Epilogue (In which everyone is home for the holidays)

Two Months Ago

"So," Darcy drawled as she flounced into the den of Bucky's apartment, her arms holding her tablet against her chest. "Four for you for finally getting revenge on Steve's revenge about that Cyclone ride on Coney Island and the thing with the train."

Arching a brow, Bucky muted the television while Darcy climbed over his legs and plopped down next to him, the screen of her tablet still pressed to her body as she curled her toes into the cushion, "How'd you hear?"

"It's so adorable how you forget that people weren't literally live-tweeting your outing yesterday," she reached out with one hand and patted his shoulder. "I was stuck in the lab with Jane, but that doesn't mean I wasn't tracking updates from AvengerWatch."

Bucky rolled his eyes, "Yeah, and?"

"Jane told me I shouldn't show you this, but I told her that ignorance is not bliss, and you have to get used to the fact that you guys are totally news-worthy now that you're back and best friends like you were in the olden-days and-"

She flapped at his hand as Bucky reached for the tablet, scooting back against the arm of the couch, "Hey! Grabbing is rude."

"What are you hiding, doll?"

A wide grin spread across her face as she peaked down at it, "Well, you know, so here's a thing," she trailed off as she flipped it over and showed him what was on the screen.

There was a picture, some eagle-eyed photographer snagged a pretty clear candid of a ginning Bucky and Steve coming off the Cyclone, Bucky's arm slung around Steve's neck, his other hand ruffling his hair while one of Steve's arms was visible around Bucky's waist.

Which was fine, except for the headline:

IS BUCKYCAP THE NEW BRANGELINA?

Bucky blanched, and then took a deep breath through his nose in what Darcy had long since been able to recognize as the sniper breathing technique that he and Clint used to keep calm while both on missions and while watching horror flicks on team movie night.

"What even is that?"

Dropping the tablet on the cushion in front of her, she grinned as Bucky glared at it warily, "They are speculating, as nosy people have for the last like, fifty-something years, whether you and Steve are friends since childhood, or more than friends since childhood."

"But we're not," he said stiffly. "I mean, Peggy, and you know, he wasn't so innocent with those USO gals he toured with. They were all just too afraid of Carter to come out with their own tell-alls."

Holding her hands up, she shrugged, "And?"

He blinked, looked down at the screen again with an uneasy look on his face, "So what do we do about that?"

"Well, short of finding a girl, walking outside, and making out for the paps to photo, which for the record, would not remotely be a hardship for me, just so you know," she winked and he rolled his eyes. "We just have to go with what Pepper says to do whenever there's another so-called certified news story claiming that all we do here is save the world and have all the sex."

"And that is?"

"Ignore it. Or laugh at how wrong they are and then take the magazine covers up to the roof and use them for an epic bonfire. I like both options."

Sneering down at it, Bucky finally rolled his eyes and shrugged, "Whatever."

She snorted, "But just so you know, that's not going to stop everyone's favorite billionaire playboy philanthropist from ordering a giant print of this magazine cover, framing it, and hanging it up in the hallway for you and Steve to walk by every day."

"Because why not?" He rubbed his hands over his face. "Fucking Stark."

"And you have had the honor of dealing with both father and son."

Bucky slumped lower on the couch, "Honor is a very strong word," he gestured to the tablet without looking at it, his eyes focused on a spot on the ceiling. "Did you really have to show me that, doll?"

"Absolutely."

"I hate you."

She grinned wide as she shifted closer to him, reaching across to grab the remote from the arm of the couch and turned the volume on SportCenter back up, "No you don't."

Rolling his eyes, he leveled a bland look in her direction, "Don't you have a genius to wrangle?"

"Not at the moment. Thor took Jane out shopping and I'm pretty sure that the lingerie shop in Brooklyn that Natasha loves was on their list, so they're going to be occupied for the foreseeable future, and I am not going back down to our floor until at least tomorrow morning."

"Well isn't that nice?"

She beamed, "Of course it is! I get to spend my valuable time hanging out with you, and will probably fall asleep on your couch. This is like, your best day ever."

"You are cracked in the head Darcy Lewis."

Two Days Later

"Oh my god, if I get one more reply-all email from a thread that continues to have nothing to do with my department, I am going to throw up or chuck my phone off the roof. Or both," Lily groused as she swiped violently at her phone's screen to delete the message in question.

"Rough life you got there Lil," John grinned over his coffee, the entire family sitting around the table in the dining room for breakfast before everyone headed back home.

She threw her balled-up napkin at him, "Just because you're self-employed," she trailed off with a little bit of threat in her tone, rolling her eyes at him as as she silenced her phone mid-way through another chime and dropped it in her jacket pocket.

From Lily's right, Darcy smothered a giggle, and Valerie took a delicate bite of her omelet, "You could always move into the private sector, take a position at a real PR firm in Los Angeles. There's plenty of opportunity for a single woman such as yourself, and you can settle down."

"Well-"

"Ugh, Mom, maybe she doesn't want to settle down," Troy snapped, cutting Lily off. "Just because you can't handle being single for more than five and a half seconds doesn't mean she's not perfectly awesome on her own."

Valerie's jaw dropped, "Troy Michael Lewis! You stay out of this!"

Sharing a wide-eyed look with Bucky, Darcy put her hands up, "Whoa, whoa, why doesn't everyone just take a breath, and we can all pretend this never happened and end this family experiment with little to no thoughts of homicide?"

"I second that!" Annie chirped, rolling her eyes as she tore a bagel apart for Mara, Marley sitting on her other side with her headphone firmly pressed into her ears. "Seriously. Being single is not a damn disease."

Charlene cleared her throat as she darted up, "Anyone wants more coffee?"

Everyone sat frozen until Bucky raised his hand, "Please."

The tension lessened slightly, and Darcy slouched in her chair and stuffed her bagel and cream cheese sandwich in her mouth to stop herself from saying anything to back Troy up and turn Valerie's attention onto her.

Under the table, a socked foot touched against hers, and she tossed a smile at Bucky as she reached for her coffee, shifting her foot and curling it around his ankle.

"So Darcy," Greg broke the silence. "Is the team going to be back by the time you guys head home?"

"Think so," she shrugged. "Apparently things are going well in China and they should be done on time. And Jane's supposed to be back from London the night before we fly in."

"So Stark hasn't caused an international incident yet?" Lily grinned.

"I'd take offense on his behalf, but if anyone would cause an international incident, it sure as hell would be him."

"Pepper has obviously been very good for him."

She snorted, "You have no idea."

The rest of breakfast was spent on the slightly safer topic of some of Tony's pre-being-Pepper's-boyfriend era exploits, and but by the time they were done, Darcy was more than ready to get the hell on the road and back to Santa Barbara.

Standing in the driveway, Lily squeezed Darcy hard, "So what do you think about me taking my single, cat-owning butt out to the city this summer? Do some shopping, you humor me and let me act like an obnoxious tourist, maybe we check into a hotel and do the spa thing? Plus, I want to see where you live."

"I'm down. Doors are always open. And you would not believe the hotel connections Potts has. We're so set."

"That's my girl," Lily patted her shoulders, and then let her go and turned to Bucky, reaching out and grabbing his upper arm. "Be good. The sports world is very tiny, I have contacts everywhere, and we all love our social media."

He smirked and covered her hand with his for a second, "Yes Ma'am. I'll keep that in mind."

"This one's smart," she grinned back at Darcy. "Good find."

"Always go for the classics," she winked.

Lily laughed and hugged her again, "Well considering that both World War Two transplants are apparently very unavailable, as if your friend's Norse God, I guess I'll just take what I can get out of the modern era."

"What are your thoughts on archaic weaponry?"

The innocent tone in Bucky's voice was way too innocent, and Darcy glared and poked him in the side before Lily could say anything, "Bucky Barnes, you are not going to play matchmaker."

Lily looked between them, "And I am still not going to ask," she quipped. "Have a good rest of your trip."

Valerie was already sitting in the passenger seat of the other Lewis family's sedan, and John said a quick goodbye to Darcy and Bucky before he made his way over to the SUV, and Troy shuffled up to them, his shoulders slumped and his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

"You're going to be fine, kid," Darcy squeezed his shoulders and ruffled his hair.

When he looked up, Troy had an absolutely pitiful look on his face that was only slightly exaggerated, "Take me with you?"

Darcy wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, "I'll call you when I get back to New York. Pepper and I will pull all the strings we've got, wherever you want to go to school. Promise."

"Thank you!" He hissed, glancing at his waiting parents out of the corner of his eye. "Ugh. She's still pissed since I called her out at breakfast. Woman's not going to shut up the entire ride home."

"Just tune her out, and remember that homicide is not the answer."

He sighed, "Can I use her blatant disapproval of your life choices to distract her?"

"I'd be worried about you if you didn't."

That evening, after dinner and fourth-night of Chanukah presents—Darcy got a gorgeous pair of boots from Pepper, Bruce gave Bucky some books on meditation—they sat curled up on Darcy's bed, the rest of the household already settled in to sleep after the long day.

"Four more days," Bucky murmured, Darcy's eyes focused on her fingers as they trailed up and back over the plates in his arm. "What else do you have planned for us?"

She snorted, "Well originally, I was just going to sleep in, drink Mom out of her own wine stash, and accrue a really big collection of half-drunk water bottles," shrugging, she looked up at him. "You have anything in mind?"

Darcy could feel the burn of the look he was giving her, and she rolled her eyes and poked his side, "We are not having sex for the first time under my parents roof. Nope."

"You and your rules, doll."

"As fun as it would be to traumatize the Generalissima, Dad had enough trouble reconciling with the fact that Annie had a baby, let alone the sex that led to it. It would be mean."

Bucky tucked his hand under her shirt, stroking up and down her back, "Guess I'll wait," his words were grudging, but his tone said otherwise as he tucked her closer to him.

Leaning up, Darcy pressed a short kiss to his mouth before touching her forehead to his, "Thanks."

With a grin, he kissed her again, burying his hand in the fall of her hair, "You're welcome, doll."

"Anyway, we just spent the last few days in the snow, how about we hit up the beach tomorrow?" She asked slowly, talking as she thought. "Grab some food from this awesome seafood shack that is totally less sketch than it looks, watch the water, and actively avoid being caught in direct sunlight?"

"Sounds like a good plan."

Tapping her chin, a wicked grin spread across her face, "And while we're there, you know what else we should do?"

"Dare I ask?"

She was still grinning wide, "We should introduce you to the world of Twitter by way of making the best out of the ever-ironic Winter Soldier at the beach jokes."

He looked at her for a long minute, and then let out an exaggerated sigh, "You and your Internet."

"You know you love it."

Four Days Later

Greg made pancakes the morning that Darcy and Bucky were set to head back to New York.

They sat at the island while he cooked, Darcy on her phone while Bucky had Cat on his lap, the animal purring loudly as she rubbed her head against his hand before settling on his legs and licking his pants.

Darcy flicked through pictures on Instagram, rolled her eyes at yet another picture of her college friend's dog, which she treated more like a baby than a puppy, double-tapped to like a picture of a girl who was in her freshman English class at Culver, went to Ireland for study abroad and never came back, did the same for a picture of a dinner plate of a high school friend who had been getting into culinary blogging.

When she scrolled to a picture from Clint's account, her brows flew to her hairline at the shot of an exasperated Tony handing what looked like a very large bundle of money to a slyly grinning Steve.

The caption read: "Tony bet that Steve couldn't use the flimsiest excuse known to man to convince Darcy to take Bucky home with her for the holidays. Steve is now twenty grand richer #WinterShockisthenewBrangelina"

She slid the phone across the granite, glaring when Bucky let out an amused snort, "I should have known that punk was up to something," he muttered, reaching across with his right hand to double-tap the photo. "He was just too interested in getting me out of the Tower."

"I know he's your best friend, and Tony's technically the guy who sort of signs my paychecks, but I'm totally going to kill them."

Bucky arched a brow, his leg nudging her own, which disrupted Cat's perch, and she mewed before hopping off his lap, "Is it really so bad?"

"Of course not," she squeezed his fingers under the table in deference to her father, who stood with his back to them, listening to the news report playing on his iPad, which was propped up on the counter next to the stove's removable griddle. "But I'm definitely demanding that we get a cut. Or at the very least, a shoe shopping trip on Tony's dime."

"You get that every time you go out with Pepper."

She rolled her eyes, "Fine," she groused as she leaned against the back of the stool. "I'll figure something out on the flight back, and it will be epic."

Bucky spared a quick glance at Greg before he tugged Darcy closer and murmured, "You're going to be busy," he kissed her ear, and then gently bit down on a spot on her neck that he found the other night before leaning back, smirking at the bright red flush blooming across her cheeks.

"We-ell," her voice was high and she coughed, and then glanced at her Dad, whom she prayed was distracted enough by the morning's sports report and that he didn't hear. "That will be epic too."

"Oh Darcy, it was so wonderful to have you home," Charlene gushed as she hugged her tight, the whole family standing in the driveway next to the convertible. "Don't forget to call when you land."

She nodded against her mother's bony shoulder, "We won't," Darcy smothered a laugh as Charlene let her go and then threw her arms around Bucky.

"And it was so wonderful to finally meet you," she said as she let a wide-eyed Bucky go. "You're more than welcome to come back and visit any time, Bucky."

"Thanks," he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he watched Marley and Mara launch themselves at Darcy, and she fell back against the car before squeezing them both.

Annie sidled up next to him, "Gotta say, she can certainly do worse when it comes to boyfriends. You keep her safe, yeah?"

Eyes still trained on Darcy, he nodded, "Yeah, I will."

"Good."

"Yes, yes," Darcy was saying as she hugged her dad. "I will endeavor to be at least slightly more communicative, I promise. Maybe I'll call once a week. I'll have JARVIS set up reminders or something."

Greg arched a brow, "You can't do it yourself?"

"I haven't actually known what day it is for like, the last four and a half years," she waved a dismissive hand. "I need all the help I can get."

Laughing, he hugged her again, "You poor kid."

"It's a rough life we've got," she grinned as she held her hand out toward Bucky. "Isn't it?"

He curled his fingers around hers, a warm look in his eyes, "Only on days that end in 'y'."

Snorting, she rolled her eyes and grinned at her parents, "Look at this joker," she poked him with her free hand, and then dug the car keys out of her bag and looked up at Bucky. "Ready?"

"Whenever you are."

With another wave to the family and a final round of goodbyes, Darcy and Bucky got in the car, and Darcy gunned the engine before she backed it out of the driveway and turned toward the end of the block.

At a stoplight near the highway, Darcy reached out and tangled her fingers with Bucky's, grinning as she glanced at him, "Let's go home."

A few hours and a few thousand miles later

Late t hat afternoon, Happy picked them up from La Guardia and drove them back to the Tower, and when they stepped in the elevator JARVIS mentioned that the team was gathered up in the penthouse.

Darcy had a devilish look in her eyes, "Want to go say hi?"

Kissing her, he pulled back, leaned against the wall of the car and shrugged, "Not really," he said pointedly. "But whatever you want to do."

She grinned so hard her nose crinkled, "I want to go say hi real quick," her eyes slipped to the corner of the car. "Take us up JARVIS?"

"Of course, Ms. Lewis."

The doors slid open seconds later, and Tony and Pepper stood by the entry table looking at the tablet the CEO held, "Hi Tony," Darcy chirped, getting their attention. "Bucky and I defiled your jet. How was China?"

His jaw actually dropped as he gaped at her, and Darcy rolled her eyes as they stepped off hand-in-hand. "Dude, you practically challenged us. And the bet with Steve? What did you expect?" Winking at Bucky, she breezed past them and toward Jane, who was choking on her drink as she sat with Bruce, who was doing his best lobster impression. "Hey Pepper, we need to plan a shopping spree on Tony's credit card! I think I want to redecorate my suite. I don't know what I was thinking with that shade of green."

Chuckling, Pepper patted Tony on the shoulder before she passed him and kissed Bucky's cheek, "Welcome home. I'm glad you had a wonderful week," she looked back at Tony, who was still staring after Darcy. "Oh come on you. Take a deep breath."

The business world's most powerful duo walked off—well, one led the other, who was muttering under his breath about his poor, poor jet and that he had to call someone to get it sanitized.

Steve sidled up next to Bucky, his hands stuffed in his pockets, "So," his tone was deceptively conversational. "How was California?"

Snorting, he muttered something under his breath before bumping his shoulder against Steve's, "Fine, you punk."

"You're welcome," He pulled one hand out of his pocket and handed over a small bundle of cash."

Bucky arched a brow at it, "What's this?"

"Half of what I got from Stark," he smiled as he looked across the room to Darcy, who was sitting on the couch and talking animatedly with Bruce, Jane, and Natasha. "Bribe her with something nice for Christmas."

Flipping through the bundle, Bucky stuffed it in his pocket as he faced Steve, "You do know where my money comes from, right?"

He rolled his eyes, "I wasn't going to mention how you were the one who ran off with all of Hydra's dirty SHIELD money, but," he trailed off with a shrug. "I can take it back, if you like."

"Not even. I had to sell my soul to Twitter because of you."

"You created a free account."

"Like I said, sold my soul. Punk."

Steve rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. You're welcome."