Paradise.

Oh, how he wished he knew what paradise was. He feared he might never know.

Even now, as he lay beside the love of his life, the woman he had searched endlessly for, a heavy burden weighed on his heart. She was sleeping soundly, unaware that since they'd arrived in this perfect world three days ago, her husband still had not slept.

"Blumiere…? Blumiere!"

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright? You seem distant."

Perhaps he was. Far too many thoughts clouded his mind.

"Smile, my darling!" When he did not answer, she gestured to the grassy plains around them. "We're in paradise together! It's… It's just like when we first met… remember, Blumiere?"

Knowing his behavior had caused her to become distraught, he put a hand on her shoulder and smiled as genuinely as he could muster. "Of course I remember, Timpani."

And so he did.

He remembered first being in love. Theirs was a love that was beautiful and passionate, but it was also thrilling, knowing that at any moment they might be caught. He never imagined something so simple as being 'caught' could ruin his life. And Timpani's.

But now, he didn't feel the same carefree happiness of running through the tall grasses or chasing after butterflies. Instead he was overwhelmed with guilt and doubt; memories of his infamous past; his lingering chaotic state of mind.

He still loved Timpani, even more so now than ever. He knew that she loved him just as much, but… he felt as though he didn't deserve it.

In the dimensions they'd left behind, so many families were mourning for the loved ones that had been lost during the end of the worlds. Even after the worlds and their inhabitants had returned, a large number of souls had been found to be missing. Indeed, those who had perished in the tremors and earthquakes before the void consumed the worlds hadn't been resurrected.

And yet he, the one who had caused it all, he, who was to blame for the deaths and mangled families, he was living in paradise. Why should he get a happy ending when so many others were left to pick up the pieces he had broken?

"Blumiere…?"

"...Hmm?"

"What's wrong, my darling? I know there's something troubling you…"

She sat up in bed next to him. The sheets fell off of the upper half of her body; her beautiful figure a faint silhouette in the dark room. Admiration and guilt battled in his mind. He didn't deserve such beauty, or such kindness. Knowing that he would never give her up fuelled his guilt, making him angry with himself.

"Blumiere… I'm beginning to worry… I know you haven't slept since we've arrived…"

Ah. So she did know. And she must have noticed his distant state of mind, as well as his frequent sighs and lack of energy…

"Blumiere…?"

He detected panic in her tone, a result of his perpetual silence. "I cannot sleep, Timpani."

She put a hand on his forehead, gently rubbing his temple with her thumb. "I know you can't… But I don't understand why…"

Because every time he closed his eyes he saw their faces. Heard their screams. He may not have known each of them by name, but the ones who cried out to him, begged him to save them… he knew their voices; had memorized their faces.

She sighed shakily and whispered, "I'm afraid, Blumiere. I don't want you to be like this…"

He looked up at her, unable to see the fear in her eyes, yet he could hear it clearly in her voice. "Timpani, I…" Finding that he was speaking simply for the sake of letting her hear his voice, Blumiere came to a stop. He was at a loss for words, unsure of what he could possibly say. Would she worry more if she knew what was troubling him, or if she was merely left to guess?

"You what?" Her voice was thick, as if she was trying not to cry.

"I… I'll see if I can get some rest now, alright?" If not for his sake, then certainly for hers.

Instead of replying, Timpani shifted so she was on top of the sheets. She pulled the blankets up to her husband's shoulders and began to smooth his hair down, as if to coax him to sleep.

She's not going to sleep until she's sure that I'm not awake anymore, he realized. And so he closed his eyes, doing his best to clear his mind.

Worse than an over-active mind is one left to wander on it's own…

"Timpani, why? Why do you avoid me?"

"Ow… OW! Unhand me!"

"Huh? You're crying! Why? Timpani, you must tell me what has happened!"

The look of anguish on her face suddenly morphed into a mask of anger. "You know full well what has happened, Blumiere. You were the cause of all this, after all!"

"Wh-what? Timpani, what is this about?"

"I can't love a murderer, Blumiere."

"Timpani…"

"And I can't love you."

Her words hit with so much force that he collapsed on the ground, his heart fading in and out of existence as he was submerged in grief.

"Aha ha ha! My dearest Count, tell me: why are you so distraught? Do you think she ever loved you in the first place?"

"Dimentio." Of all the people to show up here… it had to be him. "You don't know… what you're talking about…"

"I don't know? Aha ha! Are you even listening to yourself? You, a member of that wretched tribe, and her, a human? Are you truly foolish enough to think she would ever love someone like you?"

Blumiere glared at the jester, who was suspended in the air above him. Words could not escape his mouth, and he was unable to move as Dimentio got closer.

"Tell me, Blumiere… Do you think Timpani could love… a murderer?"

A murderer…

"Please, sir, help! Help us!"

"Our children… They're dying, sir, please, you have to help us!"

This couple came to visit his thoughts often. He knew what came next.

"No! No, please, sir, don't! You… you have to help us, please, please, sir!" They were too weakened to escape from the danger. He watched as the building next to them crumbled and fell on top of them, knocked loose by his own dark magic.

"Please…"

"Help me!"

"My… my wife, please, save her!"

"Blumiere… What have you done?"

"Timpani… Timpani!"

"I'm right here, Blumiere."

He sat up in bed, swung his legs over the edge, and stood up. "Timpani… I…"

"Oh… Blumiere… You really can't sleep, can you?"

In the dim morning light, she could see the tortured expression on his face.

After all, with this perfect world to remind him every moment of what he didn't deserve… how could he ever rest?