It's my first attempt at The Last Of Us. JoelxEllie mentions ahead, if that bothers you, then move along.

He watches her sometimes, when the fire is rising in front of her and she's rubbing her hands together in search for warmth. He watches the colour in her eyes, watches the fire flicker in them and the colour of her skin as it reflects the amber glow. He watches her and he wonders if she's thinking about it too.

Joel hates winter. He hates winter because it's a constant struggle to keep warm and to keep safe, he hates winter because he's holding her together; every time they walk through a town she stays close to him, her knuckles brushing against his, even five years after their first winter together, she sticks by him and she focuses on nothing. Winter is just a reminder.

"Everythin' alright over there?" He asks, placing his empty can in front of him. Ellie says nothing as she looks over at Joel with a curt nod before she focuses back on the fire, her hands underneath her chin in a gesture that Joel can only describe as a silent prayer. "You warm enough?"

Ellie doesn't move this time.

Joel sighs, standing from his place on the log and shifting awkwardly over to Ellie, she doesn't look up, she keeps her focus on the fire even as Joel sits and places a rough hand against her knee. "Ellie," he says, his voice low. "I'm talkin' to you."

"I'm fine."

He knows she's not, because she's staring again, she's watching the flames rise and she's watching the logs burn and disintegrate into ash and Joel knows she remembers. He looks down at his hand then, immediately lifting it away from her knee and placing it on his own, tapping his fingertips against the material of his jeans. When he touches her, he remembers, but only in winter.

She was only ever meant to be cargo, a simple drop off and that was that, he hadn't ever intended to feel emotionally attached to the girl. She's nineteen now, she's still young and it's still wrong, they both know it, but rules were buried along with the government who made them, and they live by this day to day, mainly for Joel's sake. Ellie doesn't care, she grew up in a messed up world, she doesn't know any different.

He wants to comfort her, but he can't, he knows if he touches her then he's only going to remember what he missed.

"She's David's newest pet."

Ellie reaches out to him then, her hand covering his. "I'm fine," she promises, turning her eyes away from the fire and meeting his. Joel nods, blinking back at her, her skin still flickering that amber colour it had when he found her.

"Baby girl," he starts, but she smiles and it stops him.

"I'm fine."

When Joel looks down at their hands on his knee, he closes his eyes and reminds himself that he is nothing like him. She is here because she wants to be, she is here because she's with him and that's what she's chosen, and he is here because somewhere along the line, she was no longer a drop-off.

"Okay," he says and flips his hand around so that their fingers can intertwine comfortably. "Okay."

"Okay."

He's nothing like David, and winter is only another season.