"Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it."
― Ann Landers

"I guess that's just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up."
― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

"If she loved him the way she said she did, she wanted him whole. Maybe this was what love meant after all: sacrifice and selflessness. It did not mean hearts and flowers and a happy ending, but the knowledge that another's well-being is more important than one's own."
― Melissa de la Cruz, Lost in Time

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It had been a week since Kristoff had left, and he had neither returned nor sent a message. For the first few days Anna found it hard to suppress the urge to saddle up her horse and ride off to the Valley of Living Rock to drag him back. Then she despaired that she would never see him again, that the whole idea of being part of the royal family had finally scared him off.

Elsa spent most of the days locked away in her study with her advisers, dealing with the mess left behind by Pierre's conspiracy. Most nights she comforted Anna before they both fell into troubled sleep.

"I don't understand him, Elsa. I don't," Anna groaned. She was sprawled out on the couch in front of the fireplace in the library, her head in Elsa's lap.

"Anna, try to put yourself in Kristoff's place. He's suddenly in an environment as foreign to him as a song bird dropped into the fjord and expected to swim. He loves you, but now he sees that marrying you has far more profound implications than he had ever realized." She gently ran her fingers through Anna's hair. "Try this – what if Kristoff comes back and says he loves you and wants to marry you … but that the life of Prince Consort isn't something that he can deal with. Would you renounce your royal status and go follow him to be the wife of an ice harvester? Even one who's the Master of a Guild?"

"The Council would never let me do that!"

"I'm the Queen, and you get to do whatever I say. If that would make you happy, the Council can go drown in the fjord. But," Elsa added gently, "You're dodging the question."

For several minutes the only sound in the room was the crackling of the fire. Finally, Anna looked up at her sister and whispered. "I … don't know. I … think so, I love him, I do. Oh, Elsa, why is life so complicated?"

The Queen sighed and said, "It's … just the way it is for us. The conflict between our own wants and needs and the demands of duty. As royalty, rulers of the kingdom, we spend our lives under the yoke of those demands – Kristoff is struggling with the thought of taking on that burden. He loves you, and he thought he knew what that meant. But events have shown him that his sacrifices for you so far are small compared to giving up his whole life and being responsible for ruling at your side some day." Elsa stood and held out her hand to her sister. "Come on, let's go to bed and try to sleep through the night for a change."

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Elsa's sleep was troubled by The Dream again, with the added horror of killing Pierre. He hung there on the wall like a bug pinned to an exhibit board, her ice through his heart and his eyes accusing her. She knew that she had no choice, that he would have killed Anna, or Elsa, or the guards or Kristoff or all of them if she hadn't acted to eliminate his threat. She shouldn't feel guilty, but she would never be comfortable with the necessity of taking a life, even as a last resort, even the life of someone as evil as Pierre.

When she wasn't thrashing through her nightmares, her days weren't much better. There were still ongoing diplomatic problems caused by the whole mess with Weselton that needed to be smoothed over. Not every kingdom or nation was quite willing to accept that the Snow Queen wasn't a weapon that threatened them, even though she hadn't really destroyed Weselton, just helped the Duke find a new profession. It was ironic that Weselton was now one of Arendelle's best allies under the new Duchess. The stress this caused Elsa continued to wear her down. Her thoughts kept coming back to the feeling that she was more the problem for Arendelle than a solution. And considering methods for solving that problem.

She had to do something. But she couldn't leave Anna. Not yet. Not … yet.

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It was quiet in the stable – Anna had come to get her horse saddled for a ride, but she couldn't help checking in on Sven's stall. It was still empty. Except for Olaf, sitting on a hay bale.

"You miss Sven, huh?" Anna asked the little snowlem. Olaf nodded and kept humming a little tune. She sat down next to him and sighed. "I miss Kristoff. I'm worried he won't come back, Olaf."

He looked at her and patted her shoulder to reassure her. "Don't worry, Anna, he will."

"But what if he won't forgive me – " She was interrupted by a voice she had been afraid she'd never hear again.

"I think the real question is whether you'll forgive me, Anna." Kristoff stood in the door to the stall, wringing his cap in his hands. "I'm sorry I left you, but I had to figure this out. And I realized that I was being a fool and that I needed to come crawling to you and apologize to you and Elsa for being such a coward. And ask if you would be willing to consider letting me start over and court you again, if you can forgive me."

"I … Kristoff, I'm confused. I'm not sure how I feel. The last ten days are the most miserable I've spent since … since the coronation."

Kristoff was lost, groping for his footing. He still didn't know if she'd take him back. His heart sunk at the thought that she wouldn't, but he couldn't blame her if she sent him packing back to the lonely existence he led before he met her. "You really screwed this up, Kristoff. For a guy raised by love experts, you sure know how to botch it."

"Anna, I know I screwed this up; you would be perfectly justified in never speaking to me again, but I want to tell you how sorry I am I let you down. There's no excuse for it, and if you can't forgive me, I'll understand."

"I forgive you. I even understand why you left – Elsa and I had talked about it and I realized that you were overwhelmed and that I needed to give you time to figure it out. But I need to beg your forgiveness, too. I put you at risk by not filling you in on my 'plan', which was a stupid plan and I should have listened to Elsa and – "

He stepped close to her and took her hand. "We both made mistakes, Feisty Pants. Can we admit that, learn from it, and move on? I'll never let my doubts get in the way to my commitment to you again."

"Yes, Kristoff. Let's do that. Come on, let's go inside for lunch and fill Elsa in. She's been worried about you, too."

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Anna huddled deep under her blankets – she been up late last night with Kristoff, talking over everything that had happened, both of them sharing their hopes and dreams and fears about what their life together could become. The sky had begun to lighten before they finally parted.

There was an insistent knocking on her door and Kai's voice was saying, "Princess Anna? Princess Anna, please, we need you."

Anna ignored him and burrowed even deeper, mumbling something that might have been "go 'way"

"Princess Anna, please! You need to come immediately. It's … it's your sister."

Elsa? What on earth could be the problem with Elsa? She threw off her blankets, got a robe on and opened the door.

"What, Kai? What about Elsa?"

Kai had the oddest look on his face. "You need to get dressed, please, and come down to the Council chambers. It's urgent."

Now Anna was frightened. The last time he had that look on his face and asked her to come down to the Council chambers was almost four years ago, when … they told her about her parents.

She had never gotten dressed more quickly in her life.

When she ran into the room, the Admiral, the Bishop, Captain Gunnarsson and Kai were waiting for her.

"What is it, what's wrong?" she demanded. "Where's Elsa? Where's my sister?"

"Please, Your Highness, sit down and we will share what we know," the Admiral gestured at her chair. Once she sat down, the rest of them did also, and he pushed a leather portfolio toward her.

"This morning, Kai found this in your sister's room, along with this." He slid Elsa's tiara toward Anna. "They were on her bed, the portfolio was addressed to you. She is not anywhere in the castle, no one saw her leave, and we were unwilling to open that without your permission."

No, no, no, this can't be happening. Anna stared at the portfolio and the tiara and felt herself choking, unable to breathe.

"O … open it. I don't think I can." Anna whispered.

The Admiral opened the portfolio and pulled out two envelopes. Reading what was written on them, he handed one to Anna and said apologetically, "This one says, 'For Princess Anna's Eyes Only'"

With hands shaking so hard she could barely open the envelope, she managed to pull out the sheet of paper inside and unfold it. 'My dearest Anna … I love you so much that it breaks my heart to leave you,' it began, in Elsa's strong clear handwriting. Anna's sudden tears blurred the rest into illegibility.

While she struggled to control her outburst, the Admiral had opened and read what was in the other envelope. Eyes wide, he gasped.

"What is it, Mikeal? What does it say?" asked Bishop Norgaard.

The only sound in the room was Anna's quiet sniffles as she struggled to stifle her tears. She looked at him and said the same thing, "What is it, Admiral?"

In response, the Admiral stood and bowed deeply to her. Standing at attention, he said, "It is a Decree of Abdication, Your Majesty. Your sister has abdicated the Throne of Arendelle, and you are now the Queen."

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Elsa was standing on the balcony of her Ice Palace when Olaf came bounding through the doors.

"I told Marshmallow what's going to happen. He'll be waiting for us on the front stairs." He reached up to take her hand, as solemn as he had ever been. He could feel how troubled Elsa was about why she had come here and what she felt she had to do.

"Thank you, Olaf." She took a last look at the sunrise, drinking in its beauty for the last time from this balcony. It seemed an appropriate bookend – she had reveled in the view of the sunrise from this spot when she built the Ice Palace.

"Oh, Anna, please forgive me for leaving you; I know I promised never to do that, but it's best this way. Arendelle will be safer with you as Queen and me as just history fading into the mists of legend." Elsa had planned this carefully, finally accepting that the world would never trust a kingdom ruled by a mage with the power Elsa had demonstrated. By the time Anna and her advisers found her letters and came here to check on her, it would all be over. At least her sister had Kristoff back. Elsa couldn't have left Anna to deal with losing the two people closest to her, her entire remaining family.

"Come, Olaf, let's go down to Marshmallow. We need to get this … over with."

She turned away from the sunrise and led Olaf inside.

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Anna had stormed out of the castle to the stables and ordered her horse saddled. Gunnarsson barely had time to get his men mounted up to go with her. She was so frantic that she didn't even wait for Kristoff to harness Sven, just shouted at him that they needed to get up to the North Mountain NOW!

Anna was interpreting Elsa's letter as a suicide note. There had been a panicked search for Olaf, and he was nowhere to be found. If Gunnarsson could have stopped her from this mad expedition he would have, but in truth he needed to know Elsa's fate as badly as Anna did. The whole kingdom needed to know. Was Elsa simply gone, or was she dead?

They rode as hard as they could: gallop for a distance, then canter, then a walk, repeat. It was a the only way to move fast on horseback without killing the horse. There wasn't a horse alive that could gallop all the way to the North Mountain, and Anna knew it. That didn't make it any easier for her to suppress the urge to kick her mount into a gallop instead of a walk.

The little troop finally made it to the clearing just below the cliff that hid the Ice Palace from view. They dismounted, and Gunnarsson assigned two of the men to stay with the horses. The rest of them followed Anna to the opening in the cliff that led to the clearing in front of the Ice Palace.

When Anna came through the little tunnel and looked up, she fell to her hands and knees and cried out, "No!"

There was no sign of the Ice Palace. It was gone as though it had never been. Elsa was dead. She had explained it to them before she had gone into captivity with the Weselton troops.

They had been discussing how her forces would know if the Weselton men had killed her. Elsa had told them, "In my research into my powers, I found very little about where they came from or why I have them. But one thing was clear: when I die, anything that I had created with my magic would also pass away. Olaf, Marshmallow, the Ice Palace...all gone."

And the Ice Palace was gone; there was no sign of Marshmallow or Olaf, either. Elsa was dead.

Captain Gunnarsson turned to his men and ordered, "Jorgensen!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Take the men, search this area thoroughly. See if you can find a bod … anything out of place, anything that could indicate that Queen Elsa had been here!"

Jorgensen waved the rest of the men to him, gave them quick instructions, then they fanned out in their search.

Anna had curled up into a ball and was sobbing in the snow. Gunnarsson knelt and gently touched her shoulder, "Your Majesty, please. We must return to Arendelle, we must report this to the Royal Council and … and the people. We will mourn her properly, but for now, please let us get you back to the Castle."

She shook off his hand and screamed, "Leave me alone! She not dead, she's not … she can't be dead!"

Gunnarsson was torn; he didn't know what to do. He felt a touch on his own shoulder. "Let me."

It was Kristoff – he and Sven had finally caught up to them. Gunnarsson nodded and stood up, letting Kristoff kneel next to Anna.

"Anna," Kristoff said, touching her gently on her shoulder.

"K … Kristoff?" Anna turned to look at him, then sat up and threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed even harder. He held her and comforted her until she finally stopped crying. They sat there, looking at the empty snow where her sister's glorious creation had stood.

Sergeant Jorgensen walked up to them and saluted Anna, saying, "Your Majesty, we have searched the area thoroughly. There is no sign of Queen Elsa. One of the men found this, however." He held out his hands to show her Elsa's coronation cape, tattered, torn, crusted with snow, the blue brooch still attached.

Anna took it and clutched it to her chest. "Damn you, Elsa, damn you for lying to me. You said you'd never leave me. Again." This cape reminded her of the chaos of Coronation Day, of her wild quest to find her sister. This time, however, Anna had no idea why Elsa had chosen to leave, to abandon her kingdom and her sister.

She was angry again. Anger was good. Anger pushed off the reality that her sister was probably dead. There was no body. The only evidence was absence; absence of Elsa, of Olaf, of Marshmallow and the Ice Palace. And that damned letter.

"Your Majesty, I think it would be best if we returned to Arendelle," Gunnarsson interrupted her concentration. Or tried to. The honorific didn't penetrate her focus; to Anna 'Your Majesty' was her sister.

Kristoff finally reached out to touch her gently on the arm. "Anna, we should go back. You need to let people know what you found here."

She closed her eyes tightly to keep the tears from falling, then nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, and we need to talk." She turned to Gunnarsson and ordered, "Captain, if you would have one of the men lead my horse, I will be riding with Master Bjorgman. We will return to Arendelle immediately." She stalked off.

The Captain watched her go and said to Kristoff, "Master Bjorgman, she is distressed and grieving. She is the Queen now. We must all do what we can to support her." He turned away to order his men to return to their horses and mount up for the ride back to the castle.

Kristoff started down toward his sled when Gunnarsson's words finally slammed into his brain. He almost fell to his knees as the implications hit him... "Queen? She's the Queen? Oh, crap, She's the QUEEN!"

Recovering his balance, he staggered down to where Anna was climbing into the front seat of the sled. Kristoff got in, took the reins, checked to see if the Captain and the rest of the guardsmen were mounted and ready, then flicked the reins to get Sven moving.

For the first mile or so, the ride was silent except for the hoof-beats of Sven and the horses and the skritching of the sled runners on the snow. Anna sat with her arms crossed, looking away from Kristoff and struggling not to cry.

A few more moments of silence before Anna uncrossed her arms, turned to him and said, "The whole courtship thing is way more complicated now. Or, maybe not as complicated. I'm not sure." Anna's thoughts were dull and miserable as she thought about how the kingdom was now her responsibility. "Oh, Elsa, how could you do this to me?"

"How could it be more complicated and not as complicated?" he asked.

She hunched forward and said, "Well, for one thing, I'm the Queen now." Anna continued, "We came up here to check because Elsa had left me a letter that sounded like she was going to … end it all and I needed to see the Ice Palace because I couldn't find Olaf. So if Elsa was dead that meant I inherited the Crown, but it doesn't matter if she's dead because she had abdicated and left me Queen. So I'm stuck with it no matter what."

"What? She abdicated?" Kristoff felt he had missed something, but Anna had left the castle in a frantic hurry to ride up here and left him to catch up. This was the first chance Anna had to fill him in on the events of the morning.

"Yes. Elsa … she set it up. She set all of this up, the stinker. I'll explain it all in detail when we get back, but the important thing is that I'm not of age yet. Until I'm 21, the Council has some say in running the kingdom, and could overrule me if they chose to. I'm not Queen Regnant yet. My marriage is suddenly … more political." She wasn't looking at him; she was looking into the distance, down the mountain to where Arendelle had come into view.

Kristoff absorbed what she said. Elsa was dead; Anna was the Queen, but she wasn't yet of age. The Council could prevent her from marrying. Or they could try to force her into marrying someone who wasn't a commoner, who wasn't him. Oh, no, what had he done? He could lose everything good that had come into his life.

They rode in silence for another mile or so before Anna spoke again. Her voice was soft, as though she were talking to herself. "I have a lot to do."

"Like what?"

"I have a funeral to plan. My sister's funeral. Another funeral for someone who is just … not there anymore. And another stone with no one beneath it." She crossed her arms and slumped, huffing out a long breath. "And then … then I need to figure out how to be the Queen."

The rest of the trip to Arendelle was spent in silence. There didn't seem to be anything more to say.

~not fin~

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Authors's note:

(Sticks head up from bunker, wearing helmet and flak jacket and waving a little white flag.)

So this story took a weird turn, it was originally going to end with the scene where Elsa spiked Pierre. But my muse suddenly decided I was really writing a trilogy, and this was only the second story in that trilogy. Thousands of words later, the final story in the trilogy was roughed out enough that I could see where this one had to go. Including everything that happened after the spiking. EVERYTHING that happened after the spiking.

The good news is, a lot of the third story is finished, so I will post chapter 1 very soon. Like within 72 hours.

In the first story of the trilogy, "Worthy Queen of Greatness", Weselton comes back for revenge. In this story, Elsa pays the Duke back, but there is still quite a bit of political shenanigans going on.

In the final story, well, let's just say that revenge still lurks in the shadows, and old enemies aren't quite finished with Arendelle and its Queen.

And please remember how much I love Elsa. Really.

Loud shout out to my beta, stillslightlynerdy, who beat me into submission on some really critical plot points. Plus some pointed commentary from jedijae when sss was busy having a Real Life. Thanks, guys.