A/N: This is not the fic I promised when I concluded Beginnings. This is a completely different fic that I couldn't get out of my head, lol. As most of you know, I am big on sticking to the characters history and timeline. So everything through 606 is the same as on-screen. In this fic, there was no fake pregnancy or miscarriage. Tara is in fact pregnant with Baby Teller #3. Despite Jax's reassurances, Tara is in fact convicted for her role in the Pamela Toric murder. This fic shows an esteemed doctor losing her career and a big part of her life. Can the Jax and Tara love survive? Is there any coming back from the loss and guilt to find their way through this mess? It promises to be angsty folks. Hope you enjoy! AS ALWAYS SUTTER OWNS THESE AWESOME CHARACTERS, I'M JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH THEM A BIT ;)

August 2013

"Dr. Tara Knowles-Teller, you are hereby sentenced to be remanded to the Stockton County Department of Corrections for women for a period of six years."

The words ran on continuous play in the young woman's mind as there was hardly anything else to think about inside this place. She pushes the thoughts of Jax's tortured shout of "NO!" that followed the verdict. Tara must file that into the "do not think about if possible" part of her brain. She had her precious boys filed there as well but it was useless. She couldn't not think of them. This was all of her worst fears playing out like a heartbreaking tragedy. This was exactly why she left Charming all those years ago. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she'd eventually end up here. It was the price of having an outlaw for a soulmate. If it wouldn't be a sign of weakness, she'd give in to the sobs that were constantly threatening to escape.

"Doc!" The prison guard broke her from her thoughts. She cringed at the name, they all called her doc around here. They loved to rub it in the fact that an esteemed doctor was now a convicted felon. "You have visitors." Unlocking the cell door and waiting for her to put her hands in front of her, the guard mutters, "Again," as she places the metal cuffs around her wrists. She stands there stoically as the guard pats her down for any contraband or smuggled goods. Visitors implied more than one, letting her know that it was her husband along with her boys. If it was just Jax, she would be inclined to deny the visit. Her husband had her scheme figured out though so he rarely attempted to come alone now. Walking down the cold, impersonal corridor Tara tries to find peace in Lowen's confidence. She swore that it was good news to be guilty of the accomplice to murder charge versus the conspiracy to commit murder charge. She said it was less jail time and an earlier possibility of parole. But looking at the bland gray walls, Tara finds it hard to find any peace or comfort but that all changes at the sound of another name someone is calling her.

This someone has an excited voice and Tara can't help but smile at Abel's jubilant, "MOMMY!" In her excitement, she almost forgets to wait for the cuffs to be removed and her smile lessens. Automatically, she meets Jax's gaze and realizes he noticed her fumble as well, thankfully Abel did not and Tara soon finds her arms full of her very excited, newly-turned five year old.

"Hi, baby!" She smiles as she inhales his scent. "Someone have ice cream already this morning?" She glances at the clock to check the time. It didn't make sense, even though clocks weren't housed in the cells, she was well aware of when visiting hours were. Every Wednesday and Saturday 10AM-11AM.

"Chucky." Jax shrugs, almost in an apology as he stands. With both boys between them, he's only able to give her a side hug and he has to tamper down his anger at the fact that he can't even touch his wife the way he wants to. At least that is what he's blaming the anger on and not the fact that she didn't lean into his side hug or attempt to embrace him at all.

Tara sits Abel down on the bench and reaches for Thomas. "Hello, baby." She whispers with a kiss to his head. Jax takes a seat when he realizes that his wife has no intention of making physical contact with him at all and she soon follows suit, sitting across from him.

"Are you okay in here?" He whispers huskily.

It takes an effort not to roll her eyes. This is the same conversation they have weekly. "I'm fine." She takes a deep breath but doesn't meet his gaze as she prepares for his next question.

"And the baby?" She finally looks at him but he's looking at her stomach and the tiny bump he can probably make out beneath her orange uniform.

"Fine, too, I think." She tries to smile, for the boys if not anything else.

"Are you sure?" He pushes. Usually, he doesn't push so she's a bit taken aback.

"Prenatal care in here sucks." She replies, honesty making the words clipped. "But I have no reason to think anything other than the baby is ok."

Finally they are looking at each other and the storm is brewing between icy blue orbs and olive green orbs. There was a time when they could have an entire conversation with no words, just their eyes. Now, those very orbs hide so much pain and lies behind them that it would take forever to figure it out. And forever is a luxury they no longer have.

"Look mommy!" Abel breaks the tension. "I colored this for you!" He colored the picture of a t-rex when they left last week and hasn't stopped talking about how he was saving it for mommy since.

"Thank you." She kisses the top of his head and pulls him close. "I love it and I love you." Jax's heart breaks as his son basks in his mother's love. Tara clears her throat and looking over Abel's head softly asks Jax, "I thought we decided you wouldn't keep bringing them here?"

"We didn't decide." He clears his throat and leans across the table into her a bit. "You suggested. I disagreed." He takes a deep breath. "They need to see you, Tara." And you need to see them, he wants to add.

"They shouldn't be here. In this place." She sighs and like clockwork, alarms start going off and a lockdown is issued. "Shit!" She groans, expecting her visit to come to an abrupt halt. "This is my point," she shrugs, "this is no place for them to be."

Jax watches as three guards share words and then one takes off, leaving two to secure the visiting area. He looks around and notes the panic visible on the other visitor's faces. "How often do you go on lockdown?" He asks.

"What?" She leans across, trying to hear him, but she swears the alarms are getting louder. Abel covers his ears and scoots as close as possible to his mother while Thomas starts screaming. She can't help but absorb his anxiety. Unfortunately for the boys, they were stuck here too. She tries to calm both boys as best as possible and feels like a failure more and more with each wail Thomas lets out. Abel, her sweet boy, calms in her embrace. "I'm so sorry babies." She sniffles but refuses to give into the tears. As the alarms quiet, so does Thomas and both parents are thankful.

"I'm trying to get you out of here, Tara." His voice is full of emotion.

"You can't." She has to swallow the lump in her throat that is a result of his thick voice. "The best I can hope for is probation in a few years. That's not fair to you or the boys." Christ, she felt like this conversation was always the same. And why the hell were her boys still in Charming? Everything she had done was to secure their freedom from the poisonous town in the event of her arrest. She decides to feel Jax out a bit, "School is starting soon. Have you gotten anything in the mail from Pilgrim Grove?"

"Uh….no, not anything I've seen." He admits, obviously mentally thinking of the mail he's looked at. "I've been kind of busy, babe." He admits sheepishly.

"Well, I already paid the deposit." She huffs. "I want Abel to go there. You agreed." She gives into the memory a bit.

Jax had come home that evening and saw her looking through all sorts of booklets at the kitchen table. "What's this, babe?" He asks, dropping a kiss to her neck.

"Kindergarten curriculum and stuff. I had no idea it was such a big deal." She smiles up at him in exasperation. "There are so many options. I don't want to screw this up. I mean this is our son's education. And do you know some of these places have a wait list and require deposits?"

"Seriously?" He asks, looking in the microwave and is excited to see that she saved him a plate for dinner. "It's kindergarten! Seems kinda ridiculous to me."

"I thought so too at first." She grins as he heats up his plate and she starts making piles for the paperwork so there is room for him to sit with his plate. "But times are changing. All this technology and stuff, completely different from when we were growing up."

"Somethings maybe." He grins, when the microwave beeps and he pulls out a can of soda before sitting across from her. "Bet you our boy comes home with his first crush the first week of school."

"Ugh, really Jax?" She tries in vain to roll her eyes in disgust. "He's still my baby."

"He's my boy, isn't he?" The smirk he gives is full of youth. "I'm telling you, babe. Watch."

"I have something you can tell me." She grins, knowing his mind will take him someplace naughty. "I've narrowed the choice down to these two." She pushes two piles of paperwork his way and he groans. "Help me pick which one."

"You gonna help me out with something in the bedroom when we're done?" There is definitely a plea in that question.

"Maybe." She replies saucily but the foot she runs up his leg is a dead giveaway. Jackson Teller will have his way with his wife as soon as they settle on a school for their oldest son.

"I did agree, babe." Jax tries to smile. He honestly did forget. His days are spent trying to juggle everything and everyone within his family and his club. Every waking minute he is trying to come up with something to get her out of this hellhole. "I'll figure it out. Abel will start school with the rest of the kids."

It wasn't really what she wanted to hear. She didn't want her boys near Charming at all but if they had to be there, she wanted Abel to be exposed to options other than SAMCRO as soon as possible. "I can't believe they haven't mailed anything." She notes. "Has your mom been going through our mail?" Gemma definitely wouldn't be happy with their choice of education for Abel.

He takes an uncomfortable deep breath as Thomas tugs on Tara's hair. Shit between his mom and his wife was tense to say the least. "Possibly." He admits. "I'll get everything figured out. I promise."

You promised me I wouldn't go to jail too and look where I am, the words are on the tip of her tongue. It takes everything in her not to throw them in his face. Suddenly Abel looks up from his new drawing, "Maybe Wendy has your mail mommy."

"Wendy?" The stiffness in her posture and the change in breathing is noticeable to Jax a mile away. "Why would Wendy have our mail?"

Tara's icy glare meets his dead on and he is confused. Wasn't Wendy what she wanted? "She's been watching the boys, helping Gemma."

"Helping Gemma?" Tara squeezes the top of her nose, trying to tamp down her anger in the presence of her children. "The whole point of Wendy being near them was so Grandma wasn't." She bites out the words through clenched teeth.

"What?" He sighs in frustration, nothing he did anymore was the right thing. "I thought that was the whole point of all that guardianship shit you had going on? If something happened I thought you wanted Wendy to step up and help out?" Otherwise, that pathetic junkie wouldn't be near his kids. He was just trying to fulfill Tara's wishes, do something for her when he felt so useless otherwise.

The anger and frustration that rises in her makes her want to destroy something. She can just envision these two running her house like they own it, running her family, wait…was Wendy running her husband too? If not now, how long before she was? The small alarm sounds letting them know visiting hour is over in five minutes. "Tell Lowen I need to see her." She tells her husband. "Now."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Tara, I hear you." Lowen says in the attorney/client room of the jail. "But you need to calm down."

"Calm down?" Perhaps she would be calmer if Lowen hadn't waited 24 hours before coming. What part of "now" had Lowen or Jax confused? "What the hell is Wendy doing?"

"I'm not sure." The lawyer admits. "When I saw her at Lumpy's last week, I asked her and she said that she didn't want to take the boys from Gemma or Jax."

"It's not about Jax." Tara sighs. "So, what suddenly all her bitching about me getting the boys out means nothing? All the shit she's written about Gemma and SAMCRO doesn't mean anything?"

"Her written testimony won't mean too much is she disputes it." Lowen replies sadly. "She can just claim that you coerced her or that she wrote it in anger and it isn't true…anything like that."

"I didn't coerce shit!" A sob releases. "My boys are going to get sucked into this hell. I know it." A tear escapes. "If they even make it out alive." She remembers the clubhouse exploding and Jax narrowly making it out with Abel. She was livid, her anger at Gemma, Wendy, SAMCRO, and Jax tangible but most of all she was angry at herself. Her love for Jackson Teller made her weak. Once she found out that she was in fact carrying their child, she could no longer go through with her plans of a fake miscarriage. She couldn't bring herself to rat out the crimes of Jax and the club to the DA. No, the reason Tara Knowles-Teller was behind bars and her boys were getting sucked into SAMCRO was on her and her love for Jax. She vowed to herself to never make that mistake again. If by some miracle, she ever had another opportunity presented to save her boys she would take it, no matter who was hurt in the crossfire. "Do you still have the written testimony Wendy gave you?"

"Of course." Her attorney assures her. "It's in your case file. But like I said…it's useless without her backing it up."

"I understand." The mentally exhausted mother nods. "You should make a few copies. Store them in various safe locations. You know, just in case."

"Oooookay." Lowen hesitantly asks, "What about your testimony?"

"Shred it." Tara replies with an empty look in her eyes. "And then burn it."