Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters
Title: Eluetherophobia
Rating: T
Genre: Romance
Pairing: Hinata/Sasuke
Summary: Sasuke didn't know he feared freedom until she gave it to him. Modern AU. Kryptonite-verse.
Note: To understand Incandescence you guys didn't necessarily have to read Careful, She's Your Kryptonite but to understand this one, you'll most likely have to read both of its predecessors. Both can be found in my bio. Enjoy!
She was an ever-constant in his life, Hinata was. He remembered her as kids when she played in the park with her little sister and cousin. He remembered her obsession with sliced pineapples that she bought weekly from the supermarket that still existed to today. He never minded her presence, not when they were adolescence and not when they were in university, where she was the only familiar face in a huge campus full of students trying to make something of their lives.
It was a comfort, even. That after a long day of classes or an early morning after get drunk off his ass on Saturdays he could go back to the dormitory and see her sweet pearl eyes, the midnight raven hue of her long hair. She watched her fair share of his failed relationships. Of the twenty seven girls he had a relationship with in college, she witnessed the breakup of twelve of them in the very walls of their dormitory. Others, he knew she heard through the grapevine. It was a hefty number; surely she didn't like him after seeing what a heartbreaking bastard he was.
Years after, when she called him in his second year of working as a lawyer, asking for help, Sasuke knew God was telling him something. He spent more than two decades of his life with the Hyuga somewhere in the back of his mind, in the background of his blurred reality, and she was now asking to come back into his life. He wasn't big on fate and divine destiny, but Sasuke recognised signs when it was shoved in his face.
-X-
Two years into their marriage, Sasuke knew what God was trying to say.
He was watching her one Thursday morning, humming along to a CD on the stereo as she prepared breakfast for them. Her hips moved to the beat at times, and others she tapped her foot or nodded her head to the rhythm. And it was that moment, when she miscalculated the beat and frowned as the song played, wondering where she went wrong.
You belong to her, he thought.
Turning his back to the image of his confused wife, Sasuke pulled on his tie, tightening it around his neck.
Half an hour later, when she put her dishes in the sink and said she'll see him tonight, he watched her pull on her shoes and leave. And he stared at the closed door for a full two minutes before snapping out of it.
You're in deep, a voice whispered in his mind. He pushed it away because it was him who proposed the idea. He couldn't change the conditions simply because of some silly feelings he could easily blame on hormones that had yet to pass.
-X-
Eleutherophobia: The fear of freedom.
Sasuke didn't know why, but when he saw the definition of the word, marked in a dictionary on a shelf at work, he found it oddly relatable. He never remembered having a particular fear of anything, but when he gave it an honest thought, he realized his entire life felt like a cage. He felt trapped within his own world, and it wasn't until recently that he found that he was finally able to breathe for the first time.
-X-
When he told her indirectly he loved her, he expected her to hit him. Scream at him. Hate him for putting them in such a difficult situation. How dare he expect her love, much less children from her when it was he who wanted a marriage of companionship. Nothing more.
But instead, she threw herself at him and it was a night of the deepest confessions because when she asked him to make love to her, Sasuke was sure he was dreaming because there was no other explanation for years worth of love to come bursting through in a few short moments. But it had and as though to make up for all the time they lost, Sasuke came home before five for a week straight and the first thing he did was kiss her full on the lips before making love to her every time like it was their first.
And at nights, when he made love to her again and stared at her glowing form in the aftermath, he thanked whatever deity it was that put them in a life together.
-X-
Sasuke only ever felt jealousy twice in his life. The first was of his older brother when he was old enough to know the reason his parents divorced. He knew his father wasn't an attentive man, least of all to his family, and to know he dedicated himself to teaching Itachi to be successful made Sasuke envious. But brotherhood was brotherhood, and it didn't last long. The second time was of a new employee at the firm. He was outside with Shikamaru who was taking a cigarette break when the man came outside and greeted his wife and their two young children both of who couldn't be older than five.
'We came to say hello,' his wife grinned as her husband leaned in for a kiss.
'Don't kiss Mommy next to us!' The little boy pouted, pointing an accusing finger at his father. The man laughed and picked up the boy, smothering him with kisses as his daughter tugged his pant leg. 'Daddy,' she whined and he picked her up as well.
Their laughter filled the air and Sasuke looked away, a lump forming in his throat.
'Strange, isn't it?' Shikamaru asked.
He stared at his friend.
'How much happiness some little runts can give you. They become the centre of your world even though all they do is cause trouble and wreck havoc.' He puffed on his cigarette.
Sasuke masked his emotions with a smirk. 'When are you and Ino having one? You've been married for years.'
Shikamaru put the cigarette out. 'We're trying. That's the idea anyway. We've been trying for years now and nothing.'
'Sorry to hear.'
He shook his head. 'Doesn't matter anyway. Ino always wanted to adopt. She used to talk about adopting kids from all over the world when we were teenagers. I couldn't take her seriously then but I know she's still considering. Troublesome woman.'
Troublesome Ino may be, but inconsistent she was not. She didn't fail to visit her husband often, bringing him food when he stayed back late and or making him coffee in the tearoom so he could concentrate. The employees in the firm were used to her presence, as though she was a worker there rather than a woman who barged in multiple times a week.
Sasuke would watch her sometimes. He'd watch her put the coffee on his desk and kiss his cheek, and when she blabbered on about her day in attempt to get him to stop working, although Shikamaru would roll his eyes and call her troublesome, the affection was unmistakable; hers for him and his for her.
He imagined sometimes, when Ino came in, that Hinata would follow her, holding a cup of coffee and wearing a shy smile for him. He knew she would if he asked, but he couldn't bring himself to.
-X-
I'm coming late tonight, you can start the movie without me, he messaged her on a Friday night. They had been planning the night together since Tuesday, but his superior was refusing to let him leave, determined to have him finish off the most recent case report before letting him go.
The point was to spend time together, not watch the movie, she replied several minutes later. Her displeasure, however subtle, was laced in her words.
I'll make it up to you when I get home, he typed and then set aside his phone, because the longer he messaged, the longer it would take for him to leave. She didn't reply. He knew he shouldn't feel guilty, it wasn't his fault. But all his time with his wife felt precious, as they had lost so much time already in their marriage of four, going on five, years.
Sasuke looked down at his paperwork, forcing himself to focus. A quick glance at his watch revealed it was 5:32. Calculating he would be done in approximately three and a half hours, he set to work. An hour later, he heard heavy, fast footsteps. Ino.
'Hey,' she greeted everyone in the office cheerfully, and Sasuke could see through the reflection of his laptop she handed Shikamaru a cup of coffee and a sweet kiss on his cheek. 'You look tired,' she noted. 'Need any help?' She wasn't speaking loudly, but Shikamaru's desk was close enough to his for him to hear their conversation. Before he could catch Nara's reply, a glass container was put in front of him. Full of curry rice. 'I thought you'd be hungry,' a voice said from his side.
Stunned, he twisted in his chair. Hinata smiled at him, pulling up a chair for herself. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face, her cheeks flushed. She watched him nervously as he stared at her. 'Well,' she cleared her throat, 'you said you couldn't make it. And Ino messaged me asking if I wanted to come visit and I just...' There was something about the way she was looking at him, at her surroundings in her fidgety way that made Sasuke feel as though he was hit with liberty. He felt emancipated. But when was he a slave? To who?
He stood abruptly. 'Come with me,' he said, turning to a long corridor to his left. Hearing her footsteps shuffling behind him, he pulled her into an empty meeting room.
'Did I upset you?' She asked, looking frantic. 'It's okay, I can go home, we'll just pretend I never came her-'
'Be quiet, Hinata,' he pushed her against the wall and kissed her hard, hands coming up to cup her face and bring her closer. She paused for a moment before her eyes slid shut and he felt her arms wound about his torso.
Pulling away, he kissed her jaw. 'I love you,' he murmured against her skin, fingers dropping to grasp her shirt.
'So you're not mad I'm here?' She breathed.
'Don't be ridiculous.' He kissed her again, nipping her bottom lip to gain entry. The moment her lips parted he slipped his tongue in, scraping it against the roof of her mouth, along her teeth. He almost groaned but she put a hand against his chest, pushing him away enough for their mouths to part.
'Go eat your food,' she smiled. 'Then finish your work so we could go home.'
'Not to watch the movie, I'm hoping,' he frowned, eyes on her swollen lips.
She let out a small, melodious laugh. 'Not if you don't want to.'
He kissed her again. 'Good.'
-X-
Sasuke didn't know he feared freedom until she gave it to him.
Some of you wanted a fic from Sasuke's perspective, and here it is. I don't know whether I like it that much, but writing is writing and I'm at least proud of the effort I put in : )
Let me know what you guys think
xx