Disclaimer: To Be Human is a fanfiction written in the Compilation of FFVII, with respect to the original canon and in accordance with the permissions of Fair Use as a transformative work. No profit is being made and the author only claims original characters used within to help flesh out the story.

AN: Subscribe to keep track of weekly updates and comment to let me know what you think; it always fuels my motivation, and if there are questions I will do my best to answer any that don't require spoilers. Also feel free to track me down on my personal Tumblr, WordMage.

Shoutout to LadyNightRunner as my hard working beta and primary sounding board.

"You came."

Angeal straightened, turning quickly even though he would have known that voice anywhere. "Genesis…"

His childhood friend was staring at him with wild, over bright blue eyes. They gleamed feverishly, and considering the faint flush to his skin, Angeal thought maybe he was. He was definitely unwell, looking at him from just a pace away, something almost fragile about him as he wet his lips with a quick swipe of his tongue and stared like Angeal was the one who'd up and vanished.

"You came," he repeated it again, softer, and closed his eyes with a gentle smile. "I knew you would. You've always… every time I've needed you, you have been there, Angeal. You've always found your way to me, when I needed you most."

"You need to stop the whole part about being too stubborn to call me." Angeal blurted, feeling distinctly off balance by his breathless tone. Still, he put his sword away and walked towards him. "What is it? You just left, without a word. I can tell something's wrong, Genesis. Tell me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

"I'm dying." The words were rushed, the way Genesis tended to when he knew he had to say something he didn't want to. "Hollander calls it degradation. There were things… things done, before I was ever born. My strength, my magic… reasons why they outclass the others. I was the first well before I was a First, and it's going to be the death of me unless he can find a cure. But he doesn't have the funds; ShinRa would sooner kill us both than be exposed for what they've done. The rot runs deep, their rot is killing me, my body…."

"Gen." Angeal put a hand on his shoulder, breath catching at the feverish heat he could feel even through his coat. Actually dying or not, his friend was definitely ill. "Slow down. You're going too fast."

"I don't have time to slow down, Angeal, did you not hear me? I am dying, and even before my last breath I will be long gone if we don't find a cure." He snapped, trembling beneath his touch. "I'm dying, Angeal, and I will not even have the death of a hero, but a monster."

"You're not a monster, Gen -"

"I am!"

"- you're hurting and sick and need to come home," he continued on, ignoring his interruption. Genesis was fevered and distraught, it was clear he wasn't thinking straight. They could make a case for that. "Come home. You're still listed as missing in action, we can take you home, work something out…"

"Have the monster return to the den to lick its wounds?" Genesis laughed, the sound harsh and more than a little hysterical as he pulled away, rolling his shoulders uncomfortably. "No. No, I am well past the point of no return, my dearest friend. I know what they've done, but I don't know enough yet. I don't know how to cure it, but Hollander… he's helping. He's keeping me alive, the only reason I still live, bless and curse the man. He owes me that much for what he's done."

"Then Hollander can come too, and we'll find a way to work with ShinRa - they have the best facilities and equipment on the Planet, Gen, if you're dying then they are your only hope." Angeal reasoned, watching emotions play over his face with growing unease. "Come home, Genesis. We'll make it work. There's never been anything the three of us couldn't defeat together."

The redhead was suddenly so still Angeal thought someone had cast Stop on him. But no, he could hear a low, feral growl rumble through his friend, watched a ring of green edge his irises as mako surged violently with emotion. "Sephiroth. ShinRa's pet general doesn't know how to disobey - they'd order my death and he'd put his sword to my throat, apologizing perhaps if he felt pity!"

Angeal flinched a little. "That's not true, Genesis, he's our friend-"

"He's your friend, as much as he understands the concept." Genesis spat. "I am nothing in his eyes but a stone to whet his blade on. He's never taken me seriously, why would he try to understand my pain now? Why would he believe my word over the company, over all he's ever known?"

"You're not giving him enough credit-"

"Well that fits since he's the only one who ever gets any credit, whether he deserves it or not!" He snarled. "I may be a monster but I'm not going to go ask the perfect monster for help he won't give. Mercy is a concept he only knows academically, and I'm not going to beg. Goddess, let me have what scraps of pride I can still claim!"

"Alright, alright, just calm down." Angeal soothed, watching him nervously. "You don't have to talk to Sephiroth. He's not with me, anyway, just Zack and Lazard. We'll finish up here, catch the ride back-"

"You're not listening!" Genesis snarled, voice rising sharply. "I can't go back, Angeal. I can never go back."

"You said that this is something ShinRa did to you," he pointed out quietly, wary of his friend's temper. "That means they'd have things on file. They have the resources. They're your best chance, Gen."

"They will kill me." He rolled his shoulders again, hissing. "Finish what they've started. Why would they even try to salvage their failure? They have you, they have Sephiroth - I am expendable, Angeal, and have become a liability. A loose end they need to snip off to keep things tidy. And by the goddess, I will not walk to my death. They've taken too much from me already."

"I won't let them kill you," Angeal insisted, reaching out again and catching his arm. "Don't walk away from me, Genesis, please. I'm on your side. I've always been on your side."

"You cannot be on my side and still trust them." Genesis argued, pulling away again. When Angeal moved faster, a hand on each shoulder, he jerked back with more force and a sharp sound of pain. "Don't. Goddess, Angeal, don't."

It only took a moment to put together the cause of his pain. "It hasn't healed yet? Genesis, it's been months."

"I'm dying." He repeated, voice catching as if he wanted to cry, but he wouldn't let himself. A trembling hand pressed hard over the old injury, clutching at it through waves of pain that left him pale but for the flush of fever. "My healing is spotty at best. My strength and magic take more out of me than they have in years. Hollander is giving me regular mako boosters, so I've only been ill the once so far, but… my body is at war with itself, Angeal, my very genetic code is unraveling as my cells destroy each other. There's so much we never knew, never thought to question… do you really think we were just that special? The three of us, gods among men - or so they tried. But we're not gods. We're not heroes. We're monsters, Angeal. And the fate of a monster is to die a horrible death."

"You're not a monster, and you're not going to die." Angeal insisted.

"Such is my nature, whether you approve or not." Genesis sighed. "I should have been a hero, Angeal, this was not what I wanted. But it's what I am."

"Don't talk like that."

"Not liking the truth does not change it; the truth does not need someone to believe in it, it merely is." His hand spasmed around his shoulder, lines of pain clear around his eyes as he hissed. After a long moment, it seemed to pass and Genesis looked to him again, utterly exhausted. "I need another shot, it's getting worse."

"The helicopter isn't far," Angeal agreed, offering him a supporting embrace and smiling sadly as he leaned into it. How long had it been since Genesis had let himself be held? "Come on."

"I can't go back to ShinRa, Angeal." Despite his feverish heat, Genesis shivered abruptly, pressing closer. "I can't. They'll kill me. Come back with me, Hollander can explain everything. I'll show you what I've gathered together. I need you to trust me."

"I trust you, but not with your own health." And oh, they'd had that discussion far too many times. "Hollander can come too. We'll make it work."

"Oh you poor, optimistic fool." Genesis sighed heavily. "I didn't want you to find out this way, but you have to understand…."

"Gen?" Angeal let him pull away, but was ready to snatch him back in an instant. He watched him roll his injured shoulder again, wondering at the continued gesture, then saw him raise his left hand to his face. He held his breath, sensing a sudden gravity to the moment, and waited.

The dramatic gesture of throwing his arm out to the side was completely overshadowed by the rustle of feathers, a massive black wing seeming to appear out of nowhere. Glossy feathers floated in the air as the appendage flexed out, seeming larger than life for the sheer shock of its existence. When Genesis spoke again, his voice was soft and sad. "Do you see now? Do you begin to understand?"

"I…" Something spasmed in Angeal's back, a sharp pain like a rib slipped out of place, and he hit the dirt on his hands and knees with a choked sound. Dimly, he heard Genesis saying his name but he couldn't focus until the pain dulled to a dull ache along the right side of his spine. "Ngh… what…?"

"Oh Angeal," Genesis knelt before him, gently stroking a hand over his cheek. "Angeal, I was the first. The first of three. There's so much you need to know, my friend, of how they betrayed us from the very beginning, and I will tell you everything."

Angeal leaned into the touch, feeling dizzy and sore. "What… what's happening?"

"I was not the only one betrayed, my dearest friend." His voice lost its harsh franticness as he continued to stroke his cheek and hair. "Come, we'll be monsters together."

It wouldn't take long to realize that Genesis was losing more than his physical health, and Angeal would come to dread the days when fever burned through him for the madness that always came creeping along in its wake. He understood by then that he couldn't leave his friend to this, but he kept trying to be the voice of reason.

Hollander told him things slowly, wary of his reactions to the ugly truths, but apparently less so than his concerns for what Genesis would do to him if he didn't. The redhead breezed in and out like an oncoming storm, increasingly unstable.

Sometimes it seemed the only times his sanity was certain was when it was just the two of them, Angeal reminding him of all the good things that had happened in their lives, all the joy and reasons to fight on. Reasons he wasn't a monster.

And then Angeal had wings of his own, and began to really understand how Genesis had come to speak of himself, and of the ones they'd always trusted. He saw the reports, but never got beyond seeing his mother's name beside Hollander's. By the time he reached Banora, Genesis had killed or kidnapped most of the inhabitants in a mindless rage… but his mother was untouched. Even in the depths of rage and madness, Genesis wouldn't raise a hand to the woman who had been his mother in all but name, and Angeal never could have.

He was furious with her, could barely discuss what had happened before he had to get away from her sad eyes and guilty voice. Seeing Zack was a shock he wasn't ready for, but he certainly wasn't going to let him go up against Genesis, not when his friend was just barely back to coherency. Ever an actor, if you didn't truly know Genesis, you might not realize how badly off he was; Zack clearly thought he was capable of much more reasoning than he could actually manage, able to be persuaded to see things in some other way.

But there was no reasoning with Genesis, not now. He was too far gone into his delusions, just enough truth to them to stick when he was stable - or as stable as he got these days. He appeared sane, if obsessed, and there was just no time to explain to Zack. Feeling guilty for having left him with no clues, Angeal went back to leave a message with his mother, sure that ShinRa would want a word with her.

Angry as he was, he wasn't prepared for her to be dead. Suicide… he leaned against the wall, trying to come to terms with the fact that she'd killed herself in shame. When Zack came, he didn't have time to say anything - the teen was on him with accusations that cut to the bone, hurting far more than the blow he let him land. Did he really think Angeal would have killed his own mother?

Such is the fate of a monster.

Maybe Genesis had a point, there was no going back now. He couldn't live on that side anymore, with people who suspected and laid blame without ever hearing his side. No matter how much it hurt to turn his back, he did, and walked away. He'd find Genesis later, the redhead would be sure of it; even in the depths of insanity, Genesis always came back to him.

We'll be monsters together.