Author's note: Hello, Red Banders! This is my first attempt with a RBS fic and I really hope you guys like it!

English is not my first language, so I ask for your patience.

This fic will have 9 chapters. I kind of have an idea of what's going to happen until the middle and I'll go with the flow. I don't know what will be end game - I have no idea what will happen in the last 3 episodes of the first season -, but I can tell you that you will have lots of Jordi x Emma friendship and I'll try to set a tone to Leo x Kara, but nothing is decided yet. Please, don't pressure me. Whatever happens, it'll be what my gut tells me.

Finally, I've got to say that Red Band Society is not mine and I just try to do some fan work.

I hope you like it! :D

Nine Lives
A Red Band Society fanfiction

(or: how did this become an episode of Skins?)

1. Emma

If there was one thing Emma Chota knew about life with a disease, is that it was tricky. That was the last thought in her mind before she passed out in her own bathroom.

…

When Emma woke up – this time for real, with no medication knocking her down -, it wasn't her father or mother or sister who was in the room with her. It was Dash. She had no idea what time it was and was too exhausted to look over the window to check it out, but to see a familiar face instead of a doctor's was really nice.

"Hi Dash." She mumbled and only them she noticed how small her voice was. The boy smiled to her, his wise eyes taking notes of her situation. She didn't want to look at herself, though, not yet. "How do I look?"

"You want my honest opinion, or my friend opinion?"

She almost mirrored his smile, but it'd take too much energy.

"I can take honest." The girl tried to mock, but Dash's expression went serious again.

"Are you sure?"

Something about the tone he used made her very self-aware and her brain immediately shut out. She was there for what? Twelve hours? And Dash already felt in a place to judge her? For a start, why was Dash there in the first place? Where was everybody else? Where was… no. She had to stop herself right there. That would be a point to get later.

Turning her face to the other side, Emma mumbled again, but her voice was a tad bit stronger this time.

"No."

…

When Dash visited her, she was at the hospital for half the time she first thought she was and dawn had hardly cracked. But by noon she already had overdosed on her parents presence and worry and more than half of the patients she used to talk to came to visit her. She wasn't speaking much, but everyone had something to say, so she was grateful for the break – even if it wasn't much of a break.

She was restrained and in a different room from her previous stay. Her wrists, knotted to the bed, where sore and her arm hurt for the needle stuck in her vein.

They were making her eat this time, because she had reached rock bottom. They were making her eat without shoving food down her throat and she could feel herself heavier already, so she always tried to pull the restrains, but never could. She wasn't strong enough, she knew that. But that damn needle made her so angry, she wanted to rip her wrists open.

…

After lunch she got one visit that she didn't know she was expecting so much when Jordi showed up at her door. He looked tired and, if not, confused and Emma made some math. She had just gone home and already was back. It sure could look odd.

"Hi Emma." He greeted, with a sweet smile, as he got closer. He pointed to her bed. "Can I sit here?"

As an answer, she just nodded. Since the needle was gone from her arm, they allowed her a little more movement, and to put the bed in a sitting position that was more comfortable when you had people coming and going. He sat by her feet, his eyes quickly glancing at her fingers trying to reach the restrainers before he looked into her eyes again.

"I wasn't expecting to see you so soon." He admitted and Emma nodded again, but that was Jordi – she thought -, so maybe he deserved a few words. After all, he was the only one who kind of noticed that she wasn't quite alright, even though she was mad at him for not trying harder.

"I screwed up big time, Jordi." She told him, a confession. The words had been running in her mind he whole time she was awake, begging to come out, but she didn't want to talk to doctors or nurses or her parents. Damn, she didn't even know if she wanted to say them to anyone. Maybe she just needed to speak out loud and, to be honest, Jordi probably wasn't the best choice for a listener; he probably wouldn't know what to say.

"Wanna talk about what happened?" he asked and he seemed to have a legit interest in what she had in store, but she thought better and shook her head no. "It's okay if you don't, but you know we're friends, right? You can count on me."

This time, Emma managed to offer him the smallest of the smiles.

"I know, Jordi, and I appreciate it very much." It was true and her heart softened a bit. Jordi smiled again and pushed the hair from his face. He was a little shaky. "Are you okay?" Emma caught herself asking and he shrugged.

"Been better." He chuckled. "I will have my first second roll of chemo in a few hours, that's all."

"What?" she sat up a little straighter, now completely interested. Jordi was supposed to have surgery after he finished his scheduled chemo sessions, so that was some big news. And she had been gone for such short time!

"Apparently, my cancer is too strong and the bosses don't want to let Dr. McAndrew follow with the surgery. They are making me wait and puke for a tad bit longer.

Emma raised an eyebrow, skeptical.

"Did you managed to emancipate already?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Working on it."

"What is there left to solve the thing up?"

Jordi made a face.

"Money." He told her. "I'm raising it, but I'm still eighty dollars short."

"How are you raising it?" she asked, full of curiosity and Jordi blushed a little.

"It's not very legal, you know?"

They both looked at the glass wall with view to the corridor at the same time as if waiting for someone to pop up and interrogate them and that added to the idea of an illegal secret made Emma giggle a little. The sound was so foreign that Jordi's head snapped in her direction almost instantaneously, his eyes surprised and amazed.

"You know, a lot of things happened the past couple of days." He said changing the subject and Emma mentally noted that he didn't say which illegal ways he was using to raise the money he needed. "If you don't want to talk about yourself, I can tell you all about everyone else."

Emma looked at him still with the smile that came from the giggle in her lips and nodded. That would be a nice start, at last.

And he told her everything he knew had happened – which was a lot.

Hunter had found himself a nice liver and was in post-op now.

Charlie told everyone – you know, with his eyes, not actually speaking – that Nurse Jackson and Dr. Naday were dating (wasn't he a little gossiper?), a new that made Emma's jaw drop for almost half a minute.

Leo and Kara had spent the previous day out, apparently doing something with sports, he didn't know for sure, but he did hear the word soccer once or twice. They got back super late and Kara wasn't feeling very well now. She was very cold (not metaphorically, which was worrisomely) and had slept for almost eleven hours. From what Jordi knew, Leo was with her and Dash hadn't told him yet that Emma was back to the hospital.

That explained a lot and made a lot of sense, somehow. What other reason would Leo have for not to come yet besides not knowing she was there? It'd make it the second time he failed her in less than 24 hours and that didn't sound like Leo at all.

"I can-" Jordi started, but paused until Emma looked into his eyes again. "I can grab my guitar and play you something, if you like." He said, sounding so nervous it was adorable. "We can sing together and be distracted. That way I don think about the chemo and you forget about those things." He pointed at her hands and she looked down.

She hadn't even noticed that she was nipping at the edge of the restrainers with the tip of her fingers and him calling her out made her snap out of it. With her mind working faster than it should, considering how exhausted Emma still felt, she thought the suggestion through for a few seconds and then nodded.

"That would be nice." She said and Jordi smiled.

"Cool." He jumped from the bed, landing on his right leg and made a face, but quickly dismissed the worry that passed through her eyes. "It's okay, don't worry. I'll be right back, okay?"

Emma smiled and then nodded.

"Okay."

…

It took Leo two days to go and see Emma and, in case you're wondering, she wasn't angry about it: she was livid – so furious that she didn't even want to look at him and he just stood there at the door, watching her.

She had so many things to say to him. So many. But that stupid face of his, the damn puppy eyes filled with worry, the limp and the stupid mouth that she adored more than it could be healthy. He seemed guilty, almost, and he should be, because he said she could always count on him, whenever she needed he would be there, but he lied and the most important time she need him to talk her through her mind, she was left with the voicemail. It sucked so bad, to the point she had to be hospitalized again. That was how much of a bad person he was.

"I didn't know you were back." Leo finally said, risking a few more steps towards her, but stopped under her cold glare. "I swear to God Nurse Jackson just told me. She said she was surprised I was taking care of Kara and not you."

"Why would you be taking care of Kara?"

He shrugged, but she could read him too well and something had gone wrong. Leo might be the leader figure, but he was more than that and he cared too much about the people who surrounded him.

"She's my friend." He said at last. "And I feel kind of responsible."

Emma scoffed.

"Why, did you scare her to death or something? Because I'd definitely like to see that."

Leo shook his head no.

"It's something else." And that was as much of a detailed description he would give her about his part on Kara's situation. It was fine with her, she wasn't on team Kara anyway (although she wouldn't like to know the girl died).

"Didn't you get my calls?" Emma asked, the one question she told herself over and over not to vocalize. Leo looked at her as if she had said something foreign and just a second later his eyes widened.

"Oh, my God." He said under his breath. "Oh, my God, my phone, I think it still is in Kara's car! With everything that's been going on, I totally forgot about it!" and then he looked at Emma with inconsolable eyes. "Shit, I totally failed you. It's my fault you're here."

It kind of was – Emma thought shrugging – but she said something different.

"No, it's my fault."

Leo, however, was pacing from right to left and shook his head.

"No, Emma. I mean, yeah, you did make the decision at some point, but you could've have gotten help or talked to someone and that someone should have been me, but I wasn't there." He paused on his tracks and looked at her again, as if for the first time. "I'm sorry I suck."

He did suck. As a friend, as a boyfriend. He even sucked at being the example child with his bad discipline and stupid limp. But nothing melts the heart of someone in love more than self-pity and she was sold.

Shaking her head and smiling, Emma slid to the left and pointed the space in her bed that Leo took without thinking twice.

"It's not your fault." She assured again and she wanted so much to touch him, but her arms were still restrained, living her with not enough movements. "Did you miss me?"

Her question was sweet and spoken with that softness, her eyes locked into Leo's and that way she saw the pain that crossed them.

"Of course I did." He answered, his tone serious. "I was worried and wanted you to actually be better, complete your treatment. Not in a million years I'd like to see you back to the hospital like that, though. I wanted to see you and I almost went to your house when you left, but…"

He was cut by Emma's lips in his and she tried to drag him to that kiss (it had never been hard), but after a moment or two she realized that he wasn't corresponding, he was just frozen there, so she backed up, leaning on her pillows. Leo was extremely serious, like she had never seen before and it dreaded her. It dreaded her because she had a good guess of what would come next.

"I can't do this right now." He said, the exact words she didn't want to hear.

"Why not?" Emma asked, her voice smaller then when she first talked to Dash.

Leo shook his head unsure of where to start. He was caught in the middle of this situation too complex for a seventeen years old to resolve, an equation around a bunch of sick kids who had too many demons to deal with and no one had it figured out.

Before he could find a way to put that in words, though, Emma had already come to her conclusions and snapped.

"Oh, I see." This time, her voice was cold. "I see I was right the whole time. You are cured now and I bet your trip with Kara helped you see things through, didn't it?" she hardly processed the fear that crossed his eyes. "What, did the soccer field reminded you who you really are? The same American dream boy you were before is still there, because your soul is whole and nothing can take that away from you. And now that I'm sicker, I don't fit your picture. Malleable, kind of healthy-looking Emma does, but sick, knotted to the bed Emma doesn't and you are trying to find a way to say it, aren't you?"

Emma's words were bitter and the whole time Leo was trying to make her stop, but she was in too deep and quickly sinking.

"Emma, you couldn't be more wrong…"

"Couldn't I, Leo? Couldn't I? Cause it seems pretty damn clear I'm not, you can barely look at me without looking guilty!"

"That's because it's too confusing, okay?" he shouted, surprising both of them and Emma closed her mouth. "You left after saying all those things and you didn't pick up the phone and then Hunter was going to leave, so Kara was pissed, so we wandered around trying to figure out life, but now you are back so, so fast and Hunter has a new liver and recovering and we are… so…" he slowed down, looking at his own hands, incapable of looking at her "confused."

They kept in silence for a moment too long, Emma trying to process what he meant and then it clicked.

"You had sex with her?" she asked feeling utterly betrayed. Leo didn't look at her, but nodded. If you listened closely, you would hear the sound of heart breaking. "Fuck the fuck off, Leo." Emma said, putting in her tone all the control she had with food. "Fuck the fuck off now and don't you dare coming back anytime soon."

He had no choice but to obey.

…

By the third day, Emma was freed from the restrainers. She started to have solid breakfasts, but still had to have lunch and dinner through the catheter. Every afternoon Jordi would show up and they would talk and play. He made her remember that she liked to write poetry and they put music in some of her works. He told her that he'd have to finish the round of chemo anyway before doing the surgery and thanked her for the help (she had given in the last eighty dollars by convincing her sister that he was a professional musician and needed to be paid) (also, her sister had developed a serious crush on him), for it allowed him to finish the process and emancipate after all.

In two weeks and three pounds fatter, she could finally walk around the corridors again, even though she knew she was being closely watched. It was good to have some freedom at last, even if that meant to be able to go to the red banders' meetings and increasing her chances of meeting Leo.

She had made sure to convince herself that she would not let him ruin her stay. Emma had never been the kind of girl who mooned around a guy, the Bella to some Edward, and Leo Roth would not make her be.

(and maybe, if she'd tell herself that enough times, he'd actually lose his powers)

All her act cracked when she went to visit Charlie. He wasn't awake when she got there, but across the curtain that gave the roommates some privacy she could perfectly hear Dr. McAndrew and nurse Kenji interrogating Kara.

"Look, I'm okay now. You don't need to worry so much." She heard the girl say and if there was a way to roll her eyes harder, Emma would have done it.

"Yes, but took you two days to fully function again, sarcasm and all." Nurse Kenji cut her. "What happened for your body to react like that? You didn't have any infection, everything seemed to be in order…"

"Kara," now it was Dr. McAndrew. "We need to know if you did something – anything – different to make sure we'll be prepared if there's a next time."

There was silence for a few seconds and Emma noticed a moment too late that she was getting closer to the curtain.

"There won't be a next time." Kara finally said.

"What makes you so sure?" Dr. McAndrew asked and she heard a heavy sigh.

"Because I know what caused it, it was an orgasm, okay? Happy now?" but there was no humor in Kara's voice, not even the usual acid.

"But I thought you and Hunter were a thing." Nurse Kenji said, obviously doing the math. "Who's your new boyfriend?"

Kara scoffed and it cracked her quiet girl act in a zillion pieces.

"I don't do boyfriends, nurse Kenji." She said being herself again and before Emma could stop herself, she caught herself speaking.

"No, you don't." she said, looking directly at Kara. "Just other people's boyfriends."

There was nothing in Kara's posture to redeem her. She didn't even blush or looked embarrassed and for one second Emma wondered why she even thought that she could intimidate the cheerleader. The blonde girl raised an eyebrow, the two of them completely ignoring the others in the room.

"You are really going to be that girl, aren't you?" Kara asked with false surprise, spilling acid with her sarcastic words. "The insecure, unloved, uninteresting girl weeping for the Prince Charming she would never have had yet somehow managed to conquer just to ruin everything she so much wanted to the ground, mad at the homewrecker that destroyed her dream by doing all the things she couldn't bring herself to do. Of course you are. Because you couldn't be more one-dimensional."

One couldn't know how deep the words cut into Emma's flesh, but pain had a way of working in sick people's metabolism, so Emma felt a weird push to run. She hadn't ran in a long, long time, because she didn't have the strength anymore and it was one of the things she kind of missed, so she just went for it.

She ran through the halls of the pediatric floor, got to the stairs that would lead her to her floor until she reached her old room and looked at the guy inside it, a poster child guy whose disease seemed to had destroyed his career – if she could say that the baseball player in the pictures was the same person in that bed. And it made her thing of her own passion for volleyball despite her short height and how anorexia took it – the passion itself - from her and she hated her mind for playing tricks with her body and make her push forward into situations she knew she shouldn't get into.

Finally, Emma remembered that that was the last thing she had thought after throwing up her dinner and before passing out in her bathroom – what a trickster life was when you were sick – and pinpointed the exact moment as the one she decided to actually try a bit.

She would not take that one-dimensional label. Ever.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Can you please leave a review telling me your thoughts?