Year 7

Chapter 50: How Harry Did It

Okay, folks. This is it. The [official] last chapter. Where I'm sure all your burning questions that you didn't know you had are answered. And if not, you can always send me a message or leave a review. I answer them. Occasionally. Kind of.

New chapter by Steve2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything related to it.

{-50-}

Albus Dumbledore knew a lot of things. He knew 2+2 was 4, and that Carson City was the capital of Nevada (not that he knew where Nevada was, but that was beside the point). He was an old man with a lot of wisdom. Some of it hard earned, and some of it freely given. He was either feared (by those dark wizards) or revered by everyone in the Wizarding world. Well, almost everyone.

One student had never looked up to him. And never feared him. In fact, that student had pretty much called him nuts the first time he met him. That student, obviously, was Harry Potter. The same Harry Potter that graduated a year ago, took a summer job while looking for his next adventure, and then decided to move into the castle full time while he worked on his lawsuits against the Ministry of Magic and what he called their "shockingly poor education program he was forced to participate in against his will". Really, they were his words, and not Albus'. After all, Albus had read the court summons himself not less than 5 months ago.

The same Harry Potter that had vanquished a Dark Lord multiple times, killed a Basilisk, subjected the entire dementor populace to endless recordings of Polka music at Azkaban (Harry thought it might reduce the rage the inmates incarcerated there were feeling at the rotten stench – and not just annoy the dementors, which, apparently, actually enjoyed the music), didn't bother to win the Tri-Wizard Tournament yet was still given accolades after it finished (if only by the press, which, Dumbledore knew, was a ploy to sell papers), managed to get his godfather freed (Albus wasn't sure how he did it – or why poor Peter had to die so gruesomely, but he was sure Harry was involved somehow), had been instrumental in locating all the horcrux's and even destroying them before facing the same Dark Lord again and vanquishing him permanently. And he did this all without believing in magic.

That was something that Albus Dumbledore, Supreme titles and all just did not understand. How did young Harry succeed where all others would have failed? All others, Albus knew, himself included in that thought.

=Knock – knock!=

That was odd, Albus thought. How did he not know someone was at the door? He always knew. To statue always let him know. … Unless… "Come in, Miss Lovegood."

The door opened and one Luna Lovegood entered: the same Luna Lovegood that was currently dating the former student, Harry Potter. In fact, it was the same Luna Lovegood that had just graduated Hogwarts earlier that day.

"Hello, Headmaster. May I have a seat?"

"Of course, Miss Lovegood. Lemon Drop?"

"Why certainly, Headmaster," she replied, taking a handful, popping one in her mouth, and putting the rest in a small Ziploc baggie. She looked at the baggie for a moment, saw the Headmaster's stare, and replied, "Oh, sorry." She smiled at the bemused Headmaster and then took the dish of candy, opened the Ziploc baggie and tipped the remaining candy in. "There, that's better," she said as she put the empty dish back on the desk.

"I guess I can always get more," the ancient Headmaster started, still looking at the empty dish.

"That's the spirit!" Luna agreed with a beaming smile.

"Ah, yes, thank you, Miss Lovegood," Dumbledore offered. "I must say, not many students ever come to my office voluntarily."

"This is true. It is probably because of the Headmaster Curse of 1509."

"I must have missed that one in History class. Would you care to elaborate?"

"Certainly, Headmaster. In 1509, Headmaster Schnizzel had several breeds of dogs that he kept around the castle. They would often be seen by the students running around and wanting to be petted, like normal dogs would. However, during certain periods of the year, they would go into what is known as rutting season which is where a male dog would…"

"Yes, thank you, Miss Lovegood, but I know what rutting season is."

"Oh. That certainly takes the wind out of that kite. Anyway, after complaints by many students, staff, and centaurs, the Headmaster had to restrict those dogs to his office during rutting season which is why none of the students ever wanted to come here."

"Ah, I understand. That is a nice bit of history. But where does the curse come in?"

"Elves."

"Pardon?"

"It's an elf curse."

"But why…"

"Headmaster Schnizzel enjoyed playing pranks on the elves, dropping doggie droppings on their heads when they popped into the office to clean up after the dogs each day."

Albus turned and looked to the wall behind his desk. "Jerome, is this true?" he inquired of one smaller portrait.

"Ya, Albus," the portrait replied honestly as it was required to by the wards of the office. "But dose little stinkers had it komink!"

"What… never mind. I don't want to know."

Albus turned back around and put his attention to the young just-graduated student. "Thank you for that bit of history, Miss Lovegood. So how can I help you?"

"Oh, I thought you might enjoy talking about things," she smiled at him.

"Things?"

"Yes."

"Any 'things' in particular? The Battle of Hogwarts has been over for the past year and it has been quieter and happier here as a result."

"Indeed it has, Headmaster. Due mostly to the actions of Harry Potter, Luna's boyfriend."

"You talk about yourself in the third person?"

"You don't?"

"I hadn't thought of doing it, no."

"Pity. It is most enjoyable. You should try it sometime."

"I may have to do that in the time remaining to me."

"Ah, time. Yes, I guess it creeps up on all of us. Harry too, even though he doesn't know it."

"You know something about Harry that he doesn't?"

"Oh, Headmaster, I know everything about Harry. For instance, did you know that Harry subscribes to the Harry Not-Rule rule of magic in which if Harry doesn't know about a magic rule, he can automatically bypass it as if it doesn't exist?"

"What?" Albus quirked an eyebrow at the young lass in front of him.

"Oh yes. I'll give you an example. Rule: The Killing Curse kills people. You and I know that. Luna's Harry did not know this rule when he was hit with the killing curse so he did not die. He did not believe in magic, so was unaffected by anything directed towards him. If he did use magic, it was unintentional and he did not notice it.

"Following that rule: Others believe in magic and it works for them. Others believe in magic and they attempted to use it against Luna's Harry. It either didn't work at all, or it worked very differently than what was expected.

"Continuing along that line, Luna's Harry grew up not believing in magic. Yet, he had to come to a magical school where he had many interesting things happen, none of them magical in nature or so he thinks. Yet magic is out there. And like Mr. Rock, she has her favorites. And Luna's Harry Potter is magic's current favorite. In fact, the spirit of magic likes Harry quite a bit, even though Harry vehemently denies believing in magic. The spirit finds that amusing. Our children will also find it funny."

Albus Dumbledore smiled at the idea of Harry and Miss Lovegood having children. "Harry deserves happiness after all he's been through."

"Oh, Luna's Harry has had happiness for some time now. Not that I'm going to enter a wet t-shirt contest or anything."

"Ah, that's good I guess," the Headmaster began.

"Well, not again that is," Luna remembered a thought.

"Uh, okay?"

"Even if it is only a private show just for him."

Albus needed to move this conversation to something other than… Luna's wet t-shirt. "You know, I always wonder what Harry's patronus would have been had be believed in magic."

"Oh, that is easy, Headmaster. I do think it would have been a child wearing a bed sheet as a ghost costume with a lot of holes in it while carrying a bag with a rock in it."

"Why a rock?"

"Why, to crush the bad Halloween treats with, of course. Ah, I must be running. I had a wonderful time at school, Headmaster. We will have to do this again sometime."

{-50-}

Epilogue

19 years later….

The Hogwarts Express was steaming on the tracks, waiting for the students to get a move on and board the train.

Lots of students were standing on the platform, chatting with families, with other students, and with train staff. The train's engineer looked at his watch, then over to the side where he gave a nod. He then pointed at his watch.

The individual next to the train understood that nod. He'd been getting it for years.

"Right! Everyone, board the bloody train!" yelled one older Harry Potter.

Older students who had seen this last year or years before knew what was coming and got out of his way. They ran to board the train.

One adult approached Harry. "Hullo, Harry."

"Hey, Hermione. Hugo going to Hogwarts?"

"It's time for him. When are you going to send your kids to Hogwarts, Harry?" she inquired as she put Hugo on the train.

"What? Why would I do that? They're sane. They can go to Eaton. Hey, have you seen Ginny lately? I wanted to show her my new cattle prod."

{-50-}

Magic is a funny thing. It does have favorites. It also has those that it finds ways to push to be friends with its favorites. In one of those offshoots, some-where, some-when, and more importantly, some-how, two people watched Harry bum-rush the older and newer students onto the Hogwarts Express. They watched Harry's activities via a magical mirror with audio (which muggles would later call an HDTV on steroids).

"I cannot believe you did that!" the younger of the two, a pretty woman, said of the old man.

"Heh, heh! Never underestimate the power of a professor!"

"What power?! You're a little troll!"

"Ha! Henchgirl, you have much to learn of the 'professor' power."

"You walked up to the Dursley home wearing a white lab coat, rang the doorbell, and basically conned them into letting young 8-year old Harry watch TV as much as he wanted," Henchgirl pointed out.

The old man nodded. "True. Everything you said is true. But it was the 'professor' power that I carry with me that allowed me to do that. Otherwise, if you had done it, they wouldn't have believed you and young Harry would not have had that life."

Henchgirl looked at the Professor critically. "It's the coat, isn't it?"

"Of course not!"

"Yes it is. It's always a white lab coat-wearing individual that can pull off a con like that."

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"What's going on in there?" an ominous, non-descript voice asked carefully as the voice's owner walked into their scrying room. He was tall. You couldn't get a bead on his face. He could be anyone. And he was dressed head to toe in black.

"Nothing, Mr. Black," Henchgirl said quickly.

"Nothing? Then why are those pink slippers hooked up to that mirror?"

The Professor and Henchgirl looked at each other for a moment.

"Um, what slippers?" Henchgirl moved in front of them.

"The slippers you are standing in front of," Mr. Black pointed behind her.

"There are no slippers here. They are not the ones you are looking for…" Henchgirl started.

"Henchgirl…" Mr. Black started.

Then Mr. Black, face obscured, gave her the look.

"My friend," the Professor started. "It's not what it appears to be," and he smiled the 'it's an honest mistake anyone could have made… a few dozen… a few hundred times' smile.

"Uh-huh," Mr. Black folded his arms across his chest. "Spill."

"Well, we were thinking about other realities one day…" the Professor began.

{-50-}

Read and Review, please! Smiles!

Steve2

Did anyone catch the references to any of the cartoons? Or catch the references to all the other shows and comedy acts from any of the earlier chapters? Let me know!

And that is it for Harry's tale, but not necessarily the end of this story. I am thinking of a couple additional chapters on this story – for other characters. Possibly… showing the 7th year Hermione in her Halloween getup, and another showing how Dobby got inspired to help out Harry Potter sir. Any suggestions you all want to throw at me, I would gladly entertain.

As for the ending, I know it was out of left field. So a little explanation.
Mr. Black is the title character in "Make a Wish". He is Harry Potter and the Professor and Henchgirl are from that story. There have been multiple shorts and longer stories with Mr. Black in them. I am planning on tying this and a few more stories together with Mr. Black. The pink bunny slippers are from another story I wrote.

I am now working on 2 other stories I have gotten permission to revise. I will start posting them when I have enough content ready.

One story is a parody of Star Wars meeting a Harry Potter that needs to amuse himself.

The other story is a remake of a Harry Potter meets a Walking Dead world. This is more of a serious story, but I always throw humor in.

Which one sounds interesting to you? Let me know.

And finally, thank you all for reading and reviewing. Especially Slytherin66 who has reviewed every chapter. And GuidingHand for correcting my mistakes.