A whirring noise filled the air on the outskirts of the Hogwarts grounds. Dumbledore was walking through the grounds when the sound reached his ears. Dumbledore took off running toward the source of the noise. Before his very eyes, a blue box appeared. The whirring stopped and he was alone in a field with a police box.
The wizard moved around the box lightly. It only sat there. Unmoving. Dumbledore prodded the box with his wand. Still, it did nothing. This was something he had to share. A great Muggle object, magically transported into the middle of the Hogwarts grounds. So Albus Dumbledore started on his way back to the castle to share his find with one of the only other witches or wizards he thought could appreciate it. Minerva McGonagall.
No sooner than the great wizard was out of sight, the door to the Tardis opened up. Out stepped a fiery ginger woman and a thin man in a striped suit. It was the Doctor.
"Now where are we?," she asked brusquely.
"No idea" he said putting on a pair of thick rimmed, square black glasses and turning around and facing the scenery. "Oh. It looks a bit like Scotland."
"Not any part of Scotland I know of."
"Oh, so you know then, do you Donna? You have seen every inch of Scotland there is to be seen?"
"Oy! Watch it martian boy," she said, hands on her hips. "Don't make me throw you off the tower of that thing."
"Donna Noble, Scotland expert. Lucky to be traveling with you, now aren't I?" he asked, his face a mere inches from a tall dark tree.
Donna walked up to him and turned him round to face the castle that stood across a lake from where they are now.
"Well, that is lovely now isn't it," he said straightening his glasses. "Come on Donna."
The Doctor grabbed Donna by the arm and started dragging her off to the castle. While she made it difficult for him, she secretly wanted to go.
"That isn't going to contain another vespiform is it?" Donna asked, breaking free from the Doctor's grasp.
The Doctor ran before her straight for the castle, rounding a large lake quickly. Donna huffed with the effort to keep up. She could have sworn that when she and the Doctor were discussing it, they were going "home". "Home" meant back to her time, her place. This was Scotland. Even if it was present day, which still remains to be seen. Ahead of her, the Doctor ran behind a bush just outside of a long covered bridge. Given the opportunity to catch up, Donna joined him.
"What are we hiding from?" Donna asked.
"Not hiding. Thinking." The Doctor was peering over the top of the bush down the long corridor.
"About what? How you plan to storm the castle?"
"Well. Yes, actually." The Doctor was fumbling in his pockets. "Look, we were going back to Chiswick, London, year 2008. This, if we are correct, is Scotland at the best, year unknown."
"Great. We could be on the Planet of Hats and I don't even have one on."
"Be quiet." The Doctor pushed Donna's head down.
The Doctor drew his sonic screwdriver from his pocket and pointed it at the door down the long bridge. He flicked it on for a moment before turning it back off.
"I don't get the typical readings. It doesn't sense anything mechanical, but it does pick up something strange."
"Like static electricity?"
"Yes Donna, the castle is filled with helium balloons and fluffy woolen sweaters for your frizzy delight." The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Come along."
The Doctor, followed closely by Donna, moved from around the bush and headed down the long bridge. At the other side they were surprised to find themselves in the middle of a courtyard rather than just at a door. There were large knights in armor in large alcoves to the side of the door. Strangely manicured bushes lined the square. Outside of that were large stone walls.
The door they were standing by suddenly rattled. The Doctor pulled Donna with him behind one of the knights as a large outpouring of children in cloaks departed the castle. Their energy was high as they talked discussed questions, newts, werewolves and things the Doctor had yet to hear of. As the stream of student's petered out, the Doctor moved out from behind the knight and gave the door a tug by its great handle. He peaked around its edge, seeing nothing in a large empty hallway.
"Donna," he whispered fiercely. She looked around the edge of the alcove that she was still hiding in. "Come along."
Carefully, Donna Noble snuck out from the alcove, careful to watch to make sure that no students were able to see her. She crept through the barely open doorway and joined the Doctor. They now stood inside of a large stone hallway. It was devoid of all people, ready for them to explore.
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Reaching her office, Albus Dumbledore knocked loudly upon its door. A pointed witch in a tall hat and emerald green robes appeared at the doorway.
"Good afternoon, Albus," she said as she open the door.
"Good afternoon, Minerva," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled mischievously over his half-moon glasses. "Could I trouble you for a consult with something on the grounds?"
"I have a lot of exams to grade Albus"
"I assure you it is worth your time."
Minerva McGonagall sighed audibly, but came out into the corridor with Dumbledore. He led her down the hall. Down several flights of stairs. Out a door and through a courtyard. Straight across a bridge overlooking a large lake around which students who had just finished their N.E.W.T examinations were resting in the shade of trees and playing on their brooms. He led her clear across a field, over a hill and through a valley. By now she was beginning to grow weary of her superiors fondness for "adventure". Yet she followed him still. Straight to a large blue police box.
"Isn't it wonderful, Minerva?" he asked, glowing.
"It is a police call box, Albus. A Muggle invention."
"Yes, but it quite magically appeared here in this field as I was walking about."
"I assure you Albus, you probably just failed to rewalk in a circle. Certainly we must have ventured beyond the protections of the Hogwarts grounds."
"I can assure you we have not, and that it did appear before my very eyes. It made a wheezing sound. It was oddly reminiscent of when the giant squid gets gassy."
"Again, I assure you, Albus. There is nothing magical about this police box."
With that, Minerva McGonagall pushed open the door of the Tardis and looked at Albus sharply. To her surprise, Dumbledore simply walked in.
"This is amazing, Minerva!"
"Merlin's beard, Albus, it is just a phone box!" Minerva was growing annoyed. Dumbledore threw an arm out of the doorway to lead Minerva in.
"Albus, I am not coming in there with you."
"Minerva," he called from within the box. "I really must insist."
Minerva McGonagall took Albus's hand and allowed herself to be led into the Muggle Police Box. What she found inside, however, was nothing she has ever seen of Muggle technology.
"It seems, Minerva that the Muggles have found technology similar to our undetectable extension charms."
Albus Dumbledore's eyes twinkled brightly as he laughed inside of the great large room that was inside of the Police Box.
"This is no ordinary Police Box, I can assure you of that Albus," Minerva said as she moved around a strange looking console. The console had a large pillar in it and was emitting a bright blue pulsating light. All around them were small lights, like tiny porthole windows of a ship. Albus had propped himself up on a thick branch-like support running from floor to ceiling.
"Get down from there," Minerva shouted.
"Calm down , Minerva, it's not like it is Devil's Snare."
Dumbledore climbed down anyway. Walking along the room, he came to a stairway. He climbed it and disappeared down a long hallway. Minerva quickly ran to catch up to him and followed him down a long hall way. The interior of the box was quiet, not another creature could be heard.
"Albus," Minerva hissed. "We shouldn't be here."
"Honestly Minerva, if it is the great Muggle contraption you make it out to be, this Police Box is of no worry. In these dark times, we need some light hearted adventure."
"The next great adventure I go on, Albus, will be after I am gone!"
"Death?"
"Yes, Albus, death."
"Hmm… 'Death is but the next great adventure.' Beautiful words, Minerva, I may have to steal them. Now come along, I smell knowledge just beyond that doorway.
Albus Dumbledore stood pointing his finger about three doorways down from where he now stood. Albus set out for the doorway and Minerva followed behind him.
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Donna followed the Doctor down the long and winding stone corridor. Besides rows of doors, a d a fork here and there, the corridor also contained a trophy cabinet. Donna glanced at the awards for things like quidditch, gobstones, and an award for Best Youth Journalism from the Daily Prophet, a paper she had never heard of. Looking at some of the pictures in the cabinet, she could have sworn that she saw them change positions or their eyes move to follow her. She even thought that one of the images waved at her before she blinked it away and rejoined the Doctor.
He mostly led the way, but something pulled her attention to a fork in the hall. Leaving him, she went and peered down the hall. The corridors that they had walked through thus far were dimly lit, but down this hall Donna was able to see a bright light. Donna ran back to the first tunnel quickly.
"Doctor!" she called out.
The Doctor turned round to find Donna poking around a bend that he had all but missed.
"What have you found?"
"Scotland," she joked. "Take a look at this, then"
The Doctor joined her at the fork and peered down the hall. It was just like the one they just came from - long, dimly lit with sparse doors here and there.
"What's that light bit there?"
"I didn't look, I didn't want to lose you," Donna admitted. "Wait a tick, I'll check it out."
Donna raced down the hall with a renewed excitement about their present whereabouts. Behind him, the Doctor heard a chamber door rattle. Fearing it might open, the Doctor raced down the hall after Donna.
"Donna!" he hissed, joining her just as she was reaching the area where the light shone through.
It was a magnificent view through great stone pillars. In what they could only assume was the center of the castle was a great open space filled with staircases and paintings and candles that seemed to float in mid air. The Doctor turned round and peered down the hall. In the corridor they just came from a student crossed the hall.
"Donna!" he whispered, pulling at her arm.
Donna turned round to see two more students cross in opposite directions just past the opening to the hall they now stood in.
"What now?" Donna asked just as the handle to a door near them rattled.
The Doctor grabbed and dragged her with him in between two pillars. Looking over the side, he was able to see a staircase below them. He put his finger on his lip and motioned to Donna to follow him. He carefully leapt down to the staircase below them. Donna looked at him as if he was crazy. It was at least an eight foot drop. Onto a staircase! The door behind her burst open. Donna had no choice, be seen or jump. She jumped just as a stream of students exited the room.
"Doctor, this is… crazy…" she huffed as she raced to follow him as he sped down the stairs.
"Fingers on lips, Noble," he said in a quiet rush.
He reached a landing in the staircase where it turned, looked over the side and swore audibly. He stood, trying to keep low as Donna joined him.
"There are more kids down there," he said when Donna joined him. "I think we're in a school."
"This is no school the likes I've seen," Donna said.
"Come along, and stay low. If I make a move, follow me over the side, we can use the balusters as hand and foot holds."
"Are you insane?" Donna practically screamed before the Doctor placed his finger on his lips indicating that she was too loud.
"Possibly, now come along."
Donna followed the Doctor down the stairs in a crouch. It killed her legs, but she sped as fast as she could. The noise in the great room was growing louder. The staircase they were on began to tremble. Suddenly the Doctor grabbed her arm before flying over the rail. Donna raced to join him, but was careful to find her footing, unlike the Doctor who was now dangling a few stories up. He climbed up gracefully and peered through the balusters. Beyond where they hung, legs swarmed passed. The pair of them exchanged relieved glances.
Their relief, however was short lived. The staircase rumbled to life, turning them from safety into the middle of the great room. Not only did the staircase turn direction, it now was taking them up rather than down not one, but two whole floors. Looking from one to the other, Donna and the Doctor looked up and down from where they perched. To their disbelief, the staircases were ALL moving. The only thing that gave Donna any hope was the fact that the crowd of students was beginning to thin out and that there was no one shouting too look at the pair of normally dressed people clinging to the side of the stairs.
As soon as it seemed that the students were gone, the Doctor looked around. Seeing no one, he pulled himself over the ledge and reached a hand over to help Donna. Pushing his hand away, Donna climbed over the railing of the staircase and fell to the steps, sitting, relieved that she was no longer dangling precariously over what could only be certain death.
"Where do you think they're off to?" Donna asked.
"Next class, I expect. They were all headed in different directions."
"Well, I think this has been enough for one day. Shall we pop back to the Tardis?"
"I think we might want to be careful with our words, Donna," the Doctor warned. "Judging from the way these staircases moved, I'd venture to guess that popping from place to place might be a distinct possibility here."
"So, not Scotland then, eh?
"I suppose you're right. Then again, in all of the murmuring, they were speaking English. Come on."
The Doctor started to head up the stairs, but Donna did not follow.
"Don't you think we should be headed down?"
"Well, sure, but take a look."
Donna turned around only to find that the base of their staircase, despite descending two levels, joined with another set of stairs leading back up to the second floor from where they started.
"Well, isn't that just brilliant!"
Donna climbed up the steps and joined the Doctor at the next landing. The Doctor was already at the closest door to the left of where they had landed, his ear pressed firmly to it.
"Hear anything?"
"Not a peep."
"Well, I think we should get in there and think things through. Sonic it like you do the others."
"I can't sonic it, its a wooden door!"
"Well, what good is that screw driver thing then?"
"Oy! Don't diss the sonic!" The Doctor gave the door a gentle pull, just in case there was someone inside. "Seems it was unlocked."
"Good, get in there." Donna watched as the Doctor slipped around through the doorway.
"Who know's what else they hid in a place where the stairs move," she muttered to herself.
"Cerberus," the Doctor whispered as Donna joined him, still watching the hall for anyone who might be watching them, closing the door behind them.
"Say wha-?" Donna said before the Doctor's hand clamped tightly over her mouth.
The Doctor turned her around with his free hand. Before them slept a giant dog with three heads. He felt Donna stifle a scream beneath the hand still covering her mouth. Her eyes were wild as she felt behind her for the latch of the door, not taking her eyes off of the beast in front of them.
Her hand finally found the latch, but when she pulled on the door it did not budge. She turned around, ripping herself from the Doctor's grasp who was still staring intently at the dog. She pulled fiercely at the door latch, rattling it as she tried to free them. It was to no avail.
"Fuck," she said, falling back against the door with a thud.
At that the dog in front of them snorted. Its six eyes flickered open and shut, as the creature woke, only to find two strangers in its midst.
"Oh, bloody hell," the Doctor sighed audibly, before comprehension set in. "Donna, it's a three headed dog. Like the one in Greek mythology. The one that guards the underground. To get past it you got to - to sing something. Sing something, Donna!"
"What?" Donna shouted over the ever increasing volume of growls from the three headed dog in front of them.
"Sing! Donna! Sing a bloody song!"
"Rising up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive"
Donna looked at the Doctor who was scanning the room crazily, looking for an escape route as she continued to sing.
"So many times it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive"
At last the creature in front of them started to settle down. Its eyes blinked sleepily. The Doctor was creeping slowly towards the creature as Donna continued to sing.
"It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rivals"
The Doctor, having found a trap door in the floor of the room, opened it. He motioned for Donna to follow him.
"Keep singing," he whispered.
"And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all with the eye of the tiger (by Survivor)"
Donna crept toward the Doctor as she sang. Toward the three headed dog, whose eyes were now shut, returning to its slumber. As Donna finished the chorus, she slipped through the trap door, followed quickly by the Doctor.
"Eye of the Tiger?" asked the Doctor. "That was the best you could come up with?"
"I didn't hear you singing! Maybe an alien ode would have worked faster!" Donna retorted. "Besides, where are we now, and how are we going to get back to the Tardis?"
"No idea, but let me think a second."
"Doctor!" Donna squealed, suddenly realizing their surroundings. "These plants are-"
"You think I haven't noticed?" the Doctor asked, also being ensnared by vines. "Shut it so I can think!"
Donna humphed, but bit her tongue. Arguing with the Doctor was not going to get them out of this mess any faster. In the dark there where they sat was only two sources of light. One was high above them, from the dimly lit room with the trap door from which they fell. The other was growing dimmer, a single match held between the Doctor's fingers. Donna watched it as the flame grew closer to his fingertips as the Doctor looked about the room. Finally feeling the heat, he accidentally dropped the lit match.
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Hagrid had just been to fetch a few large steaks from the kitchens over by the Hufflepuff dormitories, when he returned to the doorway in the third floor corridor on the left-hand side. His arms laden with meat, pushed on the door that he had left open knowing the goods he would be returning with. The door didn't budge.
"Thas funny," Hagrid thought aloud. "Coulda swore I lef dis door open."
He fumbled in his pockets for a large ring of keys. Finding it, he shuffled them until he reached the proper key. Pushing it into the lock he turned the key and swung the door open with a bang. The three headed dog, quickly reared up growling.
"Down, Fluffy, ya great brute!" Hagrid boomed, closing the door behind him.
Fluffy sat down, eyeing Hagrid carefully. Turning back around to the animal, Fluffy was able to see the pile of steaks that Hagrid had been brought for him. The beast's eyes immediately lit up, his giant tail wagging dangerously from side to side.
Hagrid hurled three of the steaks into the air, one for each head. The heads caught them successively and finished them quickly. Wagging their tail, the heads begged for more. Knowing his animal well, Hagrid, gave Fluffy three more steaks before sitting down on the remainder of the pile.
"Finish whay yer got thar," Hagrid said soothingly when one of Fluffy's heads starting sniffing longingly at Hagrid's makeshift seat.
Fiddling in his robes, Hagrid pulled out a harp that seemed almost too small to be operated with his giant - sized hands. He settled into his meat chair and began to play a soft, yet playful tune as Fluffy worked on the steak that he had just received. Hagrid's eyes closed as he played, swaying in his seat.
As the tune grew more upbeat, Hagrid rose, dancing about the rom. Taking the opportunity, Fluffy stole the remaining steaks and split them among his heads. Hagrid payed no mind, he was too busy dancing about the room playing his harp. Too busy to notice the stolen meat. Too busy to notice when one of the heads drooled in his beard. Too busy to notice the trap door laying open on the floor before he tripped over it.
Hagrid rolled to the ground in a giant heap. The only thing that kept Fluffy from taking notice was the grand supply of food. Rubbing his now sore head, Hagrid rose to his feet to find what had felled him. He looked directly at the trap door. It was laying back against the floor. He realized he was lucky he did not fall down it.
Down it! Realization of the situation dawned on Hagrid at last. The trap door was open! The door had been locked! Someone had been in the forbidden room in the forbidden corridor and they were now headed straight for - - -! Never mind! He had to tell Dumbledore!
Hagrid raced from the room, dropping his harp behind. He payed no attention to when he left it behind as we went racing out of the room and down the corridor. He was barely around a corner when he ran into Mr. Filch.
Filch bounced off of Hagrid's belly and flew back a few feet before landing on his rump. Mrs. Norris landed beside him, on her feet, and hissed at Hagrid loudly.
"Was the idea, ey? Filch questioned.
"I've got ter fin Dumbledore, someone 'as been in da room!" Hagrid exclaimed.
"I think 'es off searchin the grouns. I'll keep watch."
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There must have been something right about ignoring the Doctor as he thought about their current situation. No sooner had Donna shut her mouth, than did she sink beneath the vines that trapped them into a downward sloping passage where she landed with a thud. The Doctor was already below, rubbing his bony bum.
"Quite the drop," he said looking up to where there should have been a ceiling. "Soon as I dropped that match, it gave way."
"Lucky thing. Now what, if you've got all the answers?"
The Doctor stood, examining the sloping passage. It was extremely dark and damp. The stone they were standing on was slick with water, and a faint trickling sound could be heard. He knelt down to the ground and felt along the floor until he found the slight stream.
"Follow the water," the Doctor said.
"Follow the water?"
"Yes, this isn't full up, so the water has to be going somewhere."
"Better than back up," conceded Donna.
Donna followed the Doctor down the slick passage. Every once in a while one or the other would lose their footing and slip to the ground. The sound in the tunnel was growing louder, but it no longer sounded like water alone. It sounded slightly like birds. They stepped into another room, only to find that the source of the sound was a bit less mundane.
"Are those keys?" Donna asked. "With wings?"
"Flying about the room, yes, I believe they are."
"Where are we?" Donna asked.
"Scotland, thought you'd had figured it out by now, you being the Scotland expert," the Doctor said as he walked across the room towards the next doorway. "We seem to be in a progression of challenges. It seems that the only way forward is to complete the tasks."
"Right," Donna replied with a renewed sense of ambition.
"Take a look at this then," the Doctor said motioning Donna over. He pointed at the lock of the door. "This looks to be silver, most of those keys look to be brass. I'll bet that we are looking for a silver key."
"Have you thought of just trying the door?" Donna sassed.
The Doctor humored her and pushed and pulled and rattled the latch. It did not open the door. Donna turned away from the door and began to walk about the room looking around for the key and for help.
"Think this'll help?" Donna asked, holding up a broomstick.
"A broom? And what, you are gonna pop on it and ride about the room and chase the key down like a witch off the telly?"
"Yeah…" Donna replied.
"Go ahead, give it a go."
The Doctor rested his back on the locked door watching as Donna tried to mount the broomstick. Each time she climbed onto the broom, which had been hovering in mid-air, it dropped to the ground. Donna tried to get on it more carefully, but it still dropped. Donna even tried to leap onto it in a sitting position, thinking that if she could scare it, it would just take off with her on it and she could worry about steering later. It did not work, though, she only wound up bruising her tailbone and giving the Doctor a good laugh.
Following her bruised behind and ego, she grabbed the broom in her hand and began swinging it above her head trying to knock the keys out of the air. Try as she might, they simply flew higher than her reach would allow. Finally, taking a great leap, she released the broom in air, trying desperately to knock the silver key out of the air. Any key would do if it would end the Doctor's chortling. The broom simply landed on her head and knocked her down.
"Here," the Doctor said, pointing to a spot. "You stand there."
Donna moved into position as the Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver, pointing it in the air. He rested on the silver key, following it in the air, tracing its path.
"What good is that gonna do?" Donna asked incredulously.
"I can bounce sound waves off of the key," the Doctor said with a grunt. The sonic screwdriver whined, and the key dropped out of the air directly into Donna's waiting hands. "And knock it into your hands. now open the door."
Donna did as she was told and thrust the key into the lock of the next door. She opened the door to the next chamber carefully, only a few inches before peeking her head around its edge. She looked in quickly, before coming back.
"You're going first," she said.
"Why?" the Doctor asked moving forward to have a look for himself. He peeked around the edge of the door, before giving turning to Donna and shaking his head. "They're just chess pieces."
The Doctor strode slowly into the room. His eyes attempting to keep on all of the pieces at once. They were a few meters tall and made of stone. He walked about the chess board looking up at the great pieces. Picking the closest to him, which happened to be a pawn, he attempted to push the piece forward. It was too large and too heavy to be moved, even when Donna attempted to help.
Together they found the door on the opposite end of the room, but it was locked.
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"What now?" asked Donna.
"I think we have to play."
"How, they're too heavy to move. Do we just shout out pawn to E4?"
To both of their surprise, the white pawn moved to the e4 position. The black pawn opposite then moved to the e5 position to block.
"Wow, that was amazing, so if I just say -"
"Donna!"
"Knight -"
"No!"
"to F3?"
The white knight moved to f3 as the Doctor wrung his head in his hands. Looking up, he saw the black knight move to c6.
"Bishop to b5!" shouted Donna with joyous laughter in her voice, clapping her hands as she jumped up and down.
The black knight then moved to f6. The Doctor stood staring at the chessboard, dumbfounded at what he observed.
"Since when do you know the Ruy Lopez game? I was actually there in 1400 when he invented that opening."
"Are we winning then?" Donna asked.
"If I can remember the game correctly." The Doctor took a moment to think. "Pawn to D4!"
The game went by in a blur, pieces moving about on their own as the Doctor called out the moves.
"Knight to E4!"
Black lost a pawn to the knight, which was soon overtaken by a black knight, who was only to be bested by another pawn. The queens soon came out to play, but only lasted four moves with the black queen overtaken by a pawn it got too close to.
"Bishop to B3!"
With that move it was all over. The giant black king dropped his sword and fell into a pile of rubble. As the dust had cleared, Donna and the doctor heard, or rather, smelled the door at the other end of the room unlock.
"That was fun," the Doctor said. "Always nice to stretch the old grey matter. Shall we?"
Donna followed him towards the doorway, but choked at the stench.
"Something is definitely alive in there," she said.
"You stay here," the Doctor said at the doorway.
Donna held her ground, as the Doctor peered around the doorway. Inside the next chamber was a large green creature like an ogre. Beyond was an open door encompassed in purple light. It lay on its side sleeping. The Doctor motioned Donna away from the doorway to a corner of the room.
"It looks like a big ogre."
"Smells like a big ogre," Donna joked.
"It's sleeping right now, and the door on the other side is locked. If we can just quickly sneak through, without waking it, we should be alright. I'll lead. Watch your back, and as soon as we are on the other side of the next doorway, shut the door, get out of the way and put your back against the wall. Donna nodded in agreement and the crept toward the doorway again.
The Doctor carefully slipped through the doorway, followed quickly by Donna. They moved across the room, quickly and quietly, hugging the walls. They were nearly on when Donna's foot hit a piece of rubble and knocked it out of place. At the scraping sound the creature snorted and started to roll over. The Doctor picked up the pace and was nearly at a run. He himself knocked into rocks, and made a fair bit of noise as the creature began to wake up, but he paid it no mind. They only had to reach the doorway.
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Albus Dumbledore tried the door, but it didn't open. Pulling his wand out of his robes, he waved it at the door.
"Alohomora," he said.
The door sprang open and inside was a massive library.
"See, Minerva? Knowledge!" Dumbledore was proud of himself, but Minerva simply rolled her eyes.
Moving amongst the tall book shelves, Dumbledore curiously picked them up and flipped through the pages. There were Muggle books, and books he had never heard of mixed in. Some of the books were missing the last page, while others were intact. On a particularly dusty shelf, Albus noticed a great big book with no dust on it at all. He picked it up, and turned it gently to read its cover. Every Gallifreyan Child's Pop-Up Book of Nasty Creatures From Other Dimensions Dumbledore turned the book for Minerva to see, but she only just huffed. Taking the book along with him, Dumbledore continued to look around, followed closely by Minerva who only urged him to leave.
"There is nothing Muggle about this place, Albus," she hissed. "Surely even you can see that!"
"I feel quite content to stay a while, Minerva. Although, I do rather want to take this book. It seems like something that Hagrid would enjoy."
Dumbledore continued to peer through the shelves of scattered books, selecting one to examine more carefully every once in a while. Minerva, on the other hand returned to the doorway they had entered through.
"I thought I heard something, Albus," she whispered. "A sort of wispy gurgling."
"Oh, that is just the swimming pool, Minerva," he answered.
"The what?"
"Swimming pool. I distinctly remember that sound from a holiday I spent in Spain. I ran into a young Spanish chap at a pub, very friendly young man. He offered to show me the swimming pool."
"Albus, this is a library," Minerva said flatly turning away from the doorway. "There are no swimming pools in libraries. And I do not want to hear about your indiscretions from when you were younger, either."
"Suit yourself," Dumbledore said to McGonagall, who was now settling herself into a chair near the doorway, her wand rested on her lap.
Dumbledore continued to search the library, finding it fascinating. He turned down several rows of shelves, going deeper into the cavernous library. He picked up a strange book, half hidden behind the others on the shelf. The spine simply read The Time War. Dumbledore flipped through the book intently, scanning its pages as he read about "Gallifrey" and someone who calls himself "The Doctor" with a name he didn't know how to pronounce as he roamed the library. Turning another corner he found something interesting.
"Minerva!" he called out, staring at the thing in front of him.
Minerva joined him in no time, and stood behind him staring at the object. It was a large swimming pool. There was a fountain in the middle, that bubbled and churned. The water was a crystalline blue and seemed to rock like the tides.
"There are moments, Albus, that I really dislike you."
Suddenly there was a banging sound resonating throughout the police box. It was like a giant was pounding on the door.
"Professir Dumbledore sir!" a booming voice shouted.
It was a giant pounding on the door.
Dumbledore straightened up and headed quickly for the door, not even bothering to return the two books he had been carrying, followed closely by McGonagall. Reaching the door to the police box, Dumbledore ripped it open amid the pounding and shouting from Hagrid. Hagrid stopped mid shout.
"What is going on, Hagrid?" Dumbledore asked gently.
"Someone 'as gottin pas' Fluffy," Hagrid said in a rush.
"For Merlin's sake, Hagrid, no one can get past that oaf of a dog of yours," Minerva said exasperated.
"I went in ter feed 'im, and t' door was open. I swear on my father's grave tha somat 'as been in der!" Hagrid was sure of himself.
Dumbledore and Minerva exchanged glances. Minerva's was one of little belief, but Dumbledore's was one of concern. He stepped out of the Police Box, and turned to face it. He eyed the box carefully. Minerva stepped out carefully. No sooner did she exit the Police Box did it shut its door behind her. She stood dumbstruck. This was not a Muggle contraption. It was nothing like anything she has ever seen before.
"I think we may want to pay this some heed, Hagrid," Dumbledore said turning away from the box. "Please gather the other protectors of the stone, and meet me in my office."
The trio of them quickly made their way toward the castle.
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The giant creature reared up, a club in its hand. He swung it at the pair. Donna screamed and jumped back as it came crashing down between her and the Doctor. The Doctor dodged flying bits of gravel and stone as they continued to head toward the door. They were only feet away.
He burst through the archway of the door to the other side and stepped to the side of the door. Donna was close behind him. He grabbed her quickly, and pulled her to the ground, shielding her with his body as the ogre on the other side slammed its club into the opposite side of the wall from where they now cowered.
There was a long silence, as the Doctor stayed low, protecting Donna. Hearing nothing, they rose up, to their feet. The door behind them was shut. On their way through the arched doorway, they had paid no attention. The doorway was covered in purple flames, impenetrable. There was only one way to go. Forward.
There lay only two obstacles in this room. The black flames blocking the other doorway, and a single table covered in seven vials of varying shapes, sizes and colors and a single scroll of parchment. Donna walked forward and picked up the paper, reading it quickly.
"This one is all you, martian boy," Donna said, handing him the paper. "It is more to tickle that grey matter of yours."
The Doctor took the paper from Donna and read it carefully.
"Let's see," he said.
"Danger lies before you, while safety lies behind,
Two of us will help you, whichever you would find,
One among us seven will let you move ahead,
Another will transport the drinker back instead."
"So," Donna ventured. "One of these bottles will allow us to go through the purple flames to what? An angry ogre with a big stick, while the other will allow us to go through the black flames to what? A seven headed dragon who knows how to fence?"
"Something like that," the Doctor said continuing to read aloud.
"Two among our number hold only nettle wine,
Three of us are killers, waiting hidden in line.
Choose unless you wish to stay here for evermore,
To help you in your choice, we give you these clues four:
First, however slyly the poison tries to hide
You will always find some on nettle wine's left side;
Second, different are those who stand at either end,
But if you would move onwards neither is your friend;
Third, as you see clearly, all are different size,
Neither dwarf nor giant holds death in their insides;
Fourth, the second left and the second on the right
Are twins once you taste them, though different at first sight."
"Well?" Donna asked. "Have it figured out do ya?"
"Lets think this one out a bit, I think there is a bit more at stake. We can't luck our way out of this, Donna. There are 420 possible combinations of bottles." He picked up the paper again, muttering to himself. "What do we know."
"There are four clues," Donna said.
"No, the whole thing is clues. One among us seven will let you move ahead. So one of these potions will allow us to go forward."
"And another leads to certain doom."
"No, there are three that are filled with doom."
"No, Doctor, only one," Donna said flatly. "Three have poison, and one goes back to the ogre. I'd rather face death than face that thing again."
"I see, so forward it is for you as well. Right. Then there are two that contain nettle wine," he thought out loud. "I know what nettle wine smells like, I can always smell them all and rule those out."
"Best not, what if the vapors are poisonous as well."
"Perhaps you're right, Donna. So what do we have then?"
"Seven bottles. Two wine, three poison, one that goes forward and one that goes back."
"Now let's see. If there is always wine to the right of poison, the first one on the left cannot be wine. We cannot have three poisons together, else there would be one wine without a match. If any poisons are next to each other, the bottle immediately to the right must be wine."
"So if the first bottle is not poison, then the second cannot be wine."
"Right, next clue. Second, different are those who stand at either end, But if you would move onward, neither is your friend."
"That means that the first and last are different and neither one will let us past the black flames," Donna stated.
"Right you are Donna, isn't it fun?"
"I need to get you a dictionary for the holidays."
"The largest and smallest don't have poison, so we can rule those out. Finally the second ones in are actually the same. What do we have the same of?"
"Wine and poison, but it can be either one."
"So that leaves us with eight possibilities.
"So judging by size, this one here on the right must lead back."
"I agree," the Doctor said. "Which means that this one is the path forward."
The Doctor grabbed the smallest bottle in the middle, third from the left.
"So we drink it?" Donna asked.
"Well, the flames didn't go away when I grabbed it, so I suppose so," the Doctor held the bottle aloft. "Bottoms up."
The Doctor swigged half of the bottle down before passing it to Donna. Regarding it carefully, she sniffed it first. It did not smell deadly. Not fatally so, at least. She quickly drank the remainder of the liquid contained in the tiny bottle, trying not to let it linger too long on her tastebuds. She set the bottle back down in its original place only to find that it refilled itself. She joined the Doctor at his side and together they stepped through the flames.
They found themselves in a stone chamber with no other door. The way back was now blocked by purple flame. At the center of the room was a large mirror with an ornate metal frame.
"Do so suppose the mirror, then?" Donna asked carefully.
"I suppose so," he replied walking forward.
The Doctor stopped suddenly at the sight of himself in the mirror.
"Air-I-sed stra eye-roo oy-tee yoo-bee calf-roo oy-tee woah-zee…" Donna read from the mirror's frame. "Sound's like alien to me. Then again it is a mirror, so it may be backwards. Ah! I show not your face but your hearts desire. Well, that makes a lot more sense, doesn't it Doctor?"
The Doctor made no indication that he heard her. He starred only at his reflection in the mirror.
"Doctor?" Donna asked again. "What do you see in there?"
Donna's eyes, met the Doctor's in the mirror, but still, it was as if he did not see her. She didn't much see him either, for now in the mirror was her own form. She looked beautiful and bold at the same time. She looked like an adventurer, and had a wedding ring on her finger. She looked happy, like she had everything in the world that she wanted.
"She is quite lovely," came a face from behind the pair of them.
"Yes, I certainly am," Donna said.
To her dismay, her fabulous form shifted to her as she is now, joined by an old man in strange clothes.
"Who the bloody hell are you?!" she shouted.
"I was talking about the blonde. Who is she?" the man asked, touching the Doctor's arm gently.
"Rose," he gulped out. "Rose Tyler."
"A beautiful name for a beautiful girl," the man said. "I am sure that you would like to stay here with her, but many a life has been wasted that way, so I really must insist that you come with me."
The man held out his hand to the pair of them. Sighing, the Doctor took it. The older man nodded at him, and the Doctor held his hand out to Donna, who took it with a huff. In an instant they were transported from where they were to a large room resembling an office. Only it wasn't any office they had ever seen before. There were large floating golden orbs, candles floating in midair, and other strange objects all about the room. There was a gathering of other people in a corner talking in hushed voices, all of whom were wearing the same type of strange garment as the old man.
"Where are we?" asked the Doctor.
"I believe, as the saying goes," Dumbledore said. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you."
A tall man in all black nodded his stern head along with the sentiment. It was short lived, however.
"You are at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," Dumbledore said.
"Albus!" The man cloaked in all black said. "Surely you can't be telling these Muggles about-"
Dumbledore cut him off.
"Severus, I do believe that it is quite safe. We do have our ways, don't we? I also do not believe that they are Muggles," Dumbledore said. "I believe some introductions are in order. I am Albus Dumbledore. I set the mirror in the chamber. I am quite relieved to see that my enchantments have worked."
"Enchantments?" asked Donna. "Witchcraft? What in the bloody hell-"
"I'm the Doctor," the Doctor introduced himself. "And this is Donna Noble."
"But it say's here that your name is," Dumbledore began. "Nevermind, it doesn't matter."
"Noble," the dark robed figure muttered to himself.
"Yeah, Donna Noble," Donna said directly to the man. "Got a problem with that? I don't hear you making any introductions."
"Severus Snape," he said at last.
"You must have been the one to do those silly little bottles. Seems like it is up your alley," Donna snapped.
Snape's face screwed up in anger.
"Silly bottles. Those are potions, not kool-aid you stupid git."
"Now, now, Severus," a stout woman said calmingly. "I'm Pomona Sprout. I set the Devil's Snare. I hear that you got past it by accidentally dropping a match. A stroke of both genius and luck."
They continued around the room, performing their introductions. Dumbledore sent a small creature he described to Donna and the Doctor as a house elf. Something that Donna wished she could take home with her. The wiled away the afternoon drinking tea and butterbeer. The Doctor and Dumbledore played a game of chess, while Donna sat with Professor Snape talking about alcohol and the composition of different types of shots and ales they have had at pubs.
Time went by but it was soon time for them to depart. Snape cringed when Donna tried to give "Grumpy" a hug goodbye before setting off with Dumbledore on a journey back through the castle. On their way back out, Donna glanced once again at the trophy case. She now had a better understanding of the sport Quidditch, and would like to read more in The Daily Prophet, especially if it was by Joanne Rowling, the award-winning journalism student at Hogwarts School. Donna ran to catch up again. Back to the Doctor. Back to Dumbledore, who escorted them back to the field where first landed.
"This Tardis of yours," Dumbledore said. "Really is a sexy ship."
"You have no idea," the Doctor smiled.
He and Donna went back into the Tardis, waving goodbye to their new friends. As the door closed, the light on the top of the Police Box began to blink on and off. The ship started to wheeze, as it began to fade from sight. With a wave of his wand, Dumbledore simply said.
"Obliviate."
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Dear reader,
Thank you for reading my Harry Potter - Doctor Who crossover one shot. It was quick, dirty, and kinda stupid, but just something that came to my head. Bolded text comes straight from the source, either the Whoverse, Harry Potter, or Survivor, and all credit for their magnificent words is due to their respectful creators. I dedicate this short story to Watermelon/Lamb/Cow/Pig. It is always fun geeking out about the various fandoms with you!
~Snapefan85
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