Author's Note:
THIS DID NOT SEEM LONG WHEN I WAS WRITING IT BUT IT'S LIKE 5K SO HANG ON FOR THE RIDE I GUESS
Basically Endless Part II (even though you don't have to read that to appreciate this) featuring all of my near and dear ships and cheesy sitcom shenanigans.
NOT TO BE TAKEN AS MY SERIOUS WRITING STYLE. I just needed to breathe and write the crack.
ALSO featuring my second time around (I still need to post my first) writing Tour!Sniper. (Who, for those of you who don't yet know, is a girl. With braids. Who loves Specs. But not like that. All of that has been canon, even if not current.) So yeah. here goes.
~CW
December 31, 2014
7:23 PM
"You guys brought the punch for the party, right?"
Jack stood at the front door of his and Crutchie's apartment and waved in the Jacobs brothers.
"No, Jack," Davey said, lifting the giant, full punch bowl in his arms. "This is the blood of an elephant. Thought you'd enjoy that."
Jack took the bowl from him and walked it through the busy living room, where the boys chattered about in the foreground of the Times Square New Years Eve special.
"Specs, Romeo, Crutchie, Jojo, Elmer, Katherine and Race are all here," he told the brothers behind him as he set the bowl down on the coffee table. He threw down a line of red Solo cups next to it. "That jus' leaves the girls. They must still be on the subway from the Bronx."
"Uh, right." Davey shifted on his feet and put a hand on the much younger boy's back. "Jack, are you absolutely sure this is a party that Les should be here for? I mean, things won't get outta hand, will they?"
"Dave, when have one of these little get-togethers been anything more than just bummin' around, having innocent fun?"
Davey lowered his eyebrows. "May I recall your mind to the Appetizer Incident of '14."
"That was Race's idea, so it was gonna get a little hairy."
"You drove everyone."
"An' made sure they got there an' back safe."
"You and Crutchie copped out halfway through."
"It was still-"
"Romeo and Jojo were mooing for a consecutive two hours, you let Smalls have five milkshakes, TGI Friday's wrote us a strongly-worded letter about stealing all the ketchup, and Specs screamed..."
He plugged Les' ears and whispered. "... the 'f' word..."
He unplugged his fingers. "In front of the whole restaurant!"
"Okay! Okay!" Jack surrendered with his hands up. "So that one didn't go too well. But this night is gonna be nothin' but awesome. RIGHT, CRUTCHIE?" He asked as a cue to his friend, who was currently ladling out his own cup of punch.
"Dave bein' all apprehensive again?" He asked. He turned to the trio. "Don't worry, guys. It'll be fine. I'll keep an eye on Les. Whaddya say, Little Fella? You an' me hangin' out tonight?"
"Sure thing!" Les agreed.
Davey spotted something potentially dangerous or tiny-mushy-mind-corrupting in the apartment and dragged Jack over to look at it so the author could write this next part.
Crutchie took a sip of punch and made a small cringe. "This is, ah, an' interestin' punch, Les."
"Oh, we haven't really tried it yet. But Davey let me pick it out all by myself! It at least sounded good. It's supposed to taste 'spikey', whatever that means."
Crutchie raised his eyebrows. "Spikey, you say?"
Les shrugged. "I think the bottles said 'Spiked Pomegranate Punch.' Maybe it's a foreign thing. I dunno."
Crutchie stared at Les for a very long time. Then he stared back into his cup. Then he stared back at Les.
"Foreigners sure have funny names for stuff," he commented.
"I know, right?"
The bell buzzed at the front of the apartment. "I got it!" Crutchie declared. He set down his cup and limped as fast as he could to the door.
He checked through the peephole and twisted open the brass knob. Behind it stood the beautiful, braid-haired Sniper in a lace-sleeved white sundress.
Oh, yeah. And her roommate Smalls, wearing some flannel.
"Evenin', ladies," he greeted with a tip of his beanie.
"Hey, Crutch," Smalls replied as she immediately rushed inside.
Sniper rolled her eyes and smiled at her sister's haste. "Hi, Crutchie," she said. She let him walk her in. "You an' Jack got some wonderful disaster planned?"
"Jack? Plan?" Crutchie laughed shyly as he hobbled back across the living room. "Y'know us too well for this charade."
"He gonna at least stay up til midnight?"
"Gosh, we all will," Crutchie told her. "I mean, I HOPE we all can."
7:42 PM
"She's gotten way too much work done," Katherine commented to no partygoer in particular about no celebrity in particular as she sat in front of the television. A few boys glancing at the screen nodded.
"Oh, c'mon, Ace," she heard Jack groan. She turned and found him standing hunched over the back of the couch on which she was sitting. "Loosen up a bit! It's a party!"
"Sorry," she murmured. "Maybe I'm just...conserving my energy. I don't have lots of experience staying up late."
"Ah, I see," Jack said slyly, leaning into her ear. "Savin' up for that big kiss, huh?"
Katherine smirked. "Watch it, Kelly."
"But really, you should get somethin' to eat or drink... I hear that punch is really somethin'."
"Not that I wouldn't be devastated to pass up on the once-in-a-lifetime delicacies of Publix take-out fried chicken, but I just ate, and I kinda just want to observe," she confided in him. "These strange rituals. These droning interactions. For my AP Psych class, or better yet, Journalism. So I'm taking mental notes."
"Very clever," Jack mused. "I'll be takin' my own set a' notes as well, as the night drags on, to get to my own observational thesis."
"And what would that be?"
"How to make Katherine Plumber actually enjoy herself at a party." Jack began walking away.
"That's actually open-ended, and while it's impliedly rhetorical, it wouldn't really translate as a thesis because it's not a deba-"
"LALALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE HELLA SOUND OF JOJO AND I DOING THE NAY-NAY TO MILEY CYRUS," Jack teased from down the hall.
Katherine shook her head and sighed. "That is literally the most 2014 sentence I have ever heard."
7:52 PM
New iMessage
To: Romeo
This partys draggin. Honestly, it could use a little life. Don't tell none of the other boys, but I brought fireworks. Like the little fancy 4th of July kind. I'm jus gonna wait for that special moment to crack em out. If only I knew when that special moment would be.
-Race
7:55 PM
To: Race
Midnight. Maybe midnight would be cool. Maybe at the exact freakin moment the year changes from 2014 to 2015. I dunno.
-Romeo
8:00 PM
"Eh, the party's okay for now, I guess," Smalls said. She and Specs sat in bean bag chairs in a the sparsely populated game room. "Kelly definitely pulled together somethin'. I'll give him that."
"Well," Specs answered, "as long as I got you, I'm good to stay."
Smalls smiled a coy smile. "Stay 'til midnight?"
"I mean, I really, really want to."
Wait. Did that imply that whole "New Year Kiss" thing everyone was counting down to?
"I mean, if you want to, we can," he revised.
Oh jeez, that just made it worse.
"I-I-I mean, it's funny, it'd actually be my first time doing it..."
Nope. Nope. Wrong words. Wrong words. Abort. Abort.
The television special. That's all he meant. Seeing the celebrations across the time zones...
"I mean, just to watch the big balls drop..."
Oh my GOD.
"Specs..." Smalls cut him off. "Are you okay?"
"Sorry," Specs barely recovered. "Stayin' up late. Yeah. Great. I'll go pump some caffeine." He ungracefully peeled himself out of his beanbag and slipped out the door to grab a punch and avoid saying anything else stupid.
He and Smalls were together now, and since pretty much everyone at this party remembered her most recently as the crazy chick from TGI Friday's who ran around the restaurant with his glasses screaming that revenge is a dish best served cold "JUST LIKE THAT GOD DAMNED MILKSHAKE," he had sort of delayed making it public.
He'd also delayed their first kiss, because it would also be HIS first kiss. So yeah, that was a thing.
But hey, this punch was really good.
8:30 PM
To: Romeo
Hey
-Race
8:32 PM
To: Race
Hey
-Romeo
8:34 PM
To: Romeo
This punch tastes like shit.
-Race
8:35 PM
To: Race
It's booze.
-Romeo
8:37 PM
To: Romeo
I knew that. How did you?
-Race
8:38 PM
To: Race
I got my sources.
-Romeo
8:39
To: Romeo
No tellin Jack Katherine or Davey. Or Snipes. Shes havin a field day at that snack bar.
-Race
8:41
To: Race
Agreed
-Romeo
8:50 PM
Observation Notes
Approx. 1.5 hours in, party-going subjects still appear stable. Times Square performer Beyoncé, however, seems to be trying much too hard this year.
-Katherine
8:57 PM
I have seized Katherine's journal while she is in the bathroom on commercial break to inform the reader that Beyoncé is not 'trying too hard'. She doesn't have to try. She is the Queen. If you attempt to dismiss anything she puts out in the name of art, you'll have to go through me.
-Anonymous?
9:02 PM
Davey, please don't touch my journal.
-Katherine
9:10 PM
I Guess These Are Notes
Subject refuses to respond to my several attempts of playing her jams off of Pandora, including but not limited to Roar by Katy Perry, Spiderwebs by No Doubt, The Macarena, and the theme song of her sacred guilty pleasure, A Thousand Years of the sappy YA piece of literary waste Breaking Dawn. She's a tough cookie to crumble, but if ya give a mouse a glass of milk, he will forget where he's going with this metaphor.
Metaphor! That's it!
Subject evaluation stage 6 will require me to break out the secret weapon - the cinematic soundtrack of the Fault in Our Stars.
-Jack
9:15 PM
Damn you, Walmart advertisement. I don't want delightful discounts, I want my damn music.
-Jack
9:16 PM
No Pandora I don't wanna listen to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer sung as a duet by Idina Menzel and Seth McFarlane. Christmas is over. Santa is dead.
-Jack
9:19 PM
Subject Jojo has popped an explosive party popper deafeningly close to the ear of Subject Elmer. Subject E responds with a heavy pursuit of his offender around the apartment before tackling him onto the carpet and hysterically laughing as they both roll around on the floor. Fascinatingly complex creatures, I must say.
-Katherine
9:30 PM
"Hey, Specs..."
Crutchie hobbled in on Specs and Smalls awkwardly dancing to Christmas carols in the main room.
"Hey, Crutch," Specs replied, dropping his really weird little move-and-groove thing that seemed hella smooth at the time he started doing it but he now felt really self-conscious of. "Thought you was hangin' with the kid."
"Oh, yeah," Crutchie waved dismissively. "He got bored. He's playing Rock Band 3 in the back, wailing random words into a microphone with Davey on the guitar despite his complete absence of knowledge about video gameplay," He told them.
"Okay, so what's up?" Smalls questioned, folding her arms.
Crutchie looked between the two. "Uh, Specs, I was kinda hopin' I'd catch you alone, but I guess if you both keep real quiet about it, that'd be okay too."
"No promises," Smalls grumbled.
He tried to look only at Specs and speak softly. "So... You know Snipes really well, right?"
"I do too!" Smalls chimed in. "I still don't know why she wasn't invited to Friday's."
"Shhhhhhh," Specs chided. "She didn't exist in fanon back then. Shhhhhh."
"So, guys," Crutchie said clearer to turn attention back to him. "Is there any chance that she might, I dunno..." He took a deep breath. "Like me?"
"Of course, Crutchie, she's known ya for years!" Smalls assured him.
"Like, LIKE, like," The boy specified.
"Oh." Smalls shrunk back. "Well crap, I dunno."
"I jus' kinda wanted to ask 'er tonight, while we're over here," he continued. "Thought it'd be kinda sweet. She's here, everyone's all done up and havin' a good time... It's sappy, but I thought that's what makes it good."
"Of course it is," Specs replied. "She has to love that."
"Jus' don't be too jittery, okay?" Smalls advised. "That throws a girl off. Be confident. She either likes you or she doesn't. I can't tell you that, but you can tell HER that."
"Don't be jittery?" Crutchie questioned. "Oh gosh, that's kinda hard."
"Hah. Not really," Specs squeaked with horrible fake confidence.
"Give 'er hell, Crutchie," Smalls encouraged. "But if ya lay one finger on her where it don't belong, you better be ambidextrous, cuz I'll twist it right off."
"I...really wasn't planning on either...I just wanna, like, see a movie with the gal."
"Watchin' you, Morris," she warned playfully as he wandered back off down the hall.
9:42 PM
New iMessage
To: Jack
Hey do you think you happen to have any mistletoe still laying around from Christmas?
-Specs
9:43 PM
To: Specs
I dunno why
-Jack
9:44 PM
To: Jack
What about Pandora can you play something really sweet and romantic? Gone gone gone is one of Crutchie's favorite songs right cuz it's snipers too
-Specs
9:45 PM
To: Specs
Well, considering that all we've heard for the past half hour are trashy pop remixes of holiday carols, I think it's pretty clear I've given up on pandora.
-Jack
9:46 PM
To: Specs
Hey I found jacks mistletoe. Operation CrutchShot is a go.
-Smalls
9:47 PM
To: Jack
Hey so where can i find a ladder and a hammer
-Smalls
9:49 PM
To: Specs, Smalls
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO UP TO
-Jack
9:50 PM
Subject JJ has taken off the first of his three layers of clothing and is flinging salsa onto Subject RT across the main living quarters. Subject ROM has joined in. Thank God the Baum Factors aren't present to hear the soap-worthy word choice erupting out of Race's mouth.
-Katherine
9:52 PM
To: Specs
Crap crap crap Kelly's onto us drop it til midnight maybe he'll forget
-Smalls
10:04 PM
Specs found himself wandering back over to the snack table where his best friend Sniper was sloppily pouring herself a new cup of punch.
"Here, need some help with that?" He quickly offered, eyeing her white dress.
Sniper giggled. "Oh, nah, I think I'm okay," she assured him, dumping the ladle and just barely preserving her clothes from the splatter. "How's the party from your end?"
"...Jus' fine, I guess," Specs replied uneasily. Sniper wasn't being Sniper, somehow.
She giggled again. "Jus' fine, huh? Yeah. Same. Jus' fine, right? Are you gettin' punch?"
"Oh, yeah," Specs answered. He snatched up the ladle. "Sugar, caffeine, whatever's gonna keep me up tonight."
"I know, right?" Sniper agreed, wide-eyed. "I don't like, like, coffee, but this is... I dunno. It's makin' me wake up for real, but it's gettin' rid a' my jitters. 'Member when I used to hate, like, stuff, like... like this?" She clumsily swung out her entire arm to indicate the whole event in general.
"Jitters all gone?" Specs questioned.
Sniper reacted to this as if it was the funniest joke she had heard in her entire life.
"Yeah! Seriously!" She laughed. Then she closed her eyes and stabilized herself. "I'm gonna- I'm gonna go see how the Jacobaum - I mean the Jacobs - I mean..." She smiled the stupidest, silliest smile. "I'm gonna check up on Tight Pants and Little Squirt in the game room."
She paused then, and when she popped her eyes back open, Specs almost had a heart attack. "Okay?" She asked.
"Snipes, you're not okay," he told her. "You need ta sit down, take a breather. I'll go get you a water."
"Nope! I'm good!" She said next with a shushing gesture. "I'm gonna go play Rock Band with the boys." She reached and grabbed Specs' face and planted two kisses on his cheeks before wandering back down the hall.
Specs looked skeptically at his full red Solo cup. "Huh."
10:19 PM
"Hey guys!" Elmer informally announced in the living room to kill the boredom, lifting up his phone. "Head's Up!"
As a cluster of boys hurried to his side of the seating arrangement to play, Race whined, "That game is SO OLD."
"Jus' like your mom!" Romeo called back.
Race slumped back in his seat, paralyzed by stupidity. "What-? Did you jus'-?"
"Ooh! 'Broadway Baby'! I love that category!" Crutchie shouted. He, Jojo, Romeo, and Katherine all clumped in front of Elmer.
Elmer smiled trickily as he held the screen to his forehead. "A'ight, if you say so."
10:20 PM
Title: Anything Goes
Race (grumpily from the couch): Somethin' about a boat? That smokin' Cinderella chick was in it?
Romeo: You're not playin'!
Race: I'm playin' if I sez I'm playin'!
Elmer: Bonnie and Clyde?
Race: Dammit, no, the other thing!
Crutchie: Seriously, guys?! You're all hopeless. Sutton Foster!
Elmer: Anything Goes?
Crutchie: Yes!
*PASS*
Title: Les Miserables
Race: IT'S DOWN YOU IDIOT YOU TILT IT DOWN
Jojo: I think - Oh! Oh! He steals the load of bread!
Elmer: Aladdin.
Romeo: No! No! It's the one in France!
Elmer: Beauty and the Beast?
Race: OH MY GOD.
Crutchie: Pretty blonde falls in love at first sight and everyone else di- I mean falls asleep.
Elmer: Sleeping Beauty?!
Race: IT'S. NOT. DISNEY.
Romeo: Shut up!
Race: You shut up!
Jojo: Pass! Pass!
*PASS*
Title: Newsies
Jojo: I dunno this one.
Romeo: I think they're all gay...?
Crutchie: PASS!
10:29 PM
And with that, Michael Buble has successfully convinced his lover that it is indeed cold outside, Brittany Spears in Times Square has given it her very last shot, and Subject Kat is frantically screaming the lyrics to "Seasons of Love" into a tiny little iPhone.
-Jack
10:31 PM
New iMessage
To: Elmer
Excellent work, my henchman.
-Jack
10:32 PM
To: Jack
It's only a henchman if he's paid.
-Elmer
10:33 PM
To: Elmer
Excuse me who got you that Keurig Salted Caramel Cocoa package for Christmas? That's right. Henchman.
-Jack
10:48 PM
Game Room
Davey: Les, I don't think these lyrics are appropriate anymore... maybe we should join the others outside.
Les: I wannnn yourrr loveeee annn I wann yourrr revennnge -DAVEY YOU'RE IN THE RED- I wannn yourrrrr loveeeeee
Sniper: seRIoUsly yOU GuyS LeAvE tHiS sONg to a ReAl REAL reAL LaDY.
Les: Who might that be?
Sniper: FunNY, kiD, nOw GimmE tHe GoD DaMN mICRoPHOne. I DONT WANNA BE FREEEEENCH.
10:58 PM
"Aw, she's shit at lip synching,"
Jack commented of no single performer in particular to Katherine as they both sat on the couch watching the Time Square program. Katherine nodded, her head against his shoulder.
The speakers faded from "All of the Stars" by Ed Sheeran, and the stream of empowering love ballads was abruptly interrupted by a chorus of happily tinkling bells.
"OHHH, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER NOT CRY!"
Jack picked up one of Specs' empty red Solo cups and chucked it at the computer across the room. It flew off of the table with a deafening crash, the screen blinked, and soon a new sound filled the air.
"Hey there holiday shoppers! Wanna know how to get the best hall-decking deals this Christmas?!"
"Come on, Jack," Katherine sighed. "Let it go."
"Oh, watch, that'll be the next song that plays!" He replied.
"Hey, it's fun enough just being with you for this new year," she told him. "Can't you just relax and enjoy it? Actually being in the moment?"
"Funny," he mumbled. "That's what I've been trying to tell you all night."
"Well, I'm listening now," she replied. She forced a mutual glance and put a hand on his chin.
"So... What? In the blink of the eye this year is gonna be over."
"Over but not gone," she smiled. "It's just another month. Just like all that craziness in July didn't go away when it turned to August."
"So what's the big difference tonight?"
"An excuse for a brand new beginning."
Jack scoffed. "'New beginning.' I mean, that's what any old morning's for, right?"
"Not everyone's in the same Carpe Diem mindset as you, Davey, and Crutchie, you know. Some people are just too occupied in..." She looked away and made a boxing gesture with her hands, trying to find the word. "Just the all general jumbled ... STUFF in life. You know? Distractions, deadlines, dads, one stupid mental hang up after the other."
"That got a mighty bit deep there," he commented.
"Sorry."
"But you're right. Some people jus' need that tangible push."
"I mean, I do."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Katherine exhaled deeply, and Jack nudged for her to let her head gently fall back onto his shoulder. She contently obliged, making an effort to listen to the sights and sounds around her, from the steady drum of his heartbeat to the piano playing softly in the background.
"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen..."
"Also, fuck Pandora," Jack decided.
"Indeed," Katherine agreed.
11:06 PM
New iMessage
To: Specs
Where are you? Operation CrutchShot must be put in motion!
-Smalls
11:07 PM
To: Smalls
no
-Specs
11:08 PM
To: Specs
ButterBraid, then?
-Smalls
11:09 PM
To: Smalls
Lol wgats butt brade stabd for
-Specs
11:10 PM
To: Specs
Omg specs where are you
-Smalls
11:23 PM
Suddenly, a deafening boom shook the entire apartment.
"God Dammit, Romeo!" A voice screamed from the yard outside the apartment complex.
"Me? I found the fuse!"
"It ain't midnight yet!"
Then another explosion came and resulted in several confused shrieks.
"What the hell do you think you're-"
The sound of a car swerving and then crashing, its horn rapidly honking.
"SHIT."
Everyone in the main room looked to Jack and Crutchie on the sofa, who both made a "Pretend they're not here for a sec we'll handle it later" gesture and a hurried shake of the head.
11:30 PM
"There you are."
Crutchie tapped the door to the game room open. Sniper sat in a lone bean bag chair in the corner of the empty chamber.
"I'm stuck." She laughed.
He smiled and hopped inside. "It was all part of our master plot. You's trapped in here for all eternity."
"I can... I can honestly tell you that I wouldn't mind that one little bit," she replied.
Crutchie looked her up and down. She had slipped off her shoes, her dress had stayed somehow completely pristine, and her hair...
"Hey, Sniper, your braid's fallin' out," he informed her, indicating the left side of her head.
"Is it?" She mumbled, feeling it with her entire hand. "Huh. Ha! Whaddya know? It is! It's just a little... Like a little piggy tail now. Yeah."
"Want me ta fix it?" He asked. "It's what I do best."
Sniper slapped the bean bag chair behind her. "Go ahead. Make me pretty again, dammit."
Crutchie tilted back, a bit frightened by this not-Sniper. Sniper smiled innocently. "I'm sorry. Hah. Pletty prease?"
11:41 PM
"But if God put me here on this earth to wear glasses," He sobbed, "Why didn't my mom name me Specs? She didn't know. I-I-I don't even know my own mother! Cuz she don't know me! She never did! 'Ooooh, Russell, I made you your favorite dinner: black beans and carrot sticks!' Who the hell even LIKES carrot sticks?!"
"Specs!" Jack shouted. "Specs, turn down!"
"But FOR WHAT?!" Specs cried out in response, cradling his red Solo cup as if it were a newborn baby. The two boys sat alone on the balcony of the apartment, whilst Race and Romeo continued to bicker over the launching of the fireworks.
"Hey, it's gonna be okay, yeah?" Jack said. "Just cool off for a while. We're gonna be hitting midnight soon. Wanna jus' go home?"
"No," Specs answered a lot more quietly, wiping the tears from his face. He took a deep breath. "No, I gotta stay here. I gotta talk to her."
Jack looked at him in confusion for a beat before nodding. "Oh, right. Her."
"I got it. I don't got any jitters no more, Jacky, I gotta see her."
"Yeah, ya don't got jitters, you got dangerously unbalanced hormones, that's what you got. Specs, I love ya, but look at yourself. Carrots? Crying over carrots? Hell, I love carrots!"
"You should meet my mother," Specs' voice cracked, and he put his head into his hands."You'd be such great friends," he heaved.
"Specs!" Jack slapped his arm, and he flinched.
"Ow..."
"You like this girl."
"Yeah."
"It's the very very end of the year in which you two met."
"Yeah."
"It'll never be 2014 ever again."
"Yeah."
"Race and Romeo are gonna blow up the whole neighborhood."
"Yeah."
"You only live once!" Jack shouted. "That's the whole point! Time is fleeting! Today is today, and today is whatever you wanna make of it! So if you don't wanna do this, that's fine too. But if you're gonna do this, do it now, or regret it when your old an' tired in a retirement home, buzzin' around in an obesity scooter, takin' ten pills every morning and drinking smoothies for every meal instead of food because all your teeth have rotted outta your skull!"
"My dentist said I wouldn't get cavities," Specs' voice wobbled, "if I'd replaced my daily sugary snacks with carrot sticks."
"FUCK THE CARROT STICKS."
"That sounds unsanitary," a voice from below piped up.
"SHUT UP, ROMEO."
11:58 PM
Game Room
"This one looks like it's gonna be a beaut," Crutchie commented as he finished restyling the babbling Sniper's hair into an intricately woven pair of fishtails.
"I think I love you," she slurred.
Crutchie dropped the scrunchie in his hand. "What?"
"In love, love, whatever," she mumbled, giggling at herself. "I love when you braid my hair. I love when you walk me home. I love. I'm in glove. Gloves! Haha, I like gloves, too."
Crutchie became a little less tense, assuming that she was just rambling like she was before. "Yup. Gloves are real neat. They're better than blue fingers."
"I love your beanie," she told him next. "I love how it keeps me warm. I love how it's yours and you let me wear it and it's jus' a part of you an' me an' it makes me feel really fuzzy and happy inside."
Crutchie hastily wrapped up the final braid. "Sniper, are you actually..."
"I mean it all." She scooted around in her vinyl seat and looked at him. "I. Sniper Rose Mason. Am. In. Love. With. You."
Crutchie grinned an unfamiliar, giddy grin. "Snipes, you can't be..."
The door flew open, with Jack and Katherine behind it. "Come on, guys!" He yelled back to the other guests behind him. "To the big TV ta see the ball drop!"
The room soon filled to the brim with teenagers, the last of which to stumble in happened to be Specs.
"Where the hell have ya been?" Smalls ran to the door and demanded him. "Operation ButterShot - CrutchBraids - whatever -"
"Smalls, I need ta talk to you," he said, grabbing her shoulders for effect but also for balance. "I like you."
"I like you too," she replied. "I mean, obviously. That's why we're dating. I mean, I hope so."
"Shut up." He made a strange struggling gesture. "I mean, a lot. An' I was jus' wondering if..."
"If what?"
"Twenty!" Jack called out as the countdown neared the climax.
"Nineteen!" Katherine joined in, grabbing her boyfriend by the waist.
"Eighteen!" Yelled the Baums.
"Seventeen!" Continued Jojo.
Sixteen. Fifteen. Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve. Eleven. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
January 1st, 2015
12:00 AM
"Happy New Year!"
Katherine pulled Jack in for a tender kiss, gently weaving her fingers into his hair.
Specs felt a split-second passion (that he would move on to never know if it was through the intoxication or not) and grabbed her by the jaw for their lips to meet. Smalls was startled at first but quickly reciprocated.
Crutchie looked to the unreadable Sniper. Even while completely smashed, she could have the best poker face in all of Manhattan. He reached out and put a hand to her face, and she responded by pouncing and accidentally knocking him to the floor, where they both laughed and she kissed him as much as she had wanted to kiss him for two years.
He could have sworn he heard Jack yell out something along the lines of "ATTA BOY!"
12:11 AM
Game Room
"But like, when we die?"
"I dunno. It shouldn't be such a big question, seriously. Everyone on this earth'll do it. Everyone gone from this earth already has."
"It's jus'... Nothin'?"
"I'd wanna be turned into an elephant. That'd be pretty sick."
"Maybe that's why animals in zoos are so mad. Cuz they don't wanna be in the glass. They wanna be on the other side with the people. Maybe they don't even know they're animals."
"Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck behind glass, you know? Trapped in the system. No way out. Jus' lookin' around. Everythin's already mapped out."
"I like glass. It's shiny."
"Try havin' it on your face twenty-four seven."
"Why twenty-four hours? That's twice of twelve, which are the months in a year, right? Every day is two years. Every month is six hours. And two days is nine months."
Specs and Sniper laid on the floor of the game room, alone, two best friends and a pint of punch, staring at the ceiling.
"Now I know how Romeo felt at TGI Friday's," Specs said.
"You bitches never invited me."
"I know."
"But it's okay."
Sniper lifted her red Solo cup. "Cheers."
Specs lifted his and clinked it with hers.
They both passed out within minutes.
12:23 AM
Davey: Well, it seems like the party wasn't so bad after all.
Les: Yeah, it was awesome!
Jack: So thrilled it got the Baum stamp of approval.
Katherine: I'm thirsty, I'll be right back.
Elmer: Yeah, thanks for havin' us, Crutchie.
Crutchie: Of course!
Katherine: *Spits out punch* Jackson Francis Kelly!
Jack: What? What is it, mother?
Katherine: This is spiked! There's alcohol in it! Has this been out for the entire party?!
Davey: Wait, I bought SPIKED punch? Les!
Les: I didn't mean to-
Smalls: Hey, Kelly, have you seen Specs?
Jojo: Oh, yeah, he's in the back, sleepin' with Sniper.
Jack, Crutchie, and Davey: WHAT?!
Elmer: No, no, no, not like-
Race (Outside): Shit! We were out cold before midnight!
Romeo (Outside): We still have time! Where's the match?
BOOM
CRASH
POW
Davey: OKAY, WE'RE OUT OF HERE. NOW.
Crutchie: But Dave-
Davey: I'm not coming back for another one of these "get-togethers" ever again, and I mean it!
*Baum brothers leave and Davey slams the door*
Jack: He don't mean it. Elmer, get Specs and Smalls home. Jojo, for the love of God, stop Race and Romeo before the neighbors call the cops.
Smalls: What about Sniper?
Jack: Little Snipes? Ah, man, she's not fun when she's woken up. She can stay here. We'll take her back on the subway in the morning.
12:30 AM
"Crutch, you goin' to bed?"
"In a second," Crutchie called back before entering the dark game room.
The muted television screen barely illuminated Sniper, laying on a bed of bean bag chairs, curled up in a little ball and fast asleep. Crutchie carefully climbed down from his crutches to crouch by her side and lay his old Pikachu throw blanket across her body. She seemed to stir very little at first, wiggling her head the tiniest bit and scrunching up her nose. The boy smiled and began to pick himself back up until he heard her speak.
"Crutchie?"
She didn't even open her eyes. She felt out his hand on the ground. "Crutchie, that's you, right?"
"Yeah," he replied in a whisper.
"Hey... So, about last night... Or, tonight, I mean, last year, or..."
He smiled again. Sober, and still the same old silly Sniper.
"You know, with what I said, and..."
He bent down and kissed her on the cheek, and she immediately went quiet.
"G'night, Snipes," he said, getting back into his crutches. "Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year," she called back before drifting immediately back to sleep.