Chapter 5: Volume I - Chapter Three


Ace let out a deep sigh, "Man, it's been years since you did your first mission."

"Did time really fly this fast?"

She nodded, "Uh huh. Blame our publisher for abandoning your own project."

"What project?"

"How not to deal with women."

Ragna narrowed his eyes, "You're shitting me."

"I don't. It's in Parallel Universe Number Twenty Six." She swiped her finger on the black technology, which is called a smartphone, and she held it out on him, "Look here. Your future book."

"Huh." He had to admit, he was curious as to why he did that... even if it's not technically him.

Ace clapped her hands. "Chop, chop! It's time for your next mission!"

The room brightened up, revealing the same hotel living room they were in previously. Ragna finally realized they were talking in total blackness. How they managed to interact without problem... ah, screw it.


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Mission Objective: Finish Tutorial For Newbs: Boredom Buster Edition

Day 2: Unleash Your Tongue-tistic Skills

Decipher: Wheel – Z = HK5 YEEDQ QVTWWQ HKEY J5S CBY USQR D5 TR J5SP 5HY HBJ?

Character: Ragna The Bloodedge

Loading... Complete.


Weirdly enough, they were still in the same hotel living room. Peach-like hue painted the room, with various fancy shit he didn't really give a damn about. There was something different on the room. The table was clustered with various art materials, ranging from clean white sheet of papers to tubes of colors.

Were they going to paint?

Knowing exactly what to do after the whole fiasco on his first mission, he imagined a big square button and a hand hovering above to push it. The whole area froze, and he wished he could had stalled for a moment, as he was left with Ace's grinning like a total idiot. She was probably into art, he guessed.

Day 2: Unleash Your Tongue-tistic Skills

Decipher: Wheel – Z = HK5 YEEDQ QVTWWQ HKEY J5S CBY USQR D5 TR J5SP 5HY HBJ?

Task: Do Day 2 of Tutorial For Newbs: Boredom Buster Edition

Understanding that he just need to do this basic things before heading to the real deal, which is finding Rachel, he resumed time and saw Ace's cheeks slowly turning pink. She must had realized she was grinning for who knows how long.

Ragna flipped the tutorial book open, skipping pages he didn't need to do. He was thankful for that one, since he caught a glimpse of a task involving his feces.

Day 2 - Paint With Your Tongue

"I'm going to use my tongue to paint?!" He pointed at the coloring materials, "Those things aren't edible, you know?!"

Ace waved her hands, giggling at the thought of tasting the paints, "I got them covered, don't worry. They're actually food that stains the tongue. I just placed them on tubes to make them look presentable."

Ragna leered, "Are you sure you're serious about this?"

"Of course!" She held out a thumbs up.

He sighed, keeping his mood cool. He didn't want to waste any more time, and he wasn't even sure if the time here also applies to where Rachel is. Hopefully, only a few moments had passed. The man was deeply worried about her. Was she going through lengths on searching for him, if time did pass in a normal pattern? Hopefully she wasn't too worried about him.

Taking a deep breath, he took a tube with a scarlet hue and twisted the cap open. It smelled like roses... Ragna leered at the thought of Rachel crossing his mind. He growled when he heard his companion giggling uncontrollably. "Stop staring at me like a high school teen, woman!"

"Sorry, can't help it!" She chimed as she coughed, "It's just unusual to see you get worried about her."

"What, you're psychic now?" He scowled. He didn't want anyone close on his personal space, and that includes his thoughts.

"Sorry. I won't bother you anymore." Snickering, she picked up a tube with the color black and gave him a wink, "This is no contest, but let's see who can paint better."

Ragna stretched his arms, loosening up his tense muscles. "I don't have experience doing this shit, but if you want to pick a fight, I won't back down!"

The two of them took a piece of paper on the table, and placed themselves far away from each other. Ragna gave her a glare as Ace gave him a cocky smirk. There was no turning back now. The task was to use their tongue to paint a picture. It could be anything, as long as it was something recognizable. Nodding as a signal that they were ready to begin, Ragna focused on the blank paper on his hand, thinking what would he draw. A steak, a sword, a rabbit?

The mere image of Rachel and her signature appearance almost drove him nuts. Stop thinking about Rachel, dammit! This isn't the time and place for such thoughts! Taking a round of deep breath, Ragna proceeded to add a portion of the edible paint on his tongue and start his sketch.

"Done!"

"What the hell?!" Ragna turned his head, scowling at the sudden announcement, "That quick?!"

"Who said about creating a masterpiece like Leonardo Da Vinci?" Ace gave another round of laughter.

Growling, he swiped his tongue on different directions. He didn't give a damn about this shit anymore, he just needed to be done with it. When the color was starting to fade, he grabbed another tube with a different color and proceeded to paint it atop the previous color. He took his time to craft something decent, making sure to impress his rival on this fight.

After what seemed like eternity for Ace, as she decided to power the console and play Blazblue, Ragna was finally done with his art. He drew a rabbit eating a steak while wielding a sword. Ace dropped her controller on the ground, her mouth agape.

Ragna raised his eyebrow at her. "The hell's wrong?"

"Whoa..." Ace squealed, making Ragna back away from her, "This is awesome, man! Seriously! You could definitely purs-"

Ragna paused his surroundings, checking his objective if he was done. There was a check on the checkbox beside the objective, and he smiled. Another one down. Now to crack the code. He pulled out the decoder and cracked the code HK5 YEEDQ QVTWWQ HKEY J5S CBY USQR D5 TR J5SP 5HY HBJ? with ease. He smirked at the result.

Who needs skills when you can just do it your own way?


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"It's rude to interrupt someone, you know?" Ace pouted as she crossed her arms, slouching at the couch.

Ragna chuckled, feeling good that he had the upper hand for once. "I don't give a damn." He paused time and checked he had a long way to go. "We're making slow progress here. Hopefully I get this done quick."

Ace smiled sadly at him, "If you're worried about your friend, don't worry, our time here is non-existent on your current world. Meaning, how much time has passed in here, it doesn't affect the time in your own world. If you return in your own world, you'll still be where you remembered last time."

"Okay." He nodded, not really giving a damn. Least that one was cleared. He grabbed a fistful of popcorn and consumed it in peace.

"You know what's your next objective?"

"No."

"Check it out." She snickered.

Ragna flipped the book and he frowned. He was going to play match-maker... and he had no doubt there was going to be a twist on this maze.

"You're going to enjoy it, sonny."

Ragna threw the book straight at her face. He raised his hand and pulled something down. "Tune in next time. I just want her to shut up, and get this shit over with... as calm as possible."

Tune in next time on... Twist of Plate! Will Ragna manage to survive the insanity of... Maze-making Chase?!


Ace mentioned my other on-hiatus crack, How Not to Deal With Women. When it'll be updated? I don't even know, man.

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