Dumdidumdi... I have started this one a few days ago and actually I wanted it to be a one-shot, but since the fic turns out to be longer than I planned it to be, I decided to make two chapters out of it. So here we have the first chapter. The second one will follow within the next days.

It's just a little Ambreigns something, nothing spectacular, but maybe you'll have fun reading it nevertheless. So, enjoy :)

The fairytales about Dean not knowing how to use a phone weren't true… well, at least not all of them. He only had issues sometimes in making the poor device understand what he actually wanted and so every once in a while it ended up with Dean staring utterly confused at his phone while muttering something like I think I just deleted the internet. In those moments it seemed that his phone stared right back at him and you could almost see a thought bubble hovering over the small item with a fat dafuq does he want?! written in it.

And he also had an amazing talent in accidently pushing button combinations which caused his phone to do things it sure never had been supposed to do. Ever. It was safe to say that Dean managed to find the Easter Egg that actually shouldn't be there at all in every phone he got in his fingers. And Roman was sure that one day this man would unintentionally push a button combination that might cause a random bomb that was hidden somewhere on this earth to go off and unleash the third world war or something.

It was annoying at times. And it was just as lovable.

The thing with Dean was that, no matter how good you knew this man, you never knew which Dean you got.

There was Dean, this rough guy who never backed down from a fight, with an ego that all too often seemed to be too big to actually fit into the man himself. The guy who punched, kicked, scratched and bit, did all it took to win and even if you knocked him down, he climbed back to his feet before you could actually wipe the sweat from your forehead. Dean the tough, rough bad boy.

And beneath all this there was a soft core hidden, one that made him this adorable little boy he could be at times and when you got a glimpse at that part of him you saw sparkling eyes and an impish smile and although he claimed that he had lost his innocence a long time ago, you could see that some of it was still there. It was in those moments that Roman felt a certain sweet ache in his chest and that he needed to step between Dean and the world around them to make sure this part of his friend would stay unharmed. Forever.

Well, then there was also charming Dean who actually managed to make girls lose their panties just by giving them a smirk and an appreciating eyebrow and clumsy Dean who sometimes managed to put his foot in his mouth and had phone issues. Dean the loveable jerk. There was vulnerable Dean who sought shelter by the ones he trusted. And then there was sexy Dean…

And all those Deans… Roman knew them. Every single one of them and when you got closer to this man, when you got in the range of being one of his closest friends, the impact of all those sides of Dean was… breathtaking. Dean was addictive.

Too addictive…

It was the very reason it happened. That thing that had never been supposed to happen. But it had happened and it left Roman at a loss what to do about it.

… about his feelings for his friend that had become more than deepest friendship…

The attraction he felt was strong. So goddamn, fucking strong that he sometimes could barely look Dean in the eyes because it pulled at him, pulled him in and held him in his orbit... like a helpless satellite, revolving around a planet with a gravity that was much too strong to break out.

There had always been kind of a sexual tension between them, undeniably present. Mostly because they were both alpha males and often enough it broke through, that silly alpha male dominance thing.

He loved Dean, this man was his best friend after all, but this attraction, it was...

... if he only knew what it was. But he had no idea what label to put on it...

The first time he had noticed it was in a completely unspectacular situation. The morning after a show, them sharing a hotel room and Roman had been walking into the bathroom and Dean had just been done showering, opening the door of shower stall and stepping out… and it had been the moment Roman's world stopped turning. Dean, naked… with water drops running down his body. His wet hair… sticking in thick strands to his forehead, his cheeks… framing his face. Steam was flowing out of the shower stall, whirling around Dean's legs, wrapping around his well-toned body like caressing fingers. The light was glistening in the droplets on his body and his eyes were sparkling and there had been a slight blush on his cheeks… A soft smile had danced on Dean's lips and the morning, big man his friend had greeted him with, wrapped in the low, velvety rumble of that sexy voice of his still echoed in his ears… still sent a tingling along his spine.

Ever since he was walking along a very thin line and one false step and Dean would know...

And now he was here, stuck in this situation and he had no idea how they had happened to end up like this now. With him frozen, hovering over Dean… who was lying there stretched out under him.

Well... he did know how he got into this very situation in the first place, just not how they ended up like this. Why it all suddenly shifted and tilted and slipped from a safe and simple spending some time together to... this...

They hadn't seen each other within the past three days and usually they were texting quite often when they didn't get so see each other, but this time the line had been dead. From Dean's side. There hadn't been messages coming back from Dean, not a single word as a reaction to about twenty messages Roman had sent and it had worried Roman because the messages right before there was silence between them had been somehow... curt. The thing was that Dean usually went curt towards him when something was bothering him. Like, really. As in, he had done something that had pissed Dean off or had hurt him, what didn't happen all too often. Luckily. Usually if Dean was pissed or sad, Roman was the first one Dean went to, to get it off his chest and let Roman calm him down.

And so he had been carrying his phone around those three days, waiting for a message that things were okay. He didn't want to push Dean. He waited. And waited. Until he couldn't stand it anymore and started to send messages to his friend again.

Dean? You okay?

Send.

Waiting.

Nothing.

Three fucking days and not a single word from you. Come on, just one word would be enough. I'm fucking worried here, okay?

Send.

Waiting.

Still... nothing.

Okay. Dunno if I did something to piss you off or if you killed your phone again but if you read this and you need something, call me or text me.

He'd been staring at the dark screen of his phone for minutes and he was about to put it aside and go out for a run, as finally a message flashed up.

Actually there is something I need.

Relieved that Dean didn't seem to be angry at him for whatever, he texted back: Sure, what is it?

Company.

For a long moment Roman had been staring at the screen of his phone, swallowing hard. Here he was looking at a single word on the screen of a phone and... how could a single word sound so... forlorn?

As luck will have it, I've put quite a bit of company aside for very special people. How about I'll come over and bring some of it along?

This time the answer was fast.

Sounds good.

So he headed for Dean's place and brought him some company. Much needed company obviously because the Dean he found there seemed to be... Roman couldn't put his finger on what it was, but his friend seemed not to be okay.

They had spent the afternoon with a few rounds on the X-Box, some basketball and talking but it all had only been superficial. For Roman it had been okay though the way it was. He was here and had an eye on Dean and Dean was old enough to decide whether he would spill what was on his mind and when, if he really wanted to talk about it.

Pushing Dean in these things had never worked and so... no pushing.

The casual just hanging out together had neatly ended in Roman staying over night and in watching sports and having some drinks. Some more drinks actually and usually the presence of the other worked like a comforting blanket made out of ease to both of them but tonight it was somehow different. The air between them kind of seemed to hum. Glances were stolen, inquiring, pondering. Careful glances. Dark glances, heavy with something raw. And although Roman noticed Dean looking at him this way, he wasn't sure if he was only imagining things because there was still something bothering Dean and he only misread what showed on his friend's face and in his eyes or maybe it was because of this thingy Roman felt for Dean that kept simmering deep within him unceasingly. Or maybe it was just all of it combined with a tad too much alcohol that peeled carefully built covers away.

And whatever it was that was layed bare... it got stronger.

Roman had done his best to ignore it, just like he was trying to do every single day... although this tactic hadn't been much successful so far. They talked and drank and joked around and drank. And wasn't the nice thing about drinking that after passing a certain point any worries became relative, things became quite funny when they actually weren't that funny at all and the world around became a nice and warm and fuzzy bubble? So it had happened that as Dean grabbed Roman's phone, muttering something about needing to google whatever, Roman had only stared at the other man with a silly grin while Dean was typing with both thumbs, sweeping over the screen and Roman was sure he had never before heard his phone do the kind of peep and blip sounds it was doing that very moment. Actually it had pretty much reminded him of a tiny version of R2D2.

It had been then that Roman's brain had piped up, pointing out that it was his phone Dean was holding in hands. His groaned I swear if you kill it, I'm gonna kill you as he more fell than actually rolled overo to snatch it out of the other man's hand had only caused Dean to jump up from his place without handing the device back to its owner and every time Roman had approached him, he'd somehow managed to escape and bring some distance between them, always grinning, snorting while digging through the on the phone stored things and by the comments he gave he'd found the photos.

Not good...

And Dean just hadn't stopped this silly game of catch me if you can, doing the Dancebrose and this annoying yet in a strange way sexy little pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek and bottom lip thingy... gazing at Roman with impishly sparkling eyes, blue and vivid and somehow the shadow of depression which had been lying on the other man had been gone, leaving only a teasing and goddamn sexy Dean behind. Unruly falling hair... the tip of a tongue, flicking over lips which were stretched to a smirk... the muscles of nicely shaped arms flexing under smooth skin... that low, rough voice wrapping around his name teasingly...

It wasn't really surprising though that it happened... that Dean found that one button combination again that caused a total blackout and this time he had neatly pushed it in Roman, causing a short-curcuit in him and shut down every single bit of good judgement and self-control.

Still... how exactly they had ended up like this now... really, not the faintest idea...

He had Dean's arms pinned to the floor above his head. Dean's mouth was slightly open as he breathed quickly but that smirk was still playing on his lips. And there was warmth, radiating off of the body beneath Roman and warm and Whiskey scented puffs of air were flowing over his face. Dean's shirt was riding up a little, exposing tempting abs and skin that looked so very soft. And Dean's eyes… those eyes were heavily lidded. And deep. They shouldn't be so deep. It just wasn't fair because Roman was drawn in by those depths and he couldn't find a hold to safe himself.

All it would take was to lean down, close the bit of distance between them and taste Dean's lips, claim them and mark him as his… Every single fiber in his body longed to do it. So much it hurt… and weren't Dean's eyes coming closer…?

"Okay, you win," Dean snorted and it was what stopped Roman from leaning down further.

"What?" Roman breathed confused.

Fuck, he had almost… kissed Dean…

"I said you win," Dean repeated, wiggling the fingers of his right hand that still held Roman's phone. "Take your phone and get off, you're heavy, ya know?"

The smell of alcohol in Dean's breath, combined with his aftershave was intoxicating, making him stay where he was, unmoving when it would have been the right thing to bring some distance between them.

Get up, a voice somewhere from the depths of the fog in his head warned.

You fucking stay where you are, his body demanded.

He should move. He couldn't. He fucking could not because finally he was right where he wanted to be...

... where he needed to be...

His hand brushed up, covering Dean's hand which held his phone... his fingers slipping between the other man's and there were sparks. He felt goddamn sparks where their fingers touched and suddenly he was hyperaware of the hard yet soft body beneath him, of every inch of contact.

His fingers curled, trapping Dean's hand in his.

Mine. Mine...

"It's not working," Roman whispered as he realised that he couldn't go on like he'd done the whole time, that with coming here, with letting this happen... that he'd stepped onto a path with no way back...

"Then try a hard… thingy… uhm, reset, right? Yeah, hard reset."

His eyes swept back to bright blue orbs and Roman just gazed at his friend for a long moment. He felt his heart speed up as the twinkle in those eyes seemed to touch it, felt his chest tighten. Breathing was suddenly hard.

"Huh, a hard reset, yeah," he forced out. "A fucking hard reset. If it only was that easy. But it isn't," he added a bit shakily.

He heard that Dean spoke to him but he didn't really hear the words. His gaze briefly swept back to their joined hands, his brows furrowing in sadness. There was an odd silence for a moment and if Dean hadn't noticed anything before, he sure did now and Roman could see it on the other man's face, see a subtle change the expression in his eyes. The air between them suddenly became thick as the mood in it changed, shifting and slipping into a dangerous direction... leaving him skating on thin ice.

"Rome..." An odd note was lacing into the single word, causing Roman to stiffen involuntary. "I've seen... it..."

Low, hesitant. And although Roman wasn't sure what Dean was referring to, those words settled down in his guts freezing cold.

"You've seen what?" Roman asked then carefully, his voice unfamiliar light to his own ears and from the corner of his eye he saw Dean lift his hand which was holding the phone a little.

It dawned on him what Dean had seen and it made the hair on his neck raise.

"The pic," the other man replied, still lowly, still hesitant. A tad wary even. "Why do you have a pic of me sleeping on your phone?"

Shit.

He had taken that picture of Dean a while ago and if it wouldn't have been digital, that very picture would probably have been badly scuffed by now because he was gazing at it at least once a day, for minutes. There were days when he barely could put his phone aside... when he couldn't stop gazing at that picture of Dean... sleeping. Lying in his bed with only boxers and the duvet entangled with his legs, one hand stuffed under his pillow while the other was resting on this tempting belly and... Dean was looking like an angel on that picture, free of all worries.

Fuck.

Finally getting a grip on himself and he wrenched his eyes away somehow, releasing the trapped hands as he climbed to his feet and moved away from Dean, his gaze fixed on the floor. He didn't want to see the look on Dean's face. It was enough to feel the other man's eyes pierce into him. From the corner of his eye he saw Dean get up, too, and he was just standing there, his fingers still tightly wrapped around the phone while his other hand was clenched to a fist. Roman's heart hammered in his chest. In fear. Because he couldn't just walk out of here now, couldn't wake up from a bad dream and tell himself things were still alright.

"Roman, look at me," Dean muttered but Roman did not obey.

His head told him to get out of here somehow while his body demanded to feel Dean again and...

"Roman!"

"I want you, okay?!" Roman shouted, the words passing his lips too fast for his brain to stop his tongue from forming them and the second they were out, his heart plummeted to his belly.

Fuck, flashed through his mind. Fucking shit...

And Dean...? Dean straightened up ever so slightly, his features becoming oddly smooth in realization and the blue eyes widened the tiniest bit... just enough to unleash a surge of so many different emotions towards Roman that he couldn't read them. Roman couldn't read what was written there and it made his heart stumble and sent a chill down his spine.

"I... I'm..." he began but whatever he wanted to say, it died in his throat.

Apologize? Like, I'm sorry that you're too damn hot for your own good? Like, I'm sorry that somewhere along the line you crept too deep under my skin? Fucking like, sorry that with all those ugly and beautiful sides you have you're too perfect as not to... to...

... to be wanted...?

The silence between them was thick, so very thick and it grew until it seemed to block the world around them out. Roman didn't move, couldn't actually because Dean's stare nailed him to the very spot he was standing in, waiting for a reaction.

After an agonizingly long moment Dean blinked once, shaking his head barely noticeably as if he'd just woken up from a trance and his gaze dropped to the phone in his hand. He was breathing fast, his shoulders stiff and somewhat hunched. The silence stayed and became unbearably thick as Roman still could only look at the other man, watched as Dean lifted his other hand to press its heel against his temple and screwed his eyes shut briefly as if he was fighting a battle with himself... before he gazed back up.

Something... flashed up in those eyes... and it was the only warning Roman got.

Tossing the phone aside, Dean shot forward, passing the short distance between them too quickly for Roman to process what was just happening. For a second he was almost sure that Dean was about to hit him right in the face and he wanted to lift his hands to block the punch... that never came. Hands on his shoulders, shoving him back against the wall with enough force to knock the breath out of him and those hands kept him pinned there while fingers dug painfully into the thick muscles.

In a world where they wouldn't have been drunk and feelings wouldn't have been so hard to understand, to read and to admit it would have been easier to do the right thing. In that world they might have talked about it or tried to find their way through this now carefully and gentle. But even if that world existed and tried to seep into this moment now, it sure was bouncing off of the hard shell of reality that had built around them.

With a throaty, growl like sound Dean smashed their lips together... and the world... stilled...

- tbc -

Do you have a few words for me?