Kirby Right Back At Ya! Episode 101

Hello, ! I am ArtisticKirby, but you can call me AK. I decided to join this website because someday I will be an author and illustrator, and I need to practice my writing! (This won't be what my books will be like, though. This is just what happens when you hand me a laptop and a bottle of Coke at 1:00 in the morning.)

Anyways, I would just like to say that before you read this, I am not against Hoshi No Kaabii. I am against the 4Kids dub. So I thought, "Eh, why not make fun of the thing I hate?" So I did.

(I apologize to the people out there who liked this show. Seriously.)

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING. I only own the idea. I mean, I'm pretty sure it's original.

"What do y'all mean I can't has no more monsters...y'all! I gots to...y'all!" King Dedede slammed his fist on his throne.

"Sorry, King Dedede! It looks like we don't have any in stock!" Customer Service (CS) replied, then did that stupid laugh of his.

"That's a load of burnt toast!" Escargoon tried to get a swear past the 4Kids gods, who were staring daggers down at him.

"To be honest with you guys, we kind of ran out of monster ideas," CS put his hand behind his head.

"Already...y'all?" King Dedede was flabbergasted.

"Sorry, Triple D. Guess you'll have to wait 'till the next episode!" CS signed off, and turned towards the poor writers of the show who were working in a really sweaty writers workshop.

"C'mon, hurry up!" he demanded.

Our episode begins at the castle. Come to think of it, when does an episode NOT begin at the castle? I mean, what's so cool about the castle? Kirby doesn't live there.

Oh, right, I forgot. This show isn't about Kirby. It's about Lord Raspyvoice and Lady Brattysnob, two characters who don't even exist in a single Kirby game but were just added because why the freakin' heck not.

So anywhoozles, Bun - excuse me - TUFF, was playing with his 'friends'. And Fumu - excuse me - TIFF, was writing in a journal that just so happened to look like her clothes. Then she screamed at her stupid brother for no reason. "TUFF! STOP ENJOYING YOUR LIFE AND FOLLOW ME!"

"WHY?" he screamed back.

"BECAUSE I'M 67% SURE THAT KING DEDEDE IS BEING EVIL AGAIN!"

"STOP BEING SUCH A WORRY WART!"

"HOW DARE YOU?! NO ONE INSULTS THE STAR OF THE SHOW!"

Tuff decided to follow his stupid, lousy, ugly, obnoxious, pieceofturtlepooAKDESPISESTIFF sister. They walked down the hall, and then Meta Knight was there.

"Hola," he greeted them in Spanish for no reason at all.

Tiff scoffed. "Meta Knight! You KNOW I don't speak Malaysian! Now come on!"

"Why the heck would I?" Meta Knight asked flatly. "I despise you."

"You have to come because you're 25% necessary to the plot! Now COME ON!" Tiff screamed in her Tiff voice. Stupid Tiff. I hate your Tiff voice.

Meta Knight said a lot of stuff in Spanish. I'd tell you what he was saying, but my Spanish isn't that good. But that's alright, he was saying swear words anyway. If the 4Kids gods spoke Spanish, he would get it.

Tuff, however, could speak Spanish, so he started giggling like a little ninny.

Our next scene is Kirby's house. Wait, it's not? It's Cappy Town? What in Toon Link's name is CAPPY TOWN?! THAT'S NOT IN MAH KIRBEH GAMES UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGHH.

Okay, so we're in 'Cappy Town'. Or, in Japanese, it's Pupu Village. Ha ha, I laughed because that sounds like-

Suddenly a little green bird thing that looks like a booger flew by. "HOWDY, Y'ALL! ANY OF YOU HERE CAPPIES SEEN MAH WHIPPIN' BOY, KIRBEH?" the bird whose name was apparently Tokkori screeched.

Nobody had seen Kirbeh, so Tokkori decided to go home.

Except, AK wasn't particularly fond of Tokkori, so she killed him off by zapping him with her "GRRYOUARENOTINAKIRBYGAME" ray.

Then some creepy...things came out of their homes. They looked like a cross between a potato sack and those gyroids from Animal Crossing, which is a game AK likes, so this enrages her.

Then King Dedede and that snail whose name is a cross between 'escargot' and 'goon' drove by in their limo.

So, if you're confused, let me explain. A bunch of potato sack-gyroids stared at a fat blue penguin in a robe and a snail driving a limousine.

Seems legit.

Anywhoozles, Triple D's all like, "Hay, U CAPPEHS! Y'ALL WANNA GET IN MAH LIMO...Y'ALL?"

"But we're not supposed to get in cahs driven by purple snails!" said a cappy with a Boston accent.

"But this ain't a car. It's a limo...y'all."

"YUPOKAY," all of the stupid moronic bumbling foolish dimwitted cappies chorused as they all somehow fit into the limousine.

And they drove back to the castle.

"Do you have any 5's?" asked Sword Knight, whose voice was even raspier that Tuff's and also it was Australian or British I dunno.

"S'allroightheugo," Blade Knight responded in an inaudible voice as he handed over his 5's.

It was Meta Knight's turn.

"Tiff," he said in his Mexican accent. "Do you have any 8's?"

"Go fish," she replied.

"LIES!" Meta Knight picked up the table and threw it out the window onto the head of a poor waddle dee named Waddley.

"Ow," he said in an extremely adorable high-pitched voice. Unfortunately, the 4Kids gods don't like characters with adorable high-pitched voices, so they disposed of Waddley and hired a different waddle dee: Manly McBufferstein. Manly McBufferstein had a very manly voice. The 4Kids gods smiled down upon Manly McBufferstein.

After precisely 5 hours, 23 minutes, and 46 seconds, King Dedede and the snail whose name is a horrible pun and all of the potato sack-gyroids returned to the castle.

"Good...y'all!" the blue penguin with a symbol on his back that half of the Kirby fans assume is a bunny's head but actually it's his two fingers making a peace sign said.

"So why are we here?" asked some random cappy. Let's call him Salvatore.

"For my evil plan...y'all!"

Everyone stared at him. Even Salvatore.

"Ah mean, for mah birthday parteh...y'all?"

Everyone began muttering crap like, "Oh, that makes sense!" and "Seems legit". Has anyone noticed that AK says 'seems legit' in tons of her fanfics? Yes? No? Maybe? So? You hadn't before but now that AK mentions it, ya do?

Great. AK does that kind of thing for you because she loves you.

Not really.

Anywhoozles, so the stupid cappies assumed it was King Dedede's birthday, so the one whose name is Curio was all like, "Don't you need a gift?"

Then King Dedede did that creepy grin that the Grinch did in that one Christmas special, and answered, "Why, yes, y'all! I does need a gift, now don't I...Y'ALL?!"

They were all like, "Yeah sure I guess."

Then King Dedede told them, "FOR MAH GIFT, I WANT Y'ALL TO KILL KIRBEH BECAUSE AH KILL INNOCENT CHILDREN CUZ WE LIVE IN THAT KIND OF SOCIETY...Y'AAAAALL."

Everyone was all like, "YES! MURDER THE KID BECAUSE WE LIVE IN THAT KIND OF SOCIETY!" And they pulled out pitchforks and torches from Heaven knows where.

Then they went to kill Kirby at his house!

So, we cut to Kirby's house-ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME WE ARE JUST IN A DIFFERENT ROOM IN THE FREAKING CASTLE WHERE THE HECK IS KIRBY I WAS PROMISED A SHOW ABOUT KIRBY UUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH!

"Okay, so King Dedede is probably like, in this room," Meta Knight said in a surfer dude voice.

"Totally radical," Tuff agreed, and the bunch of stupid people and Meta Knight walked into the throne room. Sure enough, King Dedede WAS there, and he was talking to his goon that was escargot.

So they listened to their 2 hour and 36 minute conversation, and then found out that the potato sack-gyroids were headed to Kirby's house angry-mob-style.

So they decided to FINALLY go to Kirby's house.

Meta Knight suggested that he could just fly everyone there, but the 4Kids gods did not like that idea, and they took his wings off, so they just had to walk.

And then they were FINALLY at Kirby's house. Kirby was inside and he was asleep. *AK fangirl screams here*

But unfortunately for the adorable baby, Tiff's nasally snob voice woke him up.

"KIIIIIRBYYYYY! AN ANGRY MOB IS COMING TO YOUR HOOOOOOUUUSSSEEEEEE! KKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLL TTHHEEEEEEMMM!"

Kirby groaned in his adorable Kirby voice and walked outside. Then Kirby noticed the angry mob.

For some reason, Kirby had no freaking idea what to do. So he decided to be a man about it and run away.

Then Tiff decided to say to him, "KIIIIIRRRRBYYYYYY! STOOOOP RUUUUNNIIIIIINNNNGGG!"

Kirby was annoyed by Tiff's bratty whining.

Dedede and that snail dude magically appeared out of nowhere and watched. Kirby's backside was burnt by a cappy's torch.

AK was not particularly fond of that cappy since it hurt her favorite video game character, so she zapped him with her "OMGYOUJUSTHURTKIRBYDIE" ray.

"Looks like that Kirby is burnt toast," the idiot snail declared, trying to make a joke.

AK was not particularly fond of the snail whose name is Escargon in Japan but Escargoon in English because puns. So she zapped him with her "IDONTCAREIFYOUWEREINKIRBYMASSATTACKDIEANYWAYS" ray.

So then Tiff decided to scream at Kirby, who was currently being stabbed with a pitchfork. "HEY, KIRBY! SUCK IT UP!"

"Suck it up? SUCK IT UP?!" Oh, look. Kirby has been granted the ability to speak. Now he can express his true opinions through swearing.

"YOU ALWAYS FREAKING TELL ME TO 'SUCK IT UP'! OH, LOOK! KIRBY'S OVER THERE DYING RIGHT NOW, BUT THAT'S OK, I'LL JUST TELL HIM TO SUCK IT UP AND GET ON WITH HIS LIFE THAT COULD QUITE POSSIBLY END IN 5 MINUTES!"

"What? No, I mean-"

"WHAT YOU MEAN, TIFF, IS THAT WHAT YOU SAY IS OKAY! BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS ABOUT YOUR LIFE DRAMA, YOUR PROBLEMS, YOU BEING THE SUMMONER OF THE WARPSTAR, YOU BEING THE SELFISH STICK IN THE FREAKING MUD! BECAUSE THIS SHOW ISN'T CALLED 'KIRBY', NO. IT'S CALLED 'TIFF, THE OBNOXIOUS BRAT WHO PUSHES PEOPLE AROUND, JUMPS TO CONCLUSIONS, AND ALWAYS GETS HER WAY'! WELL, YA KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN KEEP YOUR DANG SHOW, 'CUZ I QUIT! YEAH, YOU HEARD ME! I FREAKING QUIT! SEE YA, SUCKERS!"

And Kirby left.

Everyone just stood there.

"I'm a brat?" Tiff pondered.

Meta Knight stared at her for a while. Then he stabbed her in the chest, snatched his wings back from the 4Kids gods, reattached them with a Pepsi can and a paper clip, and ran after Kirby.

"Wow, my own show! I can't believe it! We can call it, 'Tiff: Right Back At Ya-"

Just then, AK remembered that she despised Tiff. So she zapped her with her "IDESPISEYOU" ray.

Then the episode ended. And Meta Knight's mask came off. And everyone finally knew that Meta Knight looked like a CREDITS

Kirby...Adorable
Tiff...Lady Brattysnob
Tuff...Lord Raspyvoice
Meta Knight...The Taco Delivery Guy
King Dedede...Y'AAAAAALLLLL
ArtisticKirby...The girl who thought that this was actually funny.
Everyone else...I don't care.

THE END.

I apologize for that. That was a HECK of a lot of fun to write though. But hey, ya made it to the end! Here, have a muffin. *AK hands you a muffin*

I know Kirby quit, but I'm thinking maybe I should do more. Maybe I'll make another goofy fanfic with something else, like Animal Crossing or the Wind Waker. Actually, Wind Waker sounds like fun to do. You decide.

As always, I'd love to hear what you think! So please leave a review! You don't have to, though. I just mean if you want to. Thanks! :D

~ArtisticKirby