I've always been a fan of TMNT. It's one of my favorites. This is a the beginning of a series of short stories I started writing, about what could happen is April and Raphael started down a path other than friendship. I don't own any of the characters from TMNT.

Chapter 1

Fear use to be a constant annoyance in the back of April's mind. Fear of the tiniest things, even ridiculous things. Fear is just how she operated. It motivated her and paralyzed her at the same time. She kept her circle of friends small because trust wasn't easy to come by these days. She had her apartment, her job, and for the last year she had them. Her very unique group of new friends, the turtles. Leo, Mikey, Donny, and Raph had been the most amazing and unbelievable addition to her life. Then there were the constant inconstant of Casey Jones. But Casey was Casey. He was important, but he hadn't had quite the same impact as the other four.

April had spent her nights hanging underground with the guys or they had been above hanging in her apartment. Through the last year she had created bonds with each of them, all of them affected each other in a different way. Donny was the one she could have serious, intellectual, and technological conversations with. Leo was the leader and probably the strongest mentally, he and April could confide in each other about their dreams and fears. Mikey was the jokester and she was guaranteed to laugh her ass off whenever they hung out together. And then there was Raph. Raphael. He seemed to have the most unusual and confusing affect on April. She had always felt especially drawn to him. He was complicated and angry. They could talk all night and she could tear down every one of his walls, just for them to be built back up a few hours later.

They spent a great deal of time together and she never wanted it to end. Sometimes she would sit and think about how odd it was and then again it oddness of it had very little impact compared to how good he made her feel when they talked. Raph was on her mind a lot more than usual lately and it was a thought that she couldn't shake. Their late night hang outs had become more and more frequent. In fact she was lazily cleaning up her laundry and wiping down her bathroom waiting for him to arrive.

Raph was trying to slow his walk to April's. His heart was pounding and his face was warm. It was he and April's third night to hang out this week and he wasn't the least bit tired of seeing her, he couldn't get to her fast enough. His perfect April. He didn't understand his new found feelings, he just knew he had them and they scared the shit out of him when he wasn't around her. But when he was with her, Raph felt perfectly content.

At the same time, in the back of his mind sat his fear of all of it. The fear of not being able to tell April how he felt, the fear of her rejection if he ever did tell her, and the destruction of their friendship completely due to the fact that he was a monster and she was an angel. How could she even consider the thought of promising herself to him, physically, mentally, or emotionally? It would be sickening for her and heaven for him. He could never ask that of her. Raph tried to push all the negative thoughts to the side and focus on his evening of quietly hanging out with his favorite person.

He kept his pace steady as he climbed down the fire escape to her apartment window. He knelt down on the grated platform and looked through the window. April came through the hall into the living room/kitchen area. Raph could tell she hadn't been home too long because she had changed into sweats and a tank top, but her hair was still beautifully styled in her loose curls and her makeup was still intact. He loved the way her hair grazed her cheeks softly, the way he wanted to touch her with his hands. She must have been on TV today due to her face being made up more than usual. She tossed the laundry off to the side of the front door and was making her way back to the kitchen when Raph decided to knock on the window.

April turned and smiled at him and walked over to lift the window for him. Raph tried not to stare at her beautiful bare collar bone and… Well, below her collar bone.

"Hey, I was wondering if you were on our way." She greeted as he hopped inside the apartment.

"You still wanted to hang tonight, didn't you?" He asked wondering if he should have called and double checked beforehand.

"Absolutely." She replied shutting the window behind Raph, "I always want to hang out with you."

He tried not to blush as the warm tingly feeling washed over him. I always want to hang out with you. All he wanted to do was confess his true undying love because you know, hanging out equals love and all. Get it together, Raphael he thought to himself.

"So, were you on TV today?" He began trying to change the subject.

She turned and grinned and struck her best covergirl pose, "It is that obvious with my twenty pounds of makeup and gloriously curled hair?" She said sarcastically. He chuckled at her a he accepted the beer she passed to him, "Yes, my dear, I was in the middle of time square flapping my arms like a bird on a trampoline and it was called exercise."

"Sounds intense." Raph commented in the same sarcastic tone.

April set the lid of her beer on the edge of the counter and smashed it with her hand and the lid flew off into Raph's palm. Their routine had become pretty regular, "Oh I'm almost certain the dojo would not compare to what I did today." They clanged their bottles together.

"I'm perfectly sure you could kick my ass from here to China Town, O'Neil." He joked before taking a long sip of his beer and tossing April's bottle cap in the trash, "Swoosh."

"What did you do today?" She sipping her beer.

He rolled his eyes at April, "Uh, what do I do everyday?"

She grinned at his foul tone, "Just making sure something life altering didn't take place while I was at work. For all I know, you could have met the love of your life and left the country today."

No because it's you he thought, "Nope, not today. I think I'll be in the country for a while."

April plucked the pizza menu from the drawer and slid it to Raph, "Good, I'd miss you. You hungry?"

"That's rhetorical, right?" He replied gazing at his pizza options.

She slid the phone to him next, "Yep. Anything but anchovies."

"I know, I know." Raph moaned as he dialed the number.

They sat on the couch eating they're large cheesy pizza as usual, talking about anything that came to mind. He watched her talk so animatedly about things and her facial expressions were hysterical. She got so into her stories, that even the lamest story was funnier when she told it because her telling was so over the top. It made him wonder if he was ever even willing to risk ruining their friendship over a crush. Would it still be this easy to be together? Then a pepperoni landed on his plastron and he snapped to attention.

"What was that for?" He asked as he plucked the pepperoni off his muscular chest and ate it.

"You zoned out on me." April answered taking a bite of pizza.

He tried to grin slyly, "Sorry, you're just so boring." He joked and another pepperoni landed on his chest. He ate it up just like before, "If I keep insulting and ignoring you, will I get all the pepperoni?"

"Oh shut it!" April lightly kicked his thigh.

"You know what; I think it's time for your news report to run again." He said tauntingly and grabbed the remote.

"Oh, no you don't!" She exclaimed and jumped at him on the other end of the couch, but Raph already had the TV on switched to Channel 3.

"Ohh, too slow, O'Neil." He taunted some more as they heard her name announced on TV and the tape of April jumping on the trampoline came on.

April groaned and covered her face in embarrassment as she fell down onto the sofa, "Turn it off!"

"This is very educational. You look very bird like, Ape." He pushed and she jerked the remote from him and switched the channel.

"It's horrible, Raph." She said a little more seriously and he contained his joking for the moment.

"You're just starting out on TV, April. You're not going to get the good stuff right away. Starting at the bottom is nothing to be ashamed of."

She nodded, "I know, but this is just… Ugh. It's just bad."

"You'll get there. You're too annoying persistent." He said sincerely.

She smiled sweetly at his half compliment. She knew how he meant it. He knew she was too much of a go getter and wouldn't give up until she got the stories she wanted, "Thanks, Raph." She sat back up and hugged his neck.

He tried to stay calm and discretely smell her hair as he hugged her back. He didn't want to let her go when she pulled away. She made his heart do cartwheels and he wouldn't have it any other way. The feelings she created were the most fulfilling he's had in a long time. A couple of years ago, succeeding at karate made him feel satisfied and happy with himself, but as he got older and his hormones started kicking in, karate just didn't do it anymore.

April smiled at him for a moment and he smiled back. They sat there for a little longer than they probably should. But neither of them wanted to break the trance. April blinked first but she hugged him again quickly and then got up to clean up the pizza box.

Raph took a deep breath and tried to calm his heart beats. He loved her so much it ached now. The sweet glances were like nothing he had ever experienced before. Like the ones he saw in the romance movies that Mikey said he didn't know were romance movies, but he really did know, he just didn't want to admit it to his brothers. Raph would see those faces and wish someone could look at him like that.

"You need help, Ape?" He said finally standing up after he calmed a little.

"No, I'm just tossing it in the sink. I'm not cleaning now. Movie?"

But there conversation was interrupted but a tap at the window. Raph figured it was his brothers. They randomly showed up when they didn't have anything else to do. He opened the window and he was right. Leo, Mikey, and Donny fell in one by one. He was about to shut the window when a hand slipped under it.

"Whoa, man, I'm out here, too." Casey Jones' voice said through the glass.

"Sorry, Case, I didn't see you there." Raph replied and opened the window again.

"Hey, guys." April greeted everyone.

"What's up, babe?" Casey said winking as he walked to kitchen.

April rolled her eyes and only Raph noticed and he grinned to himself, "Hey, Casey. You guys thirsty? We already ate, but we can order another pizza if you want."

"Nah, we grabbed food before we came over." Casey replied popping open a beer.

Raph was trying not to let his disappointment show as everyone settled in obviously with the intention of staying for a while. It had become a group evening and Casey's constant flirtations. He knew April didn't really buy into them, but it irritated Raph nonetheless. Why couldn't he be more forward with her like that? But he knew why. That wasn't his personality. He was closed off and quiet. April was the only person he ever really opened up to besides his brothers.

The night had gone on and it was fun and April loved her guys and yet she couldn't help but be disappointed on some level that she and Raph's quiet night had been interrupted. They all squeezed on the sofa and watched Mikey do his best Rocky Balboa impression.

Mikey was jumping around in a boxing stance, "Ah, you know, maybe I'll fight Apollo, maybe I won't. Yo, Adriaaaannnn!"

They all laughed as Mikey jumped around as if he won a victory. Donny continued the entertainment with his Cagney impression and Raph rolled his eyes because he had seen Donny do this a thousand and one times. He glanced at April who was sitting one seat over. Casey had annoyingly wedged himself between he and April. She had her hand covering her mouth as she laughed at the guys. It made him smile. She felt his eyes on her and she glanced back at him and winked cutely at him. He tried not to blush.

The night was coming to an end and everyone was saying their good nights.

"Are you guys sure you don't want to crash here?" She asked again as they opened the window.

"Nah, we're good, April." Donny answered and gave her a one armed hug, "It's only a fifteen minute walk."

Casey plopped back on the couch as if he was going to get comfortable for the rest of the night. They all looked at him.

"What?" He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't feel like walking home." Then his jacket landed on his face and Raph chuckled.

"Get up, lazy ass." He said and Casey moaned as he heaved up off the sofa and then he turned back to April, "G'night. It was fun, as usual."

She smiled softly, "I had fun, too. Call me when you guys make it home."

Raph nodded and turned to go out the window. The others followed in suit as they said their byes.