To Love is to Fear

Asami was accustomed to fear. It was an emotion that had clung to her like a shadow since she was 6 years old. Before her mother had been killed, Asami never really knew what fear was. It was true that even as the daughter of the rich industrialist, Hiroshi Sato, Asami was not immune to the odd nightmare or worries of monsters under her bed. But no, real fear touched her when she was so brutally taught that the people she loved and cared for could actually leave her. She may have never had to worry about where she would sleep, or whether or not she would have food on the table, but she knew without a doubt that there were monsters in the world, and they could strike at any time, in any place.

Twelves years later, Asami would be taught that those same monsters can even be the ones we love. That fear can infect someone so deeply as to turn their love into hate. Losing her father to the lure of the Equalists, having to take him down herself, was one of the hardest things Asami had ever had to face in her young life. Asami also knew however, that she would not let it conquer her. She would become stronger and face the world on her own terms, even if her fears still clung to her.

It wasn't until she had seen Korra crumpled in her father's arms dying from the poison that the Red Lotus had administered, that Asami was once again shrouded in that same all encompassing fear she had felt as a little girl. Someone she cared about, Korra, was dying and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She was going to lose her, Asami had been so sure she would. She would never have the chance to tell Korra how she felt. Asami knew she could lose many things in her life. Her money, her company, she'd lost her mother and then her father, but losing Korra...Asami was certain that would be the loss that would break her. And even though Korra had survived, as the Avatar the chance of losing Korra was an ever present possibility that weighed on the young inventor's heart. Lately, it had even begun to seep into her dreams, turning them into viscous nightmares that kept her awake.

"Asami?" Korra whispered as she gently placed her hand on Asami's shoulder. "Are you alright? It's late."

Asami smiled at Korra and placed her hand on top of the Avatar's. "I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep and decided to come out and get some fresh air." Asami didn't want to worry Korra or ruin the moment by telling her where her thoughts had taken her. There was enough weighing on them already.

"Besides, I really enjoy seeing the night sky like this out here on the open water. So many stars...it's beautiful" Asami assured her girlfriend.

Korra smiled at her and glanced up the night sky as the steamer continued it's steady path south. They would finally be returning to her first home, the Southern Water Tribe, the next day and Asami knew that Korra was elated. It had been six months since Korra had last seen her parents, at Varrick and Zhu Li's wedding. Since that time, life had simply continue to be "one big, bumpy ride" what with the Earth Kingdom still in a state of upheaval after Kuvira's defeat and Wu wanting to abolish the monarchy. Not to mention the expansion of Republic City and the Avatar's needed presence to help work out the latest challenges and discoveries between humans and spirits.

Asami had been busy also. She and Varrick were working together on Republic City's expansion and the task was difficult, demanding, and if Asami was completely honest with herself...daunting. She often worried that she wouldn't be able to do enough or that she would let everyone down. Korra helped keep her steady though, reminding her that if anyone could rebuild Republic City...again...even better than it was before, Korra was certain it was Asami.

"It will be so good to see my parents and Katara! I've missed them. But, I admit, I'm also nervous. Telling them about us...I'm not worried that they'll hate me or you, but that they just won't understand. It's not as if this was ever something that we talked about." Korra smiled sheepishly while Asami listened.

"I need them to know though, I need them to see you as I do." Korra said quietly and she stared into the night sky, her eyes not really processing the many constellations. Asami took Korra's hand and kissed her palm, causing Korra to look at her finally.

"No matter what happens Korra, I'll be here for you. It's time we told them, and we can face this together." Asami whispered, smiling. Yet, in the back of her mind, she was worried. She knew how much Korra loved and respected her parents. What if they didn't accept her? What if they voiced the very thing that Asami often wondered? That Asami could never be good enough for their daughter?

Korra pulled Asami into a gentle kiss before tugging her gently back towards their room. It was almost time to face the day. Asami would just have to let her fears rest a while.

After reaching port in the early evening of the next day, they had left the ship behind and greeted Korra's waiting parents (along with a large crowd of gathered people wanting a glimpse of their Avatar). Asami had grown used to the crowds that would often meet them when she was with Korra. It was just a part of being the Avatar. But Asami often found herself wishing that it wouldn't happen as often as it typically did. Mostly because Korra was so embarrassed by the attention. She had certainly come a long way from the brash young woman Asami had first met. Asami also had to admit that it was often hard to have to 'share' Korra with so many people.

After they had greeted Korra's parents, they were taken to the main house to settle into their rooms. Neither Asami or Korra chose to acknowledge the slight look of confusion that her parents had given them when they saw that Asami was with their daughter. Asami figured they assumed Korra would be visiting them alone or with more of Team Avatar. But any confusion they may have had they kept to themselves, for which Asami and Korra were both grateful.

After they had settled into their respective rooms, they had met Korra's parents for a private dinner. There would be a grand celebration the next night, with the whole tribe in attendance along with a few visiting dignitaries from the Northern Water Tribe. But tonight was just for family and Asami was pleased to be included. Asami was currently telling Tonroq all about her plans for the expansion of Republic City.

"I'm hoping to gain approval for a new rail system that will traverse the whole city! Much like the one in Ba Sing Se only even more advanced." Asami gushed. Korra smiled. She loved how excited Asami would get when she discussed the projects she worked on.

"That's wonderful Asami. I also wanted to thank you. I hear you are also heading up the project to have the Southern Water Tribe's consulate building rebuilt. It means a lot to us and I want you to know that I and my people fully support the decision to have you on the project." Tonroq smiled at Asami.

"Thank you, Sir!" Asami blushed.

"Oh Korra! I wanted to ask you. I know things have been busy for you these days with the Earth Kingdom and Republic City, but how are you doing personally? Your letters only really talk about all of the work you've been doing or your next plans. Are you happy?" Senna asked her daughter.

Korra smiled. "Yes mom, I am. I feel like I'm really accomplishing something in the world. I still have so much to learn and experience but I know I'm finally on the right track and it's amazing."

"We're so happy for you Korra. After everything that's happened the last few years, especially when you were injured, it warms our hearts to see you in such a good place. But your father and I still worry about you at times. We know you have your friends to help you and guide you, but what about love? Have you made time for that in your life, dear?" asked Senna.

Korra sat there speechless while Asami desperately wished she could sink into the floor and disappear. They had planned to tell her parents about them on this trip but not tonight. They had wanted to just enjoy the evening. Plus, Asami felt herself focusing on that word. Love. Neither she or Korra had said that word yet...

Korra, blushing hard, stammered "I-I, I'm fine Mom! You really shouldn't worry about me or-or that."

Korra was flustered and Asami knew that. But she couldn't help but be a little disappointed that Korra hadn't come right out and told her parents.

"I understand you are fully committed to your duties as Avatar, Korra. But you must also be willing to focus on yourself at times. Love is important in life." Tonroq told his daughter and reached for his wife's hand. They smiled at each other before looking back at Korra who looked away. Asami could feel Korra looking at her out of the corner of her eye and turned to smile at Korra encouragingly.

"We know you and Mako are no longer together. But we don't want you to give up hope. There will be many eligible young men at the celebration tomorrow night in fact. It would be good for you to keep that in mind and see where your heart takes you." Senna told her.

Korra stared wide eyed at her mother while Asami looked away again. This wasn't going well at all.

"In fact, Nakoda will be there as well." Tonroq began and Asami didn't think it was possible for Korra to blush any deeper than she was at that moment. "He's become a very strong and capable young man Korra. I know the two of you didn't get along well as children but you should give him a chance-"

"Asami and I are together!"

Asami gasped and stared at Korra. Refusing to look at Tonroq and Senna for fear of what their reactions would be. Korra was red, and she was clearly nervous, but she looked at her parents with the same resolve Asami had often seen her in eyes before she went into battle.

Korra's parents were silent for what seemed to Asami like hours but in reality was likely only a matter of seconds. It was Senna who finally broke the quiet. She set down her bowl and stared at her daughter before looking at Asami with curiosity and...confusion? Disbelief? Asami wasn't sure. Then Senna spoke, "Korra, dear. What do you mean you and Asami are together?"

Korra rubbed the back of her head before taking a deep breath. "I mean Asami and I are a couple. We've been together since not long after Varrick and Zhu Li's wedding. W-We mean a lot to each other and one of the reasons we came to visit was to finally tell you about us." Korra told them.

Tonroq cleared his throat and finally spoke. "Korra, you know that your mother and I love you and will always support you, no matter what." Korra nodded and Asami felt herself beginning to hope.

"But, I'm not certain this...relationship, is the right path for you. As the Avatar and as our daughter, you have many expectations set upon you. I know you care for Asami and that she is your friend, but I don't believe this is what is meant for you. I don't believe, she is what is meant for you." Tonroq told his daughter firmly.

Korra was stunned and her mother looked on worriedly between her husband and daughter. But Asami just stared at the table with her fists clenched in her lap. Tonroq had all but told Korra the very thing Asami always feared. Asami wasn't good enough for Korra and never would be.

Before Korra could say anything else, Asami stood from the table. "Excuse me, please. Senna, thank you for the meal. I think I'll get some air." and Asami left before Korra or anyone else could stop her. She left the dining hall and grabbed her thick coat before heading out into the cold night air. Her fears engulfing her and tightening with every step.

She loved Korra, but did Korra love her? And if she did...would it be enough?

Author's Note:

Wow. I haven't written a fanfiction in YEARS. I hope it doesn't show too much. I've had this idea floating around in my head since the finale and I just had to get it out. I hope you guys like! Reviews and critiques are always welcome. Part two is coming I promise!