AAASP

By Jelsemium

For Qweb

The text was simple, an address in the warehouse district, followed by "Come ASAP, please."

It was the "please" that surprised them and convinced them to show up. None of them could remember the last time that Nick Fury had said "please." They wondered if it was a good sign or a sign of the coming apocalypse.

Fury and Maria Hill met them in front of the main entrance. "Thanks for coming," Fury said. "I know it's short notice, but I had to grab you while you were available."

"If you want us available, you merely need to refrain from sending us away," Natasha murmured.

Taking his life in his hands, Fury ignored her.

"So, what have you got?" Steve Rogers asked, rubbing his hands together almost gleefully.

"This cannot be an emergency," Thor deduced. "They look too pleased for there to be an imminent threat."

"No, charity work is something that many government agencies do this time of year," Maria informed him. "We decided that it was especially important for SHIELD to…"

"Contribute to peace on Earth, goodwill towards man," Steve said.

"Nothing like a little good publicity," Clint said.

"Wait, does this count as my first official mission as an Avenger?" Sam Wilson asked."Not that I'm complaining, mind. It's just that I do this sort of thing all the time and I was hoping for something more… spectacular to put on my resume."

"Don't worry, fly-boy," Tony Stark said cheerfully, slapping the winged Avenger on the back. "I'm sure that we'll have something suitably apocalyptic by the end of the week."

"Oh, that's a relief," Falcon said in dry tones. Apparently the Avengers didn't get many jobs that fell in the comfort zone between doing PR gigs and saving the world. Not that he minded PR gigs. As he'd just said, he volunteered for a lot of holiday projects. This promised to be fun, especially since Stark had told them he had hired caterers.

They group walked into the warehouse and Hill flipped on the lights. "We have six days before Christmas Eve," she said. "Ideally, we'll finish them all by the 23rd."

"Christmas Adam," Clint murmured. Hill ignored him.

Sam blinked. "Now, this is what Kris Kringle's garage must look like!" he said happily.

The room was filled with large boxes with colorful labels. Upon closer examination, the labels indicated that the contents were bicycles, tricycles, scooters, strollers, and even a few sports wheelchairs.

"I decided that this was the best task for us," Fury announced with… was that a smirk?

"Wow," for a moment Steve was too overawed by the sight of all the toys he'd wanted when he was a child to catch on to Fury's scheme.

"Why?" Bruce Banner asked. "Because it requires manual dexterity and mechanical aptitude?"

"Because it's more manly than wrapping presents?" Thor ventured.

"Because we can work on it between Earth shattering crises?" Tony guessed.

Clint pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "No, no, because he gets to say…"

"Don't say it, Fury," warned Natasha at the same time.

Fury merely grinned and then bellowed at the top of his lungs: "Avengers, ASSEMBLE!"