(originally posted on tumblr.)

let it breathe

Slam.

They break through the doors of the mansion. Free cuts and bruises decorate their flesh. Bonnie is running away, but also challenging him to attack her. Kai obliges.

She is thrown down on the ground. He stands over her and bashes her head against the wooden floors. Bonnie gives as good as she gets, jamming the heel of her palm in his jaw, until she hears a muscle pop.

Kai's nostrils flare. He grabs her arms and almost pulls them out of their sockets. Their chests collide briefly, before she knees him in the ribs and topples him down. She is straddling him now and reaches for his throat; a vengeance for what he subjected her in the car.

"Aww, sweets, put - more - pressure - on - windpipe," he instructs between pants, as her thighs lock his arms to his body.

"I'm trying, you bastard!" she groans, failing to get a good grip on his neck. Her hands are shaking too much from the rush of adrenaline. She has never done this in her life; never actively sought to end someone else's. She has performed fatal spells and been close to killing powerful vampires, but never with her bare hands, never like this, magic-less. It's so brutal. Raw, animalistic.

Does she even want this? She has no clue. She has no clue what she wants anymore. It's only been two weeks since she sent her magic away and she can't take it anymore. She just knows he's pushed her to her last tether and today is the day one of them breaks.

And it won't be her.

Eternity doesn't have to be a losing game.

"Try harder," he instructs breathlessly, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

She slaps him once, twice, thrice, until her palm rings with pain and his lip breaks, drops of blood spurting out like pomegranate juice.

She claws at his neck, wrings the skin hopelessly. Red nail marks trail down his collarbone. She punches his chest, trying to stop his heart. He moans, but she's not entirely sure he's in pain.

She is not a killer. She can't do this.

Kai licks the blood on his lips. His hands have somehow found a way out of his confinement. They are squeezing her waist, making her start. He is pulling her toward him and his neck lifts up just in time to bury his head between her breasts.

Bonnie shrieks.

He inhales her sweat-soaked T-shirt and murmurs against the hollow of her chest.

"Let me show you how it's done."

In one fluid motion he turns her over again and pins her to the ground. This time, however, he holds both her hands above her head.

Bonnie sucks in a breath as he grins into her face, his teeth red with blood.

"Here's a lesson in serial killing 101. You want your victim to be special, but not too special. Ideally, she is someone people won't miss. Someone people tend to ignore. But you, the killer, see her potential."

Bonnie tries to wriggle out of his grip but his body weighs her down.

"You know the type, don't you? She's kind of a bitch, kind of a girl scout. She'll burn you to crisps for kicking a puppy dog. She'll give you headaches and make you regret the effort, but then it'll be oh so nice when she's screaming your name."

"You're out of your –"

"Mind? No, that will be you after I'm done. Not to brag, but do you know how much time I had to study your body these past few months when you and Damon thought you were alone?"

"What –"

Before she can say anything else, one hand has released her arms and the other is roaming under her shirt. Bonnie freezes in panic. But he only rasps his knuckles against her stomach, making her insides churn.

He watches her face, the way it grows taut and then slowly relaxes as he continues his movements.

Bonnie breathes in and out evenly, unsure if she should stop him or let him taunt her. She reasons with herself that stopping him would only incense him.

But then he is lowering his head and is blowing air on her stomach. Bonnie squirms, choking on a strangled breath.

"Ticklish, huh? Are you ticklish here too?"

He dips further down and leaves a trail of hot air on her pelvis, just above the hem of her low-cut jeans.

Bonnie exhales, almost raising herself to meet his breath.

She can't believe this. Kai is positioned between her legs on the carpet in front of the fireplace of the Salvatores' boarding house. Somewhere in this universe, her Grams is screaming.

He presses his lips on the skin there, presses hard, almost leaving an indentation. She can feel the wet drops of blood from his broken lip. She had done that. His teeth graze her pelvic bone, his tongue barely darting out, torturously. His fingers are working on the zipper.

"Jesus, to think that moron had you all to himself for so long and all he did was complain about some dumb bitch instead of eating the living shit out of you," he murmurs darkly, one finger slipping down to her mound.

Reality crashes down on her.

He's talking about Damon.

She hits the brakes so fast her head is swimming, but as she wrenches herself from him and crawls away, she registers shamefully, that she feels something warm pulsing between her legs.

Kai reaches out for her foot and pulls her back, but he is still caught up in the smell of her skin and when her hand lands on the poker and hits him savagely, he is knocked out cold from the impact.

She runs up the stairs and locks herself in Damon's room.

Later that evening, she is too hungry to remain confined to the Salvatore's bedroom. Plus, it'screepy. She chances a look out in the corridor and finds a plate of pancakes deposited at her door.

Bonnie wrinkles her nose. "Asshole."

When she climbs down to the kitchen, he is there, wearing an apron (Damon's) and making – big shocker – pancakes.

Kai isn't humming or dancing or just enjoying himself, like Damon would. He is watching the batter in the pan with almost unbreakable concentration, his mind clearly far-off. There is a lost look in his eye, like he's about to disappear.

Bonnie takes a step forward and coughs.

He looks up.

"Ah. Eleventh time you've tried to kill me. We're almost even," he says, rubbing the back of his head where the poker has left a sore bump.

"Look, I don't know what the hell you're trying to do –"

"Don't worry, I'm not making any for you. I'm not doing any of this shit for you. I'm hungry and apparently you two only shopped for fucking pancakes. I'm too lazy to go out. Scratch that, there's no point going out. I know exactly how things will turn out."

Bonnie crosses her arms. Somehow, she doesn't like this defeated Kai. Or is it only a trick?

"What about the plate you left at my room?"

"Don't eat those, I sprinkled arsenic on the topping."

Bonnie rolls her eyes. Just a trick.

She can see that part of him now; the teenager. He is a monster, sure, but above all, he's an overgrown kid.

"Oh, my favorite," she replies sarcastically.

"You know, I should just cut your entrails out like I did with my brother and leave you for dead like an animal. And I tell myself I will. Every day, I tell myself I'll grab this kitchen knife and just get it over with. I deserve to see the light dying out in your eyes after what you put me through –"

"After what I put you through?" she echoes, scandalized.

"But hey, every time I think that, I remember I'll have one less person to watch Baywatch with. And isn't that absolutely disgusting?"

"What is?"

"Depending on each other. I mean we have no other choice. Cuz Miss Sassy Pants took that choice away from me!" he hollers, smashing the plate and kicking the sizzling pan to the floor.

"Choice?! You don't get one anymore! You used it up a long time ago when you decided to slaughter your family!"

"Oh, right cuz you know so much about that. And what about Damon, huh? Isn't he a murderous sociopath too? But you could let him out even though, hey, maybe he's chomping on some human blood bank as we speak. After all, that's what vampires do, right?"

"You're nothing like him! You're poisonous, manipulative and a danger to all the sane people on this planet! Damon wants to change. You just want everyone to be like you. You're the biggest jerk I've met and considering my enemies, that's saying something!"

Kai laughs bitterly. "The biggest jerk you've met? I'm honored. Sadly, that distinction won'tget me out of here."

"Out? Trust me, you're never getting out. You deserve to stay here until you rot and even if you kill me, even if you gut me like your siblings, you'll be stuck here. Forever."

She feels his stare burning into her skull.

"Oh, yeah? Ditto, sweetheart. If I rot, you rot. At least I know what I am. I'm a monster, the Boogie Man under the bed. I'm a killer and I enjoy what I do and I'll never lose that. But you? What are you now, huh? A witch? Nooope!" he exclaims, mock-cheerfully. "You gave that up for little old me… So, you are nothing now."

Bonnie cries out angrily and throws one of the kitchen knives in his direction. He dodges easily and throws the cutting board which almost grazes her shoulder.

They dispose of various items around the kitchen until the floor is a mess of white, yellow and brown, broken glass and dirty blades.

They stand face to face, chests rising and falling rapidly, breaths caught in their throats, fists clenched, ready to pounce.

She is pretty sure she makes the first move. Like a freight train you can't stop. But with Kai, it's hard to tell; it's hard to stay one step ahead.

Because he's on her as quickly as she's on him.

Their mouths collide angrily, without sense or meaning, tearing at each other's lips, teeth knocking, tongues battling chaotically for dominance, like they are fighting for life and death and she can taste the dry blood from the hit, the hit she has given him and she feels this absolute thrill –

But then she can't breathe, because his hands reach out under her thigh and he's picking her up roughly and with one elbow he clears up all the trash from the bar table and slams her on the top and she's just going with the flow now, her legs wrapping around him desperately as his hands roam over her body, invading and destroying.

He's not gentle, not even sweet.

He rips her shirt in half and throws it on the floor. She's not wearing a bra.

"Fuck."

He groans when she presses her body to his, trying to unbutton his shirt. He takes a nipple in his mouth and lets his tongue swirl around it until she dips her head back and moans. He is flicking her other nipple and biting into her flesh in a way that's making her abandon all kind of second thoughts.

But it's too slow and they know it.

He ruins her jeans and her sharp nails tear through his shorts. She has never squeezed an ass before, but then again, she's never been fucked on a kitchen bar top either. It's new and terrifying and she wants to get drunk on it.

It's the raw physicality of it that gets her. She isn't used to this, using her bare hands.

Their clothes are hateful and they can't even bother to get completely naked. They need each other too much for that. And they hate each other too much for small gestures.

She buries her hands in his spiky hair as he snags her underwear around his fingers.

"Did any of those so-called jerks do this to you?" he murmurs in her ear with a wet smirk as he plunges two fingers inside her. A lover would proceed slowly, drawing small, lazy circles over her clit in sweet preparation for the climax, but he begins mercilessly, flicking and teasing and dipping his fingers back and forth at a dizzying speed. She mewls pathetically under his touch.

"Thought so. But gosh, Bon Bon, you're a tight little thing, aren't you?"

She hates how he talks like that, like he's this dumb frat boy, like he's a parody of himself. She wants him to keep talking nonsense, though. Because it's easier to let go of who she is.

"Keep…going," she mumbles into his shoulder. He slows down his movements almost to a stop.

"No! Asshole! I need -" she lets out hoarsely.

"Ah, ah! Let it breathe…" he speaks softly into her hair. She waits for the excruciatingly painful moment to end. For his hand to return where it belongs. She is pulsing, throbbing so hard that even the cold air affects her.

"Now," he growls, slipping his tongue inside her mouth. He swallows her scream. She comes undone around his still fingers. He isn't moving. He only kissed her. And she's a mess. A goddamn mess. Kai sucks in a breath when he feels the way her walls clench around his thumb.

"How…?"

"I told you, I studied your body. I know you need to stop just before you reach the edge."

Bonnie is gasping into his chest, trying to regain composure.

"I don't –"

He sticks his coated fingers into his mouth and sucks on them like they're a particularly tasty lollipop.

"Proved you wrong."

And then, he's pressing a rough palm on her chest until her back falls down on the bar top with a thump. He is already positioned between her legs and it should bother her that he is such a jackass, that he won't even wait for her to get over her orgasm, that he is greedily seeking an entrance, but then she realizes fuck yes, this is what I want –and it scares her.

Because he lifts her legs around his elbows and pulls her towards him until she feels their hips colliding and she just wants to get closer, to spread herself open.

When he plunges himself inside of her, he lets out a strangled sound of relief that travels down his body and makes him hurl his thighs forward, as if swept by a hurricane of motion.

Bonnie is filled up and cries out in agony. She feels the burning friction, the way his body leans back to accommodate her, only to frustrate her later by moving out of her and leaving her barren. And then he's doing it again, making her renounce her beliefs.

He pounds into her with the same vicious thrust he shot an arrow straight through her body.

Her agony turns into ecstasy and she just wants him to go faster. She looks up at the ceiling. The whole room is upside down.

"You're a good person, Bonnie," he says through heated pants, his voice soft and tender. "You're brave, loyal, patient…"

She knows this speech, she remembers what a bad liar he is, but his words get into her mind much easier now and incite her further. She moans as he trails his fingers down her thighs, bringing them closer, if possible.

His voice turns smug and victorious, although he is out of breath. "You're–being–fucked–by–a–murderer. And you love it."

Bonnie moans again, and lets her body arch back even further, her head falling into the abyss.

She lifts her arms and grabs his head, bringing him down on top of her, locking eyes with him.

"You–haven't–made–me–scream–your–name–yet."

It'll be oh so nice when she's screaming your name.

Kai lets out a deep growl. She is kissing his jaw, reaching out with her tongue in the hollow of his throat, behind his ear, driving him insane.

"Bonnie…"

"Malachai," she whispers.

He shudders and bucks against her, ready to fall over.

"Ah, ah…let it breathe," she teases, repeating his words, as she touches his mouth with her fingers.

He moans and bites on her thumb, until she's sure he can taste blood.

"Now!" she screams, and they both come undone.

The pancake batter is still dripping on the floor.