A/N: This story was in my collection 'Coming Attractions'. Reviewers asked that I rewrite it and make it a story without flash backs. So, this is the first chapter of the rewrite.

As always, it is an honor to create a world in JKR's reality.

Hermione Granger had never in her 17 years felt such a combination of shame, anger at herself, confusion and despair. In the three hours since the Hogwarts Express had left Hogsmeade Station, following the funeral of Albus Dumbledore, she had been in deep thought, occasionally shedding unnoticed tears and writing steadily in a leather bound journal.

Finally, she sighed, thinking to herself. It's time to bite the bullet. I only hope he'll listen to me. I could hardly blame him if he doesn't. He was right in everything, I was wrong in everything.

Looking around her compartment, she saw the only person who had been willing to sit with her, Luna Lovegood.

"Luna, I know I've no right to ask you to do this, but would you please find Harry's compartment and then bring me there? I have to at least try to make amends for my behavior this year."

The younger girl put down her copy of the Quibbler. and considered Hermione. Gone was the dreamy eyed 'Looney' persona. Her gaze was sharp, penetrating and, if not hostile, at the least exceedingly impersonal, almost as if Hermione was an unexpected variety of a familiar insect. "You are asking me for a great deal, Hermione. You and Draco Malfoy have been competing all year for the 'I like Harry the least' title, so why do you think I'd help you? And whyever would you think he'll listen to you if I bring him to you?"

Hermione winced almost imperceptibly, wishing it weren't so, but resigned to the fact she was at the bottom of a deep hole she herself had dug. "I can't dispute any of that Luna. I feel so much shame now at the way I've behaved this year. I pushed Harry away all year and yet when I kept falling apart emotionally, he'd be there for me, hugging me, soothing me, bringing back a little sanity to my world. But why then did I start acting badly towards Harry again? I don't know. I can't figure it out. I think I'm afraid, that I'll learn something about myself I don't want to know. But what I'm sure of is that I've hurt the best friend, the best person I've ever known and if I don't talk to him now, today, it will never be mended. I know that it can't ever go back as if it never had happened, but it can be repaired, so our friendship continues and maybe even be strengthened."

Luna continued to gaze at Hermione; then her eyes lost focus, became dreamy again, then returned to disconcertingly focused. Hermione absently thought of a computer, suspending its interface to complete an analysis, then bringing the interface up again. She wondered if that was how Luna was, and whether she did that as a defense, or for some other reason, or in some sort of combination.

Luna finally spoke. "I can see that the Wrackspurts finally have been chased away by the Nargles and the Brainflitters. You haven't thought this clearly since the Department of Mysteries battle, a year ago. You know, Harry and you are the same in one important thing; you both have in yourselves all the qualities the Founders valued, and in Sortable amounts.

"We all know about your courage, and in you particularly, Miss Granger, that love of learning and wit so valued by Ravenclaw. Harry is not so far behind in that as many think. I suspect something happened to him to hide that light, but it does come out in stress and maybe someday, it can be brought out to stand on its own. You both have loyalty that would shame a Hufflepuff by comparison. Yours has faltered, but I see your determination to not allow it to reoccur. Finally, you've both got a lot of the positive qualities of Slytherin, the ambition to plan great things and the cleverness to make the ambitions happen, all without any of the bigotry that mars that House.

"I can see your sincerity and so I'll do as you ask. One thing I don't understand. Why isn't Ronald sitting with you?"

Hermione sighed. "We ended it the night Dumbledore died. We had a long talk and we both agreed that we were fine as best friends but that we weren't really romantically compatible. Ron admitted that he was much more interested in Lavender and it felt right to him when he was with her."

Luna nodded, looking interested. "Do you think your were compensating for being distant with Harry?"

"You may have a point. I've thought at times I would not be such good friends with Ron were it not for Harry. I may have reversed that this year." She gave a deep, frustrated sigh. "That makes about 169 things I still don't understand about this year."

"I'll find his compartment. He's likely to have some friends with him. How do you want me to handle that?" Luna wanted to see ust how far the other girl was willing to go to make amends.

Hermione sighed. "I didn't mind insulting him in public, I can apologize the same way."

"OK. I'll be back soon," said Luna as she left.

Hermione sat pondering. To really do this properly, she'd have needed to book the Great Hall. But this would have to do. Sooner than she expected, the door reopened. To her surprise, Harry had accompanied Luna to the compartment. Harry entered, while Luna stayed in the corridor.

Harry stood stiffly. "Luna said you wished to see me." While not friendly, his voice was definitely not hate filled. If anything, she could see sadness, wariness, and more than a bit of defensiveness and fear in his eyes. He kept his tone very neutral and even.

Hermione just managed to keep from crying, seeing how badly she had hurt him. "Harry, I have treated you horribly this year. It was needless and pointless on my part. I don't know who was in my body saying those things, but now I can barely comprehend that it was me. I got angry at the most trivial things. Why we didn't spend hours going over your copy of that Potions book, I don't know. That's what we'd have done any other year, and why I acted differently this year..."

Harry interrupted. "'Mione, it is OK to call you that again?" Receiving a nod, he continued. "There's no need to apologize. I wished you hadn't gone on about it, but no book is more important than our friendship. That's why we tossed it."

"No Harry! It isn't just about that book!" Hermione didn't want them to get sidtracked on a symptom. "I didn't believe you about that yes, but I didn't believe you about Malfoy or anything else you said. And everything you said that I ignored or belittled turned out to be right!

"But yet, any time I needed a friend, you were there to comfort me, and to help me feel better. I repaid you by acting as terribly towards you as I did before, after my crisis passed. I have to say that you would have every right to end our friendship here and now." There, she had said it. She resisted bowing her head; if Harry Potter wanted to be shot of her, the least she could do was to look him in the eye when he told her.

"'Mione, is that what you wish me to do?"

"No Harry, I wish to stand at your side, to help solve your problems and to fight your battles, even if it might mean I die while doing so. I want to do this for as long as you will permit it, but you can't do this unless you can trust me.

"Now, by my count, I owe three Life Debts to you; our first year with the Troll, our third year with the Dementors, and the night before last when you gave me a portion of Felix Felicis and again faced death. If you had had that dose, you would have not had so terrible a time, and maybe could have saved Dumbledore's life.

"So Harry, I am freely acknowledging my Life Debts, and I ask you to use them to bind me to you. I don't care what role you choose, so long as I can be at your right hand. Please do this, Harry. You have to be sure you can trust me not to leave you again."

Harry stood as if frozen, eyes wide and astonished, looking at her as if she'd sprouted a second head. He had no other expression. He might have stood like that for but a few minutes. To her, it seemed much longer. She began to despair. She had put all her cards on the table. If he rejected them, she had no place to go.

She felt herself starting to circle the drain; then she saw his eyes. They weren't angry or hate-filled, but full of compassion and concern for her, for her feelings. Then he did something he so rarely did and initiated a hug. She leaned into the hug, drawing comfort from the feeling of being forgiven. Seconds later, she was sitting on the bench, Harry next to her, still holding her, both of his hands holding hers.

"'Mione, you don't have to beat yourself up like this. I have never thought of you as anything other than my best friend. I trust and depend on you above everyone else I've ever known, including Dumbledore."

"But Harry, how can you say that when I've been so horrible to you..."

"'Mione, please. I know I'm not the most easy person to be a friend with. It is filled with a lot of stress, particularly for a person like you, someone who thinks and feels, who believes in things passionately and acts on those beliefs. That is what makes Ron a different friend to me than you are. But, this also makes you the friend I need most.

"What I think is you tried to take, a Sa-Sa- Sabbatical year. And yet I didn't let you alone. I understand your need," Harry chuckled ruefully. "Hell, I'd like a Sabbatical year from being Harry Potter if I could! But I always believed in you, always believed you would want my friendship again. I'm not calling in Life Debts, whether it is 1 or 3 or 100. I would never ever call in a debt unless it was for your own benefit."

Hermione stared at him, disbelievingly. How could he who have such faith, after last year? "But Harry, I think you trust me too much. What if I fail?"

"Hermione, first of all, you are Hermione Granger. 'Failing...'". Here, Harry made the hand signs for air quotes. "...is not in your vocabulary. Second, you are too stubborn to admit defeat and always come out on top! Lastly, I'm too stubborn to give up on you. Unless you show me the Dark Mark on your arm and fire off an Avada Kedavra, you can't stop me from being your friend.

"You know I'm awful at talking about feelings. I guess my years at the Dursleys make me like that. I didn't know what friendship was or how it felt. Not until I got to Hogwarts and met you and Ron and Neville and some others. But mainly you, I think. I'm still not sure about feelings. But I do know that the best thing to happen to me in my life was to become and remain your friend."

Hermione felt all her walls fall, felt all her defensive reserves melt away, as she launched herself into Harry's arms giving him comfort, receiving comfort in return. She knew their friendship was mended and was strong, and would only become stronger.

When the long hug was over, she looked at Harry and said in a slightly shaky voice, "Harry, you talk about feelings just fine. I'm glad to know I am still your friend. I want you to know a couple of things. I still don't know why I did what I did, but when I know, so will you. I'd like your help with this. Here is a journal. I have a twin to it. You can use it as a private journal, or you can have what you write transmitted to me and the reverse. When you get home, you'll find my thoughts, written before we talked. By your seventeenth birthday, I hope we'll both know."

"I would like that too, 'Mione. Now, let's sit down and enjoy the rest of the trip to London."

Hermione readily agreed. They got Luna and Neville to join them and spoke of inconsequential and fun topics; just four teens, seemingly without a care in the world.

A/N: First, a big shout out to texan-muggle, my Beta. He keeps me on the straight and narrow. Any additional goofs are on my dime.

The idea of transmitting journals comes from Bobmin356 and the story The Power of the Press. That is also the story recommendation for this chapter.

Once more, thanks to all you who read my efforts. Visitors, hits, reviews, follows, favorites, C2s are my only payment. Believe me, they make me feel rich!

Posted: 12/23/14

Reposted: 03/02/2015
Word: 2,240