Legend: Dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground.

Truth: Dwarves are born from a mother just like anyone else.

Legend: There are no female dwarves.

Truth: There are female dwarves, who also have beards.

Legend: Dwarves are very protective of their women.

Truth: Dw-…. Not actually, that one is true.

Legend: Female dwarves are rare.

Truth: …that is also true.

Legend: There is only one dwarrowdam to every two dwarves.

Truth: The ratio is much, much smaller.

Legend: Though dwarrowdams are rare, Erebor is a large kingdom and has many female dwarves.

Truth: There are not many female dwarves in Erebor. There are actually very few. Actually, there are only 50.

50 dwarrowdams in the entire mountain.

.

The BugSlaying Brigade Presents…

The 50 51 Dwarrowdams of Erebor

.

The dust-encased tome fell on the table with a thud, sending a small cloud of powder wafting into the still, hushed air of the library. Nora could not help but cough, waving a hand in front of her face to clear the air. Her large purple sleeve flopped on the end, once golden details glinting softly in the firelight. Huffing, the dwarrowdam pushed up her sleeves, and once her hand had been found again, she sat in front of the large tome and opened in, thin worn pages sliding from her fingertips as a random page was turned to. The ancient khuzdul runes were scrawled tightly across the page.

"What do you see in those things?" Nora smirked slightly as the familiar voice of her friend gently broke the silence of the endless archive. Ciri sat in a low, comfortable seat by one of the many crackling hearths in the library. Nora looked up briefly, brushing one of many black strands of hair out of her eyes.

"Words mostly." She chuckled. "Sometimes a picture or two."

"You're impossible." Ciri rolled her eyes, turning back to the stitching that lay in her lap.

"If you mean to ask what I like about them, then let me get back to you on that." Nora looked back down, turning the page gently as the rustle of dry pages drifted into her ears.

"Why? Can't think of anything?" Ciri smirked, her dark skin crinkling as she smiled. Nora glanced back up at her friend. The dwarrowdam's chestnut hair paired with her dark skin made Ciri rather unique. As if being a dwarrowdam wasn't unique enough.

"No, but I need time to compile a list." Nora replied happily. "Books are incredible. I could probably write a whole book on how remarkable books are."

"Knowing you, I wouldn't doubt it." Ciri rolled her eyes. Laughter twinkled in Nora's own green eyes before they flitted once more to the page in front of her.

"Oh save me from this willful beard!" she muttered under her breath, pushing the black poof of braids and hair off of the page and back to her chest.

"Poor wee lass!" Ciri chided playfully. "Defeated by her own beard!"

"Don't be sore. It isn't my fault you can't grow one." Nora turned another page. The passage she was looking for was around here somewhere.

"Excuse me?" The other raised an eyebrow. "What to you call these beauties?" Nora glance up again to see her friend stroking the smooth, brushed hair pulled around to the back of her head.

"Those are sideburns. Not a beard."

"Well it's close enough!" Ciri huffed angrily, letting out a curse as she poked herself accidently with her needle.

"Hush down a bit. We are in a library." Nora reminded her friend.

"GIVE THAT BACK YOU SNOT BRAINED TROLL!"

"Wonderful." Nora rolled her eyes as Ciri started up to see what the commotion was about.

"WHY? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO BE READING IT!"

"Oh nevermind," Ciri sighed, plopping back down in her seat. "It's just the squads at it again." Nora rolled her eyes. The two squads. There were only fifty dwarrowdams in the entire mountain. And only nineteen of them were of age, and unmarried. And seven of those nineteen were constantly at the throats of each other and everyone else in the mountain.

"WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT READING? YOU CAN'T EVEN DRESS YOURSELF IN THE MORNINGS WITHOUT HELP!"

"I CAN. BUT I, UNLIKE SOME, DON'T HAVE TO!"

"Just shut up already!" Nora hissed under her breath as the thunderously loud voices stomped closer.

"WELL AT LEAST I DIDN'T END UP FAT AND LAZY LIKE YOU!"

"SAYS YOU!" shadows danced over the page as Nora tried to read. She looked up to see who was blocking the firelight. It was Faina, leader of the prissy noble squad. Her perfected golden ringlets and braids tossed haughtily as she looked behind her, one hand raised in the air holding a slightly smaller tome above her head.

"SAYS EVERYBODY! THEY JUST WON'T SAY IT TOO YOUR FACE!" And there was the other one. Brilliant, fiery hair streaming behind her in a long braid, the Leader of the no good beggar squad stomped after the other. Teella Broadshoulder. Middle daughter of one of the largest families in Erebor. Also one of the poorest. Nora could not even begin to contemplate how all those children were fed. There were around twenty of them, only three being girls. Most of them just fended for themselves for the most part. Nora was incredibly grateful that Ciri's family had agreed to house her since she and her father had stopped talking. Since her mother…

"YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE SAY BEHIND YOUR BACK!" Faina screamed, the rest of the two squads rushed over, waiting anxiously for a fight to break out.

"DO YOUR WORST!" Teella matched her in volume. Nora pinched her temple, trying hard to fight her bubbling temper.

"YOU ASKED FOR IT YOU-"

"Stop. Now."

The library fell into silence again as an old whited haired dwarf thumped unhappily to stand in between the two squads of dwarrowdams.

"This," he looked at the two leaders. "Is a library. It is a place for learning and silence. Not for bullying," he looked at Faina, "or name-calling," he looked at Teella, "or any other type of arguing or noise. You are young ladies, and expect you to act as such. At all times. Which means you respect others, without being rude, or selfish, or vulgar. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Master Balin." The dwarrowdams answered together, heads hanging low.

"Good." He huffed. "I trust I will not have to talk to you about this again?"

"No, Master Balin." Came the reply.

"Excellent. Now on your way." The two squads filed out of the library in silence, though Nora knew it wouldn't last long. They were already throwing death glares at each other. "You too young ladies." Nora and Ciri looked up in surprise.

"But we weren't-" Balin fixed Ciri with a stern glare and she shut her mouth. Nora let out a sigh and stood, closing the book before her quietly.

"Come on Ciri, I'm not in the mood to study after that anyway." Her friend nodded and they both left the library in silence. As soon as the large library doors closed shut behind them, Ciri stomped the ground with one booted foot.

"That is so unfair!" she griped. "We didn't do anything! Just because we're girls doesn't mean we had something to do with that! Badgered old coot!" Nora agreed silently. The library was the only public place she could go without being ogled at the entire time. Why did she have to be a dwarrowdam?

She sighed and strode down the hall with no particular destination in mind, Ciri following after slowly. Their thudding boots echoed slightly off the stone walls, bouncing off in a comforting way. It reminded Nora that the mountain was always there, always surrounding her and protecting her. The echo was much nicer than it had been at the Blue Mountains where she had been born. She wished her mother had gotten to hear it again.

"Norarduwynn Firehide!" Nora froze in place. Hadn't lasted long at all. She turned to see Faina striding towards her and Ciri. Her three noble lackeys were following behind her smugly. Nora knew they had names. She knew they all had families and hopes and dreams, but when they were with Faina, they were just lackeys. Nothing more, nothing less. Void of all personal thought or guidance. And that was always dangerous.

"Faina." Nora said back, feeling Ciri tug even so slightly on her large purple sleeve. "Something I can help you with?"

"Yeah, you can tell me what stone giant sat on your face!" she snorted, waiting for a reaction. It didn't come.

"If that's all, I'll be going." Faina's smirk dropped away.

"You'll go when I say you can!" she hissed.

"I'll go whenever I want to." Nora replied, trying to keep her voice even. "And you have no right to stop me."

"We're really running late." Ciri cut in. "Please Faina, not today." Faina narrowed her eyes at the dark skinned girl.

"Late for what? You and this little scrap? What could you possibly do that would be important?"

"My coming of age will be in less than three months Faina." Nora gritted her teeth together. "Or do you not know how to count?"

"Yeah, in three months." The older girl rolled her eyes, leaning forward. "But right now you're still. a. kid." She sang tauntingly. Ciri kept Nora's tense arm firmly to her side. It was itching to punch the annoying idiot right in the face.

"What's going on here?" Everyone looked over to see another dwarrowdam walk out of a side passage. The library was unusually busy today.

"Oh look, her highness has decided to show her face!" Faina cried in amazement. The newest girl unconsciously tugged her curly black hair further down from her loose ponytail, attempting to hide the white scar running across the right side of her face.

"What's going on here Faina." The girl asked again. "Giving somebody unwanted trouble again?"

"What? Am I not allowed to talk to anyone?" Faina rolled her eyes. "Just because you've got the royal house wrapped around your finger doesn't mean you can control me, princess."

"Do not call me that." The girl hissed. "I am not a princess."

"Oh, forgive me, Lady Aría!" Faina gave a mock bow. "I forgot. You aren't actually married to Prince Kili yet."

"Stop spewing nonsense Faina."

"I'll stop, when you stop clinging to those princes like an elf to trees! And since we all know that'll never happen!" the three lackeys chortled. Nora grimaced. This wasn't her problem anymore. She left after Ciri down the hall again. But she could still hear their voices echo around the hallway. "Speaking of royalty, when are the princes coming back? It's been far too long."

"Like I would tell you." Aría snapped back. "If you want someone to bat your lashes at, there are plenty of dwarves in this mountain. Find someone that's not out of your league." And by then, it was too far away for Nora to hear the bickering Dwarrowdams.

The two friends walked down the long stone hall until it opened up into one of the many large path filled caverns. The maze of stairs and bridges crisscrossed, disappearing into the depths of the mountain. Dwarves of all ages and occupations traveled at one place or another, their voices echoing through the stone. And in the distance, one could hear the sound of thousands of hammers striking stone and metal. The mines and forges banging away dutifully beneath the mountain. The peaceful din barely disturbed as the poor squad dashed down one of the paths, knocking into a pair of elderly dwarves. The leader, Teella, let out a small cackle as she held up the stolen bag triumphantly before the three miscreants disappeared down one of the many staircases, a flaming red braid disappearing with them.

Further down from the library on the other side of the noble and royal courts, deeper in the mountain, the clash of metal upon metal sounded through another large open cavern.

"Good! Good now come at me again!" The trembling little dwarf lad picked up his iron sword again and charged at his partner. A large heavy battle-axe came swinging down behind him, sending the sword flying out of his hands. "Too predictable. Try to change things up once in awhile laddie!" The gruff voice suggested, hefting the large axe on one shoulder before peering down from a bushy ginger mane, covered in braids and beads.

"Sorry Miss Alphonse." The young lad drooped walking wearily to pick up his weapon once again from the sandy floor of the training hall.

"Nay lad. That's enough for today. Go scrub yourself off." The dwarf did not need to be told twice. Alphonse chuckled to her self quietly before she walked over to the bench and grabbed a cloth and wiped the slight sheen of sweat off her forehead.

"Good fighting today." Alphonse turned to see Dwalin walking up to her, the king not far behind. "As always." The she dwarf nodded in thanks.

"Just taking over lessons for my cousin while he's out." The big bearded dwarrowdam nodded.

"I'm sure Gimli appreciates it." King Thorin agreed, having to look up slightly to talk to the Dwarrowdam. The king still found it hard to believe that a Dwarrowdam Fili's age could be as tall, and muscular, as Dwalin.

"I'm sure he does my lord." Alphonse agreed, grinning from beneath her bushy ginger beard.

"Dwalin tells me that you are a skilled warrior. We must spar sometime." The King suggested conversationally.

"It would be an honor milord!" the dwarrowdam nodded. "But now I must be off!" she said, hefting the axe onto her shoulder again.

"Leaving so early?" Dwalin raised an eyebrow.

"Aye, been testing out this fine weapon here for my friend." Alphonse glanced at the heavy battle-axe. "Alyssa Ironheart, I'm sure you've heard of the lass."

"Most likely." Dwalin nodded. "Works in the forges?"

"That's the one." Alphonse grinned.

"How's her work?"

"Exceptional. Though this one here seems a little off balance. Probably an easy fix." She contemplated the weapon, weighing it in her hand for a moment before remembering herself and turning back to the dwarf lords. "Well, as I said, I must be off. Good day to you!" the other two bid her farewell and watched the muscular dwarrowdam leave the training hall through one of many doors.

"Quite the lass." Thorin shook his head, chuckling.

"Aye." Dwalin nodded. "One of the best fighters in Erebor."

"Currently. I'm sure Gimli will give provide a good challenge once he gets back. Must be in their blood."

"Since you mention blood," Dwalin turned to the king. "I wanted to discuss the five you sent out for the envoy."

"What about them?" Thorin growled.

"Fili and Kili? You're just asking for trouble Thorin." The king gave his friend a harsh glare. "And not under the best of supervision either. Bofur and Nori? You couldn't spare anyone else?"

"No… I couldn't. But Gloin's son will keep them all in line." Dwalin could only shoot a disbelieving glance at the king. "Besides, Fili and Kili deserve a break for once. I've been working them to death the past few months and Dis finally took notice."

"Gave you a stern talking to no doubt." Dwalin chuckled. Thorin just let out a weary sigh. "Well, I guess they do deserve a break every now and then. They can't mess up too much in week, can they?"

...

"It's nice to get out again!" Fili sighed contentedly as he dropped into the tall wooden chair.

"Kili, be a lad and get the drinks, will you?" Bofur said as he and Nori took the seats opposite. The dark haired nodded dragging Gimli with him to the crowded bar. The tavern was dark and noisy, and the air reeked. But the dwarves could care less at the moment. They just needed some place to relax.

"The envoy made good time." Nori remarked glancing around discreetly. "Got to Edoras a few days ahead of schedule. But between you and me, I'm not too keen on these horse folk."

"Oh, they aren't too bad." Bofur shrugged, smiling calmly. "Just a bit equine."

"Well, I was thinking," Fili started, trying hard to mask his eagerness. "Since we got here so quickly, why don't we spend some time here? They won't be expecting us back for over a week still."

"I don't know bout that." Bofur frowned. "Thorin told us to return quickly."

"He doesn't have to know." Fili shrugged.

"Sounds good to me." Nori agreed quickly. Bofur still seemed hesitant when Kili and Gimli made their way back over laden with five wooden mugs, which Kili slid easily across the table.

"You all won't believe what we heard!" Kili beamed, his eye open wide with excitement.

"Tis nothin' special." Gimli groused, plopping down heavily in his own seat.

"Well, what is it?" Nori asked impatiently. Kili bounced ever so slightly making Fili smile. His little brother may try mightily to act all grown up and sophisticated, but at heart he was very much the same young lad Fili had grown up beside.

"There's a group of travelling performers in Edoras." Kili grinned broadly. "Performers! They're setting up outside town today and it's open to the public tomorrow."

"Admittance is free." Gimli couldn't help but add.

"Well that is somethin' special." Bofur nodded. "Oh all right," he relented at last. "We'll stay one day more for the event then we're heading home."

"Aye!" Fili smiled with relief. "That sounds fair."

"To impeccable timing!" Kili grinned, raising his mug in a toast.

"To impeccable timing!" the others echoed, mirroring the young prince's actions. And they drained the mugs dry.

Welcome the the end of the first chapter of "The 51 Dwarrowdams of Erebor". This chapter was more setting the stage, but I hope enough happened in it to be interesting.

Special Thanks to: Luckygirl1013, Dragon flam, Optimistic Pessimist that I am, SakuraDragomir, and Brooke Witwicky-TransformerFan. They all made a character for this story and it would have never happened without them! I apologize if your character didn't make it into the first chapter. Though, I fear I introduced too many characters to quickly already!

Disclaimer: This entire story is not mine. It is based off the brilliant ideas of Sir J.R.R. Tolkien, Peter Jackson, Those who worked it the films and the actors, and the aforementioned aspiring writers. I hold no rights or anything to it. Even the words are not my control, my fingers just type it. But you knew all of that already.

Please, please review. You have no idea how much they mean to me. The good and the bad.

Next chapter we'll get to meet Dwarrowdam #51! Fun fun!