AN: Hey guys! I saw one of these at AO3 and just had to write one.

Disclaimer: I don't own Young Justice or Homestuck.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 3:10

TG: yo Egbert you havent talked to us for a while

TG: and the weathers been crazy in Washington on and off for like a month

TG: you okay bro

TG: nother nightmare dude

TG: come on dude talk to me

TG:

TG: i thought we were moirails man

TG: human bros for life

TG: how is this relationship supposed to work

TG: if you dont tell me whats up

TG: so I can fix it

TG: or beat someones ass

TG: preferably the latter

TG: i could use a good fight

TG:

TG: bro

TG: come on dude i know youre there

TG:

TG: bro are you cheating on me

TG: sitting on the pile papping face with another dude

TG: how long have you been having feelings jams with this guy

TG: how long john

TG:

TG: your having one right now arent you

TG: but i want you to know im okay with this man

TG: we can make this work

TG: we can have smutty pale threesomes

TG: videotape that shit and send it to the lalondes

TG: as a matter of fact

TG: lets get everyone up in this bitch

TG: pale orgy

TG: full of crying and hugs

TG: so scandolous

EB: ass.

TG: have you been looking at my ass egderp

TG: or are you thinkin bout someone elses ass

TG: the spiderbitchs ass

TG: or how about karkats

TG: unf that vantass

TG: come on bro spill

EB:

TG: dude

TG: i know its hard

TG: we all do

TG: rose still cries herself to sleep

TG: jade cant stand black dogs

TG: and I cant sleep at all

TG: but damn it john

TG: we need to move on

TG: we won

TG: its over

TG: however much its hurts

EB: i don't feel like that though.

EB: it still feels like it'll happen again.

EB: I'm looking over my shoulder all the time.

TG: yeah

TG: youre not john

EB: what?

EB: what are you talking about?

TG: jogn wouldnt have said that

TG: who are you

TG: and wheres john

EB: Very good. Remain calm. Your friend is safe.

TG: yeah

TG: no

TG: fuck you up the ass with a rusty sword

turntechGodhead [TG] invited tentacleTherapist [TT], timaeusTestified [TT], gardenGnostic [GG], gutsyGumshoe [GG], golgathasTerror [GT], and tipsyGnostalgic [TG] to chat

ectobiologist [EB] closed chat

timaeusTestified [TT] opened chat

ectoBiologist [EB] opened chat

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] opened chat

-gardenGnostic [GG] began responding to chat—

GG: What's going on?

TG: johns been kidnapped

-tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began responding to chat—

TG: siht

TG: im going

TG: jade cover me

GG: Sure! :D

TG: oh

GG: Well fuck. :B

-gutsyGumshoe [GG] began responding to chat—

GG: What is it? What's happened?! Do we have to get there?! Dirk start finding their cordina

GG: Johns eating cookies. :)

-golgathasTerror [GT] began responding to chat—

GT: Well then what is all the hubbub about?

TG: oh no

TG: i dont think you get it dude

TG: johns eating cookies

TG: with superman

TG: boy scout extrordinaire

TG: and batman

TG: number one cosplay man

TG: batman looks pissed

GG: He looks like someone took a piss in his frosted flakes.

TG: oh egdorks laughing

TG: fucking aderpable

TG: and now fly mans looking around

TG: time to leave

TG: before we get vaporized

GG: Yup!

GG: Zoop! And we're back home!

GG: Heehee. :)

-tentacleTherapist [TT] began responding to chat—

TT: Welcome back. I hope your trip into one of the bases of Earth's mightiest heroes caused you no harm. It would be very difficult to recover your pieces after all.

TG: naw we good

TT: Fantastic. Now, I am addressing John Mister Batman.

TT: John, you really shouldn't have done that. You made all of us worry about you, needlessly I may add, simply for a laugh. Rest assured that there will be swift and horrible judgment will fall upon you with the wrath of the gods the moment you return to us.

GG: You bet mister! :(

TT: Now I am addressing you Batman. Why did you feel the need to spirit our dear friend away. I already know the answers of course, but for the sake of others on the chat please elaborate. It would only be polite of course seeing as how some of us are blood relatives.

EB: Your friend has some extremely strong wind powers. Something you already know about. We can't have powers like that out of control so we took him here for training. You don't need to know about anything else.

TT: I understand. Far more than you know.

TT: I also see a favorable path for our group. Jade, if you will please take us there. Just to the left of the middle of the room will suffice.

GG: Heugh?! A good path?! After so long?! We're going!

-timaeusTestified [TT] began responding to chat –

TT: Jade wai

-timeausTestified [TT] has become an idle chum—

"You have some explaining to do." The caped crusader said.

John was having a great time. It was the first great time he'd had in a long time. Since the game had ended about three years ago in fact! He'd fooled Superman, which ended up not being as hard as he thought, and made Batman angry, which again wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, but still! His Prankster's Gambit was through the roof! And his Trickster's Gambit which his ex-moirail Vriska Serket suggested he start, which measured the amount of people he manipulated successfully, was through the roof too!

It'd been a normal morning for him. He'd woken up in his apartment at six in the morning and had gone to one of his jobs, a bookstore in the middle of the city. That particular one he'd been working in for three years, since he was thirteen. The manager had taken pity on him when he'd seen him trying to apply only to be thrown out the door. he could have just made music with Dave and Jade and Rose and the Alphas but they all decided they didn't want that much attention.

The man, Marcus Furrow, had given him a job and hadn't asked about his lack of records. Since then he'd managed to get two other jobs and an apartment. He had a stable internet connection and a home full of food that wasn't going to teleport to another world any time soon. The only responsibilities he had were going to work, paying his bills, and going to night school.

No more saving lives, timelines, or universes. No more random teleporting and fights to the death. No more dying. He was free, and it was so good. They were all free.

Well, as free as they could get with superheroes and supervillians fighting every day and no way to leave the planet to search for their friends. But still! It was a lot better than it was before. He had no clue why people complained about bills so much.

Any way, he was at work when he saw an asshole hassling a lady outside the shop. Being the gentleman he was he wasn't going to let that continue. He told his boss his was going just outside to help the lady and went to do so.

His plan was just to get the guy to go away. Threaten him a bit if he didn't back off, and then get back to work. But the guy just had to pull out a gun. In broad daylight too! How stupid can you get right?

The guy fired a couple of shots at him and he didn't have time to dodge so he stopped the bullets with his winds powers just before they hit his chest. It wouldn't do to die in a pool of his own blood outside of his work and then show up the next day! The look on Marcus's face if he did that would've been great though!

A little while after he went back inside, finished his shift, and went back to his apartment for a quick nap. It was best if he rested up before his next job, a waiter at a restaurant on the edge of town. It wasn't as busy as the bookshop but the people there were really needy. After that job he needed to head straight to the next one.

He usually flew to that job because it was so far away, from one side of the city to another, and that's what he was going to do. But he got caught flying by Superman. And wasn't that an awkward meeting! Superman staring at him in shock and him rubbing the back of his neck in complete quiet. Just what do you say to a frost breathing, flying, laser shooting, and building throwing alien? His alien know how was failing him! So he flew away. Not the best thing he could've done, but it was the only thing he could think of.

He'd ended up being late for work and got chewed out but that wasn't so bad compared to what happened later. Superman showed up at his apartment! He'd been coming back from the store and there he was, waiting by the door! Superman had looked at him and john frowned. He invited Superman inside, offered a drink and a snack. Dad did raise him to be kind and courteous, not rude. After Superman turned down the treats and drink (he set up the tea and cookies anyway) he asked him where his parents were. John then told him that he was an emancipated minor and that he and his parents weren't on speaking terms. It was a very practiced lie that all of them had said for years. Really, none of their parents had come back. They only had each other.

It apparently worked because Superman then asked him about his flight. John was purposely flighty at first, saying that it wasn't him that he found in traffic, it must've been someone else, but he wasn't having it. Superman then asked him to come train with a robot named Red Tornado, and a few other super heroes.

He said that John needed to be kept in check, because he didn't know what else John could do. That he could be a danger to Washington and to the world. That they had to make sure he didn't turn into a villain. John, now tired from work, and entertaining a man who had no trust in people apparently, told Superman what was what.

To put it simply, he told Superman to go fuck himself because he wasn't joining his covert team, for training or otherwise, because he had no plans of world domination. He just wanted to live out his life as normally as possible for as long as possible.

Superman then dragged him to the mountain that he said Batman and the team of kid heroes was at, Mount Justice. Batman then tried to interrogate him about any other powers he might have, if he knew any other supers, if anyone else knew about his power, yada, yada, yada. John wasn't saying anything, and was having a great time leading him in circles.

But then Dave contacted him on his phone. Batman, being a nosy shit, put the one sided conversation on a giant holographic screen. He laughed so hard at Superman's confused face! And his disgusted face at 'pale orgy'! Oh, priceless!

Batman told him to respond, and he told him he could go fuck himself. Batman then started going through his conversations with Dave from a week before, and John found himself thankful that he and Dave hadn't talked about the Game for a month. Batman then responded to Dave, and Dave caught on pretty quick. It always made happy how well Dave knew him!

Then things got out of hand (not John's hands of course. He was in control almost the whole time.) when everyone teleported to the middle of the room. Superman almost shot Jake through a wall, and Batman almost threw a Batarang at Rose.

But forget about that! Rose said there was finally a favorable path for them! They could finally find their friends!