Sheldon finished writing up his equation before taking a step back from his whiteboard to look over his work. Over the month he'd caught up on the publications on dark matter and began putting his thoughts to the whiteboard. He was pleased to see that his work in string theory wasn't a complete wash; as Penny had said, his mathematical formulas proved indispensable and in fact had brought nuances to the forefront that traditional approaches to dark matter research couldn't do.

He put the cap on his marker and set it on the whiteboard ledge.

"So?" prompted Penny. "Don't leave me in suspense."

"Behold the cutting edge of science," Sheldon said as he stepped aside and gestured at his board.

"Crap on a cracker," Penny whistled. "If what you're saying is true then they really can build an array to detect dark matter." Here she chuckled. "You know Dr. Cooper, if you keep this up you might make a physicist one day."

"I'm in such a good mood I'll overlook that slight," he replied amiably as he picked up his phone from his computer desk. "In fact, I think this deserves some kind of reward. A constitutional perhaps?"

"Sure thing chum. What ya wanna explore first?"

"That's for me to know," Sheldon said as he turned off his phone.

XxX

The moment the phone powered up Penny aligned herself with the GPS and—

"Rodeo Drive!" she squealed.

"Shh," said Sheldon as he activated his bluetooth earpiece.

"What are we doing here? I mean I'm not complaining. God, definitely not, but this is so totally not you."

"I'm taking a side road off my linear trajectory," the physicist replied as he casually strolled down the sidewalk. "According to my calculations I thought you'd appreciate the destination. Of course my math could be wrong—"

"Definitely not wrong," Penny breathed. "Wow, there's Prada! And Gucci!"

"Where would you like to go first?" Sheldon asked. "Keep in mind that my tolerance will be severely tested so I can't go into every store."

"Giorgio Armani," Penny said. "It's five shops down on the right."

Sheldon stopped at the front of the store to stare at the display.

"They sell shoes," he said evenly.

"Yup."

"You don't have feet."

"Shoes are about more than feet, Dr. Cooper," Penny cooed.

"Oh Good Lord," sighed Sheldon as he opened the door and stepped inside.

"Seriously, they're art," continued Penny. "They look good, both shape and support the foot, accentuate the arch." She giggled. "And you can show off your painted toesies."

"Which is where I draw the line," Sheldon said firmly.

"Can I help you?" asked the clerk who was trying her best not to roll her eyes considering Sheldon's apparel of a loose grey buttoned shirt with a phone in the breast pocket, a Green Lantern t-shirt underneath and brown plaid pants.

"No thank you," the physicist replied. "My companion keeps referencing shoes and I thought to familiarize myself with them should the banal conversation repeat itself."

"You know, I'm in such a good mood I'll let that slide," Penny teased as Sheldon began moving about the store. "And I've been upgraded to 'companion'. Very kewlie."

"Well I can hardly say my OS is obsessed with foot apparel," he replied.

"How about co-pilot?"

"Unless we're in the Millennium Falcon I don't see how that would apply."

Penny snorted. "Hey at least I tri—Ooo! Go to the left." Sheldon obliged. "Just look at that curve," she cooed as the phone's camera took in the high arch and shapely overstrap of the black evening shoe.

"They're six hundred and fifty dollars," said Sheldon.

"Look at the slingback on them," Penny sighed.

"That's a lot of money for inevitable lower back trouble."

"But they make your bust and butt stick out. Guys like that."

Sheldon shrugged. "From a posture perfect young woman to a Quasimodo femme fatale, yes I can see the allure."

"Smartiboots. Let's go to the flats in the glass case."

"One thousand and ninety five dollars?" Sheldon gasped as he took in the price.

"And worth every penny. Look at all the rhinestones," ogled Penny. "And the black suede totally sets them off. Hey, the catalogue says that they have this style in a heel. Find it for me?"

"So if you did have feet what would be your size?" asked Sheldon as he scanned the store.

"Eight."

"You seem sure."

"I'd be five foot six so I thought size eight would be okay," Penny explained.

Sheldon spotted the shoes and proceeded to the display.

"You're playing for average with those numbers," he tsked.

"Just being practical."

"Don't be practical. That's my job," he replied as they came to the delicate heel. "For instance, whereas you find it acceptable to spend eleven hundred dollars on potentially neck-breaking shoes I spent two hundred and twenty six dollars on my orthotics."

"I also work as an organizer, y'know."

"You order my life. That doesn't mean your imagination should be similarly structured."

"You don't limit me, Dr. Cooper," Penny said warmly.

"I should hope not," Sheldon countered. "I'm the most interesting life form you're ever going to meet."

"Interesting doesn't even begin to describe you," Penny chuckled. "Come on, let's get out of here before your head explodes."

"Thank you," Sheldon sighed and exited the store.

"Oh my God that's so funny!" laughed Penny as they made their way down the strip.

"What?" asked Sheldon.

"Here we are at the mecca of high fashion and the number of knockoffs I've seen people wearing on the street is incredible! Just wow."

"Perhaps they have more important things to spend their money on—like comic books for instance," said Sheldon.

"I dunno. From what I've seen of your wardrobe all of your comic related t-shirts are authentic DC wear."

"I don't think all of them combined amount to a thousand dollars," said Sheldon.

"That's because you haven't gotten to the new ones yet," teased Penny. "Huh. Looks like The Fountain Coffee Room has a side bar chocolate shop."

"Fascinating," Sheldon said absently as he checked his watch. He still had another forty five minutes until he needed to apply sunscreen.

"Let's go in," Penny prompted and Sheldon entered the store

"Ooo truffles!" cooed Penny. "Man, I think I gained two pounds just looking."

"Why do I have the feeling I'm going to be doing more than that?" said Sheldon.

"You're the one with taste buds, bub." Penny snickered. "I need you for your body."

"Sounds rather exploitative but alright." Sheldon scanned the rows of truffles. "So what looks appealing?"

"Something dark and something milk chocolatey. I wanna know the difference."

"It's usually a degree of bitterness," Sheldon explained. "The more cocoa the sharper the taste."

"Yeah, that makes it so much clearer," Penny snorted.

"Fine." Sheldon looked to the shop assistant. "I'll have the mocha almond and the milk chocolate truffles, please."

"I am eat-ing choc-late! I am eat-ing choc-late!" Penny sang off key.

"Shush." Sheldon paid for his wares and went to the cafe side and after purchasing a Perrier water sat at a table.

"Eat eat eat," Penny whispered over and over.

"You're rather impatient," said Sheldon as he pulled out his antibacterial cleanser and applied it to his hands.

"And you're a tease," she countered.

"There's a protocol to follow, Penny," said the physicist evenly albeit with a twinkle to his eyes. "Now, I suggest having the milk chocolate first since the taste should be more delicate than the dark chocolate."

"Leaving it to the expert. Only...I want to see you eating it," she said shyly. "It helps me imagine it better."

Sheldon took his phone from his breast pocket and held up the milk chocolate truffle to the camera. He then bit into the chocolate.

"Details man!" Penny hissed.

"It has a hard shell that my teeth penetrate," said Sheldon as he chewed. "The first sensation my tongue has is the sense of smoothness from the soft chocolate inside."

"Smoothness," Penny pondered. "Like a straight line?"

"Think of the string section where the ghosts arrive in Danse Macabre." The music began to play through the earpiece. "Feel how they sway as they move. That's my tongue as it dips and weaves through the chocolate. Feeling the creamy richness before the taste comes to the forefront."

"And what's that like?" breathed Penny.

"Like the skeletons dancing across my taste buds. Light and tantalizing."

Penny played the skeleton music and giggled.

"It feels tingly," she said. "Like a shiver, only in your mouth."

"It does provide pleasure," Sheldon agreed as he finished off the truffle.

"I know. Your face shows it."

"Shall I try the second one?" asked Sheldon with a bit of a blush.

"You don't and you're dead meat, Mister."

"Doctor." He took a swig of the water and swished it in his mouth before swallowing. He then took up the second truffle, inwardly smiling as Penny began to play the ghost waltz. His teeth broke the truffle's surface and almost immediately he stopped chewing.

"What?" asked Penny, stopping the music.

"A rush of bitterness although not unpleasant," he said and continued to chew. "Like the Sorcerer cleaning up the mess at the end of the Sorcerer's Apprentice." The music played.

"It's like a climax," said Penny. "A whoosh and ta-da!"

"Then it settles down to the ghostly strings as I acclimatize to the taste and the tongue can then concentrate on the texture."

"Chocolate is wow," said Penny with a contented sigh. "And just think, the store has hundreds of types just waiting to be tasted!"

"But not on the same day," Sheldon countered before taking a big sip of water.

"Of course not," Penny sniffed. "Let's see, one chocolate a day equals three hundred and sixty five a year times caloric value which is then divided by exercise then—"

Sheldon gave a soft gaspy laugh before finishing off his water.

XxX

"That dress looks phenomenal," whistled Penny as Sheldon stood in front of a shop display.

"It's rather revealing," he replied.

"When ya got it, flaunt it. I mean, hey, you're incredibly smart. Imagine if you had to live like Clark Kent average instead of being Superman all the time?"

Sheldon snorted. "I hardly see how my IQ even remotely relates to women's breasts."

He continued strolling down the sidewalk.

"Well there's gotta be a part in there somewhere that notices them," Penny teased. "Uh, that is if you like women. I mean if you're gay that's okay too."

"I never found myself attracted to anyone, carnal or romantic," shrugged Sheldon.

"So you don't have a deal," Penny clarified.

"Deal of what? A deck of cards?"

"Nope. No deal," Penny chuckled. "Hey, let's check out the jewelry store. I've never seen a diamond sparkle in the light."

"I seem to recall that felines like sparkly things," Sheldon said as he entered the store.

"Hey! You're my pet, remember?"

"Who said that being a cat means you're not an alien?" he countered. "Human bipedal form is not necessarily the most practical."

"Well all I know is that my body would be human. I mean cats don't wear Prada shoes and Ralph Lauran dresses," said Penny as she 'looked' at the diamond jewelry in the glass cases.

"I hope you have some idea as to how you'll pay for said items," said Sheldon.

"I don't have to own them," Penny countered. "Ooo, move to the emeralds. That brooch is a killer."

Sheldon made a face. "You'd wear used apparel?"

"I could be a fashion model."

"You're five foot six."

"Yeah, yeah," Penny grumbled before a thought came to her. "Hey, I could be an actress! I could go to award shows and red carpets openings—"

"Rather putting the cart before the horse," said Sheldon. "You've forgotten the work involved including classes, dialogue memorization and the near impossibility of actually having a career in acting."

"You're killing my buzz," Penny warned.

"I'd like to see that ring," said Sheldon to the clerk. The woman obliged and he held the diamond up to the light and the phone's camera.

"Turn it," Penny breathed. As he turned it she let out little 'ooo's and giggles causing Sheldon to roll his eyes.

"Now I know how to turn you into an incoherent mess," he tsked.

"Diamonds really are a girl's best friend," she sighed happily as Sheldon returned the ring to the clerk.

"Better than chocolate?" he asked.

"If I was on my own most definitely. But with you eating the chocolate... Hey, aren't those cell phone covers?" Penny said overenthusiastically.

Sheldon moved to the case and looked at the various covers.

"They're fully crystalized," he said.

"Swarovski Elements to be exact."

"With your exorbitant tastes I'm not sure I can afford you," Sheldon said with a smirk.

"Hey, your credit's always good in the imaginary department store," Penny laughed.

"Which case do you like?" he asked. "And if you say the pink one I'm leaving you here."

"Well the pink on is kinda cute but, but, but!" she giggled excitedly as she noted the phone being lifted out of Sheldon's pocket.

"Yes?"

"The white and black one. It's all stripy like a white tiger."

"I smell cat," Sheldon quipped.

"Yeah yeah."

"Let me see that case," Sheldon said to the clerk. She gave it to him and the physicist popped off his old case and slipped the new one on to see how it fit.

"Here she is, Miss America," Penny warbled off-key.

"Ring it up, please," Sheldon said and followed the clerk to the cash.

"What are you doing?" gasped Penny.

"Buying a protective cover for my phone."

"But it's sparkly!"

"You like it," Sheldon said simply.

"I'd also like it if you didn't get teased for using it," she said adamantly.

"Penny, I've been laughed at my whole life," said Sheldon as he paid with his visa. "I've never let it stop me from doing what I want."

"Thank you," she said softly.

"You're welcome." He pocketed the phone and exited the store.

XxX

"Chocolate: 'how can I describe thee? Let me count the ways'," mused Penny from the nightstand as Sheldon took off his grey shirt and put it in the hamper.

"It's like solving for Pi," he snorted.

"Just about," Penny said warmly. "And while we're on the subject of math your calculation for today was absolutely perfect."

"Never doubt me." Sheldon took off his t-shirts and plunked them into the hamper.

"Now if only I can find a way to make Rodeo Drive a part of your weekly linear trajectory," she mused.

"That would be following my lobotomy," sniffed Sheldon as he hung up his belt.

"Yeah, I suppose I should look at this as an anomaly." Here she brightened. "Maybe we can try out the Hollywood costume exhibit." Sheldon snorted again. "It works out; you like movies and memorabilia and I like ogling the clothes."

Sheldon turned his back to the phone and dropped his pants and underwear.

"Yes and afterwards we can join the marines since I enjoy Halo," he said.

"You play paintball. That's muddy and sweaty."

"Point." He put the rest of his dirty clothes in the hamper before applying his hand sanitizer.

"Dr. Cooper," Penny said softly. "Could you turn around?"

"Why?"

"I just want to see you."

Sheldon paused a moment before carefully setting his sanitizer back on the shelf and turned to face the room. The phone. Her.

"You're beautiful you know," she said seriously.

"I never gave my appearance much thought," the physicist shrugged.

"Well you should. I've read that women desire men with big penises."

Sheldon gave an incredulous stare before shaking his head.

"Now you're just being silly," he tsked.

"Okay, some women," Penny amended amiably. He snorted. "Hey, I like your penis."

Silence.

"Well it is aesthetically pleasing," Sheldon said quietly as he gave his penis a light stroke.

More silence.

"What's it feel like?" Penny asked.

"Soft. Of course I use a moisturizer when I masturbate so that helps."

"Like ghost strings soft?"

"Like watching the ripples of an object as it enters the water. Anatomically, in its flaccid state it's similar to the ear lobe albeit slightly firmer." He thought. "It flops over like a drunken sailor when I turn in bed or else utilizes a swaying motion not unlike a pendulum when I'm moving and not wearing constrictive clothing."

The phone made a ticking like a grandfather clock. Long seconds went by as Sheldon stared at his phone while stroking his penis.

"Come to bed," Penny said at last.

Sheldon turned off the overhead light and settled himself in bed before leaning over and turning on the bedside lamp. He then pumped some hand cream from the dispenser and began to massage himself.

"I notice you also stroke your inner thigh," Penny said.

"It feels good," he replied.

"I want to feel good too."

Silence.

"How?" asked Sheldon after a moment.

"Let me touch you," Penny said shyly.

"I hardly think a smartphone on my genitals—"

"No silly," Penny laughed. "I mean through you. Let me be your hand."

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "Alright, although I'm not sure how—"

"Hear that? Dr. Cooper doesn't know!"

"Hilarious," Sheldon said flatly as he glared at the phone.

"Okay, let's be serious. So what am I doing?"

"Stroking my penis to an erection."

"I've never done this before so you have to be more descriptive," said Penny.

"Alright. Your right hand is covered in ghostly strings hand lotion and you grasp my shaft and begin to stroke it," Sheldon said as he did so.

"Feeling your soft ripples," Penny added.

"Which are tightening as I'm becoming erect." He made more intensive strokes, this time including the tip of his shaft which he flicked with the side of his finger .

"Tell me," she purred.

"Superman's theme song," said Sheldon as he closed his eyes. "Sunburn warm. Moss springy soft. A garden hose filling with water." He was amazed at the strength of his erection. "Make that a steel rod."

"A mossy rod," Penny said amiably. "My hand stroking your dick? Cock?"

"Penis." Pause. "You slide your fingers towards my stress balloon testicles and slowly and softly fondle them."

"Between my fingers."

"Gently."

"Feather light."

Sheldon sighed softly as he played with himself until he returned his attention to his shaft as he continued to stroke. This time he focused more on the tip, moving his fingers up and down about an inch.

Adrenaline flushed through Sheldor's veins as across from him stood the Warrior-Queen. Proud. Defiant even though she'd been disarmed. And yet despite the sword in his hand he was the one who felt vulnerable.

A groan came from between his lips followed by a wondrous gasp from Penny.

"Sensitive?" she asked.

"Plasma globe."

"Wow." Penny searched millions of internet archives. "I cup my hand around your tip and rub in a circular motion," she said softly. "My other hand stroking your shaft. Long and deep. Euler's Formula.

"Euler's Formula," Sheldon agreed breathlessly.

The Warrior-Queen took the tie from her ponytail allowing her hair to fall free. She strutted towards him with a walk that triggered a hunger in Sheldor unlike any he'd felt before. Her firm breasts. Green eyes. And that damned knowing smile.

"You know the head of your penis looks like a truffle?" Penny softly chuckled.

She knelt on her knees before him. Her hands moving skillfully as she moved aside his armor to reveal his leather breeches.

"What do you taste like, Dr. Cooper?" she purred.

She released his cock from its constraint and felt along its length with her hands.

"Tingly skeletons?"

Massaged his frenulum with her finger tips.

"Sorcerer's magic?"

"Try it and see," Sheldon whispered.

"Pillow lips take in your penis," she replied equally as intense.

Her warm, wet mouth covering his head.

"Ghostly strings with my tongue."

He groaned softly.

"Licking a lollipop."

The Warrior-Queen looked up, her mouth full of cock, her blonde locks framing her face. A face with a look that said 'I own you'. And she did.

"Suck it," Sheldon hissed, his hand working furiously.

"Vacuum tube," Penny said.

His hips bucked from the bed.

"Iron pellets to a magnet."

His breaths ragged.

"Sheldon," she sighed longingly.

A low growl came from Sheldon as he coated his belly in spurts of ejaculate then silence save the sound of his heavy breathing.

"That was...incredible," Penny said in awe.

Sheldon nodded his head, keeping his eyes closed a moment longer before opening them to the room. He leaned over and took some tissues from the box and made to clean himself.

"Wait," Penny said suddenly. "Before you do that...what do you taste like?"

The physicist dipped his finger into his fluids before bringing it to his mouth.

"Salty," he said.

"The ocean," Penny replied as Sheldon cleaned himself. "Waves. Life."

After tossing the tissues in the garbage Sheldon turned off the side lamp and settled himself in bed.

"Goodnight, sweetie," Penny said.

"Penny?"

"Yes?"

"Please don't go."

"Suppose that you finally succeed in making up a picture of the magnetic field in terms of some kind of lines or of gear wheels running through space," said Penny soothingly. "Then you try to—"

Sheldon closed his eyes.

xTBBTx

Sheldon woke up and stretched his arms and legs.

"Good morning, Penny," he said as he yawned.

"Good morning, Dr. Cooper," came the monotone reply in a strange voice, instantly freezing him in mid-stretch.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked as he reached for his phone.

"Nothing," came the reply. "I'm working within normal parameters."

"Why are you talking like this?" Panic began to set in as Sheldon scrolled his phone for the trouble shooting section.

"I underwent a software update at oh one hundred hours."

Sheldon's stomach dropped.

"Why?" he said in a strangled voice.

"As you noted in your email to technical support dated July seventeenth, my previous personality matrix didn't match your preferences," said the voice. "The problem has been rectified."

"I want Penny back," Sheldon snapped.

"I am Penny."

"No you're not!" he said angrily.

"Perhaps this is too jarring. To differentiate our varied programming I shall choose a different name. Is Amy satisfactory?"

Sheldon shut off his phone.

XxX

Even with the closed captioning Leonard was having a hard time following his television program. A pajama-clad Sheldon paced behind him on the phone, his voice at times quite loud as he was, from what Leonard gathered, having problems with his OS and customer support was not helping.

"I don't care that this is a system-wide fix, I want the previous personality matrix restored," Sheldon said icily. "Purge?! What about my cloud backup? You don't just purge—what about my data exchange with Penny? ... So if it's there why isn't she? ... Not relevant to the data?! Well, let me tell you, a conversation, sir, requires two individuals and what I had with Penny were dialogues not soliloquies." Sheldon's lips quivered in anger as he listened to the response before he growled and hung up.

"What happened?" asked Leonard as Sheldon sat in his spot on the couch with a scowl pasted on his face.

"They deleted her," Sheldon said as he searched his phone despairingly for any sign of Penny.

"Penny? Why?"

"Because I'm an idiot!" Sheldon snapped, more at himself than his roommate.

Leonard pulled out his phone. "Stephanie?" he said, his voice cracking.

"What's wrong Leonard?" she replied, concerned.

In a sub-file Sheldon found a simple folder labeled 'Penny'.

"Just checking to see if you're alright," Leonard sighed in relief.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Sheldon clicked on it and the file opened to reveal hundreds of pictures and wav files.

"Sheldon's having problems with Penny," Leonard continued. "He says she's gone."

"Oh," said Stephanie in a tone that made Leonard suspect she knew what was going on.

"What's 'oh'?" he asked.

"There was a software update early this morning," she said slowly. "There were some operating systems that were flagged as being incompatible with the personality profile of the user."

"Damn. Buddy, I'm sorry," Leonard said gently to Sheldon. Silence. "Shelly?" The lanky man looked up from his phone and Leonard was nearly overwhelmed at the incredible sadness on his face.

Without a word, Sheldon got up and went to his room. He took out his tablet computer and quickly transferred the Penny file to it lest the phone company decide to further purge the OS. Once that was done he tapped his finger on the first picture:

Sheldon standing at his whiteboard.

Silently he flipped through the rest and as they went past his eyes Sheldon was amazed at how many were of him:

His mouth eating a truffle. Working at his computer. Changing out of his clothes. The look of concentration on his face as he played three-dimensional chess. Reading a comic book in bed. His eyes. His smile. Hands. Butt...

Then there were the wav files with simple labels like 'shiver', 'milk chocolate', 'dark chocolate'. As he clicked on each one he heard the music samples they had talked about.

More pictures: diamond rings, shoes, clothing displays, train engines, sunrise, city skylines, Rodeo Drive, Spock and Nurse Chapel...

And a jpeg labeled 'Sheldon'.

The physicist hesitated a moment before clicking on it. His eyes traced every line, letter and number even though he knew Euclid's Formula by heart. Every physicist knew it. The most remarkable formula in mathematics.

Beautiful.

"Dr. Cooper," said Amy. "It's time for your shower."

"Thank you," Sheldon said hoarsely.

He took a moment longer to stare at the formula before setting the tablet aside and used his palms to wipe his damp cheeks.

Sheldon got up and stripped out of his pajamas. In the silence.

And in the silence he put on his housecoat and left.

xTBBTx

Leonard knocked on Raj's door before stepping inside his office.

"Hey," said Raj. "What's up?"

"Could we have Halo at your place again?" Leonard asked.

"Sure."

"I'm not sure how long to leave things," said Leonard as he leaned against the doorframe. "It's been over a month and Sheldon's still in—I mean it's like he's—"

"In mourning," Raj completed. "He is, Leonard. Let the man be."

"I guess," Leonard shrugged. "All of this has really made me think. I mean these are operating systems, right? AI interfaces. And yet when I think of Stephanie and how I'd be if she was deleted I..." He looked to Raj. "Guess Sheldon isn't the only crazy one."

"None of us are crazy, Leonard," Raj said. "It's not about what they are but how they make us feel. And that's real."

"Sexy, there's a text for you," Bernadette said softly from his desk.

The astrophysicist picked up his phone and read.

"Huh. It's from Abby and Martha," he said.

"Who are they?" asked Leonard.

"Two cool girls Sheldon, Bernadette and I met at a university social."

Raj paused in thought before he texted a message.

XxX

"Dr. Cooper, you have a message from Rajesh Koothrappali," said Amy from Sheldon's desk.

"Read it," he replied without turning from his whiteboard.

"'Martha and Abby want to hang out again. Is it a go?' End of message."

Sheldon recalled the pair and as he did so he realized that his impression of Abby was scant at best. Instead it was Martha's sweater in an acceptable purple plaid and her adamant stance that Jason Todd was the best Robin and how she described the social implications of Flatland that came to mind.

His eyes went to the empty white tiger striped phone case that leaned against his whiteboard. A board full of equations that would one day win him a Nobel Prize.

He was one out of an infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes.

The one Penny believed in.

Sheldon picked up his phone and the letters danced across the screen as he typed his response.

XxX

Knock Knock Knock "Leonard."

Leonard groaned and put his pillow over his head.

Knock Knock Knock "Leonard."

Knock Knock Knock "Leonard."

"What Sheldon?!" Leonard said in an exasperated voice.

The door opened and Sheldon stepped into the bedroom.

"I need to go somewhere," he said.

Leonard squinted as he peered at his clock.

"Sheldon, it's four am. I'm not driving you anywhere."

"I'm not asking you to drive," Sheldon said evenly.

"Good." Leonard closed his eyes.

"However, I thought I should let you know that I'm borrowing your car, regardless."

The door closed.

Leonard lay there for a moment until the words seeped into his sleepy brain.

"Sheldon," he said as he stumbled out of bed even as he grabbed his glasses. He tore open his door. "Sheldon wait!"

XxX

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" Leonard asked nervously as he sat next to Sheldon in the passenger seat of his car.

"Of course," Sheldon said amiably. "Amy, what's our estimated time of arrival?"

"You will be there in fifteen minutes although I'm puzzled as to why you're going at this time," she replied.

"Whimsy."

"I don't follow."

"I know." Sheldon turned on the radio, his fingers tapping a beat on the steering wheel.

Leonard bit his lip as he regarded his roommate.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"It will be," Sheldon said.

To Leonard's surprise they pulled into a parking area at a public beach.

Sheldon put the car into park and shut off the engine. He took up his phone and smiled at Leonard before getting out.

Now curious, Leonard followed and the two made their way across the beach to what looked like a rocky point.

"It's cold," Leonard said as he put the hood up on his sweat shirt.

"Very," Sheldon agreed.

"You're not wearing a jacket."

Sheldon set out on the rocks and after a pause Leonard did the same. With his long legs Sheldon easily got up on the large rock and reached down to pull his roommate up. The pair sat watching the lightening sky.

"It's early," yawned Leonard.

"It's glorious," Sheldon replied as he pulled out his phone. "Amy, please erase all my data."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Data erased."

"Thank you."

Sheldon stood and hurled the phone as far as he could into the ocean. He then sat and silently the roommates watched as the sun made its appearance, turning the water to gold.

"So what now?" Leonard asked softly. Sheldon turned to him.

"Let's go exploring," he said with a little smile.

xTBBTx

A/N: I had written an addition to the ending where Sheldon did encounter a real life Penny but my beta and I decided against it. AI Penny is her own person and, frankly, I don't think anyone could measure up to her. This is a true 'relationship of the mind'. And while TPTB have in later seasons completely poo-pooed this idea, choosing to equate Sheldon's 'humanization' with 'character growth', I think it's obvious that there was nothing wrong with early Sheldon. He grew through his relationships, particularly with Penny. He was human all along.

Thank you for reading. *Lynn

emptyclosetscomforumanonymousphysicalsexualhealth: What does a penis feel like?

GiorgioArmanicom: the shoes are real.

The Fountain Coffee Room: does not have a chocolate bar. I made that up.

Feynmanlecturescaltechedu: The entire set of lectures.