"I hope I haven't kept you waiting long"
That was what Korra planned to say when she saw Asami. As she walked down the stairs she saw her standing at the doorway, waiting patiently, and saw her smile at her. She could feel her cheeks reddening a little and she lost her composure. It was Asami who spoke first.
"Hey Korra!", she said with a smile.
"Uh, Hey! Asami. I hope you haven't been keeping me long. I mean I hope I haven't kept you waiting long". Now she was really done for. She knew exactly how stupid she just sounded.
"Wow, up too early, Avatar? It's ok, I wasn't waiting long. What did Bolin want?"
Korra then explained what Bolin had just told her. At the end of her story, Asami hugged her, saying, "that was very sweet of him. You know we all feel that way about you Korra. You bring change to the world and to the people around you."
Korra smiled and tugged on her hair. "Thanks," she said sheepishly. "I was already in a pretty introspective mood today, and Bolin really started getting me thinking. But what did you want to talk about?" She decided to deflect her thoughts and defer the conversation to Asami. She wasn't ready to put forward her feelings in words because she still didn't understand what they meant.
"Oh, uh, well, I wanted to talk about…I was hoping…I mean…" Asami trailed off, seemingly unsure about her words.
"I swear I had something for this," she said after her awkward pause, and the two of them laughed. Korra was quite certain she wanted to talk about their plans for their trip, and could tell Asami was feeling somewhat nervous.
"Want to go for a walk?" Korra ventured. She realized that as she invited Asami, she could feel her heart pounding and she once again felt that strange feeling from this morning.
"I'd like that", Asami replied.
While they walked along the island, Korra and Asami didn't speak at first. Korra felt nervous. She knew something was amiss, that the same nagging suspicion from before was once again at work, and it filled the space between the two women with a strong sense of awkwardness.
"Korra, I've…been thinking. About our talk from yesterday", Asami said all of a sudden. The two stopped and turned to face each other.
"I don't know how really to say or talk about this…" Asami continued. Korra became scared. Maybe Asami didn't want to go on the trip after all? Maybe Asami could sense this same feeling, this same something she couldn't put her finger on, that had kept her awake the previous night.
"If you don't want to go on our trip, I totally understand and that's completely alright" Korra blurted out nervously. Asami looked up somewhat puzzled.
"No, it's not that Korra. I'm really looking forward to going with you. I really want to spend some time with you. It's just…
Do you…how do I say something like this…
do you…you know, have this feeling?"
Korra and Asami looked at each other. The air was pulled taut between them. Not a sound emerged from the world around them, it seemed, as if some cosmic energy was funneling the spirit of that moment directly into their conversation. Korra felt this silence. It probably only lasted a second or two, but her mind raced as thoughts darted in her head, and as she processed the words Asami had said.
Then, a smile grew on Korra's face, and she took a deep breath.
"Asami, I didn't sleep very well last night, if that answers your question."
Asami looked at her and tried to understand what she meant. Then she smiled as it became clear. Korra spoke again:
"This morning, I did a lot of thinking. I thought about these last few years and of all the people in my life that have taken me to where I am today, right now. I thought about Kuvira and Mako and Bolin and Tenzin, and when I got to thinking about you…"
Korra stopped and nervously grabbed her arm. She didn't know how to phrase the next part of the story. She didn't know how to put into words the intangible thing she felt this morning. To her surprise, Asami picked up where she left off,
"when I thought about our conversation last night, and about our trip together, I felt…nervous. But not because I didn't want to go on the trip! I felt nervous because of how much I want this. And how much I value you. And…I don't know, Korra. I just have this sense that maybe…"
The two looked up at each other and Korra finished her sentence:
"Maybe there's something more here?"
Asami's eyes were all the confirmation Korra needed. The words that had been spoken did not really say what the two felt, but they were enough. The light of the first star in the sky foretells the coming of nighttime, and signals the transition between one phase of the day to the next. In a similar way, the words that Korra and Asami struggled to say alone, when placed together, signaled to the other that the feeling, the something that stuck to the back of their minds last night, was real. It was real and it was shared. Asami reached out and held Korra's hand, and both could feel the warmth of the other.
At this very moment, Korra and Asami knew the reality of this feeling. It was new and scary, it was foreign and uncharted, but it was theirs to share and cultivate. The looked at each other's eyes.
"Asami…"
"Korra…"
"…I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. I'm scared," Korra said quietly.
"Me too, Korra. But we have each other. Think about what Bolin said. You change people's lives. You've made me so much happier. I've never been more proud to know and care for someone than I have with you."
"Asami," Korra responded, "I was in a really bad place when I left Republic City, but I had to write to you. I couldn't explain it well to Mako, but I had this feeling, and I couldn't just ignore it. And hearing you say this, and after what Bolin told me this morning," The Avatar paused.
I'm not running away from this. Whatever it is we're feeling right now, I want it more than anything, she thought to herself.
Korra finished her thought,
"I want this, Asami. I…
I want to go on one last adventure. With you. Will you join me?"
Asami squeezed her hand:
"of course I will."
Hands clasped, they moved closer to each other, until their noses rested together and they stood together as one. Without speaking, they knew that this was as far as they could go, for now, while they continued to unravel the complexity of their hearts and learn more about themselves and their connection. There was a warmth and calmness to it all. They stood for a long time together.
When finally they pulled apart, Asami looked into Korra. For the Avatar, it was the look of a real thing made unspoken. Their friendship was strong and deep. They had run across the world together, staked out shady rooms in deserts together. When Korra could sink no further into herself, Asami remained close and tried with all her might to keep Korra afloat. Korra saw, in the eyes of the beautiful person standing in front of her, a look she had seen many times before. Its familiarity helped her accept and ease into the feeling inside which fluttered about as the two of them gazed at each other.
That night, they packed their bags and met in front of the spirit portal. Together they knew that the journey, like their hearts, would be full of surprises. They knew they could not predict what would happen in the future, but at the very least, they had their feelings as a guide, and most certainly the heart is the best guide one can have in life.
They say a lot of things about the Avatar. The Avatar acts as a bridge between the material and the spiritual. The Avatar is the person who maintains the balance of the world, and works towards achieving peace between people. But I know the real strength of the Avatar. The story of the Avatar is a story of love. It is a story of how a person can balance herself, and in doing so, balance the world she is a part of. It is a story which reminds us that we are strongest when we can foster and nurture love in all of its forms.
If she wanted, the Avatar could bend the world down to its knees. Gifted with the mastery and absolute control of the elements themselves, the Avatar could be a force of dominance. But this is not true power. The Avatar is, indeed, the most powerful person in the world. But she draws her power from something more.
In bending all four elements, the Avatar must learn to love each nation and all of the people within, for they together make up her strength. She is a tapestry which shows the beautiful colors of the totality of love, in all its manifestations, amongst all people. She must, more than anything, train herself to be a master of the unspoken word and the perceptive ear and the unjudging eye, for only then can she understand all of the myriad pieces which make her whole. Only then can she truly call upon the will of earth, the breath of fire, the connection of water, and the liberation of air. Only then does the Avatar become the greatest force for good in our world and in our stories. Only through love does the Avatar find strength and become the living manifestation of the highest goals and principles our world can hope to achieve.
As Korra held Asami in the glow of the portal, she felt that feeling once again inside of her heart, and she saw that it made her whole.