake.
So instead she did the only thing she could think to do in that moment: She pushed him into the empty bathroom nearby and locked the door behind her.
"Katniss..." Peeta began desperately, taking a step towards her.
She moved around him and then pushed against his chest until his back was flat against the door.
Then she sunk to her knees.
Her hands were trembling as she struggled to undo his belt and get his pants and boxers down past his hips.
"Wh-what are you doing?" Peeta stuttered out. He was making no move to stop her, but he was clearly confused about what was going on.
His cock that had grown hard at the sight of her kneeling before him sprang free, and she took it in her hand and glanced up at him with a determined glint in her eyes.
"You don't want me to suck your cock?" she asked curiously, her panties already damp at the idea of doing this to him.
She wasn't sure where the sudden urge had come from, but suddenly the desire to reaffirm to herself and to him that he was hers and not Madge's and that nothing else mattered overwhelmed her. She wanted him in her mouth. She wanted his cum on her tongue and teeth and lips. She wanted to do the one thing that the old Katniss would have been way too afraid to do because it was so wrong.
But she didn't mind being bad anymore. And he had given that to her.
"Dear god..." Peeta breathed out in awe, sinking back against the door as Katniss' pink tongue reached out and flicked the head of his dick tentatively. He took her long dark hair in his hands and pulled it back away from her face, watching in fascination as she took him fully in her mouth, her tongue swirling around his shaft eagerly.
"Yeah, just like that," he encouraged her, his hand involuntarily on her head now, guiding her motions. He whispered gentle encouragements to her as she continued, instructing her how to lick and suck his shaft and cup his balls and to cover her teeth.
She moaned as his hips started to thrust slightly into her mouth as if he couldn't help herself.
"Fuck, I'm going to come," Peeta grunted, his entire body going tight with his impending release. He made an effort to move away, but Katniss wouldn't let him, pumping his shaft a few times to encourage him to finish in her mouth.
When he was done, she released him and rose to her feet as he tried to get a hold of himself. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her head into the crook of his shoulder.
"I'm not sure where that came from," Peeta finally broke the silence after a while, speaking into her hair, "but I'm not going to complain. You're incredible."
She pulled back and looked up into his eyes. "And you're mine," she stated firmly, hoping he understood the look in her eyes.
"Only yours," he agreed, leaning down to giver her a quick kiss. "I promise. Always yours," he added, his hands snaking around her waist to pull her against him more firmly.
She took a step back and lifted herself up on the bathroom counter, awkwardly pulling down her panties past her knees and spreading her legs. "I want you to fuck me right here and prove it," she told him, a dark glint in her eyes. She was feeling wild and reckless, and it didn't matter that there was a huge party outside the door.
It never occurred to her that her parents might be wondering where she had run off to.
Peeta swallowed hard, taking a step forward. He took himself in his hand, already hard again, pumping himself a few times before stepping between her legs.
"I don't have anything with me..." he admitted regretfully.
"I don't care," she panted, scooting closer to the edge of the counter.
"Katniss..." Peeta said, in what was probably meant to be a warning. He sucked in a breath though and made no attempt to stop her as she guided him to her entrance.
"Fuck me," she commanded him, biting down on his ear lobe as he slid inside her.
"Goddamn, Katniss," Peeta grunted, his hands going to her behind and pulling her against him so he could control the pace of his thrusts. "You get this wet just from sucking my cock?" he asked her.
She nodded her head in response, having lost the ability to form words at the feel of him completely bare inside her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and linked her legs together at the ankles behind him.
"I'm going to make you fucking scream my name when you come," he promised her, one hand slipping between them as he sought out her clit. "I want to hear you, Katniss."
She lost all sense of everything. She was moaning and grunting and begging him for it harder and faster as he pounded her into ecstasy. She was lost to the feel of his cock inside her and the knowledge that this amazing man was hers.
When she came she did so loudly, panting and trembling and desperately holding on to Peeta. He pulled out and pushed her dress up, coming on her stomach with a groan as she leaned back against the bathroom mirror tiredly with a sated smile.
As they cleaned up and returned to themselves, they suddenly became aware of the commotion outside. There seemed to be a lot of yelling and pounding on the bathroom door that got lost with the other noises of the party.
Katniss shot Peeta a worried look and he put his arm around her in assurance.
When they opened the door they were greeted with the outraged and baffled faces of Katniss' parents. Madge was there, too, looking chagrinned and amused, with an older gentleman by her side who Katniss thought might be the mayor.
Katniss' mouth hung open in disbelief, her face red with embarrassment, looking back and forth between the faces of her parents, who were clearly in shock. They kept glancing back and forth between her and Peeta, clearly trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
If they had been outside the bathroom door for as long as Katniss feared they had, she was certain they knew exactly what had happened but they were just having trouble believing or accepting it.
Katniss looked to Peeta for support, but she saw he was eyeing Madge and the mayor beside her, who Katniss now remembered was Madge's father.
He opened his mouth to speak, clearly about to apologize, when Madge spoke up for him.
"I guess now is a good a time as any to tell everyone I'm gay."