I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know

~ Keane ~

Chapter 23 – Somewhere Only We Know

After dinner, it was somehow decided that they would sit over by the couch in the living room, and just as Spike was about to confess all that had happened, a song started playing and it was coming from Buffy's handbag.

"Oh, sorry, just give me a minute."

She went over to the kitchen counter where she'd left her handbag and dug the phone out.

"You can answer that if you want," Spike said, "I'm not going anywhere."

Buffy checked the caller ID before rejecting the call, "It's just Will calling. Probably wants to know if I'll join them for that movie later."

"Pet, if you have other plans..."

She cut him off as she made her way back to the couch, taking her place beside him, "Watching a movie with the gang is the last thing I want to do now. Unless it's mom or Dawn calling me with an emergency, I'm not leaving till we sort this out."

Her actions both heartened and unnerved him. Everything she said only proved that she still cared about him and their relationship. And it was probably more than she was willing to admit, even to herself. While it made him love her more, he'd also never felt more undeserving of her.

He wanted to tell her that she was too good for him. He wanted to say that he loved her with all of his worthless heart. He wanted to tell her that he would do just about anything to undo the hurt he'd caused her.

But weakness and fear got the better of him and the words never came. She wasn't here to listen to his declaration of love or pleading for her forgiveness. She was here for the truth of the matter, the honest facts.

Lost in thought, he snapped out of it when he found her hazel green eyes boring into his blue ones.

He shook his head and chuckled nervously, "Sorry, I didn't mean to space out, might be the meds."

She frowned and placed the back of her hand on his forehead, "Well, your temperature has gone down and you do look at lot better than an hour ago but you're still not out of the woods yet, so I think we can safely say that some occasional spacing is to be expected."

He chuckled humorlessly, "I haven't felt this pathetic in a long time."

Buffy gave his hand a small squeeze, "I promise, it will get better, Spike."

He returned her gesture with a weak squeeze of his own. He knew that it was very likely that this feeling of self-pity wasn't just because of his being ill. He was sick with fear with what he was about to do. They were at the pivotal point of no return and with his heart pounding like a sledgehammer, he said, "Thanks Buffy. Anyway, I guess this is the moment for me to come clean."

Despite the fear of having her hate him once she learned of what really happened, he knew that telling her all was the right thing to do.

He took a deep, shaky breath and told her everything. From the very first moment he was approached by Xander, right up to that night when Cordy gave him the guitar. He watched the range of expressions go through her. From surprise to anger, to fear and frustration, all those emotions going back and forth, he could see them clearly in her eyes, and yet she managed to remain silent throughout his whole account. Spike wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, but the hollow and sinking feeling that he was slowly but surely losing her forever grew greater with each passing word uttered.

When he ended his explanation, he looked fearlessly into her eyes and said, "And that's the whole truth, Buffy. Like I said before, I never wanted to hurt you and there's no excuses for what I've done, so I'm sorry for all the damage I've caused. But let me be clear that whatever I felt for you then, that was all real. And while I still feel the same for you, I'd understand if you never want to see me again."

The tension in the room could've been cut by a knife and the next few seconds felt like an eternity for Spike. He watched her get up from the sofa and pace around the room for a while, processing all this new information he'd just revealed.

And now that it was all out in the open, he wasn't quite sure what to do or say anymore. He wasn't sure how long it took but eventually she ended back on her side of the couch. He watched her take a deep breath before turning back to face him.

The look she had told him she had a million things she wanted to convey and Spike braced himself for the worst.

Before she spoke, he quickly added, "Buffy, before you do or say anything, just please, don't punch me in the nose."

It was not his intention to put a smile on her face, but that imploration broke her solemn expression for a moment.

"I'm not going to punch you, William, but I do have to say that what you did was extremely idiotic."

"Got no arguments here, luv, if I was wiser, I wouldn't be in this mess now."

"Also, I plan to murder Xander very, very slowly the next time I see him."

Spike chuckled, "To be fair, the kid was desperate."

Buffy glared at him.

"Okay, before you proceed to give me a broken nose, hold that punch for a bleedin' instant."

He disappeared to his bedroom and when he returned, he handed her an envelope.

She took it but looked at him curiously.

"Right, don't just stare at me, you silly bint. Go on and open it."

She ripped it open and the contents slid onto her lap. Her eyes widened as she realized what it was.

"Spike, what the hell is this?"

She grasped the gift with slightly shaky hands. It was a pair of return tickets to Venice, Italy.

He cleared his throat and spoke softly, "I, uh…have another confession to make."

She looked back up at him with narrowed eyes.

"What did you do?"

"You see, your Prof at your, uh, Shakespeare course is actually my uncle."

Buffy's jaw dropped in shock, "Wait…Professor Giles? Professor Super-stuffy-and-proper-Englishman Giles?"

Nodding, he explained further, "I dropped by his office the other day and I, sort of, had a chat with him about some of the students taking his class this year."

"Ugh. Don't tell me I failed the class."

"Actually Uncle Rupes was giving me glowing reviews about this one little blondie. He was admittedly surprised because although she was initially just bordering on average at the start of the class, she was now one of his star pupils."

Buffy couldn't help but give a small grin at this news.

Spike returned her smile with a cautious one, "So, oddly enough, therein laid my uncle's dilemma."

"Oh no," she mumbled.

"Yeah, he didn't know how to tell her that because of the reduced number of slots this year, the other university couldn't take in as many students as they did last year, so…"

"So I didn't make the cut?"

He gave the smallest of nods before continuing, "My uncle and I seldom see eye to eye on anything, but we both had to agree this time. That this particular girl deserved, at least, one chance to visit where The Merchant of Venice and Othello took place. It's part of the reason why I decided to stay the course with that stupid agreement. You know, actually put that guitar to good use."

"But I…I can't accept this."

"Luv, I can't return it and I was planning on giving this to you before things between us turned into a bloody disaster anyway. Since it's a pair of 'em, you can always bring the Niblet or your mom along."

Once again, a silence fell between them, as she stared at the tickets in her hands.

Conflicting thoughts and emotions ran through her and her vision started to blur. All the words she had planned to say seemed to have vanished when he handed her that gift. To know that even when he was doing something wrong, the intention was fundamentally still meant for her.

"Seriously, Spike, you are such a freakin' idiot. I don't even know what to say anymore."

Being unsure of the appropriate response to such a reaction, he simply replied, "Hey now, no need to repeat the statement. I'm quite positive we already established this issue earlier in our conversation."

Looking back up at Spike, Buffy laughed through her tears and leaned forward to kiss him. While it started off soft and chaste, it quickly escalated into a deeper kiss. It was a representation and expression of all the love she had for him, despite all the wrong that had occurred between them.

The action had taken him by surprise at first, but he reciprocated her kiss in equal measure, eagerly taking it all in like a man experiencing euphoria for the first time in a long while. He thought to himself that he would've frozen this moment in time if he could.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" Spike whispered, when their lips finally parted.

"Yes, but the road to forgiveness is just starting here, buddy." She grinned through the last of her tears.

"I will do whatever it takes to earn it all back, Buffy. All you've got to do is tell me."

"Are you saying that my every wish is your command?"

"I'm saying I live to serve you, pet."

The statement put a twinkle in her eye and mischievous grin on her face.

He couldn't help but smirk at that expression she had. It was a familiar look that he missed a lot and he knew it well enough to ask her, "So you want the bedroom or the living room?"

"Both. Couch now, bed later," she instructed, aggressively pushing him flat on his back, "And that's an order."

"Hell yes, Ma'am," he growled, as he pulled her towards him for another hungry kiss.

Chapter summary:

This is the end! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I'm not sure if I want to write a sequel to this, but I think I've ended this story on the best note possible, keeping it true to the original characters and the story of Taming of the Shew itself. I look forward to any final comments, and once again, I thank you for reading this little tale. :)