The New Year Is As Old As Expected

Entry 002

Ah, the holidays. What a blissful atmosphere of childish innocence and hope. Love even, with the holidays coming 'round, surely there were some fools thinking that way. For what reason, I may never know, but around this time of year there was no end to the constant romanticizing. Why did so many stories depict the holidays to be positive? In a rosy way? Why was it?

I've certainly never experienced it in a positive light. They're definitely a curse that we've been pushed into accepting, and have grown used to over the years.

Take a look at the marketing, for example. All that press, all the non-stop ads and little things prodding and nudging viewers to buy some godforsaken holiday product. "It's XX% off!" They would announce. "But oh!" They might add on. "You need three! It's that important! Thankfully, with our new sale…"

Why not save money by not buying into the holiday fad? It's a bandwagon, I swear it, and I'm not hopping on the train. It'd be so much more convenient if more people followed my policy of not celebrating the holidays'. I mean, it'd save others thousands in decorations, parties, gifts, you name it. People go all out 'for the holidays', despite there really being no need. What exactly do they like about this time of year?

If you think about it, the holidays mean another year has passed since the last. Yes the tautology may not have been necessary, but that point is important nonetheless. Are we celebrating our aging? The slow disappearance of our youth, the tedious deterioration of our bodies? Are we partying over our lost innocence, over the fact that we know that that old stalker 'Santa' doesn't exist? For all the reasons we celebrate the holiday season, the 'New Year' seems to be a pretty big one on the list.

But why is that? Is it because of the belief "I can change"? The thought that your current path and pace aren't set in stone and that, by the wonder of changing your calendar, you can suddenly be motivated into changing and becoming something more?

Sorry to all the naïve little grown-ups out there, but here's something to burst your bubble: this day, these weeks that many spend partying and rejoicing, they don't have meaning because they are inherently important, but rather they have meaning because someone decided they should.

Remember who introduced you to the custom of celebrating this day? I don't, but surely some of you riajuu do. Parents, family, friends, the list of unaware victims goes on. We place value in this because other people do, but isn't that just trying to meet the standards of others?

In the end, the holiday season is about reaffirming one's own worth by placing your faith, hard earned money, and time into this belief. The belief that the holidays mean something. To believe in Christmas or the New Year, maybe even the idea of 'renewal'. The belief that these things mean anything, anything at all.

Someday this belief will be shattered. One day, the masses will come to realize that these traditions, this faith, these beliefs, one day they will mean nothing. And so I will wait, forever if I must, for that time. Only then when I will be able to browse through my procrastination material without seeing any holiday ads.

…

I flick through my files, reading over my journal. Wow, my latest entry made it sound like I didn't like Christmas! Who would've thought! Then again, it's completely, a hundred percent, my opinion on the matter. No doubt about it.

I grimace, thinking back to some older memories. Was this why people used to call me a 'Grinch'? What was that anyway? Some American thing? That foreigner always got so touchy everytime I argued with him.

I had quickly learned to associate negative memories with the holidays. Nothing good came out of mass-marketing techniques, and the tradition of buying things for other people. World, can't you tell I'm saving up for something? Why did you pressure me into throwing all my savings away into things for people?

Ugh, all that aside, with the end of the holidays and more importantly, our event being taken down, I could finally take a break. Ironic, isn't it? The moment the 'break' is over, I get my break. The time when most people take up their work once more is when I get to drop mine.

Cursed real-lifers. Why don't you just screw around with our trashy production in your work hours? Then I can take a break when other people take breaks. Maybe I'll even enjoy Christmas. Ha, that's funny. What a joke. I should become a stand-up comedian.

On the previous note, I had come to realize something. I didn't know whether something would still be called a Christmas present if it were weeks late. Is it still related to Christmas, or is it just 'some gift'? I was told that I'd fail my kids as a parent if I didn't get them something marvelous. Then again, I was told lots of things by advertising, and it's not like any of them mattered. Right, I shouldn't care for that. It was just a ploy for money.

What did the kids think of me anyway? I was never around these days, and even when we lived in the same house I was busy for most of the day. I interacted with my kids almost like how I was with my team at work, except I knew their names. We hardly talked about anything.

Only a few hours, and I'd find out, I suppose. My first visit back since taking up residence in my little apartment. Maybe the kids would have something to say to me. Or, I hoped so anyway.

Ah, a delay, I'd be home after lunch it seemed. I'd have to buy it somewhere. Get a MAX coffee too, the lack of MAX around my apartment was a true tragedy. I'd have to stock up.

Hachiman. Komachi. I wonder how much you've grown.

Alright so, I edited the first chapter slightly, and I'd like to say something now. If it's not obvious by the ending of this chapter, the Hikigaya who the story centers on is Hachiman's father, not Hachiman. I've gotten one reviewer that has mixed that up.

Also, this fanfiction takes place in a slightly altered universe, in which Hachiman's father has taken up another home, like a divorce, but still married. Hikigaya's too lazy to visit more often due to the commute time, to explain why he doesn't drop by more often. The next one'll be longer, I promise. Er, I'm pretty sure it'll be, at least.

And fanfiction, why, just why do you change the formatting from word into html and css. I had to copy/paste everything to notepad and copy/paste again to here, then add the italics and bold.