A/N: Yes, it's a short update but after a year, it's the best I got. I'm so far removed from SOA but I appreciate every comment and PM you guys have sent. Hopefully, I'll get into some sort of groove. I'm still a sucker for Jax/Tara FF. Please ignore any editing errors. As usual, all recognizable characters are not mine.
Chapter 13
Tara gets out of the shower to find Abel and Olivia on her bedroom flooring playing with hot wheels. "Hey buddy." Tara secures her robe with its tie. "I thought you and Thomas were playing. How did Liv get out of the playpen?" Good thing she didn't linger in the shower.
"Thomas is with Wendy." Abel's nose crinkles as he says the woman's name. "Grandma took Liv out of the playpen but Liv wanted to stay with me." The smile that lights up his face is blinding and causes her to smile as well.
"Liv loves her big brother." She tries to focus on the bond that Abel is creating with Liv and not the fact that Gemma and Wendy have helped themselves to her house and family once again. "Are they cooking breakfast?" She attempts to ask nonchalantly as she dresses.
"I think so." He answers in confusion. "I told them you do that after your shower." He shrugs.
"No big deal." Tara drops a kiss to his head as she walks out to face the internal battle the kitchen would no doubt bring. The two women are whispering as she enters and the phrase thick as thieves runs through her mind.
"We're just planning Abel's birthday." The queen smirks with a shrug as she takes cinnamon rolls from the oven.
Suddenly Tara is back to a time when she was walking through the hospital corridor making childcare suggestions for an infant Abel, only to have Gemma railroad her. "I'll plan my son's birthday, thank you very much." Her words are directed to the matriarch herself but her jade orbs never leave Wendy's. She holds her arms out for Thomas and thanks God when the boy leaves Wendy's embrace eagerly. "I would appreciate it if you called to okay a visit before you decided to come by from now on."
"Oh." Wendy moves her mouth as she contemplates her next move.
"She came with me." Gemma interrupts.
"And she can leave with you." Tara announces as she starts to leave with kitchen with Thomas. "I'm home now. The revolving door is no longer necessary." As she carries her son to his room to get dressed a plan is already formulating in her mind.
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"Oh, excuse me." Tara is busy wrangling a wayward Thomas through the grocery store door while juggling Olivia on her hip when she plows into someone. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay." A polite voice laughs. "I remember wrestling a little one myself once."
The smile on the mother's face is instant when she meets the face of the woman with a polite voice. "Precious, how are you?"
Instead of answering she smiles, "Welcome home." She reaches out to tickle Olivia's belly. "And congratulations, she's a beauty."
"Thank you." The proud mother moves around as customers are trying to get out the door. "How are you? How's Tiki?" The nickname still makes her wince.
"I'm okay." Precious nods to an empty bench on the inside for them to sit. "Tiki is…Tiki."
"Is the asthma doing better?" The doctor in her can't help but ask.
"That doc you recommended is wonderful." Precious' blond curls move to match the eager nod. "Expensive but worth it."
Tara winces. "I'd question how that was coming along but I've seen TM's books and it isn't pretty." Tara warned Bobby that the pulmonologist she recommended wouldn't take state insurance and that it would be expensive. She pulls a pack of crackers from her purse to entertain Thomas for a few minutes as she could tell he was getting bored.
"I've given up on getting any financial help from him, Tara." Precious reaches for Olivia but she refuses to come.
"Sorry." Tara smiles with a shrug. "I think that stranger anxiety is finally starting to kick in."
"Don't be sorry." Precious stands, adjusting her purse strap on her shoulder. "She loves her momma; nothing wrong with that." She bends over to give the other woman a hug. "Lowell mentioned you were home and I know better than to make myself known….but I'm glad I ran into you."
Tara stands as well. "I'm glad too." She really means it. After everything she's been through with Jax, her appreciation for any old lady who makes it out semi-normal is real. "You take care of yourself and Tiki too!"
"I will." She smiles sadly. "You and Jax are real lucky….got three beautiful babies….healthy and still together after everything."
Yeah, really lucky, Tara thinks to herself as she watches the other woman leave, she regrets it instantly because even with Abel's heart defect and all his birth trauma, he's doing well and she is truly blessed.
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"Hey." Later that night, Jax comes in through the garage door and finds Tara at the small table on a laptop. From the quiet it is obvious the kids are already down for the night. "You still working on TM stuff?" Bobby and Juice were setting some stuff up so Tara could work from her laptop at home if she wanted. He didn't really understand it but was happy his wife was taking a real interest in the shop. It stirred something in his chest and gave him the desire to focus on the shop that his father worked so hard to build.
"No." She stretches a bit. "I've moved on to job searches. Dinner is in the microwave."
"Job searches?" He hits the botton on the microwave that automatically heats things for sixty seconds. "Babe, you just got home." The anxiety he feels is instant. Why does she want to go back to work so quickly?
"PO doesn't care."
"Take a check from TM." He pulls out a seat and across from her and begins to eat. "You're busting your ass for it anyway."
"I told Bobby I'd help as long as I could do it from home." She knows she needs to address the elephant in the room but isn't sure where to begin. "When your mom figures out what the hell she is doing, she can take it all back over."
He's been dreading this conversation since she got out. But he's put it off long enough. "There's some things I need to tell you…"
"Okay." She closes the laptop because he looks so serious. "What's up?"
"I want you carrying." The only sound either hear is the metal fork hitting his plate. "There's things that have been lingering….I couldn't handle it with you on the inside but…"
"Stop!" She interrupts. "Don't say anything else. I don't want to know. I can't know."
"Babe-"
"Don't!" She pushes the laptop over to the side. "This only works if old lady's know everything or know nothing?"
"Yea…" His throat is tightening and his chest feels strange. He really doesn't want to continue this conversation.
"Well, I knew everything." She takes a deep breath and keeps her eyes closed. "Or enough….and you see how well that worked out." Her eyes finally open and her glossy gaze meets his. "This time, I know nothing. I can't go back to prison, Jax. I won't."
"You're right, you're not going back to prison." He reaches for her hand and it is cold. "I promise, babe."
"Do not make promises you can't keep." He feels the loss of her touch immediately. "I want nothing to do with SAMCRO. I want to know NOTHING. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"I'm trying to protect you, Tara—"
"I don't want protection." She cries. "I want to raise my kids. I want to keep my head down and get through probation. I want to try to have a normal life-find a job that lets me provide for my kids- I'm not going-"
"OUR KIDS!" He interrupts in a fevered whisper. "And it's my job to provide for our family-"
"I want them raised on clean money, Jax." Her sniffle is the only indication of how close she's coming to losing it.
"TM is clean!"
"Maybe is was once." She shrugs. "Maybe it could be. I don't know but it's too involved with SAMCRO now. You want to collect a check from there and use it for bills? Great, you do that. But I'm not sitting in that office day in and day out—I'm bound to have something come up that I don't want to be involved in. And I'm sure as hell never carrying a weapon. I'm not going back to prison for some bullshit PO violation."
They stare each other down. The only sound heard is their labored breathing. She watches as he processes everything she's said. "I don't know how to not talk to you, Tara." She was his best friend. He's missed telling her things and getting her input. She was right, he never told her everything club related; but he sure as shit told her a lot. So many times, he just needed her to listen to him, she was the only one who would sometimes. She never judged him, even when she was frightened and disappointed in him or the things he had done.
"I'm sorry, baby." She whispers, her throat thick with tears. "It has to be this way. It's the only way this can work."
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The next morning, Tara purposely sets her alarm earlier than usual. She's showered, dressed, and has croissants in the oven before any of the kids are awake. She stares at the unmade bed while brushing her hair. So Jax never came home last night. She wasn't surprised after the conversation they had last night. She's pulled from her thoughts when her phone chirps, letting her know she has a new text.
"You must be Lizzie's friend, James?" Tara speaks softly as she lets text sender in the front door.
"Yes." He shakes her hand as he steps inside. "She said you needed some locks changed. Quickly and quietly?"
"Yes." Tara nods as she takes a bag from under the sink. "I bought three new sets. I want the front, back, and garage changed."
"I'll get started." He grins from his spot at the front door. "So? Should I be on the lookout for a psycho ex?"
"More like psycho mother in law, actually." She grins. James laughs uncomfortably. "I'm not kidding. She's rabid. If you'll excuse me, I need to wake my children."
By the time Tara returns to the living room with all three kids dressed for the day, James is finishing up the garage lock. Tara sits the kids down and gives the boys each a cooled off croissant. "They have ham and cheese on them." She drops a kiss to each boy's head. "You'll like them." She drops a handful of cheerios to Olivia's highchair tray. "James, there is a ham and cheese croissant here for you too when you are finished." Tara gives each child a cup of milk before carrying Abel's bookbag and her diaper bag out the garage door to her SUV. Much to her relief, James finishes installing all three new locks before any unwanted company comes.
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Jax hasn't even cut the engine off on his bike in his spot at the garage before Gemma is storming out from her office. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see she's pissed by the scowl on her face and her rigid posture. "Where the hell have you been?" She demands. She's spent the morning trying to track him down.
"Busy." He growls, not being in any sort of mood to deal with his angry mother. "What's your problem?"
"For starters," She huffs with hands on her hips, "I haven't been able to locate you all day. What if there was an emergency?"
He clips his helmet around the handlebars before pulling out a cigarette. He tilts the open pack to her as an offer. "That's rich." He smirks. "It isn't like you spend a lot of time around TM these days, either."
"I'm a busy woman, shithead." She finally cracks a smile and waits for him to light the cigarette he offered. "Went by your house this morning…your old lady changed the locks."
The smirk is instant because for the most part, he finds it funny as hell. He's been around the two of these strong women enough to know not to fall for his mother's attempt to put him in the middle of the shit brewing between them. "And?"
"And?" She laughs humorlessly. "That's all you have to say?" Another long drag of her Marlboro resumes. "I assume she gave you the new key?"
She didn't. In fact, he was completely unaware she changed said locks, but he'd be damned to admit that to his mother. "You aren't getting a copy from me." He laughs, dropping his cigarette and stomping on it. "There isn't a need for you to stop by as you please now that Tara's home." Now that he ponders it, he's surprised she didn't do this sooner. Her irritation over the revolving door was obvious to everyone, including him. "Look mom," His tone softens, "you have to give us time to find our new normal; get our footing again." He squeezes her arm and drops a kiss to her cheek. "Kay?"
"Sure." She's not okay with it, the roll of her eyes tells him. "Hey, who's been touching shit in my office?" The question is yelled to his back as he's walking away from her and into the clubhouse.
"Your office?" He shrugs. "This is the first time I've seen you here in weeks."
He never does answer her but his non answer confirms her suspicions.