I do not own any of the characters or The Hobbit (just the AU storyline and my OC). These are the work of the esteemed and brilliant John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, and without his genius, this and many other fanfics would not be in existence.

Guess what? We bought a farm! Actually, it's 5 acres of bare land in north Idaho US, and we're building our house! Ourselves! Yes, you read that correctly. We are doing all the work the county will let us do ourselves to save a fortune on labor costs (and because that way, any mistakes are our problem and we don't have to worry about a builder cutting corners and charging a fortune to do so). I grew up with a father who, despite his abusive nature, did everything DIY and did electrical and framing etc professionally and I had to help whether I wanted to or not (no brothers), so I have the skills and the time. Our goal is to get it dried in (full shell done) before winter and finish it from the inside over winter. SO excited! This has been a 20+ year dream in the making!

So I don't know how often I can update, given that I'll be SUPER busy getting this done, but I dreamed this chapter (literally) in that half-asleep half-waking period before waking up, and want to get it down before I lose it :D

Please go on Amazon DOT com and check out my original novel, Amazing Grace by Amanda Longpre', and as always (for both AG and this story) please read, review, favorite and follow! You guys are amazing for being so patient for so long!

Enjoy!

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Cirashala sat down on her bedroll carefully, mindful of the hardness of the granite beneath her. Her body was wound up so, so tightly as she stared at the dark crevice in the earth, muscles fraught with tension in her fear.

All day long, memories of her and Kili's fall in Goblin town assaulted her mind. It had been without a doubt one of the singularly most terrifying moments of her life, falling and not knowing when her life will end. The pain from her burning back had not been sufficient to block the fact that they had been falling to their death, such fate prevented only by the grace of God, or Eru as He was known here.

With each step she took, she saw herself rushing toward the terrified Kili as he yanked her into his arms, shielding her from the majority of the onslaught with his own body. The young woman knew without a doubt, especially given his severe injuries thereafter, that he had willingly sacrificed himself to protect her, for if he had not done so, she would have most certainly been killed on the rocks as they fell.

He is truly a prince of the line of Durin, she thought to herself as she glanced at him from the corner of her eye. But more than that, he has a good heart.

She wrapped her arms around herself as she stared at the ravine again. The path was a little wider here, and it was clear that it was intended to be a resting place for travelers as they journeyed through the forest. She normally loved forests very much, and missed the pine and aspen forests she lived in back in her own world dearly. Walking through the forests and along the streams, lakes and rivers of her homeland gave her more peace in a world of strife and fear than anything else. In it, she saw the wonders of her Creator's hand, and all weariness and worry left her, and she was peaceful and content.

But in this dark, ominous forest filled with spiders, flies, and deep ravines, she would find no rest.

XXX

Thorin called a halt, and turned toward the group. Kili sighed wearily as he gave out work assignments, and was relieved that his only task was the last watch of the night with his brother.

The young prince quickly made up his bed, before glancing at the young woman. His brow furrowed in concern as he took in her pale face and tense form, and he followed her gaze toward the ravine in front. His eyes widened in realization.

She's afraid of the ravine, he thought to himself. She's…afraid she's going to fall again.

Sympathy welled up in him. Truth be told, he had been a little nervous upon seeing the ravine as well. Who wouldn't be, after nearly falling to one's death in Goblin town? But he had grown up in dwarf halls, such as they were, and though he wouldn't dare to venture too close to the edge, he wasn't nearly as frightened about it as she seemed to be just now. He longed to hold her, to comfort and reassure her, but that would arouse suspicion and rumors- rumors that did not need confirmation.

A pot rattled loudly, and he glanced over to where Bombur was beginning preparations for supper. A thought crossed his mind, and he rose from his bedroll and made his way to the cook. The rotund dwarf wouldn't light the fire until absolutely necessary, the group finding that the bright orange flames seemed to bring out the flies in droves. But one couldn't eat cold, uncooked beans without some stomach upset after, so while the flies were extremely annoying, it would be risked long enough to cook supper.

"Bombur?" he asked, "Can I help with supper?" Thirteen pair of eyes looked at him in bewilderment and trepidation, and Bilbo looked quite confused.

"Why on earth do you want to help me, lad?" Bombur asked slowly. "Ye can't cook to save your life!" Kili shrugged, not denying it. The last time he had attempted to cook, he had lit one part of supper on fire and the other part hadn't even gotten done, and had made everyone in his family violently ill for three days as a result. No one, including himself, had let him near the hearth ever since, unless it was merely to start the fire.

"No," he agreed, "but I can help you with other preparations. I don't have anything else to do except watch, and thought you could use the help." Bombur hummed even as the others, even Thorin, visibly sighed in relief, before nodding.

"Aye," he said, gesturing toward the bags of desiccated vegetables and flour and other ingredients. "Sit down and measure out four bowls each of those." Kili nodded and did as bidden.

Supper was soon finished, and Bombur began to fill the bowls with the bean stew. Plopping a biscuit on top of each bowl as instructed, Kili handed them out to the others, before reaching at last for his bowl and Cira's. She had not approached the fire, and he made his way over to her bedroll.

"Cira?" he said softly. She looked up at him, and he could see the fatigue in her blue eyes. He did not blame her- none of them had slept well since entering this forest. "Supper's ready." He reached out and handed her bowl to her.

"Thank you," she replied, and he could not help but notice her nervous glance toward the ravine again. He sighed, before sitting down next to her.

"You're afraid," he said quietly, understanding in his tone. She glanced at him, before nodding.

"Yes," she replied, and he could hear the fear in her voice. "I…I keep thinking. W…when we fell…" She trailed off, and he nodded.

"I am too," he said after a moment. "I thought...we were going to die." She nodded as a tear trickled down her cheek, before she quickly brushed it away.

"Why didn't you let go of me?" he asked low enough that the others could not hear. "You had no way of knowing we would survive." She closed her eyes for a moment, before looking back at him.

"Because you're my friend," she replied, eyes misting once more. "I wouldn't have let you fall anyway, but…you're my friend. My best friend. I…know I will never be yours-that place belongs to your brother and I would never take that way from you both, but…you're my best friend, Kili. If I had to do it again, I would." A slight fire entered her eyes as she suddenly turned toward him.

"And if you get anywhere near the edge of this ravine, I will kill you," she declared firmly, though still mindful of other ears. "I'm not losing my best friend to another fall." Her tone was dead serious, and he stared at her in surprise for a moment, before a smile formed on his lips.

"I won't," he promised, knowing that her threat was not borne out of maliciousness, but rather the love of a friend. She turned back to her bowl, accidentally knocking her wood spoon out of it with a clatter. Without thinking, he immediately reached for it…only for his hand to land right on top of hers.

The young dwarf's breath hitched as he froze, heart beating through his chest as he stared at their hands. His eyes widened, and he swallowed nervously. He dared not look at her, fearing that his love would be visible in his eyes, but he found he could not move his hand either. Panic coursed through him.

I'm touching…her hand. I'm…holding…her hand…

A bird cawed in the distance, and he quickly withdrew it as though he had been bitten by a snake. Kili tried as best he could to keep his voice steady even as his whole body trembled.

"S…sorry," he stammered, inwardly cursing himself for not paying attention.

"I…it's all right," she replied quietly. "Thanks, for trying to get my spoon." Kili swallowed nervously, before glancing toward his bedroll.

"I…need to get some sleep," he muttered. "I have watch tonight." He rose to his feet, before taking a deep breath. Guarding his expression, he turned back toward her.

"Goodnight, Cira," he said quietly. "And…stay away from the edge." She nodded, and he turned and headed back to his bedroll, heart still beating rapidly. At least no one else appeared to see the incident, their hands having been blocked from view by Kili's legs.

That was close…too close.

XXX

"You did what?!" Fili whispered, mindful of other ears. Oin was on watch, and the others were asleep, else they wouldn't even be having this conversation here at all. Kili closed his eyes even as shame filled his face.

"I…I didn't mean to," he whispered back, his face only a couple inches away from his brother's as they lay on their bedrolls. "Her spoon fell, and I was just trying to pick it up for her. I didn't know she'd be reaching for it too." Fili sighed, before looking back up at him.

"Nadad, you have to be more careful," he warned. "If anything like that happens again, you need to let go right away." Kili sighed in exasperation.

"I tried," he explained. "I tried…but I couldn't move." He groaned, before stuffing his head in his coat, which was currently doubling as a pillow.

"Why couldn't I move?" he whispered.

"You were startled," Fili said quietly, understanding in his tone. "You didn't expect it." Kili sighed again, before turning toward his brother.

"What am I going to do?" he asked. "Do…do I need to apologize to her again?" Fili's brow furrowed in thought, before he shook his head.

"No," he replied. "You already apologized once. If you do it again, she will suspect something." He sighed, before rising to his feet.

"I need to visit the bush…the rock," he amended, realizing that there were no bushes on the path. "Come with me, brother." Kili nodded, before rising to his feet.

The brothers let the dwarf on watch know where they were going, before heading over to the rock in question. It was clear the elves intended it to be a toilet, as a small hollow had been cut out of the side of the hill and a deep, deep hole had been dug and covered with a stone with a hole in it. It provided enough cover from the camp area to conceal the two of them easily, and Fili sat down and began to do his business. The brothers had never been overly shy around each other, and his tunic covered his lap easily. Kili sat down with his back to the rock face alongside the path and sighed.

"She said I was her best friend," he said quietly. Fili chuckled.

"You're just now figuring that out?" he asked. Kili turned toward him in confusion. "Nadad, it's been obvious that you're her best friend for a while now." Kili reached his hand out and placed it on his brother's hand.

"Fili, I don't want you to think she's taking your place," Kili reassured. "She said that I was her best friend, not that she was mine. She knows you're my best friend." Fili smiled at his brother.

"I know you are," he replied. "I've never doubted that, nadadith." Kili sighed again, before pulling out his runestone. He stared at the green-gray stone, a remnant of a larger stone his mother had carried from Erebor so long ago.

"Fili, do you really think Thorin will let her live in Erebor?" he asked, looking up at his brother. The elder's expression grew more serious.

"I don't know," he admitted. "He wasn't too happy with Balin speaking as though it were already decided. But he has said she can visit. Erebor is only a few days' journey away from Laketown." Kili's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Why is she going to Laketown?" he asked, putting his runestone away so he wouldn't lose it. Fili shrugged.

"Maybe she has family there," he replied. Kili shook his head.

"Her family is dead," he reminded him. "And her father…hurt her, her mother ignored it, and her sisters were cruel to her. I don't think she has family there."

"Maybe she has an aunt or uncle there," Fili suggested. "Why else would she travel halfway across the world to get to Laketown? How else would she even know Laketown existed?" Kili shook his head.

"I don't think she does have relations there," he replied. "How could she have kin so far away?"

"Dain is our cousin," the elder pointed out, "and he lives even further east than Laketown." A thought suddenly entered Kili's mind, though it made little sense to him.

"Maybe…she just wanted to come with us?" he asked. "She…does not seem to fare well among Men."

"If you're speaking of the Woodmen, yes," Fili agreed. "But she is half human, and has lived among Men her whole life. It's all she's ever known."

"Yes, she has," Kili replied, "and she has not been treated kindly by them at all. Who is to say Laketown will be any better?" Fili finished his business and sat down next to his brother, knowing that they would have more privacy in their conversation here than in the camp. Oin's watch was drawing to a close, and Dwalin would not hesitate to reveal their conversation to Thorin if he felt it was warranted.

"It may not be," he admitted. "But Kili, who is to say she'll fare better in Erebor? Our kin are even more suspicious of Men than they are of us. And…she has a human father. It is obvious she's not full dwarf, and even half of us didn't really trust her for a long time. Not until Goblin Town." Kili's jaw tightened.

"If any of our people do not accept her, they will have to answer to me," he said firmly as he clenched his fist next to him. "Thorin has declared her welcome in Erebor, and they won't dare to go against the King…and his heirs." Fili sighed.

"They will accept her on the surface," he agreed, "but they will never accept her as one of our own, or if they do it will take a long time." Kili looked at him aghast.

"How can you say that?" he asked, anger in his eyes. "She saved your life!" Fili held up his hand.

"Now hold on," he commanded, resembling Thorin very much in that moment. "I never said I didn't accept her, nor did I say our company has not. All of us would be willing to die for her, if it came down to it, because she's our friend too, just like we'd be willing to die to protect each other.

"But we are a small group," he continued. "We know her, and she knows us. You cannot expect thousands of dwarves to know her heart as well as we do, nor can you expect them all to accept her in their hearts-not truly." Kili sighed, unable to refute his argument because he knew it to be true.

"I'm not sure I want to reclaim Erebor anymore," he admitted. Fili's eyes widened in shock.

"What?" he asked, disbelief in his tone. "Kili, you and I have been dreaming of helping Thorin reclaim Erebor since we can remember!" The younger leaned his head back against the stone behind him and closed his eyes.

"I know," he said sadly, before looking back at his elder brother. "But Fee, everything will change. Thorin will be king, you will be the crown prince, I will be the second heir, Mother will be a princess of the Line of Durin again, and Cira...she will be in Laketown all alone and unprotected, and…nothing will be the same." Fili's gaze softened, and he laid his hand on his brother's arm.

"Kee," he said firmly, "You will always be my brother and my best friend, and Thorin will be our uncle. No matter what titles we bear, no matter what responsibilities we will have, that will not change. And…I don't know if Uncle will listen to me, but I swear to you- I will try to find a way to convince him to let Cira live in Erebor. And if anyone gives her grief, they will have to answer to me as well." Kili's eyes glistened, and he placed his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Thank you, Fee," he whispered. "I just…cannot bear the thought of her living in Laketown unguarded and unprotected. Not after what happened with the Woodmen." Fili's gaze hardened.

"Me either."

XXX

Cira stared at her hand, eyes wide as her own heart beat fast.

Why am I trembling? She thought to herself in shock. Why…did I freeze when his hand touched mine?

The young woman replayed the moment in her head. She had been so nervous about the edge of the ravine, so afraid of falling, so afraid…of Kili falling. He'd reassured her, brought her supper, sat with her. Then her hand accidentally knocked the spoon out of the bowl, she had reached for it…and his hand had landed on her own.

She knew she was growing very close to him. She had not been exaggerating when she said he was her best friend. The young woman knew she could trust the dwarves with her life…but she knew she could trust Kili emotionally as well. She did not seek attention from her past- she actively avoided it, in fact. Very few people in her world had known what her father did to her, and Kili was the only one in this world she felt she could tell at all.

She did not trust easily, especially with her heart. She guarded it like a dwarf would guard a newborn babe. Cirashala had been hurt far too many times in her life to trust her heart to just anyone. She trusted Fili too…but Kili was truly the only one in her life she could let in like she had. She felt like she could tell him anything, and knew that he would never laugh at her-unless they laughed together.

Laugh. She still could not even bring herself to smile in her grief, not even when Fili sat on all those pinecones. Before, she would have about died at his shocked expression, laughing so hard that her sides ached and tears fell from her eyes. But the prank, though well-exacted and friendly revenge, hadn't elicited even a twitch of her lip.

But lately…Kili had gotten her very close to laughter. His stories of amusing moments in his childhood, his claim that he was completely innocent of all wrongdoings in the mountains- she wanted to laugh, but couldn't. But he had almost succeeded, which is far more than anyone else in this world could have boasted.

As she lay in her bedroll, her mind went over everything she and Kili had gone through. Him finding her in the troll cave, his gentleness with her, their prank against Fili, his protectiveness of her. His patience with training her, his shielding her from the fall in Goblin Town.

Her mind went to the Woodmen's village. When Breglin attacked her, she had been utterly terrified- too terrified to fight back. Memories of her father's abuse had flooded her mind, and she had known that this time, it would be much, much worse than simply having unwanted hands touching the wrong places.

She remembered that moment when Kili had stepped out with his bow drawn. She had seen his injuries- she knew that the action must have caused a great deal of pain for him. But he had come between her and the man that attacked her, shot him in the hand, stood between them. If he hadn't done what he did, she no doubt would have been assaulted in a way no woman should ever be.

Yes, Kili was physically protective of her, and she could easily chalk that up to chivalry and honor and the protectiveness of a friend. But it was more than that. When he held her after Mizimel's stabbing after she cried, when he allowed her to grieve, when he respected her privacy while cleaning her wounds after Goblin Town- in those moments, he proved to her that she could trust him with her heart as well, and he would not betray that trust. If she'd thought for even the faintest hint of a moment that he would, she never would have told him about her father.

Her heart continued to beat fast within her as she thought about his hand on hers, and confusion warred in her mind. She missed her husband terribly, and her children as well. She had loved him so, so much. She had been able to trust him with her heart as well, and loved him so much for it. He had been her best friend, her confidant, her love, and she felt safe with him, unlike anyone else in her world.

So why am I reacting like a schoolgirl with a crush? She thought to herself, now more confused than ever. He's my friend...just my...friend...

It was hours before she fell into a deep and troubled sleep.