Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of this work of fiction, and no profit, monetary or otherwise, is being made through the writing of this.

A/N: I am taking extreme liberties with regard to the gods, Lono and Maui. They are not being portrayed, strictly speaking, as they would be within a traditional Hawaiian story. I mean no disrespect in this.

This has taken FOREVER (as I measure it - two and a half weeks) to write, and I know that it is not perfect, but I am okay with that. The point-of-view switches periodically, something that I did purposefully. Initially, this was supposed to be nine thousand words shorter, and a cute, little one-shot of pure crack. It morphed into something larger than that.

Enjoy (I hope; this could be rubbish).

Danny swore and took a blind shot at the men chasing after him. He felt a bullet whiz past his ear and ducked. In front of him there was an odd shimmering light, behind him, there was a gunfight.

With a glance toward his partner, he headed toward the light, hoping there would be a box he could take cover behind. For a chase through the warehouse district, there had been few boxes behind which to take refuge.

Danny sprinted toward the light, seeing something beyond it that looked promising. He ignored the way that his knee twinged, and kept running, seeing that Steve was right beside him, taking another shot at their pursuers before cursing and tossing his gun away. It was an unusual move, but one that Danny really didn't have time to question now.

Chin and Kono were somewhere in the midst of the gunfight, which had been completely unexpected (weren't they always). They had been looking into a lead, that was it. And now they were running for their lives.

Figures, Danny thought, and he stepped in through the strange circle of light, expecting to find a box, or something to hide behind. Instead, he was engulfed by darkness, and heat so intense that he felt like he was being baked alive. When the darkness subsided, the light returned, but it was different - artificial. Danny smelled the scent of cookies baking, and looked around for the source of the delectable scent.

"You have got to be kidding me," Danny said, throwing his arms wide, and scowling when the gun he'd been holding slipped free from his grasp.

This is not happening, he thought, five seconds away from panicking. This is not real. People do not turn into gingerbread cookies when they walk into a wavering field of light.

"What the..." Steve skittered to a stop beside Danny, bluish-green eyes, made of icing, growing wide as he took in Danny's appearance.

Danny had yellow icing for hair, his red mouth, also made of icing, was currently drawn in a tight line, and he had three tiny blue spiced gumdrops adorning his front. There were squiggly little lines of white icing on his arms and legs, and his eyes were made of blue icing. Danny was a gingerbread man, and from the looks of him, a rather angry gingerbread man.

Maybe I do need a vacation, Steve thought.

"Laugh it up," Danny said.

He marched over to the gun which had flown from his hand, and, after several failed attempts to get his cookie hand wrapped around it - not having fingers made it much more difficult to grasp things - he finally managed to get it up off of the ground, which appeared to be made up of crushed graham crackers and Oreo cookies. The 'grass' that was scattered in little patches throughout the world they'd stepped into was comprised of some kind of gummy candy.

"You're a cookie," Steve said, rather unhelpfully.

"Take a good, hard look at yourself, Steven," Danny said, gesturing toward his cookified friend, careful to keep a good, strong grip on his gun this time. A closer look at his gun revealed that it was now made up of black licorice.

Great , thought Danny, wonder if it shoots licorice nibs for bullets.

Steve's eyes grew even wider, almost reaching his hairline, which was a dark shade of brown icing. It was rather comical, and Danny laughed.

Steve glared at Danny, his icing eyes narrowing into tiny little slits. Instead of gumdrop buttons down his front, he had three, heart shaped red hot candies, and the squiggly icing lines on his legs and arms were not white, like Danny's, but a light orange in color. The knives that he kept hidden in his boot were now scored into his cookie flesh, about where his ankle would have been, and he doubted that they'd be useable, unlike the licorice gun that Danny held tightly in his rounded, fingerless hand.

"We've got to warn the others," Steve said, hand going toward where his ears should be, only to come up empty.

"Too late," Danny muttered, and he kicked at something on the ground, sending what looked like a candy rock flying at Steve.

Scowling, Steve rubbed at the spot where the candy rock had hit him, finding a dark smudge on what might possibly be his knee. He wasn't exactly up on his gingerbread man anatomy, and doubted that watching, Shrek 1, 2 and 3with Grace made him an expert in all things gingerbread.

Kono and Chin stumbled into whatever world Danny and Steve had just found themselves in, and, sure enough, both of them were now gingerbread cookies. Kono's dark hair was drawn on in thin lines, she had a frilly, pink, polka dot bikini drawn on her front. There was a single button, made up of white icing, just above the bottom of her bikini, serving as a belly button. She had no squiggly lines on her arms and legs, though there was a knife etched into the back of one of her legs. Her dark eyes were wide in shock as she looked from Danny to Steve and then to Chin, before she took a good, hard look at herself.

"Boys, I've got a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore," she said faintly.

Chin's mouth was turned downward as he took everything in. His hand was curled around a walkie talkie which looked like a miniature chocolate bar. "I get the feeling that this isn't going to work here," Chin said, his shoulders sagging as he tossed the chocolate bar away from himself.

Chin, too, had dark hair, though his was much shorter than Kono's. He had three green m&m buttons down his front, and, instead of squiggly lines on his arms and legs, he had straight lines that matched the color of his buttons. There were no hidden weapons on his cookie person.

All four of them had been stripped of their tactical vests, and their comm devices, aside from the walkie talkie that Chin had been holding, were gone. They had no communication with the outside world, and were, essentially trapped in a world made up of candy.

They'd been inside of the warehouse district when they'd stepped through the wavy yellow light, and now they were inside of a 'forest' that sported trees which had candy sticks (of various colors and flavors) for trunks. Some trees had gummy bears for their leaves, others had multi-colored marshmallows, or gumballs; there were even trees that did not have candy sticks for trunks, but were filled in from top to bottom with gumdrops, reminding Danny and the others of Christmas trees.

"We've still got Duke and the HPD on the other side," Chin reminded them. Though, given their circumstances, it was of very little consolation.

"Hey, maybe we can go back the way we came," Kono said, voice filling with hope. She turned toward the portal of light, and took a step forward only to have it wink out with a flash that nearly blinded her and the others.

"Well, there goes that plan," she muttered, frowning and poking at the spot where the light had been.

"Great, just great," Danny fumed, arms going up toward the painted sky. Blue frosting, cotton candy clouds and birds made of icing. "So, what, we're stuck here, wherever the hell hereis, forever now?"

"I wonder if that's what the old man meant when he warned us of the dark magic that his son wielded," Steve thought aloud.

"Gee, ya think?" Danny asked, voice rising in conjunction with his mounting fear.

He liked eating gingerbread cookies, often went right for the head, biting it clean off and gaining a small amount of satisfaction from it, but he definitely did not relish the idea of being stuck like this - a gingerbread cookie in some kind of candy land, forever. Were they going to wind up on someone's plate? Would his head become someone's late night snack? Would he become one of the cookies on a plate meant for Santa? Christmas was right around the corner, and it would be just his luck.

"We all just need to calm down and assess the situation," Chin, ever the peacemaker, said. His eyes were focused on something in the distance, and his mouth was drawn in a line that was much too thin for it to be anything good.

"Guys, we need to get moving," he said. He reached for Kono's arm, pulling her toward the forest at a run.

Danny and Steve followed suit, neither of them questioning Chin's cryptic warning or abrupt departure. They'd worked long enough with the man to know that Chin was not easily moved. Cookie or not, they trusted Chin's instincts.

Running on short, squat gingerbread legs was tough work, though, and all four of them were soon winded. Panting and holding their thick sides, they leaned against the odd tree trunks until they regained their breath and started off again at a gallop.

"I think we need to find another magical portal, or whatever it was that we stepped through," Chin said, voice ringing with authority that not even Steve stopped to question. "Maybe it'll take us back home."

"Or we could end up somewhere else worse than Candy Land," Danny groused, frowning down at his stubby legs as he tripped over the stick of a lollipop that had fallen from a 'tree' comprised of Chupa Chups.

At least here they were all the same height and width, so no one could make a crack at his short stature, or blame him for holding them up. They were all, for once, in the same boat, in a manner of speaking. The only way they differed from each other was in the way that they'd been 'decorated'.

"This has got to be some kind of dream," Kono said. "Or a hallucination. Maybe the warehouse was filled with some kind of drug."

"If that were the case, we wouldn't all be having the same exact hallucination," Steve said, words coming out in little puffs as he struggled for air. "It's not medically or scientifically possible. Even if we had all been exposed to some kind of hallucinogen, each of us would be experiencing something different. Yes, we'd have a 'mass hallucination', but it would not be of the same exact thing."

"Thanks for the mini-lesson in hallucinations, Mr. Wizard." Sarcasm dripped from Danny's lips. "None of that is even remotely helpful right now."

Should it really be this difficult to run around on rounded feet? The gingerbread man in Shrek had been able to do it. He hadn't been winded. What were they doing wrong? Did they even need to breathe?

"Maybe we should make sure that we are all experiencing the same thing," Kono suggested, reaching an arm out to steady herself against a spearmint stick when she tripped over a piece of rock candy.

"I'm trapped in some kind of Candy Land, and all of you are gingerbread people. Kono, you've got a frilly, pink, polka dot bikini on -"

"So, it's not just me," Kono interrupted Danny before he could finish describing her, or anyone else, in great detail.

Steve shook his head, and halted, cookie leg poised just above the crumbly ground. He cocked his head to the side, cupped a hand around where his ear would have been, had he had one, and 'listened' to something that Danny, and the others, could not hear.

His icing mouth turned downward in a dramatic frown, and Danny could feel his own icing lips wriggling in response. It was disconcerting. He could picture what his cookie self must look like right now, and it wasn't very pretty.

"What if we can't get out of this place?" Kono asked, dark eyes turning downward at the corners.

"I am not going to spend the rest of my life as a gingerbread man," Danny said. "Grace's Christmas play is in a couple of days, and I intend to be there, in the flesh, not as some kind of glorified Christmas cookie. How is this even part of some diabolical plan? I mean, who in their right mind turns people into gingerbread cookies using magic? I mean, why not turn us into mice, or rabbits, or something logical?"

"None of those other options are very logical, or desirable alternatives," Chin observed, calm in spite of the fact that he was plucking a glob of fallen marshmallow fluff out of his hair.

"Great, now it's snowing," Danny said, nearly losing his grip on his licorice gun.

"Don't say it," Kono warned, holding up an arm, when Danny opened his mouth to state the obvious, that things couldn't possibly get worse.

Danny sighed and nodded, even as he ducked beneath a candy-cane tree to avoid a clump of marshmallow fluff. "Why can't it be powdered sugar?"

"Be careful what you wish for, Danno," Steve warned as he took point and led them further into the forest, seemingly oblivious to the sticky 'snow' that continued to fall from the gloomy looking sky.

The blue sky had darkened into a faux grey, and the clouds had turned from cotton candy fluff to something a little more sinister looking. They all shivered, and, following Steve's lead, ducked their heads and plowed onward, hoping to find a portal to the world they had left behind.

Please be kind, and drop me a line (kind of rhymes).