It's just after 4pm by the time they finally let her out. Of course, that's numerous hours after they were supposed to release her, so anything Piper had planned for the rest of the day was likely going to be out of the question.
They'd cited paperwork, as well as difficulties contacting central office, as the problems that had delayed the process but Piper was pretty sure that, with all the goodwill of the holiday season, the counsellors were just being as awkward as possible. Ho ho fucking ho.
Alex's last few months at Litchfield had been pretty rough, by all accounts. Pennsatucky had, for reasons unbeknown fully to anyone but (presumably) herself, had suddenly ramped up her anti-lesbian vendetta again. Something about her not being too impressed to find that Big Boo had been fucking with her. Due to a particularly unfortunate set-up, Alex had been forced to make a visit to the little slice of heaven known as the SHU, only a few weeks before her release date. To add insult to injury, the whole incident had pushed her release back, which only makes all these extra last-minute delays all the more more frustrating. And that's just for Piper. She can't imagine how Alex must feel if she's sat in reception bouncing her knee up and down as she waits.
Much as it pains her to acknowledge it, she's nervous. Really fucking nervous. As it was, it had been a long process trying to convince Alex to forgive her for the whole getting her thrown back into Litchfield thing. Which was probably understandable. They'd reconciled eventually and decided to start afresh, but it had been hard-won and, essentially, rather short-lived.
And now, well, she has absolutely no idea where they stand. By the time Piper was released, their relationship (as things always were between the two of them) was more than a little complicated. Over two years had passed since Piper had left Litchfield and, showing her usual aversion to making solid plans, Alex had gently suggested at the time that they not make any promises.
It had stung at first, but Piper could hardly blame Alex for thinking that she would lose interest once she got out of prison. And so, they'd made arrangements. Or rather, they'd elected to make none at all. The rules were that there were (almost) no rules. There were to be no attempts at point-scoring, no dredging up the past, but also there were no promises not to see other people. After all, neither had really expected the other to 'wait', in spite of the fact that they had stayed in fairly regular contact from the moment Piper had been released.
In essence, they'd chatted a lot but their only other contact for over two years had been two brief, perfunctory hugs whenever Piper visited.
But, in truth, that hadn't meant that Piper had really dated anyone else. She'd actually enjoyed the long stretch of time on her own to figure things out. It was perhaps the first time in a long time she'd truly appreciated the freedom of being single. Prison had changed her, and as cliché as it sounded, she'd needed some time to figure out who she was. Just her. Piper. No-one else. Besides, it was just nice to not be surrounded by people twenty four-seven. Never had being alone been so appealing.
Not that her mother hadn't tried setting her up. All of her mother's suggested partners (men, exclusively) had been boring, narrow-minded, and terrifyingly one-dimensional. She'd gone to dinner with one or two, but the dates were always uninspiring, and she never called any of them back. In true Chapman style, she'd avoided the truth for a while, but it never left the back of her mind.
None of them were Alex.
Over the months since her release, Piper's heart had jumped more every time she answered the phone to hear that an inmate from Litchfield Federal Prison is attempting to contact you…, than during any of the get-to-know-you conversations she'd had over candlelit dinners.
But that didn't mean she knew the first thing about how Alex felt. Piper sometimes told her about the boring, often horrifyingly awkward and stilted dates her mother sent her on, but, in between her laughter, Alex had offered little personal information in return. She hadn't even been the one to bring up her plans for release. In the end, it had fallen to Piper to start that conversation. Alex didn't have a property to move straight into and she wasn't under the same protection as before, so she wasn't going to be put in an apartment like last time. But the prison requires an address for probation and so Piper had offered because she knew Alex wouldn't ask.
"You have to give them some address after all Al."
"Hi!"
"Hey, kid."
Her smile is all aching relief when she finally emerges, almost as though she hadn't really believed Piper would come. It makes Piper want to laugh, so she returns Alex's smile instead. They'd only spoken a few nights earlier on the phone, and Piper had very deliberately said 'see you soon' instead of 'goodbye'.
By some coincidence, Alex is wearing the same sweater she had on when she'd visited Piper to tell her she was skipping town. The fabric is just as soft as Piper remembers when they hug, and in spite of what is still one of Cal's favourite jokes, she forgets that someone isn't about to shout 'no touching' at them.
When they pull away, the air suddenly feels thick and heavy as there's a moment where Piper wants to kiss her. She even thinks for a second that Alex is about to lean in, but neither makes the move and the moment passes.
The atmosphere remains dense, but all the possibility and electricity has faded from it.
They walk up the path to the car park, snow crunching under their feet, and Piper realises that she has no idea what to say.
The whole drive home, Alex stares out the window, her body angled to save her neck from aching. It's not a rebuttal, Piper can tell, just a desire to take in their surroundings. Piper remembers the way she had needed to assure herself that all of this was real. She spent her first day of freedom half convinced it was all an elaborate practical joke, and she'd get a call the next day telling her she had to come back in.
Occasionally, Alex hums quietly to the song that's playing, which seems to suggest she's comfortable enough just to sit with Piper.
But a few minutes into the drive, Piper had deliberately turned the radio up a little too loud. It made the lack of conversation easier. It's harder to talk if you can't really hear what the other person is saying.
The silence between them isn't cold, but it isn't quite right either.
It remains awkward as she shows Alex into the apartment she'd moved into after Litchfield. So Piper bustles around as soon as the door closes behind them, showing Alex where to leave her bag, chattering needlessly about different quirks of the place. She wants to wince at how forced it all sounds.
Alex asks where the bathroom is, and Piper points her to the en suite through the bedroom.
Hesitantly, she calls after her. "I'm guessing you're no more in the mood to cook anything than I am. So I was thinking of ordering a pizza?"
Alex pauses on her way into the bedroom, and turns slowly to face Piper.
"Sure." She smiles her first genuine smile since she saw Piper standing in the reception. "You know what I like," she says quietly, and retreats to the bathroom without pausing for Piper to respond.
"Yeah, I do."
She has just hung up the phone and started making coffee when she hears Alex walk into the living room that adjoins her kitchen, but doesn't turn to look as she pours hot water into two mugs.
"It should be about half an hour."
"You know, there was no one else in prison," Alex says suddenly, as though they're mid-discussion. Her tone is casual but Piper knows her well enough to know it's forced.
Piper pauses, spoonful of sugar hovering above one of the steaming mugs. She takes a breath and tips the granules in.
"It doesn't matter if there was. We agreed." She keeps her back to Alex. It's easier to pretend she's not lying that way.
"Pipes." This time, Alex doesn't bother hiding the bite to her tone as she comes to stand at Piper's side. She leans into the doorframe and folds her arms across her chest before she speaks again, each of her movements deliberate and considered. "We both know it matters. And we both know my being here isn't remotely about me having a probation address. So, let's cut the crap." Piper almost wants to flinch at the steel in Alex's voice, and Alex must notice because her tone is softer when she concludes, "miscommunication has never done us any good in the past."
Perhaps because Piper can't deny this fact, or perhaps because, in a complicated and terrifying way, she genuinely wants to have this conversation, she nods, dragging her bottom lip between her teeth as she stirs milk into their coffees and turns to hand one to Alex.
They're standing closer than she'd anticipated and Piper's breath catches in her throat.
Alex takes a mug from her, pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her palms and wrapping her hands round the cup. For a moment neither of them speaks, and Alex blows on her coffee, clouding up her glasses.
"I mean it. I wouldn't have been interested, even if there had been anyone who'd wanted to offer. I know my record isn't great, given our first few encounters, but I've never lied about loving you." She makes a move as if she's about to shrug one shoulder, but then thinks better of it at the last moment.
Piper gives in to the temptation to grin. "I don't think you have to worry about me ever having been interested in any of those people my mom tried to set me up with."
This earns a laugh from Alex, just a slight chuckle, but it's enough to make Piper's stomach swoop. A voice in the back of her mind asks her if there's a single other person on earth who could make her feel like that with just the tiniest laugh. There isn't, and Piper thinks that that must count for something.
A few minutes pass before she realises Alex is probably waiting for her to say something. Her silence must come across as doubtful, rather than pensive, because Alex caves to the tension first, something she'd never have done once upon a time. "I know we've made a mess of things in the past. We've both fucked up. Some things would have to change, obviously. We'd both have to make an effort. But I'm…up for that. If you are."
The wording of the admission that she wants to give it a go is so painfully Alex that Piper suddenly has the need to discard everything she's ever felt before, just to make room for the emotion that begins to swell inside her chest at that moment. But still she's guarded, still a little afraid.
Somewhere deep down, she's still that kid who can't bring herself to jump off the school bus while it's moving, no matter how slowly.
"We want different things, Al. Have you thought about that? I'm not saying it's a problem, but it could be…"
This time, Alex does shrug. "The future's the future Pipes. I know it bothers you that I don't make plans. Your lack of desire to just free fall is kind of a thing with me. We'll meet in the middle. Actually discuss things, make certain kinds of plans, I guess. But it doesn't have to be now." Piper raises her eyebrows a little, wondering if this is an evasive move.
Almost instinctively, Alex moves closer, setting her coffee mug on the worktop. It clunks against the marble more heavily than intended. "Shit, I don't know Piper, I just don't think this needs to be a huge rush, that's all."
Piper has to concede that she has a point.
"Besides. What I want right now is you. Or us, I guess." Alex smirks, sliding her glasses onto her head and Piper can see that her eyes are gleaming playfully. "I heart you."
Piper sets her own mug down. Maybe it doesn't matter they want certain different things when their most basic desire right now is the same.
They pause for the briefest of moments, eyes roving each other's face. Neither is sure who leans in first, but when they kiss, it is far from gentle. Their lips are greedy, their tongues brazen, and they kiss each other hard and fast, like they're still in Litchfield. Like they're trying to hide. Like getting caught means punishment.
The doorbell rings, and the moment is dented. They jump apart like they've been burned. Piper can still feel the pressure and heat of Alex's lips on her own, and wonders if maybe she has been.
"I should, uh –" she moves off awkwardly, ignoring the hungry way Alex is looking at her, and grabs her purse on the way to the front door.
They switch the TV on and settle for watching an old Christmas movie that neither of them has any special interest in. They split the pizza and a bottle of wine Piper got in special, and then a beer. Neither has drunk in a while, and they hardly have the alcohol tolerance they did back when they were in their twenties, and drank champagne in fancy clubs all across the world, so they both quickly feel the effects of what little alcohol they've had.
They're leaning against each other, Alex's hand drifting absently through Piper's hair when Piper finally, finally thinks 'fuck it' and plucks up the courage to jump off the bus.
She leans over and kisses her, more forcefully than intended. Their teeth clack against each other and their lips crash together, but it doesn't take long before they remember just how easy this has always been between them, and Alex lays back along the length of the sofa, pulling Piper with her to settle between her legs.
They make out on the couch like teenagers until Alex sits up, pushing gently at Piper to get her to stand up, rising right behind her. Alex's hands skim firmly over the curve of Piper's ass, and she nips gently at her earlobe as she bends to whisper,
"Let's go," before dragging Piper into her own bedroom as if she's always lived in this apartment.
They shed clothes quickly, hands skimming over each other's bare skin, feverish and urgent, and when Alex lowers Piper onto the bed, it's almost strange how natural and normal it feels to have Alex lying, naked, between Piper's new sheets in her new(ish) home.
Alex's fingers drift almost naturally to the juncture between Piper's legs and, finding her slick and ready, press into her, the heel of her hand rubbing lightly – too damn lightly – against Piper's clit.
Piper's back arches upwards, and a rough, frustrated sound pushes its way out of her mouth.
Alex laughs to herself, low and teasing, and brings her mouth to Piper's breast, tongue trailing lazily across her skin, teeth grazing over her nipple. She moves eventually to lick a path between Piper's breasts, peppering scorching kisses across her ribs, and she withdraws her hand as she ducks lower, wiping her fingers disinterestedly on the bedsheet.
The look on Alex's face is positively carnal as she sucks at the soft skin of Piper's inner thighs, biting down to the point between pleasure and pain, before craning up to place one jarringly chaste kiss on the spot just below Piper's navel.
At last, Alex rests her forearms atop Piper's thighs, urging her legs further apart before she dips her tongue into her, and it takes Piper a moment to realise that they're not in prison anymore, and she doesn't have to be quiet.
They eventually fall asleep, sated and exhausted, at around 3am, and it is Piper who wakes up first later that morning, to the sensation of Alex's hair ticking her face.
It takes her a moment to process why she's not alone in her bed, but the panic that initially sets in subsides immediately, and the weight of Alex's leg, hooked over Piper's hip, is suddenly a pleasant one, rather than a source of concern.
There's something especially comforting in knowing that Alex still sleeps as she used to, face pressed into Piper's neck, an arm slung inelegantly across Piper's chest.
Piper lies still for a while, enjoying listening to the sound of Alex's steady breathing. She has no desire to sleep again despite feeling worn out from the night before and after an hour or so, she shifts get out of bed. She'd happily have stayed there all day, warm and cuddled next to Alex, but it's Christmas Eve and she has a lot she needs to sort out, so she slips out of bed quietly and heads into the bathroom to pee and brush her teeth.
Her family (outside of Cal and Neri) hadn't known she was still in contact with Alex and she doubts a quick 'hey guys this is my girlfriend Alex, the ex-drug dealer' on Christmas morning would be a sufficient explanation. Her mom probably wouldn't even want them to stay for Christmas. Plus she thinks as she heads back into the bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed, leaning down to kiss Alex awake, she doesn't even really know if they're at the 'girlfriend' stage again. But maybe something of Alex's presence is rubbing off already, because Piper thinks that both of those problems are things to worry about later. Maybe at a time when Alex isn't groaning and sleepily resisting Piper's attempts to rouse her, in a way that's somehow very endearing. Alex rolls onto her back, the covers falling down to her hips and, feeling daring, Piper senses an opportunity.
She moves to hover over Alex and bends over to drop a kiss to the corner of her mouth, before moving across her cheek and jaw, and down the column of her throat. Her hands move softly over Alex's breasts, stroking at her nipples, rolling them lightly between finger and thumb. Beneath her, Alex gives out a contented sigh, stretching her arms out above her head and mumbling something completely incoherent that makes Piper smile against her collarbone.
She moves downwards slowly, not wanting to shock Alex with a combination of her actions and waking for the first time in an unfamiliar setting. She lightly kisses every inch of available skin, mapping out every part of Alex's body for the umpteenth time, taking her time in a way they'd been too fast and feverish to do last night.
By the time Piper works all the way down Alex's torso, she is wakeful enough for Piper to be satisfied that she'd stop her if she wanted, and so Piper kisses in between Alex's legs, tongue swirling languidly, and Alex comes to herself fully a few moments later with a low cry that frays around the edges.
Soon enough, though, one of Alex's hands finds Piper's head, and her fingers swim so gently through her hair there's almost no pressure behind the movements at all. From her position Piper glances up to make sure Alex is fine with what's happening, and finds her watching her with a strange, tender expression on her face, her head now propped up underneath her free arm.
She's more than fine, or so it would seem, so Piper resumes her attentions in full until Alex's legs begin to shake. When she comes, she cries out just once, Piper's name rolling indulgently off her tongue. Alex recovers quickly, however, (always has done), watching as Piper wipes her mouth on the back of her hand.
"Merry fuckin' Christmas to me," Alex murmurs with a tight-lipped half smile, voice low and husky, eyes half-hooded. She'd always been almost painfully beautiful like this, naked and boneless beneath Piper, pale skin tinged pink with the flush of a desire that had been fulfilled.
Piper skims her hands across the plane of Alex's stomach as she drifts back up the bed, lips searching as she drops kisses behind her ear and around her jaw. After one last, light kiss at the corner of Alex's mouth, their lips find each other, their kisses slow and soft and languid. The kind of kisses that say we have all the time in the world.
After a moment, Piper smiles against Alex's lips, a little too pleased with herself.
"You should see what I've got saved up for New Year's."
Afterwards, under the hot spray of the shower, Alex backs Piper up against the tiles, their breasts pressed flush together, and slips a hand between her legs. Her fingers are firm and insistent, the rhythm relentless and unwavering.
Piper's legs fall further apart without any conscious thought, and she finds herself arching into Alex, winding her arms around her neck for balance.
They still know each other's bodies well, and it doesn't take long for Piper's orgasm to build under the rhythm Alex has set up, and though Piper wants to drop her head back against the wall and relax fully into it, Alex's eyes are stormy and intense and never once leave her own.
Their faces are close together thanks to their position, and it's heady and scorching and Piper cannot bear to look away. As Alex finally speeds up her movements, each of Piper's gasps comes out cracked and rough, punctuated by her senselessly whispering Alex's name over and over.
One last, firm sweep across her clit is all it takes and Piper is coming, vision singed white-hot at the edges.
Piper's eyes are swimming as she comes back to herself but, as she kisses Alex, she's not sure if it's from the shower, her orgasm, or something else entirely.
Piper's insistence that she try and get everything done before lunch so that they can spend the afternoon together doesn't stop Alex taking her again a short while later in the breakfast nook, and Piper is hardly an unwilling participant. Her fingers scrabble fruitlessly for purchase on the marble countertop as Alex's tongue flicks expertly against her, setting a rhythm that's significantly lazier – though no less effective – than before in the shower.
Alex rests her cheek against Piper's thigh as they wait for their breathing to even out, and she laughs when Piper jokes that they should probably put her back in prison for that.
The mood is light and full of levity, and, suddenly, it's back the way Piper always remembered it.
If there was ever a time when Piper had been slightly nervous about being out, that morning isn't it. She holds Alex's hand as they rush from place to place, picking out a few last minute presents for people who were difficult to buy for. Alex makes fun of her when she can't decide which colour scarf to add to the modest set of gifts for her mother, and then kisses her mock-angry pout away. They drink good coffee out of shitty paper cups, and buy sweet, sugar-frosted pastries from a food market.
They do finish everything before lunch, but stay out to eat, and Piper drags Alex into a second-hand bookstore on their way back to the bus stop. As Piper agonises over an expensive impulse purchase and Alex pretends to be impatient, Piper's cell phone rings. It's Lorna, who'd stayed in contact following her own release, and Piper leaves Alex to browse a while longer while she steps outside to take the call. Alex leaves the shop a few minutes later, slipping a brown bag into one of the now-full canvas ones Piper had packed before they left.
She takes Piper's hand again, and skims her thumb back and forth slowly and gently as they walk. Piper passes the phone over eventually, and she talks with Lorna until the bus comes.
Back at home, they don't speak about what Piper's now planning to do about Christmas Day itself, partly because Piper hasn't decided, and partly because she almost doesn't care. She doesn't especially care if taking Alex to her parents's house ruins Christmas, doesn't even really care if the two of them don't go anywhere at all. It really only matters that Alex is out of Litchfield - that they're both out of Litchfield - and that Alex had admitted via a slip of the tongue earlier that she thought of them as girlfriends. It gave Piper a sense of happiness and security, and that was almost all that mattered as they made dinner together later that night. That and the bragging rights that Alex had said it first.
And, in the end, what matters most of all is that she wakes up the next morning to Alex pressing an unexpected gift into her hands, kissing her cheek and whispering in her ear,
"Merry Christmas. I love you."