AN: Some team Mustang drabbles I've written on Tumblr because i do love them. RoyAi heavy, because they ship it too. :)

No chronological order or collection between the chapters. Just everyday events in the office and beyond.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA

Team Mustang Collection

Chapter 1

The Gift Shop- Take 1

The morning rain had lifted and Colonel Mustang was walking down the street with his team on the way to a facility inspection. He decided they would walk since he had been cooped up for a week straight as the rain just refused to end. Roy wasn't aware monsoon season was a perk to living in the East and he made a mental note to start pushing a little harder for that transfer to Central. One bonus to walking was that the lovely ladies of East City would be able to bashfully wave and giggle as he passed. He had his best flirtatious grin on for them and could hear Havoc bitching ten feet behind him. It was a good day!

Riza wondered if she could request a shock collar for the Colonel or if that would have to be a private purchase. Certainly if she filled out the requisition form and put it in front of him he'd sign it without a glance. He was waving and smiling and she was just dying to press a tiny button that would shock his mind back into functional instead of flirtatious. "Colonel, watch the puddles. I would hate for you to be rendered impotent if you should trip and fall."

Roy glanced over his shoulder at her. Well someone was a little jealous. She glared back at him and he wisely looked forward without making some smart ass comment. Then his eyes caught sight of something rather intriguing; A kiosk selling fan merchandise. "I'll be damned."

Breda was trying to stay as far away from Hawkeye's hell hound Hayate as possible, so he was the second one to see what was on the street vendor's cart. "Is that a Roy Mustang doll collection?"

Havoc walked up behind Mustang and looked over his shoulder. "Wow! A Flame Alchemist Gift Shop!"

Kain Fuery darted up past Hawkeye and looked at the treasure trove. "I've been looking for this stuff at Comic Con but they're always sold out!"

Roy picked up the 12" action figure and smirked when he saw the little guy had his trademark handsome looks, flexibility and soft black hair. "How cool is this?"

Hawkeye told Hayate to sit and wait as she looked at the toys. Fuery handed the clerk way too much money for a doll and she moved around to the side of the cart when Roy went to ask the proprietor about her wares. She picked up doll Roy, he was a very detailed little doll. The gloves were delicately stitched with his array and all the joints were movable.

Falman grunted. "Fullmetal Alchemist dolls are "Half-Off". Is that a remark about the price or his lack of limbs?"

Breda started to re-position all the display dolls while everyone was distracted. He started to bend the dolls over, but found they weren't stable enough so they had to assume a "doggy style" position instead. He let the doll Colonel smack his own ass as it seemed like something the guy might try anyhow. While he was at it, he made one doll kiss his ass. Yeah, Mustang did a lot of his own ass-pats around the office, so why the hell not?

Havoc leaned over. "So where are the Hawkeye dolls? Even this little plastic dude can't do anything without his babysitter."

Breda looked over at Hawkeye who was rather intently checking out the figure and his clothes. He cleared his throat, "So Hawkeye, are you dying to get his little clothes off so you can see if he's anatomically correct…..or to see if they put that little mole he has on his ass on the replica?"

"He doesn't have a…." Riza paused as she saw Havoc and Breda hanging on her next words. She looked up and through the cart to see a pair of black eyes peering at her through narrowed eyelids from the other side. She couldn't see the rest of Roy's face but she could she that arched eyebrow, a tell tale sign that his smirk was firmly fixed on his lips. He was curious to see how she backed her way out of their trap too. Bastard. "Price tag."

Roy's grin went full scale as he saw Breda and Havoc hang their heads in defeat. He looked at the pamphlet he got from the clerk and waved it at Breda, "They have a life size version too."

"What good are they if you can't buy a Hawkeye doll?" Havoc stood up and shrugged. "What's the point of buying him if we can't have them make out?"

Falman gave a deep 'hmmmm' as he read the pamphlet. "Sir, maybe you should be concerned that the life size version has a pliable anus and silky soft mouth and is marketed as a 'love doll'."

"Who cares?" Havoc pouted. "I don't want to have to customize a gun-toting Barbie just to give Fuery's doll some much needed attention."

Breda held the doll he was looking at out over the puddle in the street and dropped it in. "Where are you Doll Hawkeye? He's wet! You know how vulnerable that makes him! Protect him and molest him! Help! He's useless and damp! He's all wet before you are!"

Hawkeye frowned as the clerk put her hands on her hips and glared at the grown man. "Breda, pay for the doll you just ruined. Hayate, get the doll out of the puddle."

Breda screamed as the dog darted forward and snatched up the soaking wet action figure.

Havoc pulled out his wallet to pay for his best friend who just spent the last of his paycheck on a pastrami sandwich. "It really is just wrong that you don't sell her doll too. If they were that accurate, then they'd come in the box together because he can't do anything without her. We know. We work for him."

Roy bent down to pet Hayate who was not interested in relinquishing his prize. "Now you make sure you put that on her bed tonight, Ok? I'll give you a steak if you do that for me."

Riza kicked her Colonel. "Stop it."

Roy stood and whispered, "What? If I can't be there, Little Roy should remind you of what you're missing."

"If your little Roy is ever going to be allowed in my bed again, you better quit saying things like that in public." Riza growled back.

"They're distracted with toys." He pouted, "I miss you."

"Just because I'm not standing right beside you holding an umbrella doesn't mean I'm not right behind you."

"You're not close enough to rub against back there," He grinned. "Speaking of, what were you looking for down his pants?"

She looked at the rest of the team trying to convince Fuery to let them play with his new doll. Fuery was starting to whine about 'collector value' and something about 'new in box' as Havoc snatched the toy from him. "Take control of your men, please."

"Gentleman," Roy said authoritatively. "We have a…"

"Fueling station." Riza said.

"Fueling station to inspect." Roy completed his sentence and watched them grumble and leave Fuery alone. "Let's get moving."