How to confess to your everyday psycho

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basket or any of the characters in it. This is a Secret Santa present for hoka (inachuu) from tumblr. You know this will be OOC. Merry Christmas! ^_^

"Hello, Furihata-kun."

Said brown haired boy jumped and shrieked as Kuroko watched him mildly amused but with the same expressionless face he always showed them.

"Ku-kuroko-kun! Stop appearing like that! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" the boy huffed.

"I apologize, Furihata-kun. You seem to be quite distracted; I've been here the whole time and you are usually more observant than this."

"I was thinking about something, actually."

"Oh. Could it be…the reason why you decided to join basketball?"

"How did you know?!"

"I guessed. Have you confessed to that girl again, now that we have won the Winter Cup?"

"Um, about that. There is no girl, actually," Furihata replied scratching the back of his head.

"Is it a boy?"

"No!"

"I don't understand."

"It's just that the Coach wanted our reasons to be more serious than just trying to get popular with girls and finally get a girlfriend, so I invented this story. But there isn't actually someone that I was trying to impress. And after we started playing official games, I began to like basketball and being a part of Seirin's team more and more, and it got my mind off girls completely."

"That's amazing, Furihata-kun."

"Is it?" he asked surprised.

"That you managed to lie to the Coach and the rest of the school with a straight face, I mean."

"Shuddup," he muttered with a blush. "I've never actually been in love before. What about you, Kuroko-kun?"

"That is a secret," Kuroko answered smiling softly.

There is someone I like, but I will never say it. It is too weird. I am too weird.

Kouki worried his bottom lip with his teeth again as his eyes scanned through the numerous forum posts regarding love advice and confession tips. He was actually tempted to post and ask for advice describing the complicated person he wanted to confess to, but the paranoia stopped him from doing it; there was a small chance that someone in that person's group of friends might spot the message and he would be busted.

He closed the window and decided that the only things that could offer him proper advice were the Shoujo and BL manga series. After all, they seemed to feature people like Akashi Seijuurou all the time.

I was meant to be scared of him. He attacked Kagami-kun with scissors. Gave him a cut on the cheek right before the first match. Nearly took his eye out. Instead, I felt excited and fluttery every time he talked. My eyes followed the regal way he walked. I have never seen anyone look so elegant just by climbing down some stairs. I've never seen such an elegant basketball player as the perfect point guard Akashi with red eyes, never seen anyone look the way he looked at his team mates like they were the most precious things he had. I want him to look at me like that, like I am worth breathing the same air as him. I want him to cling to me like I'm the only happiness in his world. He makes me feel greedy. I hate what he makes out of me, and at the same time I am afraid; I can't see myself dating that perfect human being. No matter how I look at it, I am unworthy of him.

Why should he even confess? Doesn't he know what Akashi is capable of, what he did to Kagami-kun just because Seirin's ace refused to budge when he was ordered to do so? What would Akashi do to a small, weak guy like Furihata when he dared to insult him with a love confession…from one guy to another?

Kouki practiced in the mirror countless times the next few days, but the words don't come easily, not even now. He knows he stands no chance against the real deal – Akashi himself. It looks like he will have to do this the classical way – by writing a love letter.

They don't call him the brave coward for nothing. He knows he needs an ally in this, and he finds the perfect one in Kuroko Tetsuya.

"Personally, I think you have a death wish, Furihata-kun, but if you are serious about this, I will help."

Kouki suspects Kuroko agreed to tag along because he'll get a kick out of the situation no matter how it turns out.

"Love is like like basketball, Furihata-kun. There are 0% chances of victory only when all players have given up completely," Kuroko says, sipping a vanilla shake when Furihata cracks under the pressure and is ready to give up the whole plan.

"I am afraid though, Kuroko-kun!" he cries pitifully.

"Don't worry, Furihata-kun. I will be there the entire time."

"That is hardly reassuring. What if he's carrying scissors with him?"

"If that happens I will pretend not to know you, Furihata-kun."

"What?! Kurokooooo!"

"I am kidding," the boy deadpans, sipping from his milkshake.

The Grand Plan is to sneak inside Rakuzan High School during the basketball team's practice, find Akashi's locker, place the letter inside and leave. Kouki is going to keep sending letters and gifts, as if from a secret admirer and reveal his identity only if and when Akashi begins to warm up to his admirer. The boy wants to remain unseen and unknown that day just in case Akashi reacts poorly, and Kuroko offered to use misdirection on any Rakuzan student they may encounter, knowing that the only troublesome ones that can't be fooled by misdirection would be away from the lockers, training hard.

Thus they entered Rakuzan High School carefully, always looking out for other students. Thankfully, they didn't encounter anyone on their way; most clubs had already finished activity. They found Akashi's locker with very little difficulty and Furihata slipped it in while Kuroko stood guard around the corner.

'Phew, it is done,' the boy thought, turning around with a satisfied smile on his face, when he was yanked by the collar brutally backwards and slammed against one of the lockers. When the sharp pain subsided and he was able to open his eyes, he wished he hadn't – he was looking straight into a pair of monochromatic angry red eyes.

Hiiiiii! He was so dead.

"Who are you and what are you doing in Rakuzan?" Akashi asked.

Kouki froze and looked discreetly around the corner; Kuroko was gone. The jerk really had gone and abandoned him! He trembled, afraid for his life.

"Are you here to spy on my team? What high school are you from? Answer me!"

"N-n-no, A-akashi-san," Kouki managed a whisper. "I am not a spy."

"Then what are you doing here?"

Kouki looked for a fraction of second to Akashi's locker and the boy caught his gaze.

"Have you messed with my locker? What is this, some misplaced attempt at revenge?"

"I wo-would ne-never do that!" Kouki cried pitifully. "I respect A-akashi-san too much!"

Akashi looked at Kouki's frightened face (he looked ready to pass out), and keeping a hand attached to the boy's collar, opened his locker. A red envelope with his name on it fell to the floor.

"What is this?" Akashi muttered with curiosity. He let go of Kouki and turned around to remove the letter from the envelope. The scared boy slipped to the floor as his legs gave out and Akashi stopped paying attention to him, focusing solely on reading the letter with a frown on his handsome face.

A hand suddenly dragged Kouki backwards and he recognized Kuroko's hair in his peripheral view. Kuroko whispered to him to be quiet and together they snuck out of the locker room as silently as possible. In that moment, Furihata forgave Kuroko and they left the corridors as swiftly as they came. They started talking only when they finally got outside.

"I though I was going to die!" Kouki cried pitifully. "I thought you had abandoned me, Kuroko!"

"I am sad you think so little of me, Furihata-kun. He must have been already in the locker room when we entered. I knew I couldn't distract Akashi once he got hold of you, but if he failed to find me, I would be able to come to your rescue as soon as stopped paying attention to you."

"Thank you very much!" Kouki bowed.

"You're welcome. Now let's go and be grateful that I had the insight to make you change out of the uniform."

"So that I won't be recognized if the worst case scenario happens. Yes, Kuroko-kun, thank you!"

They kept running for a few more minutes, until they came at the entrance of a park. Kouki spotted some benches and he signaled Kuroko to go rest for a while.

"Do you still want to date him?"

"Well – "

Suddenly, Kouki's phone started ringing and the screen flashed an unknown number. Kouki frowned at the display.

"Who could it be?"

He decided to answer and they both sat down on a bench.

"Hello?"

"Is this Furihata Kouki?" a voice he knew too well asked.

"Y-yes," Kouki said gulping.

"Do you have the habit of running away after confessing to someone, Furihata-san?"

Hearing Akashi say such words (that Kouki never thought were ever a part of his vocabulary) and having Kuroko by his side gave the brown haired boy the confidence to speak boldly.

"You are the first person I ever confessed to, Akashi-san."

"I see. Tell Kuroko Tetsuya to leave and wait for me right where you are."

The call ended abruptly and Furihata looked at Kuroko panicking.

"How did he find out who I was so fast? Kurokooo, what am I going to do? He ordered me to tell you to leave!" he cried out.

"You know what happens if you defy him, Furihata-kun. Maybe you should just do as he says. He can't murder you here, this is a public place."

"Hiiiiii!"

"Good luck, Furihata-kun," the boy whispered, leaving. "I'll be waiting for you at the train station. Text me if you're going to be late."

"O-okay."

Kouki watched Kuroko's retreating back with sorrow and fidgeted. Every passing second drained him more than Coach Aida's training regime and he dreaded what would happen at the end of his solitude. He heard footsteps stopping right behind him but refused to turn around.

'Just strike me now, I don't want to see or know, please just be merciful Akashi-san,' he chanted in his mind.

A pair of arm circled him in a loose hug and the owner of those arms chuckled, breath curling in the shell of his ear pleasantly.

"I remember you now. Are you serious about what you wrote there?"

"Yes," he answered weakly.

"Why a love letter? Am I that scary to talk to?"

Kouki nodded, still keeping his eyes closed.

"Furihata Kouki, you are very brave, liking me despite our previous interactions. I hardly know you, but I am willing to give this a try."

Kouki turned around suddenly, eyes wide.

"Really? You accept…me?"

Akashi smiled, and it was breathtaking. A rosy hue adorned his cheeks. Kouki couldn't believe what he was seeing. His fear was completely gone, and instead he felt like drowning in that lovely pair of eyes.

"You are the first to confess to me so sincerely. I find myself interested in dating you. Are you free right now?"

"Yes! Please let me text Kuroko-kun so that he won't wait for me at the station."

"Be sure to send him my gratitude as well," the boy smiled mysteriously, sitting on the bench next to Kouki, kissing him lightly on the cheek and taking the boy's hand in his.

THE END

OMAKE – Late night texting/the night before.

"Akashi-kun, I know someone who is interested in you."

"Kuroko, you gossip. Which girl is it, this time?"

"It's not a girl. It's one of my team mates, actually."

"Really? Who?"

"Furihata-kun."

"…who is that?"

"He was behind me at the Generation of Miracles gathering and he guarded you for a few minutes during our game. He was the one that scored a 2-point basket."

"I remember him vaguely. He was the shaking player, right? The mousy brown haired boy that fell face first on the floor when he entered the court? What did Daiki call him? The Chihuahua?"

"Yes, that's him."

"Is he a masochist?"

"…I'm not sure, Akashi-kun."

"Sounds interesting. Bring him to me, Tetsuya."