My chest heaves for air, I'm barely able to breathe. Yet another scream escapes my throat, barely audible since I had lost my voice several yells before. This was it, this was my worst nightmare imaginable, no, it was worse. It made all of my fears seem minuscule at the moment, being able to think of nothing else than my own action, the scene replaying over and over in my head, I told myself it wasn't real, it was just a dream. It was the same dream I had every night since I met Octavia, the same...I breathlessly fell to my knees, feeling liquid being absorbed into my fur, not knowing if it was blood or my own tears. I can't see, I can't breath, I can't hear. Just ringing, that horrible ringing, seemingly in all of my senses, telling me something absolutely horrific has happened. I let out another meaningless shriek as I come to reality and know that this isn't a nightmare.

"No, no, no..." I squeak, looking into her cold, dead eyes and down at the shards of glass around her. I feel myself begin to breath faster again as I go into another panic attack. "NONONONONO!" I hold my head, screaming with no voice, only precious air escaping my lungs. "O-OCTAVIA!" I slip in the poor of fluid, realizing I regained my vision, I look down to see crimson red dripping down my frame to my hooves. I grab her hoof, checking her pulse again.

Nothing.

My world was so distorted, everything looked so twisted, giving off an eerie effect. Was I going into another...phase? What I call a phase, others call insanity. It's a few moments when I have absolutely no control over my actions or thoughts, my mind seemingly in an unconscious state while my body does...well, I don't know. I have no memory when it happens, usually Octavia tells me it's just a few spastic movements and some words that are not intelligible. Octavia can always calm me down enough to stop...all she has to do is talk to me softly or pull me into an embrace and I immediately stop. I don't know what happened this time, now that I think about it, all I remember is seeing her on the floor dead. No rhyme or reason why...

I let out another sob and gently stroke her mane, now drenched in her own blood. Did I do this? How...and...why? Did my subconscious want her dead? How could this be...she's my best friend.

Although, she never did like my wubs.