Chapter 36

"I cannot believe believe you didn't say a word."

Jesse lifted his head and turned to face Cassie sitting next to him. They were sitting side by side on an old pew, shoved against the far wall. Cassie had kicked off her shoes, her veil askew and her bouquet of white roses tossed unceremoniously to one side. They had been talking. For the last half hour since Cassie had barged into the room demanding answers, they had been talking.

Faced with Cassie's fury, Jesse realised one thing.

He had nothing to lose.

Not anymore. Beca was gone and it was about time he owned up what abject failure he was. So Jesse finally told the truth. And once he started, all of it came pouring out. He spoke until his voice was hoarse. He told Cassie everything - the moment he met Beca, the way they danced around each other, his poor attempt at getting rid of that raw sexual tension between them by suggesting a no strings attached affair only to fall hopelessly in love.

Jesse finally petered to a stop when he exhausted everything and a heavy silence hung between him and Cassie. The enormity of what was happening behind her back had shut Cassie up and rendered her speechless. It was some time before she spoke up.

"I cannot believe this," Cassie whispered in shock. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I'm a fuck-up," Jesse answered with a grim smile. "That's why."

"This is not a joke," Cassie scolded him back. "This has been going for months?"

"Yes," Jesse croaked the answer out, his eyes returning to the spot on the floor in front of him. It was easier to focus on that worn bit of floor and avoid Cassie's eyes. "It took me some time to finally admit what was actually happening," he continued before shaking his head slowly. "God, I was so stupid."

Cassie's sigh was laden with despair.

"I thought it was weird -" she said. "You weren't going out with anyone - I mean you used to have a different girl every other week -"

"Yeah. I know what I was like."

"I just thought you were just keeping your girls on the down low. With all that is happening with H&H and what we've planned -"

"Beca and I did agree to keep things quiet," Jesse replied. He broke off, rubbing his face hard. He was thinking of all the half truths he fed to Beca. "The lies I told her. I wish I could take everything back."

Cassie was staring at Jesse's profile. She had known him a long time. Her best friend was a player and truthfully, she had been worried about him. Jesse likes to love them and leave them. He was not into long term relationship. Hearing this whole story really shook what she thought she knew about her best friend.

"You really love her, don't you?"

Jesse considered her question and a sad smile slowly tugged on the corners of his mouth.

"I do," he confessed. "I don't want anyone else, Cass. I never felt happier than when I am with her and now, I just feel so empty. I don't know - I just wanted to protect her and love her and give her everything she deserves. But all I seem to do is to hurt her."

Cassie's eyes widened.

"I can't believe this," she fretted. "You fell in love? You fell in love and I didn't even know? Me! Your best friend! I've always wanted something like this to happen to you. I always thought how great it would be if you could find someone who make you this happy. It finally happened right under my nose and I didn't even realised."

"Don't blame yourself," Jesse replied. "You had a lot on your mind."

"I always did like Beca," Cassie added wistfully. "That girl has balls."

"Yeah she does," Jesse smiled. "Cass, I know Aubrey thinks Beca's going to gatecrash the wedding but she's not going to do that. She's not that kind. She has every right to be hurt at the way I treated her but I don't think Beca would do anything as vengeful as had plenty of chances to blow this up and yet she didn't."

"I believe you," Cassie nodded.

She stared at the expression on Jesse's face. The sadness tinged around his eyes, the downturn tilt on his mouth, the way his shoulders slumped like the weight of the world were on them.

"You went to see her just now, didn't you?" Cassie said knowingly. "Was that why you were late?"

Jesse forced another smile and then turned away, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"Yeah, I did," he confessed. "She didn't want to see me."

"So it's over?"

The heartbreak was clear on his face.

"Between me and Beca? Yeah, it's over" Jesse sighed. "Why wouldn't it be over? I wasn't honest in the relationship. I was stupid and I treated her like her feelings didn't matter. To top it all off, I am going to be a married man with a baby on the way. I would have left me."

There was an uneasy silence as Cassie took this in. She looked down at her lap, twisting the engagement ring on her finger. She remembered that meeting with Beca in the lobby. Jesse had insisted they go to the waiting town car but she was adamant she wanted to say hi to Beca. She had babbled on about the wedding, all the while flashing that obscene diamond ring and all that talk about the baby. That must have hurt. Cassie remembered with a pang that Beca lost hers a year back.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jess," she spoke up in a small voice. Her eyes were still fixed on the ring. "I had an inkling something was off. I should've pressed you about it. I didn't even tell you Aubrey and I went for a third cycle. I should've asked you. If I had known -"

"I'm to blame," Jesse replied. "I made a lot of spectacularly bad decisions. It was too good to be true for me anyway." He leaned in closer, hugging Cassie with one arm. "But hey, at least something great is coming out of all this. We are going to have a baby. You and Aubrey are going to be mommies. How great will that be?"

Cassie was speechless at what he said. Like a true friend, Jesse had refused to let her take the blame. It was obvious he was hurting yet trying hard to smile through his pain. All Cassie wanted for years and years was to be have a baby to raise with a person she loved. This whole plan was supposed to be foolproof. It was supposed to be a win-win situation for all but she didn't foresee how many people were going to be hurt by all this.

"Aubrey knew about you and Beca, didn't she?" Cassie asked.

"For some time," Jesse confirmed.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"Don't be hard on her, Cass. She has been protecting you all this while. Aubrey and I don't get along much but one thing I can say, she always put you first, This is all very hard for her but she's planning your wedding and standing up there beside you, watching you get married to someone else. If that's not love -"

Cassie shook her head. "We are both terrible people, aren't we?"

"Yes," Jesse agreed. "Yes, we are."

There was a momentary silence as that thought sank in. They were indeed terrible people. The only thing they both seemed to know how to do was how to hurt those nearest and dearest to them.

"So what happens now?" Cassie sighed.

Jesse raised his eyes towards the ceiling. For a long moment, he stared unseeing at the intricate fretwork before answering the question.

"We get married."

"Jess, you don't have to do this. It doesn't feel right. You're still in love with Beca -"

He felt tired now. Tired and drained. Jesse had tuned out what Cassie was saying, He just want to get this day over and with. He was aware they were holding up the wedding. The was a church full of restless guests waiting. Uncle George Harris Senior was wondering what was the hold up and the press waiting outside would probably jumped from one wild speculation to another by now. He had to, at least, do one thing right today. So Jesse stood up, dusting down his suit and offered his hand out to Cassie.

"Why don't you get ready?" Jesse said, helping Cassie up to her feet.. "I'll be waiting at the top of the aisle. Just like I promised."

The weirdest thing was how quickly everything fell in place.

They were running late. This wedding was planned within an inch of its life and an hour delay should have a cataclysmic effect but it all seemed to work out. Once he and Cassie emerged from the vestry, they found a worried looking Aubrey waiting outside. Her eyes immediately homed in on Cassie's face and at that slight nod from the tall brunette, Aubrey had snapped to attention and led Cassie away, quietly barking orders to the rest of the entourage.

Jesse was now standing where he should be. At the top, looking down at the long aisle towards the grand double doors. From where he was standing, he could appreciate how much work had gone into the planning. The church looked spectacular. The flowers. The miles and miles of tulle and bunting. And the eager faces of guests all smiling up at him. Jesse felt like turning on his heels and leaving it all behind but when the organist struck up the familiar tune and the doors were thrown open, his feet stayed where they were.

The bridesmaids and grooms walked up the aisle. As maid of honour, Aubrey came next. She walked up the aisle, face serene but for a split second before she took her place at the top of the aisle, that perfect cool mask she was wearing slipped and Jesse saw the flash of agony on her face. It was gone in seconds as soon as she met Jesse's eyes and Aubrey neatly stepped into place.

There was a hushed silence as all eyes were now trained on the picture of Cassie standing by the doorway, arm in arm with George Harris Senior. The flower girls came fluttering up the aisle, strewing petals in their wake and Jesse watched as Cassie walked, photographers snapping her every step. She looked every inch the perfect bride. They had fixed her dress and veil. The bouquet she was carrying looked as fresh as before. It was as if the last hour had not happened.

Once they drew level, George Harris Senior looked like he was to burst from pride as he handed Cassie over. Jesse smiled back woodenly and both him and Cassie stood side by side facing the priest and the whole church fell silent.

"Dearly beloved -"

He should really pay attention but Jesse couldn't help tuning out at what the priest was saying. They had opted for the standard vows so he would just need to say the right words at the right time.

"And if anyone know of any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together in holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever, hold his - "

"I object!"

The sound of a female voice ringing out in the quiet church was enough to snap Jesse back to the present. That and the audible gasps bouncing off the walls. He turned round to face the congregation and stood on her vertiginous Jimmy Choo heels and huge feathered hat, was Wilhelmina Slater. It was to be expected that she would try to disrupt the wedding but Jesse was still speechless. It was George Harris Snr. who spoke up.

"Willie? What's the meaning of this?"

Wilhelmina, like the consummate showman she was, took a deep breath, waiting for every eye to be on her before speaking up.

"Your future nephew-in-law is not who he say he is!" she said. "I think you should know the truth, George. This whole marriage is a sham!"

"Jesse?" George Harris Snr. spoke out in surprise.

"Yes, Jesse Swanson," Wilhelmina accused, striding up the aisle, her heels clacking noisily on the stone floor. "I think you should know, George, what kind of person Jesse Swanson is. The groom - " She pointed out at Jesse, pausing for dramatic effect. " - used to be a stripper!"

The initial gasp at the revelation had now turn to a babble of low voices. The wedding party seemed frozen at the top of the aisle while Wilhelmina stood in front of them in chic Gucci, arms folded and with a streak of smugness across her face. Jesse was aware Benji had stepped back when Wilhelmina first spoke up, speaking into his earpiece and Security were already moving up the aisle. There was going to be an ugly altercation. There was no avoiding it and all the while the flashbulbs were going and the cameras were clicking away.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That bellow from George Harris Snr. could be heard from the back of the church. Jesse spun round to see the old man staring at Wilhelmina Slater, anger all over his face. Jesse's eyes snapped back to Wilhelmina and for the first time, he saw Wilhelmina's smirk shifted. She looked a little unsure now.

"I thought you should know," Wilhelmina answered, the smug look on her face replaced with fake concern. "Is that the type of person you want joining your family?"

"I've known Jesse since he was little!" George Harris Snr. Said. "I don't know where you get the idea he was a stripper."

"He used to work with that man over there," Wilhelmina pointed accusingly at Donald, who was standing next to Jesse. "At a club called The Stallion in LA."

George Harris Snr looked at both Jesse and Donald in turn.

"Is is true, son?"

"Umm… yes. But not entirely," Donald spoke up. "Jesse did work for me but he was doing the bookkeeping. He wasn't - y'know - stripping."

The old man was glancing at Jesse now.

"Well I don't care if you're a stripper, son. I think you're a fine young man and I'm proud to have you join my family," George Sir said. He turned back to face Wilhelmina who was looking a little pale now. He clocked the two bouncers moving in behind her. "Guys, please remove Ms. Slater from this church."

The two security personnel were right behind her and for once, Wilhelmina realised she had grossly misjudged the situation.

"Get your hands off me!" she hissed loudly as they tried to move her. She batted their hands away all the while shouting. "George! Wait! You don't understand! The whole relationship. It's all fake!"

The bouncers were already bodily handling Wilhelmina, lifting her off her feet. She was kicking and screaming. Her hat fell forward, the huge feather decorating the brim whacking into her face.

"It's all fake, you hear me! Fake!" Willie yelled. "He sleeps with anything with a pussy! And Cassie? You want to know something about Cassie?"

"Willie, Enough!" George Harris Snr. roared.

As if there was not enough drama unfolding, another voice rang out, over and above the scuffling down the church aisle and Wilhelmina's curses.

"I object!"

Jesse was almost dizzy, whipping round towards this new source. It was right next to him. He turned to find Cassie visibly shaking. She whipped her veil back and when the white silk flew over her head, Jesse saw how red rimmed her eyes were.

"Jess, I can't do this." Cassie said. "I just can't."

Anyone could hear a pin drop in the church. Even Wilhelmina had stopped struggling and stood still with the bouncers' hands restraining her arms. Everyone watched with growing fascination at what was happening in front. Cassie was staring at Jesse, a mute appeal in her eyes. He slowly nodded in comprehension and then Cassie switched her attention to George Harris Snr.

"Uncle George. I'm sorry,' she said, almost in tears. "I know nothing could make you happier than me marrying Jesse but I just can't."

It was as if all the air was sucked out of the room. Everyone held their breath and every pair of eyes were on Cassie.

"Wilhelmina is right,.This whole thing is fake. I can't do this to Jesse." Cassie said and then she turned to her right, holding out her hand. "And I really can't do this to Aubrey."

Aubrey dropped her maid of honour bouquet and burst out the back of the church, something similar to a donkey braying erupted from Wilhelmina Slater.

"I told you!" she crowed out. "I told you this whole thing was fake."

No one was paying attention to her. Everyone was speaking between themselves; the babble of voices now raising to a din. In the midst of it all, George Harris Snr. staggered backwards, trying to clutch onto something. He collapsed and someone screamed far too loud.

"Oh my god! He's having a heart attack!"

Thankfully it wasn't.

The ambulance was called. He was pronounced ok by the paramedic but as a precaution, George Harris Snr was send to a private hospital whilst his physician were called.

Jesse stood outside in the waiting area, trying to slow down the torrent of thoughts running through his mind right now. Cassie and Aubrey were sitting opposite him. The limo supposed to whisk them to the reception had sent the three of them to the hospital instead. Cassie was still in her wedding dress looking distressed that she had done harm to her uncle. Aubrey had thrown her arm protectively around Cassie's shoulders, her hand in hers.

They had not spoken about what happened at the church just now. In all the confusion, the priority had been to see to the elderly man and right now, in the sombre waiting room, it felt like the wrong place to speak about it. No doubt the stories caught by the many photographers and guests alike were already racing its way around. They would just have to deal with it like any other scandal that came their way.

"Jesse Swanson?"

The trio looked up. The consultant had came out of the room, eyeing the three waiting outside. He was looking at Jesse direct.

"I assume you are Jesse?" the consultant said.

"Yes," Jesse croaked out, hurriedly getting up to his feet. "Is everything ok? Is he going to be alright?"

Cassie was also on her feet.

"Yes, he's going to be fine," came the answer. "He just had a fright but nothing to worry about. He does want to speak to you." The consultant turned towards Cassie who had a stricken look on her face. "Miss Harris? I need to check some details with you."

Cassie and Aubrey were talking to the consultant when Jesse quietly let himself into George Harris Snr's room. There was the soft, reassuring beep from the hooked ups heart monitor It was dim with only one light at the corner but Jesse could easily make out the bed and the frail looking older man resting with the blankets drawn up to his chest.

"Jesse -" he heard George Harris Snr. calling him.

"Yes," Jesse spoke up, coming nearer to the bed. He found the older man looking confused and a little tired but he had some colour on his cheeks. "I'm here."

It took some moments for the old man to focus on his face but when he did, a frail smile lit up his face. He tried sitting up and Jesse swiftly helped him.

"How you feeling?" Jesse asked once the old man settled into a comfortable position.

"I had better days," George Harris Snr answered. "I was expecting to toast your wedding and dance with my niece this evening. Not end up in the hospital."

Jesse smiled back, at a loss on what to say.

"So are you going to tell me what is happening?" he asked Jesse. "What the hell is all this? I thought you and Cassie had been together for ages."

Jesse took a deep breath, steadying himself.

"Cassie and I were never in a relationship,' he confessed. "Cassie has been with Aubrey for a while. We thought you wouldn't approve."

George Harris Snr closed his eyes momentarily, seemingly taking in the news.

"You think I wouldn't approve?" he said almost to himself. He opened his eyes, looking straight at Jesse now. "If both you and Cassie are not in love, why did you planned to get married?"

"We both know you will be so happy if we are together," Jesse explained. "We want you to be happy."

There was another long silence as George Harris Snr digested the news.

"You both are going to go through all this -" the older man finally spoke up. "- just to make me happy?"

"Yes. Cassie and I also knew you feel a lot better if you could hand down H&H to both of us. Although, just so you know, Cassie is perfectly capable running H&H on her own. She is remarkable."

"I know she is," he replied. George Harris Snr. was quiet for a minute before croaking out. "So - all this while?" Jesse shook his head in reply and the old man sighed heavily. "And the baby? Is that real?"

"Yes,' Jesse smiled, glad he could give his Uncle George some good news at last. "The baby is ours. You'll still be GamGam, Uncle George. We had the baby via IVF. The three of us - Cassie, I and Aubrey - " he stressed. "We are all committed to bringing up the baby."

George Harris Snr nodded in response.

"This is all too modern for me. Maybe it's time for me to move on -" he said, shaking his head slowly. He reached for Jesse's hand and Jesse quickly took his hand into his. "Jesse, I don't care what happens," George Harris said. "You are still family to me."

Jesse nodded solemnly, squeezing the older man hand. He really owed a lot to him.

"So what happen after I collapsed?" he asked Jesse. "I hope the party still goes on?"

"The guests are all at the reception. We thought it was best they go straight there," Jesse answered. "We came with the ambulance to be with you. Cassie and Aubrey are outside."

George Harris Snr chuckled, "There's going to be a huge fallout, isn't there? We had half of New York press at the wedding."

"Yeah,' Jesse smiled. "But you know what they say. No such thing as bad publicity."

The old man nodded, looking more like his old self.

"The next few weeks going to be fun." he said, squeezing Jesse's hand once more before letting go. "You shouldn't be here sitting with an old man, Jesse. You should be at the party."

Jesse was about to protest when George Harris Snr raised his hand to shut him up.

"Go and have fun," he ordered. "Now send my niece in. I want to talk to her."

Never in a million years would Jesse Swanson guessed this was how he spent the evening after his big society wedding.

Well, technically there wasn't one.

He was not married to Cassie yet here they all were at a highly decorated ballroom in the Plaza, with the reception in full swing. He was sitting at the back with a drink in hand, his jacket unbuttonned and tie undone. He had switched off his phone and left it somewhere. He didn't quite know where he chucked his phone. He was already tired of the ongoing buzzing as texts and calls and social media notifications blew up on his phone. He just wanted to enjoy his drink and think through what happened today. It had been a pretty eventful, to say the least.

After he had left the ward, it was Cassie's turn. Five minute later, Cassie had came out in tears. Happy tears. Jesse saw how she stood by the door and beckoned Aubrey over. The blonde had been hesitant but went over anyway. Apparently the old man wanted to see her too and Jesse waited outside, a little relieved that everything was out in the open.

They had came out, hand in hand and after a few words exchanged between them, Aubrey called the limo to bring them to the reception. It was what George Harris Snr wanted. He was in good hands, well taken care off and they were under his strict instructions to go back to the reception which had been paid for anyway.

They were quiet in the car and weren't expecting the pandemonium at the front of the Plaza once the limo drew up. Paparazzi and press were waiting, just in case they turned up and they faced a barrage of cameras and reporters all wanting a word. Thankfully, Benji had made arrangements for Security to escort them through and the PR team were already in place saying a formal statement will come tomorrow. When they finally reached the ballroom, they were greeted with applause. Everyone seemed to surge forward to talk to Cassie and Aubrey, congratulating them and Jesse tactfully melted to the background, happy to let the couple have the limelight.

The wine and cocktails must have been potent because everyone seemed to be happy and enjoying themselves. He didn't get any awkward questions. He did get a few women eyeing him with interest and a couple of propositions but Jesse was not in any mood for that. He didn't think he would be for a long time.

"You ok there, bud?"

Jesse looked up to find Donald looming over him. He had a fresh flute of champagne in his hand which he handed over and Jesse took it gratefully.

"I'm fine," Jesse replied, taking a swig of the bubbly liquid.

"It's all going to ok, y'know," Donald commented, siting down next to Jesse's. "It might not feel like it now but it's going to work out."

Jesse thought about what Donald said. He thought about what happened today, about Beca, about this ache that didn't seem to shift from his heart all day long. He saw Cassie and Aubrey on the dance floor, dancing with each other, face wreathed with smiles. People were still coming up to them, offering more congratulations and their smiles widened at every single one. It was their party. It was their night.

Jesse stood up.

"Don -" he said, placing the glass flute on a nearby table. "I'm going to head home."

Donald was blinking up at him through his glasses, trying to gauge his mood.

"Sure," the bespectacled man said, also rising up to his feet. "Can't I tempt you to stay? It's a wedding. There's a lot of ladies out here who are happy to -"

Jesse shook his head, laughing at his friend's one track mind.

"No," he refused easily. "For once I'm just going to go home alone. Don't even try."

"Ok. Let's head on home," Donald said. "Let me grab a couple of bottles and we can get a cab to your place."

He was ready to walk off when Jesse stopped him.

"You don't have to come with me. I'm going to be fine,' he said firmly. "Besides, I saw you were having a good time with Stacie."

Jesse was, of course, correct. Both of them glanced towards the open bar where Stacie was. The tall brunette was watching both of them carefully, drink in hand. Despite all that had happened today, Stacie was still at her post, diligently waiting if Cassie or Aubrey needed her. It didn't mean she couldn't party with the rest of them. Jesse could see how attracted Donald was to the tall brunette and really who was he to be selfish? He was not going to rain on Donald's parade.

"I'm going to go," Jesse said, buttoning up his jacket. "I just have to say goodbye to the happy couple."

The music was loud and the lights were flashing everywhere. But Aubrey and Cassie seemed to sense Jesse approaching the dance floor. Cassie was the first to break away and with an encouraging smile from Aubrey, she met him halfway as he walked towards them.

"Hey," Cassie called out, offering her arms out for a hug.

"Hey," Jesse answered back, taking the hug and squeezing Cassie tight. They stood hugging each other before Jesse let go and immediately he could spot that worried look on her face.

"Why are you frowning?" Jesse asked, shaking her lightly. "This is turning out to be a great night."

"Yeah. It has. It has been a great night," Cassie glanced back at Aubrey before turning back to face Jesse. "Are you ok?" she asked, sounding concerned.

"I'm fine. I just want to say congratulations."

Cassie bit her lip, a little overwhelmed.

"Thank you," she answered. "I wouldn't have had the courage if you -"

"No, you did it all by yourself," Jesse interrupted. "I'm so happy for both of you. It's about time everyone knows about you and Aubrey. A real relationship is not one hidden away, Cass. I learnt that the hard way."

"Jess, if it's meant to be with you and Beca -"

"Promise me I can still get involved with the baby, ok?" Jesse interrupted, changing the subject. "I know it's all in the open now and I don't really have to be in the picture but I want to be there."

Aubrey came to join them as Jesse said that. Cassie took Aubrey's hand and both women looked at Jesse.

"You are always part of the family, Jess," Cassie said fervently. "Always."

Jesse smiled, hugging both women in turn. He said his goodbyes and Jesse Swanson walked away, leaving the dance floor, leaving the party, leaving the noise and merriment behind. He felt happy for Cassie and Aubrey. He felt happy that it all seemed to work out with Uncle George and he knew, given time the issue abut H&H succession would turned out ok.

No more lies. No more pretending. No more subterfuge.

No more hiding and half truths.

By right, Jesse Swanson should feel relieved. He should feel carefree, no more burdened with secrets and lies. And yet, there was this dull and desolate ache on his heart, weighing him down like heavy stone. And as he stood in his dark and empty apartment where everything reminded him of a blue eyed woman he loved and lost, Jesse Swanson was sure he would be carrying that ache with him for a very long time.

AN : Update at last! So very sorry and please don't hate me. I had a terrible time trying to upload this chapter before I found out Safari is not fanfiction friendly. Also a lot had gone down in London which really made me sad. But we persevere. This one story is coming to a close and I'll be working on my other fics. Any suggestion on which one?