Huh… A virgin? Really?

Ice cubs were slowly melting in his scotch as Rafael went deeper and deeper in his thoughts… There was a lot to think about.

…

First… and Rafael didn't want to admit it to himself… but he was amazed by Michael. How did he manage to be around this gorgeous sexy woman and remain sane? Every time Rafael touched her, felt her… every time his emotions – and his earthly desires – would hit him like a truck and he was buzzing with need. Assuming Michael was made of the same bones and flash as Rafael… how he'd manage to survive?

Well, Rafael was NOT going to ask his rival for tips on how to stay cool! He was, however, going to top Mike's attitude and be as supportive and respective of Jane's decisions as humanly possible! Screwing this up was not an option!

Second… and how exactly was he going to do that? Because let's face it… Rafael was not a virgin… for a looooooong time. And he kinda… relied on it.

He was good at sex, he knew that. Not because women found him good-looking and desirable… which he also knew… but because he was genuinely interested in a ways woman's body reacted to his. For some period of time it was almost a scientific research to him – even though from the perspective of his father it looked like Rafael boned every women who passed by…

Still… in his worst days Rafael managed to stay respectful of women… and generous and creative in bed. That made him into a great lover… and combined with his financial fortune and good looks it made Rafael into unstoppable force when it came to conquer. That's how he knew he'd get any girl he wants… that's how he'd gotten Petra.

And then Petra got pregnant… and everything changed. These days Rafael keeps telling everybody that cancer changed him… but it's not true. The baby changed him. His unborn child, this little person whom Rafael loved more than anything in the world… the one we was changing for, to be more than just some playboy, to be worthy of respect, to be worthy as a parent…

But that didn't happen. Cancer did. And somewhere in the middle of all this darkness he realized that not only his marriage was fake – everything about him was fake too. He was no playboy… he was a failure.

It took him years to stand up again. Took him even longer to admit that nothing will ever be the same. His marriage can't be fixed with memories and gratitude… his child… never again.

Except… Jane happened. Five years ago he kissed her on a whim… And now she's pregnant with his baby. The only baby he will ever have.

Playboy-Rafael wouldn't think twice on what to do next. He'd charm her, make Jane fall in love with him, marry her and secure that his only child is with him. He seduced women for less…

But todays Rafael was disgusted by the mere thought of it! Jane… his innocent, brave, emotional, beautiful… his Jane was so much more than just his baby-mama! And not only she carried his whole world inside herself – Jane was quickly becoming a whole world to Rafael too.

But… That presented a challenge… How do you win a woman's heart when none of your usual advantages apply? Jane wouldn't care about his money… she was too smart and too deep to simply go for one's good looks… and she wasn't having sex with him any time soon… so… what's left?

The only thing left was him, Rafael. But was he enough to deserve Jane?

He honestly didn't know. But Rafael was willing to fight for his chance with Jane. Even if he had to fight with himself!

…

Rafael stood up, placed his untouched drink on the coffee table and went to the bathroom. To take a cold shower. One of many cold showers to come.