Family Matters

Twilight Sparkle hated mother's day.

She couldn't say for sure when the hatred had started, when a date on a calendar began turning her insides to ice.

She had never been particularly fond of the day. Moving to Ponyville three years before had somehow increased her distaste for the holiday. All of her friends seemed to love the day. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were off visiting their families in Cloudsdale. Pinkie Pie had baked a special cake for her mother and returned to the rock farm. Rarity may have had disagreements with her parents, but even she was off with Sweetie Belle and her parents on a day trip to Canterlot. Even Applejack, who had every reason to dislike the day being an orphan and all, went with her family to visit the cairns where her mother and mother's family was buried. Twilight had passed them on her walk around Ponyville. Applebloom, Applejack, Granny Smith and Big Mac were gathered around the memorial stones sharing stories and pouring libations to the Ancestors. For Earth Ponies the dead were not truly dead. The Ancestors of long ago were just as much a part of the family as those members that were still living. Twilight admired their earthy, ancestral religion even if she'd never been able to believe that there was life after death. She sat down by a tree. She'd sent a card. That was enough or so she tried to convince herself. Why couldn't she visit her parents like the rest of her friends? Applejack's mother was dead for Gods' sake and Applejack still made time to visit her.

Because you don't want to. You're a failure as a daughter. Sure, you're among the most powerful unicorns of your generation, an Element Bearer, an accomplished scholar, but as a daughter you fail and you fail hard. That nagging, critical voice that sounded suspiciously like her mother said.

Oh yeah? Twilight retorted. Maybe SHE failed as a mother.

That was the crux of the issue. Twilight searched her memory and recalled only one incident where her mother had ever held her. She did occasionally read her bedtime stories. Yet, most of her childhood memories revolved around punishment. When she was younger, Twilight was always being punished. Even the smallest mistake would get her sent to bed without supper for weeks on end. She had once been sent to bed without supper for three months for playing in the rain without a rainjacket. Other fillies would have only been scolded if that for such an offense. She was denied supper if she made less than an A on an assignment, if she struck the wrong note on the piano her mother had tried to make her learn, if there was even a mote of dust in her room after she cleaned it. Sometimes, it felt as if she were being punished for her very existence. Sometimes, she wanted to stop existing. She began the breathing technique Cadence had taught her and gently herded her mind from such thoughts. She lost a lot of weight when she was a child. She secretly suspected her magic was so strong because she had to draw from it simply to survive those long, hungry times. She had probably been using magic unconsciously since she was very young. Her big brother best friend had also helped her by bringing her food secretly (though he was punished when he was caught). When Celestia took her in as her personal student it was the greatest day of her life. But, it was also frightening. Would Celestia be even stricter than her mother? She had only been six years old, but she'd already learned to fear those in authority. Celestia, however, had only been gentle and kind. She recalled the first time she had made a mistake as Celestia's student. While trying an advanced telekinetic spell under the Solar Princess's guidance she had dropped the heavy vases she'd been holding up.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Twilight cried as she prostrated on the floor whimpering and crying.

"My faithful student, what's wrong? You held the vases for as long as a unicorn of your level could be expected too. Why are you crying?"

"I f-failed."

Celestia lowered herself so that she was next to the distraught filly and nuzzled her. "Shh, shh. It's alright."

"Am I allowed to eat today?"

Celestia drew back. "Why would you…Twilight, listen to me."

Twilight looked up at her with tear-stained eyes.

"I would never allow a single one of my subjects to go hungry if I could help it. How much more that goes for colts and fillies. And you, my precious student, I would most of all never allow to go hungry."

Twilight stared at her in awe bordering on worshipful reverence. At the Summer Sun Celebration she had witnessed Celestia's power when she had raised the sun. Now, she witnessed her compassion. She nuzzled into Celestia's chest and Celestia held her close.

She worshiped Celestia. Celestia denied being a goddess, claiming to be merely an extraordinarily powerful unicorn. But Twilight worshipped her. She had followed her around, even accompanying her to court. Celestia had never complained and simply allowed her to sit quietly by her throne. Everyone thought she was her heir apparent. They had had tea together daily. Sometimes, when she had nightmares, she had slept nestled in Celestia's hooves. Celestia was her teacher, goddess and savior. There were times when she had punished her, but even those were gentle and designed to help her become a better pony. Once, she had insulted a janitor and as punishment Celestia had made her mop the castle floors to 'give her an appreciation of hard work.' Celestia's most faithful student simply was not allowed to be a snob. Twilight reflected that that was why she was able to get along with common ponies. After the punishment Celestia would talk to Twilight about what she'd done wrong, but also hug and reassure her that she was forgiven for whatever infraction she'd committed. Forgiveness had been a foreign concept before Celestia had taught it to her. Celestia had also been more of a mother to her than her own mother and that made her feel guilty. Celestia hadn't given birth to her.

But she wished she had. Oh how she wished she had. She sometimes had daydreams about being Celestia's true, blood daughter. Those daydreams filled her with crushing guilt, but she couldn't help it. Celestia had gently guided her through life, teaching her and supporting her. Her blood mother had given her an anxiety disorder. With that depressing thought she began trotting back towards the library, but stopped when she saw a remarkable sight. Rainbow Dash was being mushy. Specifically, she was in the middle of broad daylight, in public, hugging a certain orange pegasus filly. Twilight blinked. Dash was known for many things. Public displays of affection were not among them. Dash let Scootaloo go and the filly scampered down the road while Dash returned to her weather duties. She was holding something in her hand.

"Hi, Scootaloo." Twilight said as she scampered past.

"Hi, Twilight." Scootaloo responded.

"What did you give Dash?" Twilight asked, unable to restrain her curiosity.

"Oh, just a card for Mother's Day." Scootaloo answered slightly blushing. "I mean, I know she's not my real mom. My real mom's not around. But Rainbow Dash does take care of me. That makes sense, right?"

Twilight nodded. "I know just what you mean."

She returned home to her library. "Spike, take a letter."

…

Celestia sipped her tea and rested on her cushion. Court had been tiring today, but a cup of chamomile always refreshed her. Suddenly a letter appeared.

I bet it's from Twilight. Another friendship report no doubt. She read it and her eyes misted. She smiled. Oh, Twilight…

She used her magic to retrieve the scrap book she put all of Twilight's letters in and gave this one a place of honor.

The letter read,

Dear Princess Celestia,

I wanted to thank you for all you've done for me. For taking care of me, helping to raise me, teaching me everything I know. I wanted to thank you for letting me follow you around at court when I was a child, allowing me to sleep with you when I was frightened. I wanted to thank you for being like my mother all these years.

Happy Mother's Day,

Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle.