Tad shorter than my other chapters but I felt like throwing this out here to keep things rolling. Also, cliff hangers.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Central City
November 14, 21:45

Dinner with the Wests had been an excruciatingly awkward affair, to put it very, very mildly. They had talked about school and Artemis had mumbled. They'd asked about heroing and she had suddenly become very engrossed in her food. And then? Artemis felt slightly sick at the mere thought. They'd asked about girls. The conversation had gone something like this.

"So, Wally, is there a lovely lady in your life yet?"

Cue Artemis laughing and catching herself after a second, trying and failing horrendously to pass it off as a cough. Thankfully, Mrs. West simply raised an eyebrow and Artemis figured that Wally was far from normal, so his mother was probably used to much stranger outbursts. "Not, uh, not yet... mom."

"Anyone you're interested in?"

At this point, Artemis had gotten an overwhelming urge to announce Wally's newly discovered homosexuality but after a second thought, she realized that that was a conversation she was not willing to expand on. Getting 'the talk' from Wally's parents was not something she was prepared to do now or ever, especially not about homosexuality. So she just stuffed some more food into her mouth (being Wally meant eating like Wally) and shook her head.

"Well, I'm sure your dream girl is somewhere out there, waiting for you."

Artemis had been very tempted to use the steak knife to end her misery but Wally's fast healing would have screwed up that plan. Sort of like Wally's existence was screwing up her whole life at this current moment in time. And just in general in every moment in time since she had first met him.

Thankfully, that had been the end of this short but uncomfortable conversation about Kid Jerk's love life. Artemis had practically gone into super-speed mode in her hurry to leave the table once dinner was finished. Now, in the safety of Wally's room – figuratively speaking as there were probably like 30 different health hazards here – Artemis was laying on the sheets she'd changed and staring at a bikini-wearing model on a poster taped to the ceiling. He was such a charming, little virgin.

Despite this morning's early start and 'eventful to say the least' day, Artemis was still too wound up to feel tired. Rolling out of the bed and avoiding stepping on a pizza box, she realized that if she was going to stand staying here for even one more night, she'd have to clean. The fact that it would allow her to snoop around the room was just an extra bonus.

When she'd asked where the vacuum was a few minutes after ten, Wally's mom had honestly teared up a bit and then – to Artemis's great enjoyment – she'd hugged her. And thankfully given her the vacuum afterwards. Hopefully, his mom would now pester Wally to vacuum every day. One could dream.

It took around 45 minutes, some very disturbing discoveries – Wally's dirty underwear was something she had never, ever wanted to see and it would probably scar her for life – and a stuffed trash bag but the room finally looked like a human being could actually live in it. The only incriminating things she'd found were a few pornographic magazines under his bed which she hadn't dared to touch and what had looked like a tiny Flash shrine in a shoebox. Of course, the fact that Wally was a sexually deprived teenager and a complete nerd-slash-fanboy was in no way a new discovery.

Exhaustion seemed to kick in like a full on punch to the face. With a great yawn, she pulled off the shirt and groaned when she realized she still had the stupid, yellow spandex on. Once she'd removed the jeans and socks as well, she'd finally managed to locate a zipper on the damn thing. After almost tripping twice (and blaming it on Wally's stupid body) she managed to get out of the uniform and tossed it into the clothing pile she'd made in one corner of the room.

Of course, Artemis had seen Wally half-naked once before and at the time, before she'd realized that he was a complete ass, she'd allowed herself to enjoy the view. Just a bit. He wasn't a freaking Adonis, he was just... fit. Kind of toned in a way that suited his figure. And the splash of freckles across his upper chest was admittedly a bit charming and yeah, she was going to stop admiring Wally wearing nothing but underwear (even though said underwear was red and with the Flash emblem and really fucking dorky).

Going through the now folded clothes in his closet, Artemis pulled out some sweats to sleep in and tugged them on. After going through all the pre-sleep rituals, her eyes moved to the toilet. A sickening vision of Wally standing in front of the mirror and watching her body half naked flashed through her mind and her knuckles whitened with the force of her hands gripping the bathroom counter. She hoped for his sake that he kept his eyes and hands to himself or she'd have to shove an arrow through said eyes and hands.

Seeing as peeing in this state was pretty inevitable, Artemis wondered about the best way to do this without getting stuck with images she could never un-see. After some thought, she retrieved the cleaning gloves from Wally's room and put one on. With that, the sweats pooled down around her ankles and she took a seat on the toilet, eyes fixed on anything but the task at hand. Oh, god. I can't believe I've practically touched Wally West's penis.

…...

Central City
November 15, 07:15

The painfully annoying sound of Wally's alarm clock going off snapped Artemis out of her dream infused sleep, something she was almost thankful for. She was definitely used to less than comfortable dreams but this one had felt all muddled and real; more like a memory than anything else. But she could hardly remember it now. She had more important things to worry about. School. Oh, the joy.

After groggily going through all the hygiene rituals – with the help of her now trusty cleaning glove which she kept by the toilet – Artemis opened up Wally's closet and realized that if nothing else, she could at least find the most ridiculous thing that Wally possessed in his wardrobe and make him wear it to school. Maybe someone would take pictures. However, she found something even better than a nasty colored top or a horrifying gift-from-grandma shirt.

With an extremely pleased grin, Artemis tugged on the dark green shirt and marveled at the sight that greeted her in the mirror. The arrow emblem that took up most of the shirt made her happier than it probably should have but she didn't care. It was just a bonus that this color clashed completely with the red of Wally's hair.

It took a long search but she finally found a pair of jeans that didn't smell like boy and sweat and pizza. Pulling them on, she picked up Wally's schoolbag which proceeded to barf up all of his books. With an almighty groan, Artemis thought about reorganizing the books but really, why bother? With one big sweep, she stuffed all of his crap back into the bag and zipped it up. Dragging it out of the room, she practically ran for the door, shouting to the Wests that she wasn't hungry as she bolted out into the cold air.

Gotham City
November 15, 08:10

"Shit, shit, shit- 'scuse me, please move, thank you- shit, shiit."

Wally tugged awkwardly at the hem of the mandatory skirt, breathing harshly as he sprinted down the busy streets of Gotham. Blonde hair was slapping his face and probably the face of everyone he passed but the speed-lacking speedster really couldn't have cared less. He was late as fuck and he knew Artemis would murder him if he put a blemish on her record (which, honestly, couldn't be perfect but who was he to argue with Artemis logic).

It was only due to his incessant shoving and the running that made his feet hurt in these ridiculous shoes, that Wally was able to stumble through the school's main doors just as the bell rang and students began to filter into their classrooms. A few looks were sent his way as he stared at the number of Artemis's locker on the note (courtesy of Artemis, of course), looking around wildly for the right one. Some of those looks were clearly judging him for the tousled hair and what he presumed was a flushed and sweaty face but the others were more… lewd.

If it hadn't been for his immense hurry and panic, Wally would have taken a moment to ponder why exactly Artemis was getting all of this male – and occasionally female – attention. Sure, the long legs maybe looked attractive to someone in the skirt and he had grudgingly realized the charm in long, soft and blonde hair last night but come on.

With the realization that he had, indeed, just taken a moment to ponder, Wally arrived a couple of minutes late into the right classroom, but only after he'd barged wildly into the wrong one first. Hopefully news of 'Artemis' running around the school looking like a crazed maniac wouldn't travel very far or fast.

Accepting the teachers glare, Wally slumped dejectedly into the only empty seat. A very feminine giggle reached his ears and once the grumpy teacher looked away, Wally risked a glance over his shoulder. A very smug looking brunette was whispering what Wally easily identified as gossip into her friend's ear.

From the mocking look Wally was receiving, it wasn't hard to guess who was the object of their gossiping. No surprise there; with Artemis's attitude, Wally wasn't surprised that more people weren't exchanging remarks about the bitchy blonde. Still, it did sort of irk him that someone other than him was complaining about Artemis. He decided he didn't much care for the brunette.

He decided to actually tune into what the teacher was saying and his joy at realizing that this was a chemistry class was short lived. This was like chemistry for kindergartners. With a very audible, very displeased groan, Wally slumped further into the seat, trying to hide his flushed cheeks once he realized that the damn skirt was riding up. An attempt to not think about Artemis's legs followed which led to more pleasant thoughts about greener, more martian legs peeking out from under that pink, little skirt and with a happy expression, Wally zoned out.

Central City
November 15, 15:30

If there was ever a day that was the epitome of feeling like you want the ground to swallow you whole and never spit you out again, this had been that day for Artemis. When there had been an opportunity to screw everything up, it had not been wasted. Honestly, she was starting to feel like Wally himself, only with three times the bad luck. Which was really saying something.

Not one, not two, but three goddamned pop quizzes, lacking the right books for a few classes, eating her lunch on the steps outside because she doubted Wally had people fighting for his presence and basically just failing at every aspect of this nerd's life.

Oh, and there was, of course, the fact that there was a mild possibility she'd pissed off the local beef cake.

"Watch where you're going, loser." A shoulder bumped hard into Artemis's, throwing her frame back into a wall of lockers. Artemis raised her now green eyes, meeting a face she'd never seen before wearing an expression she was very familiar with.

"Sorry, your strutting and the smell of insecurity distracted me. I'll be more careful next time," she bit back, the sass sounding almost funny in Wally's voice. The 'typical angry yet troubled jock' did, however, not look amused.

"The hell did you just say to me, West?"

Artemis rolled her eyes, pulling the bag strap higher onto her shoulder before turning away from the drama. She could hear Wally's request not to mess up his life ringing in his ear and even made sure not to strut. There was nothing she wanted more than to get through this damn day but obviously, that wasn't going to happen so easily. It really did seem karma owed her one.

Shaking off the hand that had firmly grasped her shoulder, Artemis turned around, only to get shoved backwards. Her temper flared instantly, hands balling up into fists. Even though she was wearing Wally's clumsy body, she was confident that she could take this guy. Upon seeing the clenched fists, Mister macho laughed.

"Really? You do remember what happened the last time you had a go at me, right?" he mocked. Artemis barely had time to wonder whether it was funny or shocking that Wally had lost a fight with a guy whose brain was as big as an ostrich's, as the bell blared and students filled the halls almost instantly. Through the crowd of teenagers, Artemis could feel an angry glared following her down the hall.

With great relief, Artemis turned down yet another unfamiliar street, following her phone's trusty map back to the nearest zeta-beam. She almost expected a downpour, just to complete this shitty excuse for a day. Of course, it didn't start to spontaneously rain. Oh, no, that would have been letting her off easy. It would be much funnier watching her deal with a robbery. Fuck.

Notes:

Showing me love=Inspiration