...Quiet Remains...

[Wolfsbane: a beautiful dark black she cat, who almost appears a rich purple in the moon light. He eyes are a violent blue, with stunning yellow streaks]

I hear the breath leave my lungs.

I am not sure if it will ever return.

...

As I stare into those eyes, I am reminded of my own. Although, I prefer his. Those were the eyes that drew me in, captivated me, and put me exactly where he wanted me to be. Right by his side.

They look like someone cracked the thick ice on the lake, revealing bloodied water beneath. The gorgeous sections of deep copper mixed with icy blue mystifies me, muddles my thoughts, and captivates me. It makes me his, only his, just as he wishes me to be.

But now as I stare into those same eyes, who stare right back at me, I do not see the fondness I am used to seeing. I see blatant anguish and betrayal, along with a subtle flow of hatred... It is to be expected, predicted, a simple given , if you look at my actions.

I am shocked to find my own heart recoiling in shame for what I have done. I want to hiss at it, tell it that it knows not what it is saying. But I am the one lying.

My heart has never lied to me.

And yet I never listen.

That tom. Ahaha, that reckless cat. He has been after me for a long, long while. Always trying to impress me. And he did, he always has. I just never showed any recognition. I loved watching him play out his plots. He was so smart, he knew me so well. Finally, he pulled it off. He is mine, and I... Was his. The final plot. The one that resulted in our current stand off. He led me down to the lake. And he asked too many questions. Questions I could not answer. His dark tabby fur stands up, yelling accusations at me. Like I don't already realize. His mouth is open to do the same. But he does not make a single noise. His eyes, his lovely, lovely eyes, they speak for him. As I have already said, they told me every emotion he was going through.

They told me I lied to him, how could I lie? How could I hide away? How could I keep these secrets? How? Simple. My secrets are not for telling.

His body... Lean, strong, desirable. Many were jealous that he choose me. I was not.

His fur, it was so soft, with a flowing pattern. It was especially useful for keeping me warm on those chilling winter nights, when we shared a nest, his large frame wrapping around my smaller one, ensuring my safety from the attacking winds.

I close my eyes as a draft blows through. It is a chilling winter night. I feel a build up behind my eyes. It is wet, and threatening to break through the dam I have constructed to keep them at bay. With a heaving sigh, I come upon several facts.

I was wrong about Shatteredsoul.

I was wrong about myself.

He saw more than I thought.

I am sorry.

We all make mistakes.

Especially me.

And now, I was going to pay for it.

I remember the day that frisky feline asked to be my mate. Being who I was, I naturally made him wait for the answer, work for it, practically suffer for it. Those were good days.

Shatteredsoul's name does not match who he is. The name makes him sound forlorn, and broken. He is anything but that. The crazy tom is outgoing, loving, cheerful, joyous, and understanding. I am his perfect match, and he is mine. It is as simple as can be, correct? I would wish it so... But it is not... not as long as I am what I am...

...

Ehem. Pardon me, I am a rambler. I have completely beaten around the bush, and for that, I apologize. I am supposed to be telling his story, not my own. But, it seems I got off wrong; I got distracted with myself like I often do. It is an easy thing to do, considering my current situation. But really, enough of me, more of Shatteredsoul.

...

I can see it in his bright orbs. He has taken his first real breath, intoxicated by my own. Like many others, I might add. But I can smell it on him, he is different. He is mine. / And he will stay, I am determined.

I will not lose him.

As bright-eyes struts over to me, I am already scheming. As soon as the words leave his mouth, I am already gone, my tail brushing his nose, eliciting a sneeze. He rubs at his pink nose, and a childish grin erupts on his face.

Ah, that is good. I have his attention now.

We went back and forth like this for moons. It was fun, it was, until of course I had to cut the fun short and agree to be his mate before he lost all interest. That happens, you know.

It was a few moons after, that he started seeing things he was not supposed to.

He was seeing the others.

And that costed us both dearly.

...

I have lied again. I am supposed to be in this story, actually.

...

The winter wind nips at my fur, biting into it, seeking the heat I radiate without fail. It clutches me close, whispering in my ear like it has always done. I glare at the invisible force, but it does not relent. It only chuckles, reminding me of how silly I am. I argue back, I am not silly, not in the slightest. It is silent. For once.

A few seconds have passed in this reminiscing that was taking place. I open my eyes, startled by how I got lost in myself. Not like that is a regular occurrence anyway.

And there he is, in all of his perfection. Except, I have ruined that perfection, as I am known to do. It is just who I am. He is broken, mangled, and-

That is not him.

Ah, there he is. You were right, wind, I am silly.

There he is.

He is still perfect. I sigh in relief.

But I have lied, somehow I have managed to do it again.

Forgive me.

Shatteredsoul turns to face me. I can almost see straight through him. I expect a furious screech, but I get no such thing.

His eyes... They are so sad. But they glimmer with forgiveness. They shine with true understanding. They glow with love.

But nearly masking all that, is sorrow.

And that awakens something inside me. I think it is called guilt.

I do not like guilt.

For the first time that night, I open my mouth, and words tumble out. They are lost and confused, but I am not.

"will you stay?"

Something seems to shatter inside the tom. And now his name makes sense to me, I understand the irony fate has set up for him.

I curse fate with all I have.

The broken smile that takes over his lips makes the dam I built so long ago crumble into a million pieces. I now also curse my mediocre construction skills.

"No, my beloved." the words curl off his tongue.

There is a sudden, harsh blast of wind. Shatteredsoul turns to face it, and with one last glance at me, he flies away with it, forever lost to the world.

The wind comes back, gentle and reassuring, trying to comfort me. It offers nothing to do such a thing. Nothing to change my actions. Nothing to change me.

"I forgive you..." the wind whispers. And I gasp, looking up. But he has not lied to me.

No, he is no longer mine. I lost my privileges.

...

As I review what has just happened, a few things reveal themselves to me.

This red liquid that bodies revere has dominated my life. I am covered in said red liquid.

I am going to keep those eyes.

Quiet remains. That is all they are. I sit by them. And one final thing occurs to me.

Shatteredsoul is not the one who is dead.

Only quiet remains, only quiet, quiet remains.

...

...To be continued...

(if you want)