Castle, her fiancé, has been missing for 3 weeks now. Three weeks of living in a hellish nightmare, where each dead end is harder and harder to accept. She has been working nonstop trying to follow even the smallest lead.

It hits her one morning as she opens the cabinet door below the sink, in the bathroom of her apartment. She squats down to look into the open cabinet door for a new razor. Kate grabs the box of razors opens it, and takes one out. As she put the box back, her arm brushes against the box of tampons, the unopened box, which had been under her sink for a while since she had been spending her time at the loft.

She slowly rises to stand up, her brain working frantically and processing the information. She places the razor on the counter. No, she thinks, no, how long has it been? She races out of the bathroom into the bedroom to retrieve her phone from the night stand. She picks up the phone, enters the password and brings up the calendar. She looks for the last time she marked her period in her calendar. She has to scroll back to April 26 before she finds the date.

Her heart sinks and then starts to pound in her chest. She takes several deep breaths to keep herself from panicking and calm her racing heart. Be realistic, Kate, she tells herself, maybe with the stress of trying to find Castle her body is out of whack, but she has a sinking feeling that's not the case.

She needs an answer, needs to know if she's carrying Castle's baby.

As her mind continues to race with thoughts, she wants to know if this some type of cruel cosmic joke that is laughing in her face. Is the universe taunting her with a reminder of how much she misses Castle? Telling her she won't be able to find Castle? That she will have to carry his baby and raise it on her own without him? No! She will find Castle and they will have their perfect day. Castle said it himself they can't stop fighting for their happy ending!

Taking one last deep breath she realizes she needs to go to the drug store and get a test. That way she can get an answer.

She dresses quickly, grabs her purse and heads to the drugstore a block away.

She walks into the drug store and heads down the aisle.

Why are there so many tests to pick from? There are tests that give you an electronic answer and ones that give you the answer with lines. For some reason all these choices make her feel overwhelmed. She reaches for a test and decides to take one of each. Holding both tests in her hand she walks to the checkout, pays, then heads back to her apartment.

On the walk back to her apartment she thinks about the discussion she and Castle had after watching Benny. She wants to make babies with Castle, she wants carry his child; she wants to do this with him. She will do this with him, she will find Castle. Enough she tells herself, no need to get all worked up until she gets the answer.

Gathering herself she heads up the stairs to her apartment, anxious to get that answer. Opening the door, she puts her purse down, takes her bag from the drugstore and heads to the bedroom.

She then heads into the bathroom and puts the bag from the drugstore on the bathroom sink and pulls the tests out. She reads the directions for both tests, which end up being the same. She unbuttons her pants and pulls them down along with her panties and sits on the toilet.

She can't believe she's really doing this; she's going to pee on stick to find out if she's carrying a baby, Castle's baby. The tears are building; she never thought she would do this alone.

Her mind drifts to how she thought this moment would go, having to shove Castle out of the bathroom and make him wait outside the closed bathroom door. She did not want him staring at her while she sat on the toilet to pee on a stick.

Back to the present, the reality of this hits her, as she holds one of the pregnancy tests with her fingers. Things have always been difficult and challenging for them, this is just another hurdle to jump. At least that's what she keeps telling herself, hoping it will lead her to believe that truth.

The deed is done and she places both pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter, sets her phone timer for 3 minutes and waits.

She went back to her bedroom and sat on the bed, waiting for the timer go off.

Her mind was racing, how would she tell Martha, Alexis, her dad? Her mind drifted to how she ended back at her apartment. Martha and Alexis were crushed when she told them she needed to stay at her place for a few days. She just felt she couldn't put the proper murder board, well missing person board, together living with them. She didn't want them to see what little information she had. She needed to find a useful lead, a solid lead.

She hears the timer go off, bringing her back to the present. Getting off the bed and walking into the bathroom she looks at the tests, both were positive. She and Castle made a baby! She was now even more determined to find Castle, their baby needs him. She needs him.

A/N This is the first fanfic I have ever written. I would appreciate your feedback. Prompt from CastleFanFicPrompts on tumblr. After Castle's car crash Kate discovers she pregnant.