A Lie Detector Romanoff Couldn't Beat

An idea sparked by a line from the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Season 1 episode "The Only Light in the Darkness." So tiny spoilers for that if you care. Takes place after the Avengers but before CAWS. Not betaed, so all mistakes are mine.

It had been a long day at the Triskelion and Natasha was ready to curl up with a book, Clint, and the animals—not necessarily in that order. She unlocked the door to their house in Arlington. As she suspected, Lucky was waiting to greet her with his tail wagging. Natasha glanced into the living room to her left and saw Liho glaring at her from the back of the couch, but there was no Clint in sight. She did, however, smell one of her favorite Italian dishes simmering in the kitchen.

She scratched Lucky behind his ears and asked him to find the archer. The dog bolted up the stairs with his toenails clattering on the hardwood. Nastasha shook her head and laughed at the dog's enthusiasm, an enthusiasm clearly not shared by the brooding cat Clint had taken to the vet earlier that day.

When Lucky reached the top of the stairs, he turned to wait for her. Unlike the dog she made her way silently without causing a single squeak or groan as she took the old steps two at a time. She followed Lucky and the sound of humming drifting from their bedroom.

"Hey, Tash." He smiled at her as he stepped from the bathroom. She took note of his damp hair and skin flushed from the heat of the shower. She happily observed that he hadn't shaved his day's growth of stubble, and he had dressed in her favorite pair of jeans and plaid button-up that brought out the color of his eyes.

She strolled over and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as his snaked around her waist. "I must admit; I am starting to become a bit suspicious. You spent your day off taking my cat to get her shots." She paused and then asked, "Is that a scratch on your cheek?"

She placed a quick kiss on his minor wound before continuing, "I can smell deliciousness cooking in the kitchen. You are wearing your sexy clothes with that stubble you know turns me on. Are you planning on getting lucky, Hawkeye?" The dog barked excitedly. "Not you, goof," she said to the dog.

"Well, I figured since you were spending the day as Fury's lab rat, you deserved a bit of pampering tonight." He leaned in and kissed her more soundly than her brief peck on the check. She sighed and snuggled against his chest as he pulled away. "How did it go?"

She looked up at him with a smirk she reserved just for him. He grinned back at her and pulled her in the direction of the reading nook she insisted on having by the window. "I can't wait to hear all about it," he replied as he settled himself on the chaise and pulled her into his lap.

"Fury set out to build, and I am quoting him here, 'a lie detector Romanoff can't beat.'" Clint erupted into his rarely heard deep belly laugh. "I am serious," she continued.

He managed to get himself mostly under control and reached up to push one of her curls behind her ear. "So, how did that work out for him?" He snickered.

"He now has a machine that measures ninety-six variables—you know, galvanic skin response, oxygen consumption, micro-expressions, biofeedback, brain waves, pupil dilation, voice biometrics, that kind of thing."

"Impressive. How many of those ninety-six variables did you beat? One hundred?" He winked.

"Well after five hours of alternating between lying through my teeth and telling the truth, while my head was surrounded by some sci-fi metal contraption of Fury's design and my wrists were strapped to a chair—you know how much I hate that—I threw it on a truth. I gave them a galvanic skin response, pupil dilation, and about five other responses. It made Fury's day." She said as she played with the buttons of his shirt.

He laughed and pulled her more closely to his chest. "You let them see you sweat? Ha! The Black Widow only sweats when she is training or fighting. Natasha Romanoff only sweats when she is having mad sex with her man." She swatted his arm. "The whole sweating thing didn't make Fury suspicious?" He felt her tense up in his arms.

"Well, I am sure he will figure it out when he goes through the full results in the report. If he doesn't I will fess up before he rushes to mass production. We can't have him thinking the machine is foolproof—granted it does work for 99.9 percent of people."

"So, Black Widow, what was the truth you turned into a lie?"

"The tech asked if anyone has ever been able to tell when I am lying." She grinned. "With sweat glistening on my brow, pupils dilated, some micro-expressions around my mouth, and quite possibly a nervous tick, I said yes, you. When Fury figures out I beat his precious machine, he is going to be pissed. He may send me on a mission with Steve to help get the man a date, or worse to Budapest with Stark. Fury spent millions to build a machine that can't do what one full-time, salaried agent has been doing for years."

"Touché. Yet you left off the part about benefits," he said as he slipped his rough hands under her top.

"No, this falls under bonuses for completed missions; you did take care of Liho today at great personal risk." She shuddered as she pulled his head down to nuzzle her throat.

"Poor, Nick. Little did he know, when he started his futile project, that he already had a lie detector Romanoff couldn't beat. I love you, Tash." He said as he started unbuttoning her blouse.

"Love is for children, Barton." She whispered nipping his ear.

He slipped off her blouse and moved in for another kiss, which elicited a sigh from Natasha. "I can detect when you are lying, Agent Romanoff, and I plan to spend the rest of the evening sensing and tracking all your variables."