This is obviously not cannon. Anything you recognize I don't own. Warning for abusive situations and possible triggers, particularly in chapter 3. Will be marked as such.

I am making my way through the story making changes. Check back soon!

BOOM!

As the quick light of the lightning lit up his room, followed by the loud boom of thunder, 4-year-old Kurt Jackson hid under his blankets, clutching his teddy, Paddington, tightly to his chest. Lucy Jackson grabbed her brother's hand and held it tight.

"Where's mommy?" she whispered.

"I don't know," came the soft reply. Their mommy was usually in bed much earlier than this, he was sure, though e wasn't exactly sure what time it was.

BOOM!

"Mommy!" Kurt cried out, leaping from the big bed and racing out of the room to find his mommy, dragging Lucy behind him, Paddington still clutched tightly in his arms. Kurt and Lucy found Mommy asleep on the couch, the TV on quietly in the background.

BOOM!

Kurt leapt on top of Mommy, waking her in the process.

"Oh, my babies," Mommy said, startled, pulling him tightly into her chest and wrapping the other arm around Lucy, kissing her forehead, then his. "I should have woken up sooner. I'm sorry," she said.

Lilly lifted her daughter in one arm, and took her son's hand with her other arm, and brought back to the bedroom of the small apartment. She sat Lucy on the bed as Kurt climbed up next to her, and Lilly claimed her spot in the middle, with Kurt cuddled on her right side and Lucy on her left.

"Story or song?" she asked her two favorite little people.

"Rainbows," Kurt requested. Lilly smiled and gave him a little squeeze.

"Close your eyes," she requested before starting to sing.

"Somewhere over the rainbow,

Skies are blue,

And the dreams that you dare to dream

Really do come true."

As Lilly's voice sang on, the thunderstorm continued outside, but Kurt and Lucy finally fell asleep curled tightly against their mommy, Kurt with Paddington clutched in his little arms; Lucy with a hold on her baby, Miranda.

Lilly lay awake for a long while after the children fell asleep, just watching them. It was times like this that she missed her husband, Jacob, the most. It was par for the course with the children, Kurt even more than Lucy. Every time it stormed, they would sleep with Jacob and Lilly. Sometimes they would come scurrying into their parents' room, but most of the time the storm would wake Lilly up, and knowing her children as she did, she would go check on them. She would usually find Kurt burrowed in Lucy's bed, shaking beneath the covers. She would carry them back to her bed and lay them between her and Jacob. Sometimes they would lay awake and tell stories, other times they would fall asleep right away, all cuddled together. Now it was just her, and the three of them shared a double bed.

Jacob had been a construction worker. He died four months previously when a car barreled over the barriers separating the driving lane from the construction workers, killing Jacob and another worker, while the driver remained relatively uninjured. Lilly and Jacob had never been rich, but between the two of them they made ends meet. Lilly was now the sole breadwinner, and her job as a waitress didn't bring in much. She wasn't able to keep up with rent for long, and it wasn't long before she, Kurt and Lucy had to move into a shelter. The shelter helped them get back on their feed, and they were able to get into a tiny, one-bedroom subsidized housing apartment for quite cheap; but it wasn't a great neighborhood and there was no room for Kurt and Lucy to run around.

She was glad Kurt and Lucy were such easy-going children. Lucy was a little more high-strung and energetic than Kurt, but really, when compared to the rough and tumble neighborhood boys she watched sometimes, she realized she had two amazingly easy-going kids. Always happy and full of energy, of course, they were four after all; but they liked things neat and tidy and they played nice games. It didn't take much to keep them happy, and they always had each other for company. They enjoyed tea parties with their stuffed animals, playing with Lilly's heals, and helping Lilly cook. They loved attention, and Lilly gave them all she had. They also loved their elderly neighbor, Mrs. Blackstone. She was a widow, living alone, and adored her time with the twins. She watched them free of charge once a week when Lilly had to work the evening shift. They went to the other neighbors, the Clein's, with whom she traded babysitting responsibilities twice a week as well, but Kurt and Lucy much preferred their evenings with Mrs. Blackstone. The Clein boys were a little too rough for Kurt, and of course Lucy was not okay with Kurt being uncomfortable in any way. It sometimes instigated fights between Lucy and the Clein boys. Lily was trying to find a way to get back to school and pursue a nursing degree, to create a better life for her and her children, but that was hard when she had to work full time and raise two preschoolers. Neither she nor Jacob had any family to speak of.

Jacob was the one who pointed it out first: their son was not like the other boys. While they were out rough and tumbling, Kurt was playing tea party with his sister. While they were digging up worms, Kurt was running round in his mothers heels, giving Lucy fashion advice. They'd encouraged him to play with the boys, but he simply enjoyed playing with his sister and some of the other girls in the area better. When Kurt stated that all he'd wanted for his third birthday was a sensible pair of heels, Jacob voiced his curiosity as to if Kurt might be transgender or gay. They'd had a long conversation that night, and decided that they would continue to encourage both of their children to be themselves, and allow them to be whoever that was. They started talking to them about different types of families and people and adding stories about two mommies or two daddies to their nighttime cuddle story collection, so their children would grow up knowing there was nothing wrong with however they identified so long as they were good people. They would know that they could be comfortable being whoever they were. Now that Jacob was gone Lilly made it her duty to continue to raise the twins to be amazing people, now matter who they ended up being.

XXXXX

"The dinosaur's gonna eat your brains out!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"BANG BANG BANG! You're DEAD!"

"Ryan, Kyle, we don't play like that. Now come sig down for breakfast!"

"BANG BANG BANG!"

"Kyle, we don't play with guns in this house. Now please, sit down at the table."

"JERONIMO!"

"Ryan! Get down from there! We don't stand on the bookshelf!"

"Mommy, something smells burny."

"Shit!"

"Oooooh, Mrs. Jackson said a bad word!"

Lilly was not having the best morning. She was thankful to the Clein's for watching the twins in the evenings, but her mornings with Kyle and Ryan were nothing short of horrific. They were just. So. Rough. She needed to get out of the house in the next 20 minutes so she could get the kids to school and start her shift at 8. Kurt had a rough start to the morning; after the storm last night, he hadn't slept well. Lucy decided she was going to be stubborn this morning, and wanted to wear her pink pants with her bright purple top. Kurt insisted that she couldn't, and it started a 20-minute argument, to which Lilly put to rest by allowing Lucy to wear what she wanted. Kurt spent the next 10 minutes having a meltdown because Lucy would humiliate herself, leaving them way behind schedule. She pulled the blackened pancakes off the stove, and tossed them into the sink, pushing them down the garbage disposal with a fork. They were unsalvageable and she was too flustered to make another batch. Not to mention low on time.

"Alright guys, what kind of cereal do you want? We have Fruit Loops, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Cheerios," she asked the kids. As the kids were eating, Lilly went to change into her uniform.

XXXXXXX

At long last, after having first to go back for Lucy's backpack, then stopping at a gas station before Kyle wet his pants, the children were at school and Lilly pulled into the parking lot at the diner.

"You're late, Jackson," her boss exclaimed as she rushed through the door and threw on an apron.

"Sorry, we had a rough morning," she explained.

Her boss, Rico, gave her a mock glare before grabbing some dishes for a customer. They really had a good relationship, and he was more than understanding when it came to her children. He tried to gave her as many school-day shifts as he could, though Lilly had to work some evenings and weekends because that was where the big tips came in. On emergencies, Rico was more than okay with Kurt and Lucy taking up a booth and coloring while Lilly worked. He even gave them free ice cream when this happened. He made no secret about his adoration for Kurt and Lucy, and may or may not give Lilly special treatment on occasion because of her situation. After Jacob died, Rico provided the family with all oft their meals for the next week.

Lilly grabbed her pad and went to the nearest table…a young couple with a child about the twins age.

"Hello, welcome to Rico's diner. I'm Lilly and I'll be taking care of you today. What can I get you to start out with?" she asked in her friendliest voice, placing a coloring page and a few crayons in front of the little boy.

"I want a cheeseburger!" the boy exclaimed.

"It's breakfast time, Finn. How about some pancakes?" his mother suggested.

Lilly had to laugh…the boy reminded her a bit of her Lucy.

"How about some coffee to start out with, and orange juice for Finn?" The man requested. Lilly nodded with a smile and went to retrieve the drinks. The family was so sweet, but it made her think of Jacob.

XXXXXX

Lilly didn't work late that day; only until 3:30. The children went to after school care on her early evenings, so she picked them up on her way home.

They got back to the apartment. Lilly helped the kids out of the car and made their way inside. She took out the graham crackers, peanut butter and banana, and made them a snack. Kurt requested Mickey Mouse so Lilly obliged, and the two settled on the couch with their snacks and show. Lilly, meanwhile, began emptying the kids' backpacks to check their work from the day and look for any teacher's notes. She pulled a red card out of Lucy's pink folder. That surprised her—usually both of her children came home with green cards. Upon reading the note, she learned that Lucy had dumped purple paint over the head of a little boy, who had made front of Kurt for wanting to use the 'girly color.' Lucy had then proceeded to spend the day calling the boy names and telling him he looked like the 'one eyed one horned giant purple people eater.' She had received two time-outs that day, and lost her playtime privileges. Lilly shook her head, placing the note to the side and opening Kurt's folder. He had received a yellow card for yelling at the teacher for being mean to his sister when she wouldn't allow Lucy to play with him at playtime. Of course, Lilly wasn't overly surprised at why her children had gotten in trouble. Lucy was overly protective of her brother, particularly when it came to other kids being mean to him. Kurt was sometimes the victim of teasing because he preferred girl things over boy things, and Lilly couldn't be mad at her daughter for protecting her brother. At the same time, Lucy had overreacted and taken the protecting thing to a whole new level this time. Lilly decidedly made her way to the TV, turned it off, and sat in front of her children.

Lucy explained that the boy, Daniel, was a big butt face most of the time and nobody liked him. She explained that he was a poopy head and that the purple paint was a vast improvement over his natural appearance, to which Kurt erupted into a fit of giggles. Hiding her own amusement, Lilly explained to her daughter that while she was proud of her for protecting Kurt, what she had done to Daniel was just as bad as what Daniel had done to Kurt, and that being a bully wasn't OK, even if she was bullying another bully. Lucy should have told a teacher, or even just told Daniel off and ignored him. Lucy spent several tearful minutes in the corner while Kurt was scolded for yelling at his teacher, though Lilly figured the time-out he had received at school was punishment enough. Lilly was going to ensure that her children were not bullies, but she also wanted Kurt to know that he wasn't to accept being teased. There were other ways of dealing with things.

Everything forgiven and the children happy again, the small family sat down to a simple dinner of sandwiches, eaten on the floor of the living room tea party style.

"Can we have a dance party, Mommy?" Kurt asked, as he finished off the last of his milk.

"Sure thing, sweetie," Lilly responded. "Help me carry the dishes to the kitchen, and I'll find something to dance to."

The living room was cleaned up in short order, and the furniture was pushed out of the way. The next hour was spent dancing fanatically to the Beatles, Lilly singing along, and the children following as best they could. They adored their mommy's singing voice. They thought she was better than the Beatles themselves. Daddy had been a really good singer as well, and a guitar player. They used to have dance parties with Daddy playing the guitar and Mommy singing, while Kurt and Lucy danced. Kurt and Lucy felt that Mom and Dad's version was much better than the Beatles. Lilly had tapes of this, but it was too hard to listen to, so they settled for this.

Bedtime that night went quite well, as exhausted as the children were from their big day. Lucy decided in the tub that she would apologize to Daniel tomorrow, but if he gave her or Kurt any more problems she was going to hit him…no, she was going to tell the teacher and be happy he got in trouble.

"Raindrops on roses

And whiskers on kittens

White copper kettles

And warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with string

These are a few of my favorite things."

The children were asleep rather quickly tonight, Lucy pressed against her mommy and Kurt cuddled between Lucy and the wall. Lilly breathed in the fresh scent of the twins' favorite strawberry scented shampoo, before dozing off herself. After the storm and lack of sleep last night, the Clein kids rambunctiousness this morning, the long day on her feet at work, and the twins' energy tonight, she was too exhausted to do her normal pre-bedtime cleanup.

XXXXXXX

The next morning, Kurt woke up with a cough. Lilly took his temperature, and he didn't have a fever. She determined he was well enough to go to school, and the morning (without the Clein boys) went very smoothly.

"Mommy, when is Santa coming?" Kurt asked, as he did 2-3 times per day.

"Thanksgiving is next week, darling. A few weeks after that, Santa will come," Lilly explained.

"Is that four million and four thousand hundred days away?" Lucy asked, innocently.

"No, baby, it's only a little over a month away," Lilly chuckled. "After thanksgiving, it'll go by fast, I promise."

"Can Santa bring my daddy back?" Kurt asked.

Lilly felt tears form in her eyes. "No, baby, he can't. But Daddy will be watching our Christmas from heaven, and we will try to have a happy Christmas anyway, that's what he would have wanted, right?"

"Yes, Mommy," the twins chorused.

Lilly pulled into the parking lot of the children's school, helped them out of their car seats, took one little hand in each of hers, and led them inside and toward their room. Mrs. Barber, their teacher, was there to greet them.

"I'm opposed to say sorry to Daniel," Lucy informed her teacher, looking around for the boy.

"Daniel's not here yet, but you can say sorry when he gets here," Mrs. Barber informed the girl, helping her out of her coat. "Why don't you go play with the babies," she offered.

Kurt, meanwhile, looked hesitantly up at his teacher. "Sorry, Mrs. Barber, for yelling at you," he said, quickly looking down at his toes. Mrs. Barber gave the boy a small hug.

"It's all forgiven now, Kurt. Thank you for apologizing," Mrs. Barber replied. Kurt started hacking, and Lilly winced. "He just started that today," she told the teacher. "Call me if it gets any worse?"

"Will do, have a good day, Mrs. Jackson," the teacher smiled.

XXXXX

Lilly rushed through the rain that had started while she was in the school, back to her car. She made it to work, on time this time, and began waiting on customers. At about 1:00, she got a phone call from the school. Kurt, apparently, had a fever.

"Rico, that was the school, my baby's sick, can I take off?" she asked, approaching her boss in the kitchen.

Rico spooned out some chicken soup into a to-go container. "Give this to the little one, and tell him to feel better," he told one of his favorite employees. Lilly gave him a quick hug, grabbed the soup and her things, and headed back out into the pouring rain to get her sick baby.

The roads were slick, and the downpour was torrential. Driving was slow. She made it to the school by 1:30, where she found poor little Kurt in the nurse's office. She knelt down next to the little bed he had fallen asleep on and felt his forehead. He was burning up.

"It's spiked to 102, you might want to get him to urgent care," the nurse suggested. Lilly nodded her agreement, and flipped open her phone to call Mrs. Clein and ask her to pick up Lucy. Mrs. Clein agreed, and Lilly went to the classroom to pick up Kurt's things. Upon her entrance, Lucy saw her mommy and ran over to her, wrapping her little arms around Lilly's legs. Lilly picked up her daughter and gave her a tight squeeze.

"Is Kurt gonna be OK, mommmy?" Lilly asked in her sweet little voice.

"Yes, baby, Kurt's going to be fine. Mommy is going to take him to the doctor so he can get medicine and get all better, and Mrs. Clein is going to pick you up and take you home," Lilly explained.

"I want to go with you!" Lilly exclaimed, tearfully.

"Doctors are boring, baby, and Kurt is probably going to be sleeping. You'll have much more fun here at school and with Kyle and Ryan, and Mommy will pick you up in just a few hours.

Lucy, unused to being anywhere without Kurt, bit her lip hesitantly. "Promise?" she asked her mommy.

"I promise," Lilly responded. She led her daughter back to circle time, and kissed her goodbye. "Love you, baby," she said, before going to gather Kurt's things and pick her sleeping boy up from the nurse's office.

XXXXX

After the slow drive to Urgent Care and 45 minutes of waiting, Kurt was finally seen. The doctor diagnosed him with a viral infection, and prescribed an antibiotic—the bubblegum kind that Kurt loved—and the two were on their way.

By the time they were on their way home, the rain had, if possible, increased. Lilly had to drive extremely slowly, and Kurt was no longer tired at this point but singing in the backseat. She could barely see 5 feet in front of her, and if they'd had anywhere to sleep or any money for a hotel, she would have called Mrs. Clein to keep Lucy for the night and gotten a room.

Lilly chugged on. The normal 20-minute drive had already taken an hour, and they were still a few miles from home.

"Mommy, the angels sure are sad!" Kurt exclaimed.

"That's right, baby. Mommy needs you to be quiet though, this is hard to drive in." The light turned green, and Lilly made her way through the intersection. Kurt continued to make his barbies dance in the back seat.

Lilly saw it coming, too late to do anything about it. She turned her wheel, so the front of the car—where she was seated—took most of the impact, and not in the rear where Kurt was sitting. The truck smashed into her and pushed her car clear across the intersection, where it made impact with another moving vehicle.