'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the guild,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a Shrimp.

Levy: That is not how it goes. It doesn't even rhyme!

Gajeel: Shush.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

Even though one was tiny and couldn't fit a lot.

Levy: Rhyme! At least rhyme!

The children were nestled, all snug in their beds,

Thoughts of new books running through their heads.

Levy: I am not a child!

Gajeel: But the book thing is true, right?

Levy: What else is there to think about?

And Mavis in her 'kerchief – the fuck that is – and Makarov in his cap,

Had just settled their brains for a long winter nap.

Levy: Don't swear. It's short for handkerchief.

Gajeel: How the hell do you wear a tissue?

Levy: I… just carry on.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

That the little Shrimp jumped out of bed, to see what was the matter.

Away to the window she flew like a flash,

Even though her legs were really short…ash.

Levy: You're not even trying.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

When what to her wondering eyes did appear,

But an enormous sleigh and eight massive dragon-deer,

Levy:

Gajeel: Shut your mouth, it rhymed. Just imagine them with antlers.

With a little old driver so lively and quick,

She knew in a moment he must be St. Nick – cuz my Shrimp's pretty smart.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Igneel! now, Metalicana! now Grandine and Weisslogia!

On, Skiadrum! on, Atlas Flame! on, Zirconis and Acnologia!

Levy: Really? Acnologia?

Gajeel: You have a rhyme for Weisslogia!? Huh?

Levy: …carry on.

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the housetop the coursers they flew

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—

And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

Levy: I thought they were dragons.

Gajeel: Dragons can have hooves.

Levy: But those eight don't. And 'prancing and pawing'? Could you even imagine them - Ow! You flicked my forehead!

As she drew in her head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His red eyes—how they twinkled! his piercings, how merry!

His muscles were like iron, this was one badass fairy!

Levy: That's actually adorable.

Gajeel: Grrr.

His awesome mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was fake, but white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;

Levy: You don't smoke.

Gajeel: I swear, if you interrupt me one more time…

Levy: How cute, you're threatening me!

Gajeel: You'll see.

He had a knife-like face and an iron hard abs

That shone when he laughed, because rhyme.

He was tall and cool, a right jolly old slayer,

And we all know that Salamander is much g…

Levy: Gajeel!

Gajeel: Gihi

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave her to know she had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

Levy: You're a jerk all right… ow!

For he still had a present in his iron-wrought hands,

And he handed it to the girl known for her headbands.

The little Shrimp's eyes opened wide with glee,

Wondering what Santa had bought for she.

With great speed, she began to unwrap the present and open the box,

But it was empty and with confusion she looked up at the Redfox.

He had leaned down so as she raised her head their lips did meet,

And her face flamed with fury, red as a beet.

Gajeel: *kiss*

Levy: *nosebleed*

And laying his finger aside of his pierced nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night, gihi!"

Levy: That was sweet… but you actually got me a present, right? Not just a kiss?

Gajeel: More books than you can carry, Shrimp.

Levy: Yay! *hugs*